Questions for *You*.
October 19, 2014
Just recently I had the incredible honour of presenting at the International Women’s Liberation Summit. It was an enthralling few days, hearing stories from such a rich pool of experience – not all nice, of course, but profoundly unifying.
The biggest issue I explored was the predictable and pedestrian narrative being spewed forth – one that has not deviated much, in essence, since the ’50s [Man = strong, brains, breadwinner, leader; Woman = weak, multi-tasker, housewife, follower] by the media and advertising at a ground-zero level; mainly through the common TV, the medium of choice, consumed by the masses.
My presentation – and my actual main concern with us human beings – addressed the way in which we perceive ourselves and categorise each other into labels; ever-restricting ones. I believe our obsession with labelling, will be our eventual undoing as a species.
It’s permeated every crevice from sex + gender through to race + religious beliefs; from what needs to be ‘tested’ in school to determine a student’s worth (label at the ready) through to perceptions of who a person is just from what job they have, where they live, clothes they wear, what they earn etc – all of which we know is ludicrous and non-sensical but something we sadly participate in (and consume), nonetheless.
The worst labelling by far, is sex; the label that hurts women and girls the most. It hurts us all, actually. We mustn’t forget the boys – because as easy (and true) as it is to say that males commit the most crimes, we must ask ourselves – how did they become the ‘monsters’ we keep reporting they are?
They were taught – just like girls are taught.
As the battle rages over what exactly a woman or man is, our media manages to showcase very strict guidelines as to how men and women are to be represented and perceived – this is the very labelling I want to debunk with our youth. They are our hope of change.
So I started a business to channel my activism toward them.
About three weeks before the Wicked Campers campaign in July, my business was born – to present workshops about media literacy, how we relate to each other as human beings, resilience, consumption and more.
I’ve called the business Questions for You, as the questions will be the springboard toward healthy discussion – using critical thinking.
The central theme – and what I titled my presentation at the Summit – is:
The standard we walk past, is the standard we accept.
I’ll tell you why our young ones are the answer. Recently, I had the privilege of seeing a volume of work, created by students, using film to tell a story. It was such an enlightening experience. I loved it. Some narratives blew me away and others reinforced stereotypes. The point is, however, that I saw a balance. And the incredible part is that I had no idea what sex had created what piece. Logic tells me that I saw sophisticated pieces equally from both males and females; all telling unique stories. This needs to be preserved and nurtured.
Turn to the TV and movie narratives, however, and we see something formulaic and banal. Our youth have the capacity to see beyond this but some need a guiding hand in helping them open their eyes to the ‘product’ they’re being sold – mainly what they’re being taught about each other and ‘how it is’. This sort of language will also be explored in workshops, as well as a lot of the clichés that keep humans bound to restricted perspectives; dealing equally with boys and girls.
Question #211: Does this sound like a program your school, child’s school, business or parents may benefit from?
My website: questionsforyou.com.au is ready for your perusal. Please peruse.
Action speaks louder than words, and this has never been more apparent for me. After 20 years of teaching, I feel a deep connection with our budding youth and have never felt more driven to do something, as I do with this.
I hope you’ll join me in this quest.
Deep, positive breath.
PS: Below is the back of my business card, which was designed by my dear friend Katy Donoghue of Giddy Up Graphics (I’ve known her since we were 7 years old). She rocked it. I do love it so. x 
From little things, big things grow.
July 11, 2014
A few days ago, I went to pick up my 11 and 7 year old daughters from a holiday stint with my parents.
As we greeted each other with hugs, my 11 year old did not hesitate in telling me, with great concern, that she saw something terrible when she was in the car with my dad – a van that said something to the effect of all girls being sluts who want to try it just once.
I was stunned because only the day before I had put up images (again) of the type of messages that the car-hire business Wicked Campers revels in, on my social media pages – including (and especially) the one my daughter saw.
So it’s official – something I personally called out had encroached and touched my family directly.
I was livid and went to file a complaint on the Advertising Standards Bureau.
The first thing you have to do is check if there have already been complaints made and whether the Board has made any previous rulings. Unsurprisingly, the list of complaints is long for Wicked Campers with a variety of unsavoury slogans and advertisements, like the following:
Or there’s this sort of thing:
Noice.
It appears the young, male, *haw-haw* demographic is well and truly being catered for; girls as sluts / women are nothing more than something to service males / guys with big cocks (to do what with, pray tell?)
The only problem is that it’s the everyday person that finds themselves face-to-face with these types of bulletin in the PUBLIC sphere, not the drivers themselves – that person merely announces their consent to what’s been spray painted on the back and ironically the only person who doesn’t see the moving billboard they’re driving around. Hilarious.
Step two was to file my complaint, as I didn’t see the slogan my daughter witnessed on the ASB list. There I hit a snag because I had to have seen it for myself, to be able to denounce them. I explained this to my daughter and she immediately sat up and said, “I’ll complain.”
And to be honest, I thought, ‘Why not?’
So she submitted it under her name and wrote as her reason for offence:
‘I am a little girl and I am not a slut.’
I’m proud of her.
I would like to now direct your attention to how a young male responded to my posting about this business on my Questions for Us Facebook page. You can see the full conversation there.
The usual waterfall of clichés start to roll off the tongue like honey:
* It’s just a joke;
* If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. (Which is actually my usual rule of thumb except when it’s in my face regardless of whether I bought it or not);
* I bet if it were about men we’d be all ‘feminists rule’;
* Comparisons that don’t compare (girl sluts and McDonald’s toys);
* Get out there and fight for something worth fighting for.
Suffice it to say I had a long conversation with this young man, reasoning that phrases like the one my daughter saw puts her and all girls in danger. He predictably responded that it’s not all men who would feel that way about women and girls and that the car rental business is not to blame for that.
Of course nobody ever says ALL MEN are a menace, but that Yes, All Women are at risk of harmful perspectives like these, crossing just one male’s mind – because it only takes ONE to enact those sentiments on an innocent girl.
Rolf Harris ring any bells?
I think ‘all princesses being sluts’, would have reflected his sentiments succinctly.
There are many ‘ground zeros’ in fighting what commences the chain of abhorrent perspectives and actions in people, and we can’t ignore them because in the eyes of most, it doesn’t equate to the fight against the femicide of girls in China and India, for example, or bringing the girls back from Nigeria (things I also fervidly fight for, of course).
I live here – in Australia – in a capitalist cesspool that will stop at nothing to make money. There are horrors occurring around the world which I passionately call out against, but the rape culture my daughters are about to enter, is the here and now – and it’s real.
We shouldn’t turn a blind eye to the so-called ‘little’ things because as Paul Kelly sang:
‘From little things, big things grow.’
Question #209: How can we fight the big things, if the little things prove too difficult?
It’s time to be Actionists, just like my daughter.
After quite the parley with this young man (which became more respectful as it progressed), I asked him where he (being smack-bang in the demographic he so eagerly defended) thought we should focus our energies to stop the perception of the hyper-sexualised youth and the halt of rape culture (which some slogans of this business purport), to which he answered the following:
He didn’t really answer my question and went straight for the overseas problem but appreciated his honesty in not knowing – which is generally the case with most people who start shouting objection to the calling out of bad actions.
‘Wicked Campers aren’t out to make women inferior.’
I respectfully, but wholeheartedly, disagree.
Deep Breath.
PS – I have started a Change.org petition to the founder of Wicked Campers;
Please sign if you are tired of being told what to ‘relax’ about.
>>> Sign Here
A manifesto + proposal.
July 3, 2014
What follows is how I see it; a manifesto of sorts. You can take it or leave it.
I am speaking to every single person who graces this post with their attention – regardless of gender (however you interpret that), race, religious persuasion, social standing and so forth.
I’m tired.
Aren’t you?
The attainment of money – that noxious contagion that has infected the psyche of our species – is the driving force of every human being, in some form or another, regardless of social standing.
One either works like a dog to attain it; ‘steals’ from the vulnerable to maintain ones wealthy society (and keep the status quo) or denies others from obtaining it, through enslavement – well, the last two points are heading up to the alter together, hand in hand.
This insatiable capitalist system, is destructively out of control.
We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
We have utterly lost our way.
We are suffering as a species and so is the planet that sustains us.
Our humanity is vanishing before our very eyes.
At home, I am teaching my girls to ‘find a solution to the problem’ and telling them to really think about the varying factors, before making an intelligent choice.
{I get cranky when I find out that the way they continue to deal with their problem is by shouting, finger-pointing and/or lying to get the other one in trouble.
Kids, right? Ha. That’s what far too many ‘adults’ do.}
The problem with our current paradigm – in its core – boils down to labels;
gender – race – religion – class.
* We attach labels (along with their pre-determined characteristics) to everything;
* We bestow judgement and social stigma or exile upon those who don’t conform to said labels and behaviours;
* We use these labels in pedestrian, yet sadly effective ways, to target the basest of human wants, rendering our race stupid.
The toxic way we relate to each other due to labels, has become the crux of how we relate to everything – especially our planet’s ecosystem; becoming critically out of balance.
We manipulate, exploit and insatiably consume – with little (if any) foresight – thanks to the lustful procurement of money and/or power.
The label that is crippling us the most, is that of gender.
Both males and females bundled into Label A: Men and Label B: Women.
What is a man?
What is a woman?
BAM! And there in lies the problem of our existence.
In the western world, Government – Big Business – Media (with their basis in ‘Religion’ {however you interpret that}) suckle at the teat of these manufactured labels, for the benefit of the self-serving and privileged few.
Dividing us into Men and Women – and making those categories ever stricter but MASS PRODUCED – is their bread and butter.
SCREW THAT!
It’s time to evolve out of this cesspit of hatred and destruction; actually use our minds, think intelligently and do things a little differently.
I – along with so many others (of both ‘genders’) – have been involved in bloody battles on the Internet; calling out abhorrent behaviour and crossing paths with bitter and spiteful trolls (of both ‘genders’).
Gender, in essence, is irrelevant – either one is a good person (with a penis or vagina) or one is not.
My proposal:
We must look at THE ACTION of a person only – regardless of gender, race, religious beliefs and/or class; we must drop all labels.
Classifying people in any way only entrenches the stigma further. I mean, how has this been working for us thus far? It’s only digging that wedge in further.
‘All men are violent’
‘All women are bitches’
Question #208: What is the ultimate point of categorising a person, when it’s the action of said person that must be addressed?
I am an actionist.
Another label, I know, but one that encompasses a fight for a just existence for all human beings – regardless.
Of course there are innumerable levels of dangerous conditioning that need to be dismantled – so very many – which I will explore more deeply in following posts, but I believe being an actionist is fighting for equality via a different track and that gives me hope.
It doesn’t matter who you ‘identify’ as – you’re a mixture of a gazillion different nuances that make you, you.
Who you are has nothing to do to with speaking out against destructive behaviours – *especially* those done to others because it could just as easily be us.
Anyone can be an actionist.
Join me?
Deep Breath.
Think ahead.
Arguments, however, by all those who troll the Internet and are given a platform to let their hatred infect – Think behind.
The oldest profession?
May 10, 2014
The newspaper, The Courier Mail from Queensland, published the following full-page article, this last Sunday 5th May, called:
Pie and Coke No Joke with the sub-heading Supersized Happy Hooker Deal.
Happy Hooker.
(shaking my hanged head)
This abysmal article is actually advertising the idea of ducking out in your lunch break (if you’re male) and having sex with a prostitute as a part of a meal deal:
A pie, a Coke and a POKE! – as they so disgustingly put it.
The most malevolent part of this article, however, is one of the first paragraphs that reads:
‘The midday rendezvous is also discreet, enabling clients to duck out and still be home for the wife and kids in the evening.’
So it seems we have well and truly arrived, people – adultery is now something we are literally endorsing in the paper today.
Well…why not?
I’ll come back to that question.
This article encapsulates how the lines of ethical and moral behaviour are ever being erased by the human race for the sole purpose of making money.
On an even more profoundly disturbing level – we are the participants of a world which ensures males have every opportunity to immerse themselves in the sexual and objectified images of females, which in turn forges their perceptions of what females mean to them.
So in this skewed modern-day existence, which sympathises for a small stereotype and dictates we should empathise with the poor male who can’t get any sex with a ‘regular’ girl and needs to purchase a female body to penetrate, I ask this question:
Question #202: Why does ejaculation have to happen inside a female?
(or in her mouth; or in her anus; or on her face etc.)
It’s the sense of entitlement; that’s the problem.
Whether in a relationship or not, males (prominently, as a species) act as though they are owed access to female bodies – and in the way they want; to varying degrees, of course.
If one thinks logically, without emotion, and with use of reason – we know that, commonly, it’s deemed one has ‘had sex’ – when he has orgasmed and, generally, in her.
I find that what we quickly choose to ignore is that female bodies are on the frontline in prostitution; ‘servicing’ male, after male, after male and we ignore those who find themselves trapped in this insidious industry – one that too many have arrived at due to horrible childhood experiences or unimaginable circumstances. And it is insidious, when you see (like in this case) the words ‘fun recreational pursuit’ in the same article that’s promoting adultery.
When the demand (male) is SO high, the supply (female) has to come from somewhere.
Therefore – surely – only logic can deduce, at this point, that female bodies are ultimately being used as commodities for ejaculation. It’s just dressed up in different ways.
This is an ad for a perfume that’s visible at the front of many Myer stores around Australia at the moment.
She is naked. She is painted like a gift. She has a bow-shaped bottle in front of her spread legs – ultimately, the gift. The perfume is even called Bon Bon – how delicious!
This subliminal messaging that every single human being absorbs as they walk past images like these, is palpable.
Adults – so desensitised they don’t even notice; Children – are learning.
Vaginas are for sale. The ultimate prize.
If we step away from prostitution and marketing and look away from our ‘developed’ world, we see that this dogma is sadly and tragically firmly rooted in our species’ psyche.
As I write this, it is highly probable that nearly 300 Nigerian girls are being sold off; making the hundreds of males who purchase them, very happy – some reports say for as little as $12 for each teenage girl.
We all know that once purchased, they’re only going to be treated in horrific ways – and just one of those ways will be to violate them repeatedly with a penis.
Sex: All Female; Race: All Black
So back to the earlier question – why not endorse prostitution and adultery?
Well, it seems that the only ones who take the opportunity of using their free right to speak their thoughts, think it’s all just simply terrific.
Following are some of the comments (just a snapshot) made on the Courier Mail FB page. There were hundreds of comments left and most are like the ones that follow. An interesting observation to note, is that the popular philosophy seems to be shared by both genders, either through ‘humour’ or gender stereotypes.
I find most of these answers disturbing and have highlighted some phrases.
Spelling mistakes are their own.
* People have to pay bills too, and whilst a legal brothel isn’t illegal, what’s wrong with it? If women feel there husband is cheating on them, find out why? Is it because you don’t put out, is it because your hubby is no longer physically attracted to you due to all that chocolate ladies desire so much or do you have just one too many headaches that you really should get attended to by your Dr? (m)
* Chuck in a smoke and you’ve got a deal (m)
* Get a life! Its one of the oldest professions world wide. If it wasnt for brothels allot of people world wide would have to result to there hand forever and would never get some booty staying a virgin till they die lol so chill out and dont be so negative about it. (m)
* It’s one of the oldest trades in history. Been around a lot longer than any other job. It’s going to be there forever so people may as well just accept it. At least they have a job and aren’t on the doll sapping the money from the state (f)
* I think if you make the money work for you by paying bills etc. Why not? It’s clean, and nothing wrong with it (f)
* If the availability of prostitutes can help to reduce the amount of rapes and attacks on women and children, then I’m all for it..! (m)
* I would have thought given the circumstances a sausage roll would be more apt ?? (f)
* Same (f): Munch is on me! + Gives new meaning to the HONEY IM JUST GOING DOWN THE SHOPS TO GET A PIE AND A COKE haha
* What a great marketing tool. Thinking outside the box !!!!! (f)
* Why are people so harsh on hookers, if it’s what they want to do for a living then leave them too it, it’s not like we live in Cambodia or Thailand where children are abused. As long as they’re adults and consenting, leave them alone! (m)
* Oh for god sakes you angry nasty sexually frustrated woman …get over yourselves . These woman are working and pose no threat to your relationships . The skanky home wrecking hoes you are so threatened by are actually at night clubs, pubs and facebook lol…and they give it up for free in the hope of stealing your worthless unfaithful man . Instead of a linch mob …why not host a few lingerie parties and learn how to satisfy and keep your man at home and between your sheets? Or get a man who is satisfied by what he has at home ..some men will never be faithful. (m)
* Gives new meaning to a ‘Happy Meal’ (f)
* Can you get fries with that? (f)
Responses: Do you mean ‘flies’? (m) + Thought lice would be more appropriate (m)
* “Crack” the daytime market. LMAO (m)
* It’s a job bet half those putting these women down gave it out for FREE before they became stiff housewives with self hate issues. IF your hubby is paying for it chances are you can keep him unlike with the tarty women who steal husbands. (f)
* ha ha, two Pies for the price of one (m)
Question #203: So do we still have nothing to worry about?
I don’t think so. I don’t think so.
I’ll leave you with a comment that I saw on FB in regards to this article:
‘While Sweden, Norway, Iceland and France move towards defining gender equality in a way that prohibits men buying women, our country is believing the lie of sex sellers and moving further and further towards normalising men’s entitlement to women’s bodies. It is not a human right to purchase or get sex, prostitution is exploitive and the sex trade is dehumanising.
Have we reduced the act of sex to a product and a woman to the wrapping?’
Deep Breath.
Why ‘the shoe on the other foot’ doesn’t work.
March 30, 2014
I have grappled with the issue of pitting and comparing the actions and/or adversities of one gender by using the other to illustrate, for a long time – but it simply does not sit right with me.
It is like comparing apples with oranges.
For the most part, I believe the intention is generally a positive one (which is a refreshing step toward good), but when perceptions and customs related to gender are so profoundly entrenched, it falls short of accurately addressing the deep-seeded issues of gender disparity.
Exhibit A:
This is a familiar visual representation that now seems to be common practice in highlighting gender-label ridiculousness – namely, a female’s.
There are two issues I have with this sort of juxtaposition:
1. Females have always been represented in this way – used as (sexual) ornaments. Males never have. So when we look at the females in the images, we see ‘normal’ and when we scan across to the males in similar poses, we see humour.
Steve Carell, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert recently did a photo shoot, emphasising the ludicrous poses females are encouraged to do:
Its intentions are admirable but – it’s not the same. It’s just funny.
That humour can (ultimately) also work negatively for the females they’re trying to help, by making them look stupid for participating in their own exploitation; for posing that way in the first place.
I recently saw a snippet of reality TV the other day – one that does renovations on houses. There was a moment where all the contestants had an impromptu dance-off, which lead to the inevitable circle where they strut their stuff in the middle. One of the women chose to be semi-provocative by doing some fetching grinding moves against her partner.
Next was a male. He also did a bit of a provocative dance. It was funny. Everyone laughed.
2. The biggest issue, however, is vulnerability.
When a female is posing sexually, she is vulnerable – her breasts may be practically exposed; she may be bending over something with a short skirt; she may be wearing impossible-to-walk-in-heels (not easy to escape anyone in high heels btw) – you follow my drift.
The males in these representations, however, are not vulnerable.
Their only place of vulnerability is their penis and that is (as always in this current paradigm) *fully* covered.
Everywhere; every time.
How ironic that we seem to find comfort in the male gender – dipped head high in privilege – outlining the woes of the ‘lesser’ gender. Double irony? In most cases it’s statistically males pushing females to pose this way in the first place.
OK, let’s turn the tables; in format as well as gender reversal.
Let’s look at how men are represented and doing the switch.
Exhibit B:
The image above is from the show, Beauty and the Geek. Never before have I witnessed such a blatantly sexist prime-time show; super-gluing more gender stereotypes to an already fragile equation.
Female = sexy, hot and DUMB;
Male = be who you want to be, you can still get a ‘hot’ female.
Can you imagine a show – heck, a REALITY – where we see females who are daggy/geeky/nerds of various body shapes, together with ‘hot’ males?
I can – but know it’s a concept that is (for the most part) a flash in the pan.
I remember through ads that Glee had a moment where an overweight girl was coupled with the hot football player.
I wonder how many people were genuinely comfortable watching that visual?
I say visual because that’s all ANY of this is based on.
It’s irrelevant whether personalities gel or if people have a profound connection, because ultimately that’s not the message that wants to get taught; there’s no money to be made, if females are secure within themselves, after all.
I intensely wish for a more equal and balanced playing field for females and the bottom line is that females are more than just being the packaging for males’ sexual fantasies.
Question #199: Isn’t this world ready – YET – to unlock the wonderful array of possibilities – just by getting past that horrifically limiting idea of females?
I’ll leave you to think.
My next post is my 200th Question.
Bring your thinking caps along.
Deep Breath.
x
Pass it on.
December 22, 2013
Does anyone remember the movie, Awakenings?
Based on a true story, Robert De Niro plays a patient – one of many – who is catatonic. They are all ‘awakened’ from their condition by a doctor (Robin Williams), testing a new drug which seemed to work…until it didn’t. I have this image in my head from the film, where De Niro’s character’s health is regressing and deteriorating; where the viciousness of his spasms cause his muscles to slowly seize, rendering them stiff and him catatonic, once again. (I cried for about half-an-hour after that movie ended, when I was at Uni. Head buried in a pillow.)
As of late, I’ve been experiencing moments where I feel mentally unable to move. The instances, and the related feelings that come with them, are happening a little bit more often as time passes.
I feel stiffened by the world – machine at work – people surrounding all of us and running the show. The drive to make excessive money – at all costs, regardless of who or what suffers – sickens me.
And it’s not just in the dark, underbelly of life – it’s disgustingly in government and big business; hand in hand; cutting more and more corners at our expense. There is no escape from it – the Internet makes sure of that, of course; with pictures and everything:
Atrocities being done to people – predominantly women and children;
Atrocities being done to animals;
Atrocities being done to the planet;
By Bullies.
Question #194: Where’s the outcry?
There are many ‘regular’ people out there – wonderful people with courage – driven to do something and speak up. A common way to raise awareness is by starting a petition. My heart aches to see the flow of terribly unjust issues going on and on out there; as they appear in my Newsfeeds and emails. It’s so deflating.
Helen Razer recently posted a piece about her refusal to sign petitions (amongst other actions) saying:
“If you just want me to sign your online petition, I will not sign it until you sign my online petition declaring that the purpose of online petitions is to draw attention to the fact that one has signed an online petition.”
I don’t agree with her comment above. I think there are many petitions out there that, with a big enough *outcry*, can (and do) create change.
But again – where is it?
I write here; I call things out and discuss different perspectives with the few who indulge me;
I share petitions calling for action – sometimes they work, but on the whole people stay mute; I also started a campaign with my friend Lily Munroe, to ‘Lose the Lads’ Mags’ and we’ve collected some great support from Collective Shout and awesome activists like Steve Biddulph. We have been just about ready to go for a few months now, but have been temporarily halted in the search for legal help. When we get going, a petition will be launched.
This is the juncture, where we seem to hit the wall.
Regardless of what action is taken – one still hits that wall of indifference…or hate.
The change that’s urgently needed for a more just existence for all, seems near impossible with our current paradigm – an overpopulated one – where Greed and the attainment of excessive money is far, far stronger – even (especially?) amongst our common populace.
So here I am – finding myself slowly stiffening, due to the lack of change for things we all know have to. As I look one way and see an injustice being called out, I read the vitriolic labels, clichés and criticisms that ooze out of trolls and the ignorant, through their comments – inherently saying, “Shhhhhhh….”
This post took me days to write and I nearly scrapped it all together. I feel like I’m getting repetitive – which is, in actual fact, the point; if it’s getting repetitive, then we have a problem, right? But ultimately, my posts are possibly causing the same reaction in you, that the cruel and grim realities of so very, very many of our own kind, are having on me.
So I’m stepping back from the blog for a mo’. I’m going to enjoy this holiday period with my family and wish the same for you.
A little more kindness – that’s what I’m pushing with my girls in how they treat each other.
The world is thirsty for it too.
I hope 2014 is the ‘Year of Action’ where we, the people, band together as a race and balance things out a bit. It’s getting hideous out there.
I still have a plethora of things to say but they’re just going to come, when they come.
In the meantime, there are nearly two years’ worth of posts on this blog, covering many an issue. I invite you to take a stroll back there – maybe even partake in a wee chat with me.
I wish you all a Christmas that is merry, safe and full of awesome!
Lots of love to you and your loved ones.
Pass it on.
Paula x
Deep Breath.
First game: Two unjust casualties.
December 8, 2013
In the play, Threepenny Opera by Bertolt Brecht, a corrupt character named Peachum starts his first stint on stage by looking directly at the audience and declaring the lines:
“Awake, you sinners, awake!”
That’s aimed at us – Society – one that ‘sins’ through its compliant silence.
Brecht was a political playwright who wanted people to watch his theatre with intellect and reason, and not be deceived by the lure and grip of emotion.
Ultimately, he wanted people to leave the theatre with a sense of recognising the ludicrous injustices (still) going on in the world and DO something – to leave the theatre:
AWAKE!
Question #193: What does it take to stir the depths of society’s moral and ethical compass?
Last night was the first game – here in Australia – of the US inspired, Lingerie Football League. This is an issue I have fiercely argued about in the past.
It is with continued disbelief that, in 2013, we actually have these poor women – desperate for ANY sort of respectful attention toward their sporting and physical prowess – play with (essentially) virtually exposed breasts.
The image below is from the US league.
I shudder to imagine the soreness and pain their breasts must feel, if that’s what they run in (no support) and smash into each other with.
Nope. Shaking my head. Gobsmacked.
AWAKE!
Women’s sport is virtually ignored.
Our screens are a deluge of men’s sport, 90% male commentary and male worship.
In David Penberthy’s article – Lingerie League an Insult to Sport and Channel 7 – he writes:
“It is pretty weird that at a time when our cricketers couldn’t buy a win, and were making headlines instead for being sent home after refusing to do their homework or decking a Pommy batsman in the small hours at an English pub, our women cricketers were quietly going about the business of becoming world champions, again.
Couldn’t name one of them.”
That’s the crux.
We don’t see women’s sport…unless they’re in their underwear?
Sexism. Pure sexism.
Last night the Lingerie Football League claimed two victims.
Victim #1: Tahina Booth (pictured above), was taken away by ambulance due to injury. One person on Twitter said she appeared in agony for a while before the ambulance arrived.
The following was Tahina’s response to a question from Andrew Webster from the Sydney Morning Herald:
There are a lot of critics of this sport. I have my own doubts. What would you say to them?
“I understand. I have a complex with the uniform. I don’t like it, and it’s not practical. But when you look at it, there are masses of people coming to watch … they realise it’s not for fun and these girls aren’t taking it lightly. A lot of feminists have told me I’m a disgrace. I tell them that I’m doing this for an opportunity. I work so hard, it’s cost me so much money. I just want to be the best I can be.” *
How sad that here in Australia, women athletes like Tahina are simply not respected. That her ‘opportunity’ can only come from a form of undress. This is sexism at its purest.
The LFL responded today about her ‘injury’, stating she was merely dehydrated.
I sincerely hope that’s all it was.
Victim #2: Randy Perret – father to one of the players – wrote the following apology to Collective Shout, when his daughter was deemed ‘too fat’ to play, ON GAME DAY:
“I wish to apologise for the comments have posted lately regarding the LFL in Australia. i have known of Mitchell Mortaza and his reputation within the States but thought that maybe with a fresh start in Australia he may change his ways. Wrong. My 18 year old daughter has been told that she has to “lean out” to wear the uniform. That’s right. So yes LFL is all about how the girls look not how well they play the game. So now I have my 18 year old daughter down in NSW, shattered emotionally because at the last minute she has been told that she is too ‘fat’ to play his game. Send me any petitions you like and will gladly sign them. Also please forward any contacts as I wish to fight this all the way. We can not have our young girls thinking that you need to be skinny to play any sport in this country.”
She had already spent money on getting the prerequisite spray tan before the game.
Spray tan. Any Australian male footballers putting on their obligatory spray tan before a game?
No – the female athletes of Australia are not being respected. In this case, they are (mundanely) being exploited for their physical appearance. The fact that the audience is predominantly there for titillation through accidental nudity (something in the girls’ clause to play), is a truly sad indictment of our current paradigm.
Awake.
Deep Breath.
x
What we’re watching…over and over and over again.
November 28, 2013
It has recently become more painfully apparent, that there is a common thread to what we consume when watching a screen – whether large or small.
Stories of boys and men. Males.
Please understand that I have no problem whatsoever with these kinds of stories – many of my favourite movies fall in this category – but over the last 10 years, it’s become a tad tedious.
Endless stories of boys coming of age – men fulfilling their destinies – older man taking younger man/teen/boy under his wing etc. etc. etc.
But where’s the female equivalent?
I recently asked my husband why he doesn’t watch women’s sport and he answered: “I only want to watch the best.”
I was dubious of this answer because I thought: ‘Women are the best of their sports too.’ To explain, he used a sport he doesn’t watch – Boxing. He said that if he were to watch a boxing match, he wouldn’t watch a featherweight fight, he’d want to watch the biggest and strongest men battling it out. The best.
I actually understood. I even think most people would agree with that logic.
OK. Soooo…
Question #192: What do we worship about women on an equal level?
And it IS worship. Sportsmen with flames superimposed behind them on TV snippets, slow motion footage, both males and females equally celebrating them and what they do. Worship.
If men are physically strong and we honour that about them – what do we honour about women?
We can’t have a world where one half of our human race is continually watched, nurtured and guided to feel they can achieve ANYTHING and not have that same respect for the other half.
But that’s exactly what we have.
So what is there? I asked this of my husband but he had no answer or chose not to.
The only thing I can think of – is porn; there is nothing else.
Now, let’s have a squiz at what’s happening up on the movie screen.
The Bechdel Test comes from a cartoon strip by Alison Bechdel from 1985, in which ‘The Rule’ for evaluating films was explained:
In order to pass, the film or show must meet the following criteria:
- It includes at least two women;
(Some make the addendum that the women must be named characters)
- who have at least one conversation;
(Because of quibbles regarding what length of time makes a valid conversation, some have proposed the addendum that it last at least 60 seconds)
- about something other than a man or men.
(The exact interpretation of this can vary; some feel that it’s okay to mention a man or men so long as they’re not the primary subject of the conversation, while others will demand a conversation where men aren’t mentioned at all. Some make the addendum that the conversation also cannot reference marriage, babies, or romance)*
Most films – sadly – fail this test.
Have a look for yourself. TV shows too.
In her 1929 essay A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf wrote what she observed in regards to the literature of her time:
‘All these relationships between women, I thought, rapidly recalling the splendid gallery of fictitious women, are too simple. So much has been left out, unattempted. And I tried to remember any case in the course of my reading where two women are represented as friends. They are now and then mothers and daughters. But almost without exception they are shown in their relation to men. It was strange to think that all the great women of fiction were, until Jane Austen’s day, not only seen by the other sex, but seen only in relation to the other sex. And how small a part of a woman’s life is that; and how little can a man know even of that when he observes it through the black or rosy spectacles which sex puts upon his nose.’
How fascinating…and depressing.
Nothing. Changes.
So what is it with us?
Why do we find it so hard to watch women in equal (but different) representation to men and boys?
Deep Breath.
x
* http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/TheBechdelTest?from=Main.TheBechdelTest
How I see Malala.
October 13, 2013
I’m finding my mind swimming – literally swimming – with thoughts and perceptions that I want to articulate in a coherent and succinct manner. But there are so many and sometimes it just doesn’t help that I want to shout and use a shit-load of profanity.
I’m getting so weary and disappointed at our microscopically slow pace of change, that I have this to say:
One important lesson to gain from Malala (not the obvious one).
Yesterday I read an article that had a great impact on me.
It says:
This is a story of a native girl being saved by the white man. Flown to the UK, the Western world can feel good about itself as they save the native woman from the savage men of her home nation. It is a historic racist narrative that has been institutionalised. Journalists and politicians were falling over themselves to report and comment on the case. The story of an innocent brown child that was shot by savages for demanding an education and along comes the knight in shining armour to save her.
The actions of the West, the bombings, the occupations the wars all seem justified now, “see, we told you, this is why we intervene to save the natives.”
I agree. It practically looks like a PR stunt and I don’t like that Malala looks like she’s being used as a pawn in this seemingly deceptive agenda.
I also agree that there are A LOT more Malalas out there.
But this is the point where I want to deflect and add something important.
It’s not just that these girls need urgent saving – and they absolutely do – the motivation that has to power the movement of change, is the realisation that:
This world NEEDS girls and women like Malala.
It’s the missing ingredient for things to improve.
Girls and women.
NOT to take over. Equal representation.
If women – according to the Patriarchy – are supposedly the nurturers and carers, then the question shouldn’t be, ‘What have we got to lose?’ (because the only answer is money) but:
Question #187: What have we got to gain?
Simply, I think a great, great deal of good.
When are we going to evolve?
Don’t we want a happy planet for all, instead of this realm of greed, despair, rage and destruction?
I just want to finish by saying, that I think Malala is astonishing. A true hero. An inspiration.
I don’t care in the foggiest that the western world has made a big fuss about her – she absolutely deserves our full attention.
What a wonder she is.
Now let’s WAKE UP and channel that toward educating our children – in schools and at home – by teaching them to be the cogs of change.
Our youth is the answer – with our guidance.
If you’re thinking that you’ll give it a try (which would be awesome) – I would also like to respond with the famous words of Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back:
“Do or do not; there is no try.”
What are you going to do?
Something.
Anything. However small.
We must start to act as a collective.
Deep Breath.
x
Question #179: So, what is it about the penis exactly?
August 25, 2013
I have to say that this is one of those conundrums for me.
In my quest to continually question the imbalance of our existence – I wanted to explore why we continue to shroud this illusive appendage in such an opposing way to women’s objectification.
I was listening to Triple J the other morning and comedian Wil Anderson was on the radio.
He was discussing the rule with men – that you never look at another man’s penis whilst at the urinal.
OK I get that. It would be an invasion of privacy.
But it just made me wonder – what’s the big hoo-ha about the penis, anyway?
Why all the mystery?
At the beach last summer, I saw quite a few three-quarter length board shorts being worn – protecting its owners from exposing even the hint of a bulge.
No more speedos anymore. No sir-ee.
Why?
Is it to hide its size?
Or protect boys and men from the gaze of other men?
Is that something that’s feared?
Surely if it were for the gaze of women, there wouldn’t be a problem…right?
I know it’s the fashion at the beach – but you can’t disagree with the juxtaposition; that men seem to be more and more covered, whilst women are more and more exposed.
And not just on the beach.
In the movies – for example – we NEVER see the penis.
Why are men afforded such privacy?
Why are women not?
We have fully naked women on the screens (the big screen as well as the smallest) and yet it doesn’t matter how much time passes – how much we ‘evolve’ – the penis remains mystically cloaked from human gaze.
It must be nice to know – if you’re male and in the movie industry – that you’ll never have to make that choice, whether to have your penis filmed or not.
Ever.
Men are not vulnerable; like women are vulnerable.
And a man’s vulnerability – it seems – is his penis.
A woman’s? Her near or complete nudity.
The second issue I have with the penis, is its massive (no un intended) irony.
As much as it is used and wielded as a weapon throughout the world and is seen as the symbol of manhood – it is also a man’s Achilles Heel, so to speak – is it not?
As Betty White says:
“Why do people say,
‘Grow some balls’?
Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you wanna be tough,
Grow a vagina.
Those things can take a pounding.”
Is this post an attack on manhood?
No – it is not.
Do I want to see penises plastered all over our screens?
No – but there shouldn’t be a Holier-than-thou style, cover-up either.
A penis is just a penis.
Or is it?
So, I ask again – what’s the big deal?
Questions for Us 