Pass it on.

December 22, 2013

Does anyone remember the movie, Awakenings?

Based on a true story, Robert De Niro plays a patient – one of many – who is catatonic. They are all ‘awakened’ from their condition by a doctor (Robin Williams), testing a new drug which seemed to work…until it didn’t. I have this image in my head from the film, where De Niro’s character’s health is regressing and deteriorating; where the viciousness of his spasms cause his muscles to slowly seize, rendering them stiff and him catatonic, once again. (I cried for about half-an-hour after that movie ended, when I was at Uni. Head buried in a pillow.)

As of late, I’ve been experiencing moments where I feel mentally unable to move. The instances, and the related feelings that come with them, are happening a little bit more often as time passes.
I feel stiffened by the world – machine at work – people surrounding all of us and running the show. The drive to make excessive moneyat all costs, regardless of who or what suffers – sickens me.
And it’s not just in the dark, underbelly of life – it’s disgustingly in government and big business; hand in hand; cutting more and more corners at our expense. There is no escape from it – the Internet makes sure of that, of course; with pictures and everything:
Atrocities being done to people – predominantly women and children;
Atrocities being done to animals;
Atrocities being done to the planet;
By Bullies.


Question #194: Where’s the outcry?

There are many ‘regular’ people out there – wonderful people with courage – driven to do something and speak up. A common way to raise awareness is by starting a petition. My heart aches to see the flow of terribly unjust issues going on and on out there; as they appear in my Newsfeeds and emails. It’s so deflating.
Helen Razer recently posted a piece about her refusal to sign petitions (amongst other actions) saying:

“If you just want me to sign your online petition, I will not sign it until you sign my online petition declaring that the purpose of online petitions is to draw attention to the fact that one has signed an online petition.”

I don’t agree with her comment above. I think there are many petitions out there that, with a big enough *outcry*, can (and do) create change.

But again – where is it?

I write here; I call things out and discuss different perspectives with the few who indulge me;
I share petitions calling for actionsometimes they work, but on the whole people stay mute; I also started a campaign with my friend Lily Munroe, to ‘Lose the Lads’ Mags’ and we’ve collected some great support from Collective Shout and awesome activists like Steve Biddulph. We have been just about ready to go for a few months now, but have been temporarily halted in the search for legal help. When we get going, a petition will be launched.

This is the juncture, where we seem to hit the wall.
Regardless of what action is taken – one still hits that wall of indifference…or hate.
The change that’s urgently needed for a more just existence for all, seems near impossible with our current paradigm – an overpopulated one – where Greed and the attainment of excessive money is far, far stronger – even (especially?) amongst our common populace.

So here I am – finding myself slowly stiffening, due to the lack of change for things we all know have to. As I look one way and see an injustice being called out, I read the vitriolic labels, clichés and criticisms that ooze out of trolls and the ignorant, through their comments – inherently saying, “Shhhhhhh….”

This post took me days to write and I nearly scrapped it all together. I feel like I’m getting repetitive – which is, in actual fact, the point; if it’s getting repetitive, then we have a problem, right? But ultimately, my posts are possibly causing the same reaction in you, that the cruel and grim realities of so very, very many of our own kind, are having on me.

So I’m stepping back from the blog for a mo’. I’m going to enjoy this holiday period with my family and wish the same for you.
A little more kindness – that’s what I’m pushing with my girls in how they treat each other.

The world is thirsty for it too.


I hope 2014 is the ‘Year of Action’ where we, the people, band together as a race and balance things out a bit. It’s getting hideous out there.

I still have a plethora of things to say but they’re just going to come, when they come.
In the meantime, there are nearly two years’ worth of posts on this blog, covering many an issue. I invite you to take a stroll back there – maybe even partake in a wee chat with me.

I wish you all a Christmas that is merry, safe and full of awesome!
Lots of love to you and your loved ones.
Pass it on.

Paula x

Deep Breath.

Take the quiz: Who said it?

September 11, 2013

Rapists or Lads’ Mags?

That’s the question.

I have always discussed how degrading and misogynistic magazines like ZOO are to our world and have also let you know that together with my partner in crime, Lily Munroe – with the strong support of Collective Shout and people such as Steve Biddulph – we are close to launching a sister campaign to the UK’s Lose the Lads’ Mags, here in Australia.

These magazines have now crossed the line and I’m over the clichéd arguments: Yes, porn has always existed. Yes, you can see a woman on the beach in a bikini. But my favourite has to be when a man responded to me on Twitter by likening a man with a bare chest on a Men’s Health magazine, as being in the same league of objectification as this:


Snore. These covers are now the gateway to what’s inside because women are not only being exploited and objectified in the images on the covers and on the pages inside – it’s also how women are being talked about. A gentle reminder (which is in the ZOO link above) was when ZOO asked its followers to pick a ‘half’:



But there’s more – there’s violence. Talk of violence against women – in magazines with NO age restrictions. It’s Rape Culture. It’s Porn Culture.

All of our rights are being exploited by having them so readily available.

Psychologists from Middlesex University and the University of Surrey discovered that the line between comments from convicted rapists and ones made in Lads’ Mags, were starting to blur. The following article explains: Are sex offenders and lads’ mags using the same language?

Question #182: So – do you think you can tell the difference?

Let’s see!
Leading up to the launch of our Lose the Lads’ Mags sister campaign in Australia we have compiled our own list of quotes taken from Lads Mags such as Zoo, Maxim, FHM and Picture as well as interviews with convicted rapists.

*** Take the quiz >>> HERE

Please let me know how you fared!

Deep Breath. x

Stay tuned.

September 9, 2013

I have been very absent from here of late.

I have to say, it has been quite hectic this last month.

Due to work, I was away from school for two weeks and away from my family for one of those.

Although the two weeks away were hard work, it’s the return to full-time work after that absence that’s hectic. Full ON.
Add to that the cold I collected at the end (and four days with absolutely no voice – yes, my family was happy! Hahaha!), meant that after working all day, doing the after-school routine, either cooking dinner or cleaning up…or both, bedtime for the girls (you all know my pain) – I just wanted to slump into a chair and was only able to interact on Facebook.

For now, everything else has dropped off a bit including my newish relationship with Twitter…and this blog.

However, there’s another reason.

A much deeper and sadder one.

Australia just elected in a new government two days ago and I’m deeply, deeply disappointed by the result.

We all ‘knew it was coming’ (a phrase that was bounced around SO much, it passive-agressively directing the gaze of the masses), as we were inundated with biased reporting during the excruciating period of the pre-election campaign.


In my heart I think the wrong government won.

I was very saddened to hear that 4.5 billion dollars will be cut from Foreign Aid.
It makes my heart heavy.

All I want is a better world for everyone who’s on it because, quite frankly, who am I to get more than any other person on this planet?

Who is Rupert Murdoch to get more?
Why did Australia vote for one of the richest men on the planet to influence these elections (see above image), have his way with the NBN – AND get richer from it?

What has he ever done for us? Foxtel?

You pay him for that too.

Isn’t he lucky that Australia was so compliant?

I think everyone who voted Liberal, should all get a cash handout for it, don’t you think?
A special thanks from Rupert. He can afford it.
He won’t though. He’ll keep it in his pocket as will the new government, whilst others languish in starvation, are immersed in violence and have no. way. out.

They do actually – Australia.
Umm…actually no. Not welcome here. At all.

In fact we’ll pay the people smugglers money for their boats.

Yes, Australia voted for THAT.

There are so many more issues, but I simply can’t.

BUT – it’s a democracy and here we are.

So today I find myself wondering, “Now what?”

Together with a group of extraordinary activist women, mainly from Collective Shout – I am helping organise the campaign I mentioned a little while back; taking on the need to get rid of misogynistic magazines like ZOO, off the shelves of ‘family friendly’ locations like the Newsagency, Coles, etc.

We all know the furore there would be if there were even ONE magazine of this type found in a child care centre – but noone really bats an eyelid to the fact that:
1. they’re everywhere,
2. have no age restriction for purchasing and
3. that kids of too young an age are being exploited, with the hyper-sexalised, objectified and misogynistic images and DISCUSSIONS of women.

Here’s a shot I took at a petrol station.
As we can see there’s ZOO, at the entrance of the store, flanked by Woman’s Day and New Idea:


Oh, so that’s where they’re positioning it now. Always at pram height too.

Question #181: Does this worry you?

I’m starting to feel that with the majority of this country, the answer is ‘No’.

Maybe it’s because they see the logic of having a woman whose underwear is falling off her, seductively showing how ‘hot’ she is – burning for it – placed at the entrance, because it makes more money.

Maybe it just doesn’t matter to them that it’s someone else’s 11 year old son buying it.
That’s their problem.

I know there are people out there – many good people I’ve met through this blog – who will be standing with us.

But we’ll be the minority.

This election just handed me that most disappointing and depressing lesson.

But – I’m here – I’m not going anywhere – I have about 2 million more things to say and DO (one of them being this upcoming campaign) – so please, stay tuned.

Deep Breath.


The Misogyny Factor

June 16, 2013

A few weeks ago, my mum and I went to the Sydney Writers’ Festival to watch Anne Summers speak about her new book, The Misogyny Factor. Anne has worked as a senior bureaucrat and political adviser, and is the former editor-in-chief of the landmark feminist New York based Ms. magazine.


She was wonderful.

Articulately pointing out logical and factual anomalies in the fabric of our unbalanced existence, in the never-ending search for equality.

Some facts:

  • By simply being female, a woman will earn 1 million dollars less than a male, in her lifetime – 1 million – or the fact that an HSC male (high school graduate) will earn more than a university post-grad female.
  • That the control of a woman’s 1. Financial Independence and 2. Fertility plus the ever-growing 3. Violence against Women, have us in a grand old pickle.

Anne mentioned three words:

Inclusion – Equality – Respect.

These are the words we must ALL aim for – for a better world…for ALL.
We must strive for governments and policies that go about securing us inclusion, equality and respect.

Following are a few of Anne’s perceptions that she wrote in the introduction to her book.
They just resonated with me (well, it all did, really):

  • ‘I nominate the misogyny factor is the obstacle.’ 
  • ‘If misogyny is the theory of women’s inferiority and unworthiness and, therefore, unsuitability to be equal players in our society, sexism is the everyday expression of it.’ 
  • ‘These people believe that, once they are mothers, women just do not belong in the world outside the home. They also tend to have the conviction that all women ought to be mothers and, therefore, confined to the domestic sphere. Such views can be, and are, held by women as well as men.’ 
  • ‘My starting point is the absurdity of a society predicated on a double standard: men can be fulfilled as fathers and as workers, yet we still argue the toss about whether women can ‘have it all’.’

The last point is the crux.
Question #167: Why does this double standard truly exist?

My delay in writing about seeing Anne and listening to her fantastic-ness, was due to the fact that within those two weeks, the news was choc-full of misogyny galore!
And these are just the ones that made the news. The cold and sad reality for many women suffering similar actions go generally ignored or ‘unseen’.

We must start to see…


We had Collective Shout and many women – from all around the globe – speaking out against rapper Tyler the Creator coming to Australia to perform his sexist, racist, homophobic, hate – with lyrics containing violence against women, such as:

“Rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome,”
“Keep that bitch locked up in my storage, rape her and record it.”

New Zealand didn’t permit him entry into their country, but not only did Australia grant him a Visa, he performed all around Australia in places like the Enmore Theatre in Sydney to all-ages audiences.


{A future post will look at how the objection to have Tyler come out here, meant the predominant women who spoke up, received a barrage of threats of rape and violence against themselves and their families, by Tyler’s fans online.}

We had a Liberal Party fundraiser menu – click here – which featured our Prime Minister as a dish, demeaning her down to the features of her body, including her pubic hair.
Our Prime Minister.

PM Julia Gillard was again insulted a few days later when radio ‘journalist’, Howard Sattler, decided to ask personal questions about her partner’s sexuality and pushing for an answer.
He was sacked.
I wrote on the radio station’s FB page:

‘She is our Prime Minister and this dismissal was a good call. 
Like Ms Gillard or not, the job commands our respect.
There would have been justifiable outrage if John Howard were asked about ANYTHING sexual about him or his wife. 
This radio station demonstrated respect for our Prime Minister. Well done.’

Australia’s Army Chief gives a stern warning telling sexist soldiers to get out of the army after:

“Following revelations of further “demeaning, explicit and profane” behaviour by his army members.”

In a moment of go-knows-what, the Socceroos coach, Holger Osieck, whilst being directed to his seat for a press conference, is heard saying:

“You push me around like my wife.”

He then said something in Latin, which he then translated to:

“Women should shut-up in public.” 

These examples all occurred within a two week period – the last four within just one week – two of which were against our female Prime Minister.

Inclusion – Equality – Respect.

I leave you with a question Anne Summers wrote within her introduction:

Question #168: What exactly do we need to do to ensure our society promotes equality and makes it possible for women, as well as men, to live they want?

Deep Breath


Please support Collective Shout; this wonderful group who are doing SO much in the fight against the sexploitation of girls and women.
They need our support.
This is a great way to get some Chrissy gifts and in turn help this important non-profit movement. Starts midnight for only 24 hours.

Click on the link below and put your money to good use.


via Buy a gift and support Collective Shout: 24 hours only!.

I’m feeling despondent.

October 28, 2012

Again, it seems I’ve hit another moment where it all feels a smidge overwhelming.

I’m a bit low about it all.

I keep seeing – hearing – absorbing – feeling – more and more examples of horrible behaviour, greedy behaviour, hateful behaviour…

…and I just don’t understand.

I don’t understand why intelligent men and women sit back with a desensitised indifference or, worse still, defend certain elements of our society – making us tip out of balance. I feel like we’re sitting on the side of the balance that’s just started its descent…and it’s going to reach the bottom at an accelerated and unstoppable pace…

Or have we reached that ‘point of no return’ already?

I’d like to think not. I’d LOVE to think not. But am I being naive to think we can put on the brakes?

Because I’m starting to doubt that it’s possible because there seems to be a lot who defend the need for cesspools in different pockets of our existence.

It’s depressing to entertain this thought. It is.

For me, this is the crux of it:

The world is going down a slippery chute – because of money and power.

And it doesn’t matter how you look at it – proven statistically – whatever the culture around the globe, whatever the economic status…

the true victims of any society, are women.

And the ones who wield the power and dominate, are men.

Not ALL men – but most of those who are in positions of power, are – however they came to be there. They’re the ones ruling this planet. Fact.

But I’m wondering, if there are so many of you out there – and I know in my heart you are out there  (regardless of gender) – who feel like a lot of the things being brought to light are wrong:

Question #105: Where are you?

I see women like Melinda Tankard Reist and the phenomenal team at Collective Shout, who are doing wonderful, extraordinary work. They have won so many battles against things that seem inconceivable, to have been allowed to be put in our society in the first place. Inconceivable. They have little money and are flying by the skin of their teeth. But they keep going because it simply has to be done.

Where’s the equivalent loud male voice – a face – who also thinks things are very, very wrong?

Where are the voices of ALL of us, regardless of gender?

In a previous post Feeling a bit ineffectual I listed how women are the victims of this world.

Women are raped by the thousands in places like Africa – used as a weapon of war – DAILY. Women infected with diseases from it.

Women / baby girls around the planet – who are raped, molested, sexually assaulted, trafficked – DAILY

Countless countries forbidding girls from being educated. Shooting a targeted girl, point blank, in the head for wanting one. These are the countries that like war. They have their women – who could stop them if they were in decision-making positions along side them – submissively kept at home.

The poverty, the pain…

And here? In the capitalist world? Here we only reward one thing;

Making money – at whatever cost.

Most of us do it the right and honourable way – with our ethics and morals intact – but the thing I don’t understand is why we actually stand back and let the soulless monster loose in big business  – to OUR detriment. OURS.

We are creating a MINDLESS culture by allowing men – yes men – the ones in power who hold 97% of clout positions in Advertising, Publishing, Tele-communications and Entertainment – to feed on all our weakest and most vulnerable make money. To make a LIVING.

With their fellow men it’s done through sex and with women it’s done through vanity.

Except for the men it’s a dominant weakness and for women it’s a submissive one.

Men are happy with their vice – by indulging in the world of hyper-sexuality and porn…but women never are! Which woman actually believes they’re beautiful enough? Good enough?

What the hell’s THAT about ladies? Seriously!

We’re allowing companies to target and condition our youth to become MINDLESS.

Our silence and indifference gives them permission.

WHY are we doing this? Because it’s good business? The more we say that, the more we pave the way for another to push the ethical frontiers. I’m beginning to wonder if there are any left.

Seems like a free-for-all.

The infuriating part is that we could ALL sell-out and make a quid the fast way.

We ALL have the capacity to steal. We ALL have the capacity to cheat. We can be unkind, selfish, greedy, hateful – but for the majority of people – we’re decent.

Question #106: So, why are we letting the men in power dictate how they will feed off ALL of us – men, women and children – in this detrimental way?

All’s fair in love, war…and capitalism, it seems.

I wonder, with a heavy heart, if the line above does encompass the general attitude amongst the masses…

Again, I hope not.

This is a worthy cause, isn’t it?

Deep Breath.


Pass it on. Speak up. Anything to help create change.

At the start of the week, I (and hopefully you) signed the petition against the Lingerie Football League.

Very late last night I signed the following petition:

Basically one of our high-profile AFL (Australian Football League) players, Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin (a ‘role model’), is part owner of the ‘fashion’ brand Nena & Pasadena – that includes the porn t-shirts I’ve featured in previous posts.

Collective Shout has started this petition, calling the AFL to action on this football player. This is some of the explanation on the petition:

The Australian Football League’s Respect and Responsibility Policy represents the AFL’s commitment to addressing violence against women and to work towards creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community. The Respect and Responsibility Policy is about shifting attitudes – ensuring that people throughout the Australian Football industry are aware, and have structures in place, that recognise that violence against women and behaviour that harms or degrades women, is never acceptable.

AFL player Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin is an owner and model for the Nena and Pasadena fashion brand, which designs porn-themed t-shirts, fosters misogyny and encourages rape jokes.

Franklin’s management has been quick to distance their client from the brand maintaining he is “a shareholder only”. However, Franklin deliberately uses his AFL profile to promote the company on countless websites and in the media and has self-identified as ‘owner’.

We want to tell the AFL that Franklin’s continued ownership and promotion of Nena and Pasadena is not consistent with the AFL’s Respect and Responsibility policy “creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community.”

I recently had a look at  Nena and Pasadena’s Facebook Page and it asked of its followers: “How do you seal the deal? Best answer wins a t-shirt.”

I read the responses like – “I hope she can’t run faster than me down the alley way,” as well as some with references to rape and women being refered to as ‘bitches’ – and it made my stomach sink. These regular guys are out there and that’s how they feel about women. Thankfully it was reported and that comment feed has now been taken down.

Please sign! Every vote counts!

Deep Breath.


The following picture is of Franklin in one of his T-shirts:

Due to the complaints of MANY, including Melinda Tankard Reist, Telstra has now changed their policy towards their pornographic apps and are removing them.

This following post is from Melinda’s site:

Telstra agrees with us: ‘Women at work’ page and ‘Dirty Housewives’ porn incompatible.

People power has effect.

Deep Breath


I need to start this post by saying that I’m SO embarrassed. When I checked the number of hits I’d had on Friday night, I failed to realise that it was a few minutes past midnight…hence why there weren’t any hits. FAIL. I must admit, though, that my brain was in the mushy stage by then, especially after the previous 24 hours. So all is good. *smile*

I also want to give an honourable mention to my BFF (who I met 35 years ago and has been a constant in my life ever since), for joining me on my mini-break. It was  just the ticket. In just over a day together, we talked, did some shopping in the quaint, antiquey, Blue Mountains shops, saw The Three Sisters, drank, ate, laughed…and talked. We discussed our kids, our strength as mothers – our flaws – and gave each other support. I came away feeling peaceful and blessed. Thank you, Katy.



As I usually do in discussions like this, I’m going to go ‘back in the day’, as it’s the only benchmark I have.

I remember in the 90’s, when I was in my 20’s, I used to buy Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines pretty regularly – it seemed to have everything a young and vibrant girl like me needed to know! *insert ‘wow’ face*

It was also designed to confuse the hell out of us, but hey….what’s new. We went from ads with skinny and gorgeous women modelling clothes, makeup and jewellery – to the harrowing story of the girl with anorexia – to “How to lose your tummy in 10 days!” exercise regime – to some story about loving a star’s new curves. Yep. Mixed message central.

And this was the era of no photoshopping! I know – hard to believe or imagine nowadays. If anything, at least they were selling us real women – unlike today where the women are practically digital.

So, yes, the core of what we’ve been ‘sold’ over the decades, hasn’t changed. What has changed, however, is the saturation of the current ‘look’ and the worst part is that our young girls are LAPPING it up.

What does this have to have sex? I hear you ask….

Well, in the same way that us girls have always been sold an image to conform to, now it’s being used to sell a ‘common’ sexual image – for men.

Back to Cleo and Cosmo for a moment. Along with all the above-mentioned features, there was always a section devoted to how to ‘catch a guy’ or ‘please your man’ – generally with ’10 ways’ to do it. Funny – I’m not sure what magazine is out there for the guys, with tips on how to please their woman…

…oh, that’s right, there isn’t.

Question #26: Why are women perpetuating the sexual image, that’s a male fantasy?

With the introduction of the internet, it seems that (again) there is one predominant image being splashed about in everything we see; young girls and women, dressing like they’re ready to go – and a lot of them are. A friend recently said to me that a young, male relative of hers told her how easy it is for a guy to end up with a girl, “without having to do anything.”

But the word that keeps rearing its head, is young.

You have ads, like the following, where child star Dakota Fanning, is looking a little more grown up, a little less innocent – and giving up her ‘flower’ to sell perfume…that’s sitting in her crotch.

This ad was banned in the UK.

Or there’s this 10-year-old in French Vogue…

It’s obviously not enough to target young women in their 20’s, through to teenagers, to make a buck – now, to feed the insatiable lust for making money, we need to start training our girls in Primary School. What leaves me dumbfounded, however, is that there seem to be A LOT of mothers behind the new trainees.

Please watch the following clip. It features Melinda Tankard Reist, the warrior fighting the sexual exploitation of our young girls. This link contains images of a dance show in America called, “Dancing Moms” and how girls as young as eight are doing a burlesque dance – with the ‘appearance’ of being topless.

Besides the disturbing fact that pedophiles just won – AGAIN – these girls are being trained to express themselves in a sexual manner – aged 8 – for ratings. There is nowhere else for these girls to turn, because as they start to grow and watch music videos and movies, there’s just more of the same:

  • Girls looking and acting like they’re naughty girls – because that’s what men like,
  • Girls who are willing to give sexual favours AND be good at it – because that’s what men like,
  • Girls who ‘don’t want a relationship’, just sex – because that’s what men like.

Ever noticed that if there’s a soundtrack to represent sex – it’s just a female voice you hear moaning and panting? Never a man’s – because men don’t like that.

Deep down, girls don’t know how else to behave because they’ve been fed the same story from the start – your validation comes from your looks.

Girls can’t really get validation from their friends because girls/women secretly (deep down) compete with each other. So they turn to the men and in this competitive market, how else are girls/young women going to catch that boy’s eye, if it’s by not by giving him what he wants?

We’ve always been a confused bunch – navigating our way through everything that was thrust in our face – but now it’s a whole new ball game and it’s up to us, ladies, to start turning things around through education and protest.


A few months ago, I was on school holidays and flicking through some daytime TV. I happened to land on the ABC and saw Gail Dines doing a presentation to what looked like some MPs or equivalent.

She was showing how women are now, more commonly, being repreaented. Nothing really surprising. Then she made the following – what I thought was an ‘a-ha’ – point:

She was showing an image of a woman on the cover of Sports Illustrated looking….well you can imagine – and she said, “We all know what she (the woman on the cover) is trying to communicate, don’t we? The ‘Fuck me’ look.” Yep, that’s it.

She said that when she discusses the topic with senior high school students, they come up with the same – no mystery there. She then asks the students if any of them can get up and demonstrate the look. Of course, there are always girls who volunteer.

However, when she asks a boy to do it, she gets a different demonstration – because when a guy does the ‘Fuck me’ look, everyone, including himself, start to laugh. Why? Because it looks silly – as Gail explains, guy can’t do the ‘Fuck me’ look – he does the ‘Fuck you’ look.



Think about the common way in which our young adults, teens and now children are being depicted. Isn’t what she’s saying right?

I feel like, if we boil it all down, the simple message is that a female is nothing unless she’s seen as ‘Fuckable.’

This is the moment I need to interject my own argument – to make sure we’re on the same page (or not).

I don’t have a problem with a woman being sexual – we are sexual beings. I believe a woman – every woman – has it in her to be attractive + confident and intelligent. But in this ever stifling pop culture, where can our sons and daughters see this modelled?

Again, I’m talking about BALANCE – something I’ll keep referring to because it’s not so much what’s out there (to a degree it’s always been ‘out there’), but where’s the yin to complement the yang?

I don’t know if you watch regular TV, (I don’t have cable – just the free-to-air stuff), but The Good Wife ad has caught my attention. It saddens me that – beside the fact that some of the main female stars look like they’ve gone under the knife a few times – it seems nearly irrelevant that the ‘good’ wife is a lawyer. The WHOLE ad campaign leading up to the new season has her main photo in lingerie, there’s a sexy shot of her on a bed, with raunchy music playing throughout, and the slogan, “Don’t let the name fool you” – obviously…because she’s a naughty, naughty girl.

Now she’s fuckable. Well, that’s a relief!

Here are some promo shots from the show. Here is Julianna showing how her character NOW has strength and won’t be a door mat. What, by performing sexual favours?

Another female character, ironically also speaks about being a ‘badass’…in her over-the-knee leather boots, short mini leather skirt and VERY tight shirt.

The MEN however….Same job and yet, there’s a tired weariness in that first shot – hard day at work ending with a well deserved whiskey – plus the fact they’re all fully dressed in the suits they would actually wear to work.

Why are the women not wearing what they would actually wear to the office in these shots??

Should our daughters watch it and get inspired because she’s also a lawyer? Maybe. But there doesn’t seem to be a hell of a lot of choice – after all, there’s also stupid and fuckable.

The saturation of this simple, subliminal, messaging in popular media means that we are ALL being subjected to it – regardless of age. After all, my interest in discussing this show ONLY came from one ad campaign. As we go on with our lives, in the background there is an incessant drone, telling us over and over again, through these representations, that a woman’s worth is whether she’s ‘Fuckable’ and a man learns that this is what he has to look out for. This is incredibly limiting. 

Question #8: Do you think that it’s OK for women to be portrayed in this manner?

If you hadn’t noticed, start paying attention to the limited blueprints that are being delivered to you about women and girls, and how the same message wallpapers us in outdoor advertising and narratives. 

Nothing can change unless we wake up as a society and stop consuming what we’re given without critical reflection.