Questions for Us

I want you to come on a small journey and see some of the ‘demons’ I face with my appearance – being a woman.

Sometimes when I’m on the phone, I have to escape the kids and hide away in my bedroom – to be able to have a conversation in peace –“Muuuuumm”. Many times, I catch sight of myself in my bedroom mirror, and when the lighting is juuust right…I see a crone.  Yep, a crone. *recoil and scrunch up face – stop it, that’s more lines!*

When did I get so old? Let’s see what other things I see…

Now, I have good legs – but what’s that droopy sort of skin above each knee that seems to want to start heading south all of a sudden? Is there any such thing as a knee lift? *smirk* I would never get one – but was actually wondering…

I’ve had humans exit my body – as most women I know have – and we all have to carry around that lovely added extra around the stomach. Like growing said human and have it come out, wasn’t ‘reward’ enough! And who can forget that charming phrase “muffin top”, that seemed to be a regular word tossed around at Mothers’ Group. Are guys refered to as having muffin tops?

“Nine months to put on, nine months to take off, ladies!” Jeez, the pressure! I always felt a secret resentment of any article that pointed out how quickly a star took off the baby weight, 10 minutes after giving birth, stating the marvels of breast feeding. What-EVA! She who has a personal trainer and chef at their disposal. My first baby sucked my milk like a crazy person and it actually made me eat MORE, than when I was actually pregnant…couldn’t help it…my body thought I was still eating for two. I felt jipped.

There’s the little flap of skin that’s appeared under my chin. Has anyone else got that? How quickly is that one going to progress? I don’t want to look like turkey anytime soon, thank you very much…and yet – there it is.

Boobs. What can I say. I remember watching the series, ‘Mad About You’ (loved that show) and there was this great sequence of scenes, when the lead character, Jamie, was in labour. All the women in her life were sitting in her hospital room with her, as her husband wasn’t there yet. They were giving out advice when the issue of breasts came up. Her mother said to her, “You’ll be fuller breasted, dear.” She nods. Her sister-in-law then states factually, “Yes, but eventually they look like a couple of empty gym socks.” Hahaha! Classic. Well, I won’t say mine are a couple of empty gym socks just yet, but they do like to look at my feet more often – when ‘unassisted’. *wink*

Finally, my hair. I’ve had long hair my whole adult life, but an accident at the hairdressers saw that change a few months ago. I went in for a trim with a few long layers. What actually happened was my hair ended up being hacked with a plethora of instruments, including a razor, and ended up looking like Carol Brady with a mullet. So bad. The only solution was to cut off the mullet – and ended up with short hair. I don’t mind it BUT I didn’t want to look like a woman who had made that, “Oh, I’m over forty now, so I better cut a mummy haircut”, decision. Plus it looks the same every day. I miss my ponytail. But then, everyone has long hair. Do I grow it?

So here’s my comparison with guys – I’m pretty sure they don’t agonise over their appearance as much as we do, because we love them anyway. They can put on weight, lose their hair, get very wrinkley – it’s the common image in the media – men can look however they like and will always be accepted.

And our guys love us too, when we start to get out of shape and grow older – don’t they? I guess that on the whole they do, BUT I know of a few stories within my circle of friends where the male partner has left, for a younger woman. If I know a few – surely you know a few. Therefore, is it more common than we think? Can we say the same of women who leave their men for younger versions? Probably not. I think that, even though I can look good for my age – a younger guy would see the middle-aged oldie I really am.

Hey, that’s OK – I don’t need that validation from younger men – as I’m sure you don’t either (only women in the public eye seem to be butchering themselves to look ‘younger’) – but what is it with us?

Question #16: Why are women SO obsessed with looking younger? Can’t we just reward each other for looking the best we can for our age?