Questions for Us

I need to start this post by saying that I’m SO embarrassed. When I checked the number of hits I’d had on Friday night, I failed to realise that it was a few minutes past midnight…hence why there weren’t any hits. FAIL. I must admit, though, that my brain was in the mushy stage by then, especially after the previous 24 hours. So all is good. *smile*

I also want to give an honourable mention to my BFF (who I met 35 years ago and has been a constant in my life ever since), for joining me on my mini-break. It was  just the ticket. In just over a day together, we talked, did some shopping in the quaint, antiquey, Blue Mountains shops, saw The Three Sisters, drank, ate, laughed…and talked. We discussed our kids, our strength as mothers – our flaws – and gave each other support. I came away feeling peaceful and blessed. Thank you, Katy.

Now…

Sex.

As I usually do in discussions like this, I’m going to go ‘back in the day’, as it’s the only benchmark I have.

I remember in the 90’s, when I was in my 20’s, I used to buy Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines pretty regularly – it seemed to have everything a young and vibrant girl like me needed to know! *insert ‘wow’ face*

It was also designed to confuse the hell out of us, but hey….what’s new. We went from ads with skinny and gorgeous women modelling clothes, makeup and jewellery – to the harrowing story of the girl with anorexia – to “How to lose your tummy in 10 days!” exercise regime – to some story about loving a star’s new curves. Yep. Mixed message central.

And this was the era of no photoshopping! I know – hard to believe or imagine nowadays. If anything, at least they were selling us real women – unlike today where the women are practically digital.

So, yes, the core of what we’ve been ‘sold’ over the decades, hasn’t changed. What has changed, however, is the saturation of the current ‘look’ and the worst part is that our young girls are LAPPING it up.

What does this have to have sex? I hear you ask….

Well, in the same way that us girls have always been sold an image to conform to, now it’s being used to sell a ‘common’ sexual image – for men.

Back to Cleo and Cosmo for a moment. Along with all the above-mentioned features, there was always a section devoted to how to ‘catch a guy’ or ‘please your man’ – generally with ’10 ways’ to do it. Funny – I’m not sure what magazine is out there for the guys, with tips on how to please their woman…

…oh, that’s right, there isn’t.

Question #26: Why are women perpetuating the sexual image, that’s a male fantasy?

With the introduction of the internet, it seems that (again) there is one predominant image being splashed about in everything we see; young girls and women, dressing like they’re ready to go – and a lot of them are. A friend recently said to me that a young, male relative of hers told her how easy it is for a guy to end up with a girl, “without having to do anything.”

But the word that keeps rearing its head, is young.

You have ads, like the following, where child star Dakota Fanning, is looking a little more grown up, a little less innocent – and giving up her ‘flower’ to sell perfume…that’s sitting in her crotch.

This ad was banned in the UK.

Or there’s this 10-year-old in French Vogue…

It’s obviously not enough to target young women in their 20’s, through to teenagers, to make a buck – now, to feed the insatiable lust for making money, we need to start training our girls in Primary School. What leaves me dumbfounded, however, is that there seem to be A LOT of mothers behind the new trainees.

Please watch the following clip. It features Melinda Tankard Reist, the warrior fighting the sexual exploitation of our young girls. This link contains images of a dance show in America called, “Dancing Moms” and how girls as young as eight are doing a burlesque dance – with the ‘appearance’ of being topless.

Besides the disturbing fact that pedophiles just won – AGAIN – these girls are being trained to express themselves in a sexual manner – aged 8 – for ratings. There is nowhere else for these girls to turn, because as they start to grow and watch music videos and movies, there’s just more of the same:

• Girls looking and acting like they’re naughty girls – because that’s what men like,
• Girls who are willing to give sexual favours AND be good at it – because that’s what men like,
• Girls who ‘don’t want a relationship’, just sex – because that’s what men like.

Ever noticed that if there’s a soundtrack to represent sex – it’s just a female voice you hear moaning and panting? Never a man’s – because men don’t like that.

Deep down, girls don’t know how else to behave because they’ve been fed the same story from the start – your validation comes from your looks.

Girls can’t really get validation from their friends because girls/women secretly (deep down) compete with each other. So they turn to the men and in this competitive market, how else are girls/young women going to catch that boy’s eye, if it’s by not by giving him what he wants?

We’ve always been a confused bunch – navigating our way through everything that was thrust in our face – but now it’s a whole new ball game and it’s up to us, ladies, to start turning things around through education and protest.

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