*Serious Trigger Warning*

April 13, 2014

This post contains my 200th question; an important moment.

I have been avoiding writing it, to be honest – finding justifiable reasons why I should leave it till later. This question is a big deal and a hard one to articulate; but it needs to be heard.
It must be heard.

I’ve chosen this post to lay it all down, the best way I can, and hope it resonates in some – any – way…maybe even cause an awakening in some.

My question is:

Question #200: Who is looking after females? 

The attitudes, perceptions and (worst of all) laws revolving around females have worsened worldwide. Actually worsened.
The people who make up the largest chunk of the Bell Curve, however, don’t see it – they choose to watch the sensationalist, fear-inducing ‘Big Brother’ news on the TV; news that’s especially selected for viewing conditioning.
However, on a daily basis there are countless more examples of atrocities occurring to females in developing nations, war-torn nations as well as in the so-called ‘developed’ world.

Developed.
Now there’s a word that brings with it a whopping case of irony when used to describe nations with wealth. I don’t see we’re developed at all, especially when it comes to the equality of half the human race.
Seeing as wealthy nations are only about making a buck – and is ultimately the SOLE thing that’s respected in the mainstream mindset (something in which we all participate, to varying degrees) – females in this realm of enlightened living *cough cough*, are an urgently needed commodity; who are represented as being available ‘on-tap’.

The so-called ‘Beauty Industry’ is the developed world’s teat, off which a huge bulk of consumerism suckles. Of course there’s also the destruction of the planet and the cruelty to animals, such as factory farming, to add to the mix.
We consume, destroy and discard rubbish to within an inch of oblivion; all with a mindless privilege that sickens the soul.

The environment, animals and females – the merchandise for the making of money. Check.
That’s the ‘developed’ world.
Congratulations.

But what about something that unites us all?
In what way do we link hands, as a species, in a common practice around the world?

Porn and prostitution.
(Porn –> prostitution with a camera; Prostitution –> the raping of females)

Anyone who argues that the use of female bodies for the purpose of ejaculation (yes, as it is ultimately the only purpose it serves) is a-okay, is contributing to this insidious modern-day emergency – through direct participation, indifference or both.

Our ‘humanity’ is flailing in quicksand, as the toxicity of this violent and hateful underbelly spreads.

This is a small snippet of Gail Dines on Q & A, discussing porn and counteracting the usual, exhausting and typical argument – “I haven’t seen it, so the problem doesn’t exist.”

Gonzo Porn – as Gail mentions – is violent and hateful and constitutes most of the type of porn that is made and accessed today.
In the following tumblr post titled Porn Statistics – amongst the harrowing statistics, female sex workers describe their horrific circumstances:

The first shoot I did was with a man who was probably 40 and he was as thick as a soda can. He held me down and shoved it in me with no lube tearing my vagina. When I started to tear up and cry he flipped me over and continued from behind be so they wouldn’t get me crying on film. He pulled my hair and choked me over and over again even when I told him it hurt and I could barely breathe.”

While the pornographers say this:

“My whole reason for being in this Industry is to satisfy the desire of the men in the world who basically don’t much care for women and want to see the men in my Industry getting even with the women they couldn’t have when they were growing up. I strongly believe this… so we come on a woman’s face or somewhat brutalize her sexually.”

Recently, I read the most succinct and powerful piece by Fire Womon called:

Prostitution, Pornography and the Illusion of ‘Choice’

This piece echoes my exact sentiments about Pornography and Prostitution.

“My problem – and the problem for all prostituted women – is that there are feminists who claim to be ‘pro-sex work’, which basically just means you agree to women being paid fuckholes. Some of these same feminists claim radical feminists such as myself are ‘anti-sex workers’. I hereby state emphatically that not to be the case. I am anti-sex work. There is a huge difference.”

The face of prostitution and porn has changed since the Internet graced us with its presence.
It is more violent. It is more degrading. It is hateful.
It lusts for younger and younger girls.
(My most common search engine term on this blog is ’12 year old slut’. That doesn’t include the variety of ages like 10 year old slut that I receive, as well as more horrific searches such as, ‘put your dick in my 12 year old pussy daddy video’ {word for word})

The most frightening part? The consumer is insatiable.

Males.

From Prostitution; An Abolitionist Perspective, come the following harrowing statistics:

“In prostitution the conditions that make consent genuinely possible are absent: physical safety, equal power with customers and real alternatives.”

A 2004 study of prostituted women in nine countries (Canada, Columbia, Germany, Mexico, South Africa, United States, Thailand, Turkey, and Zambia)  89% of the women surveyed reported wanting to exit prostitution but did not believe they had any real alternatives. A 2005 study of prostituted women in Vancouver found that 82% were sexually abused as a child, while 72% endured physical abuse. 54% of the participants reported entering prostitution while under the age of consent. In addition 86% were currently or previously homeless. 95% of participants wished to exit prostitution but did not feel as though they had any other viable option.

prostitute1

Choice?

There is little choice bar a small percentage of women. It’s not ‘Pretty Woman’. Those women are a microscopic minority and we simply cannot use them as an argument against the statistics of female, human misery at the hands of males and their drive to ejaculate inside them.

The following comes from an Open Letter to the UN asking for prostitution to be abolished:

You need only read or hear the testimony of women who have been bought for prostitution to find that, day in and day out, what men do when they buy women is “cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment.” Men pay to ejaculate and urinate on women’s faces, to hurt and humiliate them with any other kind of sexual perversion they had in mind, to not wear condoms.

As no human being should ever be treated that way, it follows then that PROSTITUTION IS A CORNERSTONE OF ALL SUBORDINATION OF WOMEN AND DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WOMEN WORLDWIDE. It supports sexual exploitation which is what customers buy. It is a reserve labor force that allows the economy to not have to fully employ all women seeking paid work. Prostitution structures families differentiating between wife and whore, pitting women against each other in ways that protect male dominance in the family as well as on the streets and in brothels. The list is as endless as is male domination and patriarchy. It is based on the recognition that women are a class hence what affects women in prostitution affects all women. To that end, to see that prostitution is recognized as a universal violation of human rights is to assert the right to human dignity in all of its meaning….. whether or not it is chosen or coerced, whether or not it is trafficked or pimped or is self-imposed by women themselves.

Now for the difficult part.
The following is the link to a site that publishes the opinions of male consumers (‘Punters’ slang) of prostitution in the UK. It outlines how much they paid for their female vessel and discuss their rating of the sex-worker’s performance.

** I must warn you that this may upset some people – but at the same time, I think it’s imperatively important to read the reality of this situation – straight from the horses’ mouths.

The site is called The Invisible Men – Let’s talk about his choices.
The image below is an example of what appears on this site – some are worse. Please read.

IMG_8191

That poor wife.
Porn and prostitution always affect marriages and relationships – in a multitude of varying ways – but always none-the-less.

If one puts Internet porn aside for a moment (a beast that is completely out of control),  the ‘ground-zero’ for us is the popular culture that supports this soul-destroying industry; through consumption by the pedestrian masses – lads’ mags, ads, TV shows and movies that use hyper-sexualised females to support physically, intellectually and/or monetarily heroic males and a pop culture which dictates a fashion that pushes for a look that is sculpted from porn – labiaplasty (of all things!) and plastic surgery are sadly still on the increase.
The worst part for females is the abhorrent rape culture that now exists; as the realities of porn violence seep into the minds of males and are enacted upon the bodies and minds of girls and women everywhere.

Some of these factors are fantastically explored by Gail Dines (again) and Julia Long in the article, Moral panic? We are resisting the pornification of women. It reads:

But feminists who organise against pornification are not arguing that sexualised images of women cause moral decay; rather that they perpetuate myths of women’s unconditional sexual availability and object status, and thus undermine women’s rights to sexual autonomy, physical safety and economic and social equality. The harm done to women is not a moral harm but a political one, and any analysis must be grounded in a critique of the corporate control of our visual landscape.

So I repeat – WHO is looking after females?

I don’t fight for me – I fight for a balanced and equal existence for all.
I fight for my daughters – that they not suffer – and I fight for yours.

I also fight for your sons.

Deep Breath.

17 Responses to “*Serious Trigger Warning*”

  1. Verina said

    WOW.. how wonderful are you!
    I cannot read and look at some of the things that you are…
    I thank you for doing that, for me, for my daughters , for my sons, for our society.
    It is indeed a difficult situation. It is difficult to get people to understand the harm and the degradation that then flows to all women… and I despair and the women out there that support this stuff and “their choice” “empowering women” and “social necessity”
    Thank you for your words.. may they go far and may they bear much fruit!

    • Thank you so much, Verina. I hate the clichés about ‘choice’ and ’empowerment’ too – just another smoke screen to keep the status quo…except that it’s getting much worse.
      I hope these words bear fruit – I really do. I’m not sure many are going to share it, though, because it is quite full-on.
      Thanks again, Verina, for all your support. It means a lot.
      x

  2. Powerful comments and I support your fight – for both our sons, our daughters.! Thank you for bringing to my attention the open letter to the UN which is so critical for us to appreciate.
    keep up the good work!

    • Thank you, Sarah!
      I’ve written many times before how urgent a situation it is for our sons too – I hope, in a way, that it’s understood in this post that this situation is an emergency for all.
      Thank you so much for your support! xx

  3. Thank-you for writing this.

    I reblogged this to my tumblr account. Interestingly, the next post on my tumblr feed is quite relevant to your post: http://yoursocialconstructsareshowing.tumblr.com/post/82561079459/gynocraticgrrl-cognitive-therapist-mary-anne

    • I love your tumblr post! That’s fantastic 🙂
      What I don’t understand is with aaalll the statistics, aaalll the voices calling out for something to change – we still have a worsening situation.
      I don’t get those in power. I practically don’t want to believe that they will always protect the brotherhood above all.
      Thanks you so much for your comment and support!
      😀

  4. qwertyuio said

    be careful: Melissa Farley can’t necessarily be counted on for accurate research.. there are tons of articles out there (not just from 3rd wave folks) criticizing her methods.

    • Thanks for the heads-up. I just researched her a bit as I didn’t know who she was (as it just said Farley at the end of the statistics) – it was the whole article that attracted me and furthermore found the statistics harrowing.
      Thanks again.

  5. Thank you so very much for this concise and focused inquiry “Who is looking after females”.

    I first became aware of the issue when my teen foster daughters was trafficked in 1976. Coyote in SF was the only group talking about it in their publication “White Slavery” that I obtained to educate myself. The foster daughter ultimately returned, the court labelled her “incorrigible” and she was put in juvie. Nowadays we know it is the pimp, the trafficker, who deserves to be confined not the victim girl or boy.

    The entire sexual liberation movement is junk. The ones who benefitted were, in order, gay males, then straight males, lastly, women if only in our Roe v Wade victory that made more male access acceptable. The male “quantity over quality” and the gee whiz You’ve Come A Long Way (Virginia Slims) messaging rewarded “sexual liberation” but it was NOT.

    Birth controls – which were a lynchpin for the supposed sexual revolution, diminish women’s libido and for some diminish it forever. But, the menz didn’t care as long as the vagina was open for business.

    Women’s liberation was only supported as far as a male entitlement access to more vagina, but Equal Rights and economic parity, much less the next tier of concerns about children, sexual violence and eco-feminist environmentalism were suppressed.

    Reading your blog here is like a fresh breath of the original Human Potential Movement the led me to early feminism-

    “The Human Potential Movement arose out of the milieu of the 1960s and formed around the concept of cultivating extraordinary potential that its advocates believed to lie largely untapped in all people.”

    Females should not be degraded into lesser human potentials of prostitution and filmed prostitutes (I refuse to call them porn stars).

    • PS: Birth controls should read “birth control pills”. my bad.

    • WOW! Thank you for your incredible comment. Wow!
      I was 6 in 1976 so I haven’t seen what you have.
      I feel a tinge of despondency reading your comment – in that this battle has really remained fairly stagnant in so many areas and horrifically worse in using female bodies on a factory conveyer belt of porn and prostitution.
      *sigh*
      Is there hope for change?
      Thank you so much, again. It’s revitalising to engage in conversation. 🙂
      Paula x

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