Mothers’ Day.

May 13, 2012

Here’s to you.

Here’s to Us.

To the lives and households we run;

To the families we are raising – teaching – guiding…

…the same families who drive us insane!

1. FOOD – We think about what everyone will eat – all. the. time.

  • What needs to be done:  *Write shopping list, *Do shopping, *Put away shopping, *Cook, *Bear 2.7 questions an hour from children about what they can eat, *Organise food for meals and snacks whenever outside the home…etc.

2. APPEARANCES – We worry about the state of our family’s clothing and general grooming issues.

  • What needs to be done: * Remind children to put dirty clothes IN the basket *Soak clothes, *Wash clothes, *Hang clothes, *Bring in clothes off the line, *Iron clothes, *Take clothes to corresponding rooms, *Go shopping for clothes, *Shower/Bath routines, *Hair Brushing, *Finger and Toe nail appearances…etc.

3. CHILDREN – 24/7.

  • What needs to be done: *Remember…EVERYTHING, *Continually Repeat All Instructions/Statements…over and over again, *School Matters – Sign notes + know what days Library Day/Sports’ Uniform Day fall on, *Coordinate dropping off and picking up from Day Care/School, *Organise Holiday activities and playdates *Doctors’ appointments, *Sickness…etc. etc. etc.

4. BED-TIME ROUTINE – Yes, it’s a dot point on its own!

  • What needs to be done: *Remind children of their expected routine – with 5 minute reminders, *Be prepared to be asked to listen to something REALLY important, at this time; every night – it goes something like this, “Muuuum?” “What.” “Can I tell you something?” “Go to bed.” “Pleeaaasse?” “What.” “Uuuuummm….”, *Have about an average of three things each child has ‘forgotten’ to do, that comes to mind at this time of the night…etc.  ._.

5. LOVE LIFE – We worry about our relationships with our partners.

  • What needs to be done: *Well, every relationship is different – you know what you do.

6. WORK – A juggling and balancing act.

  • What needs to be done: *Aaah…Juggle and Balance – whether full-time, part-time, job-sharing, casual, shift-work  – it’s another complicated job.

7. TIME FOR YOU – Few and far between.

  • What needs to be done: *Find time! Really. Get out and have time away from it all – even for a little while…I’ll babysit for you!

8. ETC. ETC. ETC. – Everything Else.

For all these areas, there is help – some mothers get more; some less – but everything is ALWAYS a part of a mum’s thoughts.

And the quality that weaves through all of us is:

Strength.

I think what we do as mothers is simply gob-smacking.

It’s the toughest gig there is – but when those windows of sun and wonderfulness bathe us…well, we understand the why; enough to keep going onwards.

I only hear stories of what’s ahead and it sounds like this ride never eases up – bring it, I say!

I salute you all.

Mothers of all ages.

All my Love.

x

This post is dedicated to my mum. Un beso grande, Mamá.

Deep Breath

March 10, 2012

Looks like the last post hit a nerve with a lot of you…and there’s still so much more to explore.

A few years ago I set up a business (now on the back burner) and named it, “Deep Breath.” It was aimed at helping teens find more of an inner calm about the curve balls they (we) all pretty much get, throughout our lives. But we can respond, instead of react, to these obstacles. Something that’s easier said than done – with a lot of us – due to deeply entrenched behaviours and beliefs.

Many years ago, I went to one of those motivational courses and was amazed at how they got everyone SO ‘hyped’ up, chopping boards with your hands etc etc; where you find yourself leaving, full of adrenaline and ideas of how you’re going to turn things around in your life – to then arrive home, step through the door aaand straight back into ‘same-old, same-old.’ It was not long after that, that I started my small venture, with the opposite as its title – Deep Breath.

When you take a deep breath, you calm yourself. It’s a teeny, mini-meditation. Every time. There’s a saying – ‘When emotion goes up; Intelligence goes down.’ A lot of us are living in our emotions and we’re not stopping, taking a deep breath and thinking.

We are so intelligent, so why are we stuck?

A few of you left some comments from the last posting (these are some snippets):

Joy wrote: We live at levels beyond our years and possibly our means. We are geared to lives that have no let up. A return to less in everything is the key hard though it is.

Michelle wrote: (haven’t written because of) additional and unsustainable load of chaos for the last 2 months.

Christine wrote: how ridiculous I was….doing three things at once…. Trying to cram it all in while I had the chance.

We seem to be feeling this pressure, mainly at home, because that’s the time you’re together – as a couple –  exploring a relationship and the life that comes with it. This home life should be shared – but generally isn’t. So why isn’t it equal in the home?

Question #23: Are we allowing men to take a back seat?

A colleague of mine is currently teaching her Advanced Yr 11 English class the following poem. I’m not a massive poetry fan (yes, even though I have taught quite a bit of English – it’s my least favourite form), but I did find it incredible that my colleague happened to mention this poem on International Women’s Day – one that so wonderfully encompasses what this post is about. The poem is by Aussie, Bruce Dawe and it was written in 1969…

——————————————————————-

up the wall

The kettle’s plainsong rises to a shriek,

The saucepan milk is always on the boil,

No week-end comes to mark off any week

From any other – something’s sure to spoil

The cloudless day. The talk-back oracle’s suave

Spiel, like the horizon, closes in,

Palming a hidden menace, children carve

The mind up with the scalpels of their din.

She says, “They nearly drove me up the wall!”

She says, “I could have screamed, and then the phone–!”

She says, “There’s no-one round here I can call

If something should go wrong. I’m so alone!”

“It’s a quiet neighbourhood,” he tells his friends.

“Too quiet, almost!” They laugh. The matter ends.

————————————————————————-

Can any of you relate to this poem?

Everything’s going on at once – the weeks and weekends blend together – the children’s noise is like a scalpel to the mind. She loudly voices her concerns.

The man talks of the quiet. He and his friends laugh…and the matter is closed.

I’m not suggesting that this is the only experience women have with their partners and children…but it’s not an uncommon feeling, is it?

To not be listened to or heard?

Deep breath.

If the poem is not your cup of tea (well, even if it is), the following 35 sec link puts a humorous spin to a situation we all know toooo well. *smiling, while shaking my head* (Just ignore the ad at the end – it was the best link I could find):


A writer named Ronna Detrick, has a post which suggests that there are parts of a woman’s life that are lived ambiguity. She says:

“Being a strong woman means that no matter what the ambiguity is about, that we still speak the truth; that we do not temper our words or our deepest emotions just to make someone else feel comfortable. That we speak kindly, graciously, winsomely – and honestly.”

So what can you do, to alleviate the amount of ‘work’ going on in your life – both mentally and physically? Does he need to step up?

Deep breath.