I looked into the mirror…

January 25, 2012

After arriving home from being “professionally developed,” and having just driven through one of the many torrents of water falling over Sydney (and everywhere else on the east coast – get your goggles on!), I decided to get into my j-mamas (as my daughter used to call them when she was little. *smile*).

So, as you can imagine, I’m not looking the best….but I looked at myself in the mirror. I took a long look. And do you know what?

I like what I see.

As I pondered on this, it dawned on me that things really started to turn around for me, in many areas of my life;

when I liked what I saw.

Now let me explain that my long look in the mirror today, started with me noticing how peppered with greys my hair was. Then I proceeded down to my forehead – a road map of creases; my eyes – lots of lines of varying width; and some pigmentation to the skin that seemed to start after having kids.

But I’d rather have lines, than not move.

Yes, when I lift up my eyebrows in front of a mirror, there is that tiny recoil at how deep-set those wrinkles are – but I know that when others see them, it’s coupled with the reaction to a great story or excitement…

When I  laugh, I want my face laugh with me!  

I don’t believe a man, however, has the same pressure. In the media, there isn’t a repeated, ‘beautiful’ look for a guy – one that’s wallpapered in everything he sees, making him feel pressure to conform to its guidelines. The media says that a man can look and behave in MANY different ways and women will still find him attractive. Have you ever seen shows where the couple comprises of an overweight, plain-looking male and a gorgeous, thin woman? Would you ever see that show in reverse? I don’t think so. Look at that horrible show, Two and a Half Men.  I don’t know about you, but Charlie Sheen’s character and OUTFIT, were foul. And yet scores of women were lining up, gagging for him. Please.

For us, though, there seems to be a small window of what’s considered ‘beautiful’ and that image IS wallpapering our world.

No, men can gain weight, look any way they like, age gracefully (and some not so gracefully) –  but we love ’em all the same.

Question #6: Why can’t we love ourselves in the same way that we love our imperfect men? Why can’t we extend ourselves the same courtesy?

Not loving our own, UNIQUE beauty, but rather obsessing with an unachievable ideal (see the link in my last blog posting), is sending us crazy!

It’s making us spend SO much more money than guys, in All areas of fashion and grooming – trying to do what exactly? A woman who’s unhappy with the way she looks will never be able to ‘fix’ herself because another wrinkle will always appear and the skin will always continue to loosen. This equals a woman we think ‘has it all’ but is ironically as miserable as the rest of her gender. Just look at Olivia (and countless other women in the public eye).


I bet you that when you do – really  do – everything else will start clicking into place. It did for me. x

2 Responses to “I looked into the mirror…”

  1. Love it Paula … exactly what I keep thinking. Why is it so ‘normal’ for women to be permanently unhappy with their ‘flaws’ and ‘imperfections’ and it doesn’t even register with guys. Why have we let ourselves buy into this crap!!!? Who are those mythical ‘they-s’ that rule our perception of ourselves. Makes me sick thinking about it. So it’s great to have someone as passionate to push this message out. I keep thinking how this can develop into a program somehow to be taken into schools .. and maybe align with The Butterfly Foundation ..
    Well done, love the post! x

    • questionsforwomen said

      There’s stuff happening in high schools – at least there is at mine. We ran a workshop last year that was called ‘Beautiful’ – I was one of the presenters. Unfortunatley, it’s a small voice against everything else the girls see and perpetuate through their conversations and actions. BUT a voice is a voice…and my kids are always hearing mine! Their eyes are rolling into the back of their heads, though! Ha!
      ‘How did we get ourselves to this point?’, is what I want women to think about – because if we can really see how we are damaging ourselves as a gender, we might actually band together and make some change.
      Love your work too! x

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