I saw it with my own eyes…

April 23, 2012

As I previously mentioned, yesterday was my wedding anniversary – 11 years. Hubby and I decided to have a night in the city, staying overnight in a hotel – possible, thanks to my mum, the overnight babysitter. *very grateful*

After we had dinner in our favourite Spanish restaurant in Liverpool Street, we decided to walk down George Street down to a popular nightclub for a boogie, whilst checking out the city streets of Sydney.

Well, that one kilometre (two-thirds of a mile) walk – as well as inside the nightclub – was certainly an eye-opener. I know that I’ve discussed this at length with you all before, but there’s nothing like seeing things for yourself…it’s quite depressing…

Just about every girl – I would say about 75% – looked EXACTLY the same. I reeeally wanted to take photos of them – but didn’t, so as to respect the girls’ privacy. Ironic, isn’t it? That I care more about respecting them, than they do for themselves…

So I just got on the Net and looked up ‘going-out clothes’ to get an image. The army / flock / plethora of girls I saw everywhere – looked something like this:

(Classic, that this first image uses the word ‘Unique’…)

It was wave after wave of short, short dresses – platform heels of varying colours and height (from high to ridiculously high) – fake tans and boobs out.

I saw many girls struggling to walk in their shoes – but hey, I know that we’ve always had to battle that. These platforms, however, (that we used to refer as pole-dancers’ shoes) are something else.

The thing that saddened me, was seeing the many girls who simply looked awkward – constantly pulling down the dresses that were just barely covering their underpants – the ones who are wearing what they’re supposed to, because all their friends are wearing the same.

As I was walking with my husband, a hetero-male in a sea of ‘easy’, I said to him – “If you were a young man, you’d have countless women to pick from. Who would you pick? (this was a rhetorical question, of course *wink*)

So it’s girls upon girls, groups upon groups – all sending the exact same message – “PICK ME!! PICK ME!! Because I’ll show you the best time.” If that’s not the message, what is it? Actually, it’s irrelevant what girls think it means because that’s the only message the guys are receiving – crystal clear.

The funny thing is that both Hubby and I noticed that it didn’t seem to really matter what the guy looked like – we saw daggy guys, short guys, metero-sexuals etc.etc. – basically a lovely collection of them …with the same type of girl described above… How lucky guys are, to have next to zero pressure about what to wear out – in complete and total comfort – jeans/pants; shirt/t-shirt; flat shoes.

Question #34: Why is this look so important for these young women? Don’t they want to be unique?

I’d looove to hear from anyone who can answer this. No judgement – just a conversation.

The thing is that I’m sure most of these girls go home without having been ‘chosen.’ What then?

WHAT THEN? Little less clothing next time?

So sad and YES…I believe women have gone backwards with the current youth culture. How do we help them?

To tie with the last few posts – I believe EVERYONE on this planet is deserving of wonderful and loving partnerships – if that’s what they want. But when it comes to these young women; until they have the strength and courage to step out and be completely themselves – how is a well-matched guy going to ‘see’ them through the fake clutter?

Deep Breath.


PS It’s back to teaching young minds tomorrow *wink*, so the posts might come a teeny less often – even though I wish I could write every day!

Love to you all. *big smile*

7 Responses to “I saw it with my own eyes…”

  1. I’m sorry but I find your assumption that based on a womans clothing choice a man is in ‘a sea of easy’ to be pretty damn disturbing. I disagree that we are going backwards. I actually think we have gone much further than peple realise. I don’t think that girls wearing short skirts or dresses is a *pick me* situation at all, in fact most wear them simply because they are in style not because they want to be picked by a man. I think as well part of the reason women wear such revealing clothes is because we can now, we have reached a stage where we have a right to wear revealing clothes and be in charge of our own bodies, there shouldn’t be anything shameful in wearing something flattering for your body, and I really don’t understand what you mean by girls looking the same while boys all look different, as far as I can tell when it comes to clothes men have a far smaller variety of choice than women. Not to mention your assumption that men only hear *pick me*. Women should be able to wear exactly what the want to without getting criticised, and for some women this is a way they show themselves, it may not be your idea of individulaity, but don’t just assume they are *only* following the crowd.

    • questionsforwomen said

      Thank you SO much for your comment. I appreciate your perspective and agree to a certain degree – I just don’t know if this is the right ‘road’ to gain our true equality.
      I responded to your comments in my next post, as I thought what you said was really valid and the way many women feel.
      Thanks heaps. *big smile*

  2. Martie said

    What do they do in winter??!! Brrrr

    • questionsforwomen said

      I think it’s the same…except with a coat. *wink*
      It’s like the girls who wear uggies in summer and thongs in winter. What the?

      • Martie Eaton said

        Makes me so glad that our ‘dress code’ was boots, jeans and a tweed jacket that I’d “borrowed” from my grandad!

  3. I’ve always thought the club scene clothing was kind of boring. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wearing something provactive or revealing, but it does all look the same! Same tight short dresses, same high heels. At the very least, I wish women would mix it up a bit and show a bit of personality with a different style of dress, skirts or shoes, because I find the club wear to just be generic “sex”. It is like a “pick me” situation, except it seems like women are only marketed one way to be picked, the formulaic tight dress and high heels.
    I know when I dressed up like this at clubs, I always felt insecure. One, because those clothes just are really not danceable or comfortable, so you are kind of restricted in movement and are in a position to just be looked at, and two, because even though I looked beautiful, so did everyone else, in the exact same way. There was no way to really distinguish one woman from the other, no individuality or expression in the clothing, hardly any ability to dance and have fun, which leads to nitpicking over the tiniest details (her boobs are a cup bigger than mine, but my stomach is an inch flatter, so am I hotter? Is she hotter?). I think ladies owe themselves more. We should take our clothing to be more of an expression of ourselves and feel confident that we are sexy because we are unique, rather than we are sexy because we have more skin showing or look better in a dress than the girl next to us. There’s nothing wrong with these clothes themselves, but having every woman in the club wear the same exact, hyper-sexualized style just turns it into a meat market.

    • questionsforwomen said

      Yes, Chelsey! Yes! You have hit the nail on the head. I hope it’s clear that I also have NO problem, whatsoever, with short skirts or high heels etc. per say – it’s just this same look, over and over again. And you’re absolutely right that women start nit-picking amongst each other about their ‘flaws’ – where (ironically) the guy doesn’t notice any of that. He’ll just see the ‘oceans’ of similar, hyper-sexualised girls and think, “Sweet.”
      It just goes to show that even when women do look ‘beautiful’, they are still insecure…and ironically look for validation from guys.
      Thanks so much for your comment – it’s great.

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