What I asked my husband.

May 25, 2013

What a day.

It has certainly put a fire in my belly.

I took my mum to see Anne Summers talk about her new book, The Misogyny Factor, as a part of the Sydney Writers’ Festival.

Amazing.

I’m busting to write about it and will soon. There’s a lot to digest, however, and I want to make sure I articulate it correctly and give it its due respect. This is a word Anne used a lot and it’s something that’s deeply lacking toward women.

Now we skip to this evening and the news has begun.

The story I saw was the one where a ‘Schoolgirl apologises to ‘heartbroken’ Sydney Swans star,  Adam Goodes because of her racist taunt – calling him an ‘ape’ – whilst he was playing.

I think racism is revolting and I understand how he felt.
I was treated poorly growing up due to racist attitudes (against Spanish speakers, apparently!), so I know how it feels.

So let me make it clear that I believe that racism is a social toxin that must always be fought.
They even showed a snippet of the ad being televised, encouraging racism to be abolished in sport.

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Fantastic.

Now there was another story in the news a few days ago, that also related to sport.

This one has an image of a woman with a black eye (ended up being a broken eye socket) and she alleges she was assaulted by Queensland Origin forward Ben Te’o.

314375-alleged-assault.gif

He denies it. Of course.

What incident could possibly warrant that sort of violence?

What?

Against a woman with three men the size of refrigerators, who are part of a football code with a history of violent behaviour against women.

And yet the woman – with a broken eye socket – is being vilified by men AND women (shame on them) for all the reasons that, what, she deserved it in some way?

Would you ever feel you deserved it?

I feel like we’re a world gone mad.
When will our society rally behind women, believe them and find the justice she deserves?

They can’t ALL be liars.

Another disgrace: If not him – who?

Once a ‘celebrity’ is cleared of violence, the case is closed.
So it’s not about finding out who did it and give justice to the victim…
I mean someone did it.
OJ Simpson springs to mind – if not him, WHO?

Who cares, right? As long as it wasn’t the male ‘star’.

When all this whirled through my mind – as I watched the nation stand still and listen, truly listen, to how heartbroken Adam Goodes felt about being on the receiving end of a racist taunt – I turned to my husband and asked:

“Why do men hate women so much?”

I explained my above thoughts on racism  – but I simply couldn’t understand how a racist word gets the coverage it should, while a smashed up woman’s face doesn’t. Again.

Like countless before this victim, it’s the women with the serious physical injuries who are still the ones investigated and given the third degree – in 2013.

Why? Because he said, “I didn’t do it.”?

We are the gentler sex. We are.

Why do men want to squash that? Control it? Violate it?
And worse still, why is it defended?

As the news continued – all the negative stories were violent ones – all done by men; including the hacking death of a man in broad daylight on a London street.

This world needs women.

It’s time to make way for us to fill the space that’s been left empty and fill the void that can tip things back into balance.

BALANCE. Not war to take over. Work side by side, FFS.

Equal in participation and respect.

And it starts by doing everything we can to give justice to women, when they have been treated like animals; beneath men – by men.

Question #161: Where’s the ad for that?

Deep Breath

x

4 Responses to “What I asked my husband.”

  1. Why do men hate women? Because they can. Because they feel entitled. Because they live in a violently oppressive hierarchy that tells them they rule over anyone they can beat up and that they need to beat people up to feel strong and in control.

    That hierarchy is something we need to dismantle. We don’t need male-defined “equality”, we don’t need “balance”. We need an end to patriarchy.

    • questionsforwomen said

      I agree we need to dismantle the hierarchy – but I think we DO need balance. Women dominantly ruling would raise its own issues.
      Everything in the natural world is a balance – until it tips and goes to hell.
      We have such a battle when even themselves women pit against other women too.
      So much disrespect for who we are and that our awesomeness and all the good we can do, is viewed with contempt – unless we’re raising babies, that is.
      Thanks for your comment. 🙂

  2. winkin said

    You could just as easily change the word racism to Vioalence against Women in that ad. The sentiment should be the same. It stops with me!!

    Also, you make a really good point that I must admit in all the OJ hoopla I never realised. If he didn’t kill her, who did? If Ben T’eo didn’t hit that girs then who did? That’s the question we just have to put out into all our conversations. If not you, then who? Who is getting away with murder?

    As an aside to the OJ matter, I read this on Wikipedia In September 2007, Simpson was arrested in Las Vegas, Nevada, and charged with numerous felonies, including armed robbery and kidnapping.[3] In 2008, he was found guilty and sentenced to 33 years’ imprisonment, with a minimum of nine years without parole. He is serving his sentence at the Lovelock Correctional Center in Lovelock, Nevada…..Kinda reminds me of Al Capone getting done for tax fraud…!

    • questionsforwomen said

      I don’t know what happened that night – but someone did a definitively wrong thing – violence – and that needs to be addressed.
      *sigh*
      Thanks Leone! 🙂 x

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