Questions for Us

Looks like the last post hit a nerve with a lot of you…and there’s still so much more to explore.

A few years ago I set up a business (now on the back burner) and named it, “Deep Breath.” It was aimed at helping teens find more of an inner calm about the curve balls they (we) all pretty much get, throughout our lives. But we can respond, instead of react, to these obstacles. Something that’s easier said than done – with a lot of us – due to deeply entrenched behaviours and beliefs.

Many years ago, I went to one of those motivational courses and was amazed at how they got everyone SO ‘hyped’ up, chopping boards with your hands etc etc; where you find yourself leaving, full of adrenaline and ideas of how you’re going to turn things around in your life – to then arrive home, step through the door aaand straight back into ‘same-old, same-old.’ It was not long after that, that I started my small venture, with the opposite as its title – Deep Breath.

When you take a deep breath, you calm yourself. It’s a teeny, mini-meditation. Every time. There’s a saying – ‘When emotion goes up; Intelligence goes down.’ A lot of us are living in our emotions and we’re not stopping, taking a deep breath and thinking.

We are so intelligent, so why are we stuck?

A few of you left some comments from the last posting (these are some snippets):

Joy wrote: We live at levels beyond our years and possibly our means. We are geared to lives that have no let up. A return to less in everything is the key hard though it is.

Michelle wrote: (haven’t written because of) additional and unsustainable load of chaos for the last 2 months.

Christine wrote: how ridiculous I was….doing three things at once…. Trying to cram it all in while I had the chance.

We seem to be feeling this pressure, mainly at home, because that’s the time you’re together – as a couple –  exploring a relationship and the life that comes with it. This home life should be shared – but generally isn’t. So why isn’t it equal in the home?

Question #23: Are we allowing men to take a back seat?

A colleague of mine is currently teaching her Advanced Yr 11 English class the following poem. I’m not a massive poetry fan (yes, even though I have taught quite a bit of English – it’s my least favourite form), but I did find it incredible that my colleague happened to mention this poem on International Women’s Day – one that so wonderfully encompasses what this post is about. The poem is by Aussie, Bruce Dawe and it was written in 1969…

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up the wall

The kettle’s plainsong rises to a shriek,

The saucepan milk is always on the boil,

No week-end comes to mark off any week

From any other – something’s sure to spoil

The cloudless day. The talk-back oracle’s suave

Spiel, like the horizon, closes in,

Palming a hidden menace, children carve

The mind up with the scalpels of their din.

She says, “They nearly drove me up the wall!”

She says, “I could have screamed, and then the phone–!”

She says, “There’s no-one round here I can call

If something should go wrong. I’m so alone!”

“It’s a quiet neighbourhood,” he tells his friends.

“Too quiet, almost!” They laugh. The matter ends.

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Can any of you relate to this poem?

Everything’s going on at once – the weeks and weekends blend together – the children’s noise is like a scalpel to the mind. She loudly voices her concerns.

The man talks of the quiet. He and his friends laugh…and the matter is closed.

I’m not suggesting that this is the only experience women have with their partners and children…but it’s not an uncommon feeling, is it?

To not be listened to or heard?

Deep breath.

If the poem is not your cup of tea (well, even if it is), the following 35 sec link puts a humorous spin to a situation we all know toooo well. *smiling, while shaking my head* (Just ignore the ad at the end – it was the best link I could find):

A writer named Ronna Detrick, has a post which suggests that there are parts of a woman’s life that are lived ambiguity. She says:

“Being a strong woman means that no matter what the ambiguity is about, that we still speak the truth; that we do not temper our words or our deepest emotions just to make someone else feel comfortable. That we speak kindly, graciously, winsomely – and honestly.”

So what can you do, to alleviate the amount of ‘work’ going on in your life – both mentally and physically? Does he need to step up?

Deep breath.