A serious double whammy.

September 8, 2012

The United States continues to be in the throes of debate…and all over women’s bodies. Again. With men in politics voicing their opinions about women’s bodies. Again.

They seem to be in a political fervour and the latest CORKER comes from a Republican named Todd Akin.

In the article Todd Akin, what exactly is ‘legitimate’ rape?”, Akin is quoted, in his attempt to fortify his anti-abortion stance, as saying:

“It seems to me first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”


When we find ourselves turning to a panel consisting of a majority of men, to determine the rules as to what women are allowed to do with their bodies – there’s something terribly wrong.

At the start of the year, I went to see Eve Ensler speak and she had this to say to Akin:

Dear Mr Akin, I want you to imagine…

If I can add a little spin of black humour to all this, watch the following clip:

Although we may laugh – it simply allows us to cover over how despondent we truly feel.

Now. What do I think about rape.

I know that the majority of women have either experienced rape, sexual assault, inappropriate touching and a gazillion other situations. The fact that the stories are literally ENDLESS has to say something about our culture. OK, so it’s not a new phenomenon, BUT you cannot deny that the representation of sex in the media and the saturation of porn, is having an ever more detrimental effect on our developing youth. The cases of rape to girls under the age of 12 is staggering – the film Miss Representation put the percentage at 15%.

I recently spoke to a male parent I know and he said he had to throw out a game his teenage son was playing (which he attained from another male friend) – where you got bonus points for rape.

BONUS POINTS FOR RAPE. It made me feel sick when he told me…as well as so helpless for our kids. I’ll be honest, there’s a tinge of despair as well.

1 in 6 have experienced rape or attempted rape. I am one of the 1 in 6 (attempted).

I had a guy I had not even spoken to at a university party, follow me to my college room – chit-chatting on the way. I used to collect Coke bottles and memorabilia and he feigned an interest, walked into my room and locked the door behind him. He told me that it would just take a second and that he didn’t want to have to get rough. I knew that I wasn’t a match physically, so I acted like it would be great, but that I wasn’t feeling up to it. He pushed me down on my bed by the neck a few times as well as try to take off my top. Luckily for me, I managed to get out into the corridor where he got (verbally) very angry, but we were out in the open, so I was spared.

I have never been more terrified. Just because he didn’t actually rape me, doesn’t mean that I didn’t experience pure panic inside.

But you know what? When word got around, people started to take sides – because he was a ‘nice guy’. I hadn’t even spoken to him at the college party – not a word. And yet, judgement was made against me.


Enough judgement.

Question #88: Why isn’t more being done to STOP rape – rather than working out what is or isn’t classified as rape; or what the woman did or didn’t do?

I read a phrase that says – “Don’t compare your life to others; you have no idea what their journey is all about.”

Which brings me to other point in this debate – abortion.

It’s none of my business what a woman decides for herself. I DONT KNOW HER STORY OR SITUATION. If we are so naive as to think that the majority of women take the decision lightly – then we’re believing an illusion that’s been fabricated.

The majority of women who have abortions are already mothers, who simply cannot support another child.

I have seen teen girls overseas begging on the streets because they can’t afford the child they (may) have been forced to keep. Is this child really going to be the next Einstein? Or is it more likely that it will live a life of misery, abuse and/or poverty?

“Every woman should be empowered and have the right to determine when she wants to have a child. The right to own her future and provide for her children’s futures. The right to participate freely and equally in society.” (via UPWORTHY)

The bottom line for me is this:

Question #89: What about the WOMAN’S life? (the one that’s already established)

But in terms of The United States and their heavy anti-abortion stance, it’s curious – as my friend Jane said to me – that for a country that’s so pro-life, they are also pro-guns and pro-war. (Not ALL of course, it just how they’re perceived). I’ve always seen it as absurd and surreal, that anti-abortionists, want – and do at times – kill doctors…

*shaking my lowered, saddened head*

Deep Breath.


4 Responses to “A serious double whammy.”

  1. Harls said

    No argument from me Paula (for once!) Todd Akin is an oxygen thief and a disgrace. Those particular types of religious nutters are also a disgrace and their behaviour and beliefs are amongst the most non-Christian one could come across which makes them hypocrites of the highest order. These issues are very real and make real men sick to their stomachs.
    You’re brave to share that personal story.
    Respect x

    • questionsforwomen said

      I’ve missed you, Harley!
      I know we have a lot of men on our side with this – unfortunately, a lot of them seem missing in the political realm (of the United States, most definitely).
      Thank you so much. x

  2. Harls said

    That piece by Eve Ensler, particularly the part about a woman seeing her rapist in her baby’s face, made me think of an analogy: an embryo is a blueprint for a human, but is not yet a human. Comparing the removal of such an unwanted blueprint, to murder, is like comparing tearing up a plan for a beautiful house, to taking a wrecking ball to a beautiful house.

    • questionsforwomen said

      That. Is. It. Perfectly explained…in my view, Harley.
      I wrote an extended response to this, as a post.
      Thank you so much for that analogy. It’s wonderful.
      Paula x

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