Just to clarify from my last post. Rape Culture #2.

December 30, 2012

Two women left great comments, in response to the previous post about Rape Culture.

I would like to address two of the points made by these women.

1. lamehousewife was suggesting that the ad on the bus is a reflection of the type of women the priest was talking about.

I agree.

Throughout my posts, I have always made a strong point (I hope) on the massive contribution women are making to the problems they face in this patriarchal society. Ads, like the one on the back of the bus, can only exist with a woman’s consent.

Without women agreeing to normalise this hyper-sexualised, fickle, fake image of womanhood – we have little chance of attaining any sort of equality amongst this man’s world.

However, I AM about balance and the point of my last post was simply that the solution/solving conversations that make the papers, are about what women have to do to stop the Rape Culture.

But what about the guys/men? The ones COMMITTING the crime?


Most of the time, it has nothing to do with what a woman wears. A lot of the time it can be a family member, raping a daughter/niece…or she didn’t do as she was told…or she looks like his mother and he hates his mother…etc. etc. etc.

I’m sure I (we) could find a gazillion reasons why so many men rape women…but the only common denominator, is that it’s men inflicting violence against women on an unprecedented and global scale.

As I said in my response, there is currently heated discussion at the prevalence of males being behind mass shootings, like the recent ones in the United States. Well, this is MORE prevalent…and also inflicted by men.

Where’s the article on that in mainstream media?

Where are the mental health programs for them? Or is it simply too many men?

More importantly:

Question #128: How are our boys being taught NOT to think of women as useless (except for one thing) and ‘gagging-for-it’?

If we’re not implementing the above, then we are simply stepping aside and allowing the Rape Culture to perpetuate.

You can get it on a t-shirt (this one’s a tame one):


Or in a meme:


You get the idea…

2. Kate left a fantastic comment which hits the nail on the head; looking at this from another angle. A part of what she wrote was the following:

“I long for the time women regain their worth, their subtle and centred power, and this can’t happen by drinking as much as men or lowering our sexual standards by removing our sense of love and care and giving, or by trying to ‘be’ like men. We are depth that are women! Yet we seem to be under the stupidity of unawakened ideals that put us ‘beneath’ another gender.”

Exactly, right?

We simply can’t allow ourselves to believe what’s said about us or how we’re portrayed. We are actually short-changing the fantastic, awesome wonderfulness that it is to be a woman and short-changing what we can offer – together with men.

Finally, another reader left the following YouTube clip. It was posted online only a few months ago and it’s your regular, fit, young man giving out some advice to ‘the brotherhood’ about women.
Some of the language used may offend some women.

And this is the type of guy that’s out there…

It’s not all of them – no – but they’re what’s in fashion now.

Any alarm bells ringing yet?

Thank you so much for all the engaging and insightful comments and calm discussion. Keep them coming!

Man or woman.

Deep Breath.


8 Responses to “Just to clarify from my last post. Rape Culture #2.”

  1. Harls said

    My young boys know girls are special and are to be respected. The guy in the video, what have his parents been telling him (or NOT telling him) since he was a toddler about girls? That guy makes me sick, he makes me wish he wasn’t my gender. Where are their mothers and their fathers in all this? Why have these morons no respect for women? Did they learn it, then forget it? I think not. My kids would never spew this bile (admittedly they are a lot younger) but I can guarantee my kids will never ever vomit this appalling nonsense about women, because of their upbringing and their innate sense of what is nice and what is right.

    • questionsforwomen said

      How wonderful that your boys are going to grow up to be great young men! And I know there is a MASSIVE lot of dads/uncles/grandfathers out there, who are doing the same.
      What do those of you who can SEE what’s happening, think we can do?
      ***You’re guys. What would work with guys?***
      Stop them from thinking of women in this horrible way and (worse still) acting upon it?
      I agree with everything you said.
      So, what would work with guys?

      PS Yes, it’s also coming from the home. When TV shows, TV ads and video games (you know how bad some games are and how really young boys are playing them – 8 yr old getting a lap dance on Grand Theft Auto) become the educators of how we should all live – where people emulate what they see on TV – then society is fucked. The sad part is – don’t you feel like we’re dealing with more people like that? Brainwashed and stupid? (of both genders).
      What do we do? To see ACTUAL change?

  2. Lele said

    Im a regular reader of your blog i would like to Thank you very much for commenting your opion on the video I added earlier I love hearing your points and views on issues you inspire me keep it up !

    • questionsforwomen said

      That’s so very kind of you to say. Thanks so much! It means a great deal.
      Spread the word to your girlfriends!
      The sisterhood needs a serious makeover and we need to be a united and loud voice!

  3. lamehousewife said

    Kate made a great point! My theory why many men are out of control–marriage and the family have been trivialized and broken, and these young men live without having stable men to guide them. Young women are abused increasingly in childhood because they are put into bad situations by their own parents. Very often kids are raising themselves. Daughters, I believe, learn to respect themselves from their parents just as sons learn to respect others from their parents, too. Thank you for the recap and clarification, Paula. Keep up the good fight:) Blessings…

    • questionsforwomen said

      Yes, what parents are doing at home has a lot to answer for! As a wrote in response to Harley – if all the core values are being attained from the TV and the wider media, what hope do we have?
      Thank YOU for the wonderful discussion! 😀

  4. Verina said

    I agree with all you said! Both men and women must fight against this….. by both speaking out and by both not being involved!

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