Crying #2

August 9, 2013

An experience I had has resurfaced, after having a conversation with a friend about crying. This is an issue I have always battled with, which I unpacked in the post: What is so wrong with crying?

It’s a driving story.
But before I begin, I would just like to say that I am an awesome driver and if at some point in my life there were ever the opportunity to attain skills in race car driving, I would have taken it…in a heartbeat.

I was on my way to a meeting, but was driving down a road I wasn’t entirely familiar with.
I was momentarily distracted when coming up to a round-about. I looked to my right and saw a car approaching. I was going slower than usual, due to my momentary disorientation, but I was still going to reach the round-about first, so I proceeded.

This car came in fast – I didn’t realise how fast until he was on top of me in the round-about, beeping his horn.

I was startled and raised my hand in apology – although all I had done was be a tad slow. I was in the round-about first and technically I had right of way. But we had both contributed to this moment occurring.
Just 100m ahead we both had to stop due to a red light.

This is when it started to get a wee bit alarming.
He started to blow his horn at me, whilst slamming his hands on his steering wheel, swearing and looking VERY angry. I was watching intently in my rearview mirror.
I started to think that I was pretty much trapped there, if he were to get out of his car and approach me.

Then it got worse.
His window was rolled down and he threw something out of his window and it landed on my roof. It landed with a loud bang – sounding like a full can of soft drink. I never saw what it was.

At this point I started to cry.
His aggression was scaring the living hell out of me.

To my relief, the lights had changed and the traffic started to move. This entire time, he had continued to beep his horn and act slightly unhinged.

I turned left – where there was only one lane on each side of the road – and so did he.
I was shaken, so I pulled over into a parking spot to calm my nerves a bit.

Instead of driving past, he stopped next to me – in the middle of the road – banking up the traffic behind him.

He aggressively started to insult me, saying we could have had an accident.

I replied (with tears), “Yes, OK – but why are you so angry?”

He said because he could have run into me.
I agreed again saying, “Yes, I understand that you could have run into me, but why are you so angry?”

He started to puff up again, but paused and looked out his windscreen.

He spat out, “Sorry” and drove off.

I then released the tears of relief, composed myself and proceeded to my meeting.

I looked a sight when I arrived and believe it or not, I felt a bit ashamed at the fact that I had cried. I even ‘listened to my story’ as I relayed it, hoping it would be deemed that the crying was warranted.

Question #177: Why does it seem like it’s the crying that is judged of its worthiness first – before the aggression?

The encouraging part is that he did apologise in the end –  but –  how would it have unravelled, if I had responded in an aggressive manner in return?

Deep Breath.



I see a gender issue.

September 19, 2012

There have been serious clashes worldwide over this anti-Islamic movie, that by most accounts, is of bad quality and is now notorious and has been made VERY important – because all those protesting have ‘blessed’ it with that honour.

The thing that I simply can’t fathom, from a humanitarian point of view, is why these protesters have placed SUCH significance and attention on something that could have quite as easily gone through undetected.

All of this for WHAT? Wanting to change how people think? Do they think violence is the way to change people’s minds?

We all seem to be on the same page about the obvious feelings that the Sydney protest (that turned violent) has stirred. Despite living in a huge melting pot, most people have been positively forging connections with other cultures. This last weekend’s events, however, have set this back substantially – giving those less tolerant the fuel they need to validate their feelings of racial hatred.

An absolute pity.

As I watched (stunned), I found myself disconnecting to what was being said – pressed mute, if you will – and just observed the images before me.

And I saw a sea of men. Men inciting violence.

Of course, there were women in the mix, but for the most part, you must agree that the reaction is a masculine one. Heated and violent.

I found it interesting that the one person in the Sydney riots who received the most singular attention, was a woman. A mother who was photographed taking a picture of her child with a placard calling for the beheading of those who insult the prophet Mohammed (one copy of a gazillion of the same placard).

The photo was an horrific sight. Truly. No argument from me. The fact that the next generation of children – from both sides (let’s not forget the Cronulla riots) – are being groomed to hate, is terrifying. The boy, however, is not old enough to read – so here’s hoping that he was oblivious to its writings…

The part that intrigued me, however, is that this woman handed herself in to Police the next day, to sort things out.

Any of the men do the same? The violent and destructive ones?

Remember that I’m observing – like a David Attenborough from another planet – having a peek.

So, I looked at what was happening around the world – and yes, it’s more of the same.

“This insult touched off the second wave of Islamic awakening and we hope that this wave would grow into a tsunami which would annihilate the US,” Ayatollah Ahmad Khatami, the top member of the Assembly of Experts, told thousands of clerics in the holy city of Qom on Sunday.

Sea of men.

Question #98: Can we ever achieve a peaceful existence, when the predominant masculine reaction is paving the way?

I’m not implying that ALL men are this way – in the same way that I would never profess that women are incapable of violent acts.

You all know what I mean.

Deep Breath…

(Maybe a lot of these people should have started with a deep breath and this issue could have been rationalised logically – that an idiot made a video.)

What about the following?

Maybe I’m naive, but I like the cartoon.

A girl can dream, can’t she?