Blurred Lines – I have something to say.
June 2, 2013
The current number one song in Australia – and I assume world-wide – is Blurred Lines by Thicke.
I am experiencing a mini-form of anxiety over this song – that I need to purge.
Here is my timeline with the song:
1. My sister played me the start of the song on her phone – it had me instantly hooked – I put it on the dock and we turned up the volume. My daughters were with us, so we were all dancing around the kitchen.
2. Then the lines – “I know you want it / I know you want it…but you’re a good giiirl – I know you want it / I know you want it” – started to echo out of the speakers and I thought, “Mmm…not sure about that for the girls.”
3. I saw a comment from a friend on her FB page – with the video embedded – saying that the feminist in her wasn’t sure about the video, but that she loved the song.
The feminist in her?
Torn moment #1: Do I really want to see it? I didn’t want to hate it.
But at that moment I didn’t have time to click on her link.
4. The following week, I saw the video on the telly. Scantily clad girls, with the fully clothed men, watching the girls walk by, leering at them, smacking their lips. Complete objectification. Still loved how the song made me want to dance, though. And dancing fills me with joy.
Yes it does.
5. I went back to my friend’s comment to tell her I agreed with her – but something she responded to me didn’t make sense, so I clicked on the video she had embedded.
In this unrated version – the women are basically naked.
Only a pair of skin-coloured g-strings (thongs) covering up the front pubic area – which in the first shot appears the girl is naked – with no pubic hair. What they are wearing, however, are a white pair of sandshoes.
The photo below is of the female ‘clothed’ version – but all the naked photos are there for the kiddies:
Look – the perfect man and woman, apparently. Sexy.
Now I am no prude.
I’m quite a fan of the naked female form, actually.
I think it’s stunning – of all shapes. What women’s bodies can do. Simply amazing.
I believe that the naked form – male and female – can communicate a myriad of beautiful messages – but we only see one: The hyper-sexualised woman or girl.
We certainly don’t see the male naked form in terms of saturation and sexual objectification.
I have two enormous problems with this song and video:
1. It’s not with the nudity itself – but the context in which it resides.
These men are fully clothed. As always.
Must we continually be subjected to the same message?
In Nelly’s song, It’s Getting Hot in Herre the chorus says:
Male: “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes”
Female: “I am, getting so hot, I’m gonna take my clothes off.”
The irony – that whilst the women in the video are scantily clad (as the song suggests) some of the men have parkas on – is staggering. And blatant. They’re taking the piss.
Same again with earlier episodes of Big Bang Theory. Leonard would be wearing shirts, long sleeve t-shirts and a jacket – indoors – while Penny would be in a shoe-string, low cut, singlet top and tiny shorts.
And who can forget the visual example of Lana del Rey on the cover of GQ – as the only ‘Woman of the Year’ 2012, amongst the other four ‘Men of the Year’ (including one being pawed by women’s hands):
My point?
That the less dressed you are – the more vulnerable you are.
It may be your (a woman’s) choice, but does it make you any less vulnerable to the eye of the beholder?
Again, I can’t believe the irony that I noticed this last summer – that some boys were wearing board shorts that had three-quarter leg lengths.
Gotta make sure the ‘package’ is well and truly hidden and secure…girls on the other hand…
The Blurred Lines video shows only objectification at its purest.
Are the men on the hunt?
It’s for sexual gratification ONLY and it’s sadly so one-dimensional – for both sexes.
The girls’ value is glorified – for the world to see – in only this one way.
They are nothing more than their sexual, perky breasts.
As nice as they are – really?
Is that it for us women? Our ultimate goal?
And to hate ourselves – actually hate ourselves – for not looking like that AND allow men and other women to make us feel bad too?
Question # 164: Do we want our boys and men to see and treat girls and women this way?
Then we have the following lyrics from the song:
One thing I ask of you
Let me be the one you back that ass to
Yo, from Malibu, to Paribu
Yeah, had a bitch, but she ain’t bad as you
So hit me up when you passing through
I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two
Swag on, even when you dress casual…
There’s more, but you get the gist.
Couple the female-only (ever) nudity, with what’s being said, and you have dangerous, hyper-sexualised objectification.
The men are not vulnerable and never are.
My second problem?
2. The Arrogance of the men in the video.
So. Arrogant. (See lyrics above)
I saw a comment left by a woman about this video saying that she thought the guys looked hot and wouldn’t mind being paid to grind up against them. (Naked…to fully clothed men…)
I would respond to this woman with, “AND DON’T THEY KNOW IT!”
They know they’re top dogs and they know women will perform naked for them.
Thicke, in particular, is an attractive man (no argument) but he has balloons in the shape of letters which spell out,
‘Robin Thicke has a big dick.’
Arrogant. {Yeah, I’d fuck you, bitch.}
So here I am – liking a song I loathe at the same time – feeling completely gypped that artists who want to tap into a sexual theme, have to continue with this degrading view of women.
And that women comply – whether appearing in the video or wanting to be her.
*sigh*
Still…I really like the beat of that song.
Deep Breath.
x
Physiology.
December 14, 2012
A week or so ago, my family and I had a bit of a Christmas gathering as it was the only time a lot of us were going to be all together. It was so lovely because it was a rare collection of loved ones who were all able to make it on that day only.
One of our dear family friends said a very elderly neighbour had recently passed away and that his children had finally gotten around to sorting out his belongings – some of which they kept and some, thrown out.
This friend rescued a full set of Children’s Encyclopaedia Britannicas and asked if I wanted them. To say I was chuffed was an understatement. They were published in 1970 – the year of my birth. I also got a four volumed set of The Cycle of Life – looking at the birds and the bees and titles such as, ‘How do you know it’s love?’ and all from the 60s.
They are truly wonderful and a treasure. and the smell of them – old and musty – is just divine.
A few friends had asked why I would want them as all the information would be outdated. Well some would be, but not all of it. Picasso is Picasso; the basic information would be the same.
I – or more importantly – my daughters can pick up a volume and read through some bits and pieces. I did that today, when I picked the volume with ‘Paintings’. There are beautiful, colour, glossy pictures of famous paintings – I found a beautiful, hand drawn illustration of the Pied Piper of Hamelin…it just goes on.
See, the stuff you get off the net is what you look for specifically and there are generally millions of pages presented to you – that flash up when you’ve typed in your search engine term. Millions. So most go with the top couple and that’s it.
But these books have intriguing, snippets of information – some information hasn’t changed and the areas that have, have you looking on with wonder at how much our society has progressed over the last 40 years or so – especially (obviously) in the area of technology and engineering. In other areas, however…
Basically I keep stumbling upon things that, more than likely, you can’t find on the net.
As I was flicking through, I found Physiology (the study of how our body works, like a machine) – which inspired this post. One part reads:
Everyone is born with the power to do these [automatic] reflexes without thinking, but people can learn other reflexes, such as riding a bicycle and feeling hungry as a mealtime draws near. These are called conditioned reflexes. Much of what a person does – that is, their physiology – is made up of automatic and conditioned reflexes.
Fascinating…and sobering.
Why? Because I think society is allowing businesses to feed on our automatic reflexes to make money – but are in turn creating conditioned ones. Bad conditioned ones…and there appears to be no end in sight because most people think ‘everything’s fine’.
Example? The recent discussion on the net over the Playboy Bunny bedspreads in the arts and craft shop Spotlight, had many people, of both genders, saying to relax – you just tell your young child that it’s a regular, ol’ bunny. Yes, you can, until it’s everywhere and the association of what it really stands for becomes quickly embedded and comes at a much, much earlier age.
At this moment I realised how little we go to the past anymore.
Noone looks back. Just forward.
Just more.
Pushing that line with an ever growing army.
While we stand idly by.
Let’s look back to our youth and its artists.
I looooved Duran Duran. I may have mentioned this before, but I was convinced that Simon Le Bon need only look at me (with my braces aged 14) and know he had found the one. But even though I was surrounded by posters of Duran Duran, I still knew of older artists and their contribution to music:
The Doors (another love), The Beatles, Elvis, The Stones, The Eagles, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Easybeats, The Monkees, The Style Council, Bob Marley, Simon & Garfunkle, Christopher Cross (don’t laugh), Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra…etc.etc. etc. I could go on.
Question #121: Who are our youth listening to today? And what are the messages in their songs?
Because there seem to be a lot of similar looking videos – hyper-sexualising girls and young women all wearing the ‘gagging-for-it’ uniform, as they writhe around the screen…and who can forget the famous lyrics:
Man: It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.
Woman: I am getting so hot, I’m gonna take my clothes off.
As well as the plethora of references to being nasty, freaky, hot, sexy and many more delightful terms. I heard a new song from Kanye West and the chorus goes like this:
Ain’t nobody f*ckin’ with my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
Ain’t nobody fresher than my muthaf*ckin’
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
As I look around, they don’t do it like my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
And all these bad bitches, man, they want the…
They want the…They want the….(Insert the word dick)
Your kids may be listening to this song. It’s Kanye West.
Question #122: Is our youth’s conditioned reflexes changing their physiology for the worse?
Deep Scientific Breath.
x
A visual presentation…
April 18, 2012
So, why is pornographic material so hard to avoid?
Let’s see…
Here are my Top Ten ‘unavoidables’ – places or ways in which women are depicted as hypersexualised and vacuous:
1. COUNTLESS movie plot lines.
2. COUNTLESS music video clips.
3. This – from a popular movie actress, Megan Fox (one amongst many):
4. This – from a popular female singer, Rhianna (one amongst many):
5. This – from a popular television series for young adults, ‘Two and a Half Men’ (one amonst many):
6. This – from a popular television “reality” show for Gen Y, ‘Jersey Shore’ (one amongst many):
I can’t believe these people have become famous and are rewarded for being shallow and self-centered; with the sole intention of partying and hooking up – episode after episode
*sad, sad face*
7. This – a promotional shot from a popular television show for teens and tweens, ‘Glee’ (leading the way):
Look at Lea Michele’s face (on the right) – and look at his (of course) – and where his hands are…
Is video footage more your thing? Click on the following link and watch the video of the Glee students singing and dancing to Beyonce’s song, ‘Run the World (Girls)’ – from a previous post of mine – A (moving) picture paints a thousand words
8. This – from a billboard (Australia) selling Lee Jeans (one amongst many):
9. This – from a funny internet ‘joke’ (one amonst maaany):
10. This – from a t-shirt sold from popular urban store, ‘City Beach’ (one amongst many):
What I really want to know is this:
Question #32: How much longer do we have to wait until women (like these) say, “No. I’m not doing that.”?
Just one, simple word – No.
Because without women – we can’t see these derogative images.
I can dream that day will come…can’t I?
Deep Breath
x
Let’s talk about sex…
March 27, 2012
I need to start this post by saying that I’m SO embarrassed. When I checked the number of hits I’d had on Friday night, I failed to realise that it was a few minutes past midnight…hence why there weren’t any hits. FAIL. I must admit, though, that my brain was in the mushy stage by then, especially after the previous 24 hours. So all is good. *smile*
I also want to give an honourable mention to my BFF (who I met 35 years ago and has been a constant in my life ever since), for joining me on my mini-break. It was just the ticket. In just over a day together, we talked, did some shopping in the quaint, antiquey, Blue Mountains shops, saw The Three Sisters, drank, ate, laughed…and talked. We discussed our kids, our strength as mothers – our flaws – and gave each other support. I came away feeling peaceful and blessed. Thank you, Katy.
Now…
Sex.
As I usually do in discussions like this, I’m going to go ‘back in the day’, as it’s the only benchmark I have.
I remember in the 90’s, when I was in my 20’s, I used to buy Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines pretty regularly – it seemed to have everything a young and vibrant girl like me needed to know! *insert ‘wow’ face*
It was also designed to confuse the hell out of us, but hey….what’s new. We went from ads with skinny and gorgeous women modelling clothes, makeup and jewellery – to the harrowing story of the girl with anorexia – to “How to lose your tummy in 10 days!” exercise regime – to some story about loving a star’s new curves. Yep. Mixed message central.
And this was the era of no photoshopping! I know – hard to believe or imagine nowadays. If anything, at least they were selling us real women – unlike today where the women are practically digital.
So, yes, the core of what we’ve been ‘sold’ over the decades, hasn’t changed. What has changed, however, is the saturation of the current ‘look’ and the worst part is that our young girls are LAPPING it up.
What does this have to have sex? I hear you ask….
Well, in the same way that us girls have always been sold an image to conform to, now it’s being used to sell a ‘common’ sexual image – for men.
Back to Cleo and Cosmo for a moment. Along with all the above-mentioned features, there was always a section devoted to how to ‘catch a guy’ or ‘please your man’ – generally with ’10 ways’ to do it. Funny – I’m not sure what magazine is out there for the guys, with tips on how to please their woman…
…oh, that’s right, there isn’t.
Question #26: Why are women perpetuating the sexual image, that’s a male fantasy?
With the introduction of the internet, it seems that (again) there is one predominant image being splashed about in everything we see; young girls and women, dressing like they’re ready to go – and a lot of them are. A friend recently said to me that a young, male relative of hers told her how easy it is for a guy to end up with a girl, “without having to do anything.”
But the word that keeps rearing its head, is young.
You have ads, like the following, where child star Dakota Fanning, is looking a little more grown up, a little less innocent – and giving up her ‘flower’ to sell perfume…that’s sitting in her crotch.
This ad was banned in the UK.
Or there’s this 10-year-old in French Vogue…
It’s obviously not enough to target young women in their 20’s, through to teenagers, to make a buck – now, to feed the insatiable lust for making money, we need to start training our girls in Primary School. What leaves me dumbfounded, however, is that there seem to be A LOT of mothers behind the new trainees.
Please watch the following clip. It features Melinda Tankard Reist, the warrior fighting the sexual exploitation of our young girls. This link contains images of a dance show in America called, “Dancing Moms” and how girls as young as eight are doing a burlesque dance – with the ‘appearance’ of being topless.
Besides the disturbing fact that pedophiles just won – AGAIN – these girls are being trained to express themselves in a sexual manner – aged 8 – for ratings. There is nowhere else for these girls to turn, because as they start to grow and watch music videos and movies, there’s just more of the same:
- Girls looking and acting like they’re naughty girls – because that’s what men like,
- Girls who are willing to give sexual favours AND be good at it – because that’s what men like,
- Girls who ‘don’t want a relationship’, just sex – because that’s what men like.
Ever noticed that if there’s a soundtrack to represent sex – it’s just a female voice you hear moaning and panting? Never a man’s – because men don’t like that.
Deep down, girls don’t know how else to behave because they’ve been fed the same story from the start – your validation comes from your looks.
Girls can’t really get validation from their friends because girls/women secretly (deep down) compete with each other. So they turn to the men and in this competitive market, how else are girls/young women going to catch that boy’s eye, if it’s by not by giving him what he wants?
We’ve always been a confused bunch – navigating our way through everything that was thrust in our face – but now it’s a whole new ball game and it’s up to us, ladies, to start turning things around through education and protest.
x
Dirty dancing…and it ain’t with Patrick Swayze.
February 6, 2012
The following article appeared in the paper yesterday – a perfect follow-on to my last post.
It hits the nail on the head.
How have we allowed the music industry to portray women in such a soulless demeaning way?
OK. Do you agree?
I’m going to go down Nostalgia Avenue again – Sorry, I can’t help it…
Music and I have always had a close love affair. My earliest memories were of my best friend, Katy, and I preparing endless dance routines in her living room. It had a perfectly placed mirror to be able to watch the ‘magic’ unfold – our best work being a fabulously choreographed number to ‘Copacobana!’
Our dance moves were heavily steeped in 70s disco influences…and we looked fantastic! This music love affair continued with the birth of the walkman – a device I HAD to have. Music everywhere I went? How wonderful! In Year 11, I worked in a chicken shop (called ‘The Game Cock’….I kid you not), to pay for said walkman. My Duran Duran cassettes certainly got a work out…
At this time, music videos really took off. Of course there were music videos before, but they started to take on a new life – it wasn’t just an artist standing in front of a microphone and singing; stories started to be told through the videos.
I LOVED it. There was nothing like watching Countdown on a Sunday night (the cause for GREAT conversation on the bus the next day) or Sounds on a Saturday morning. I remember the pure excitement of waiting for the premier showing of a video….it was simply awesome….*sigh*
Now, I don’t think I sound the same as parents of the day, shielding their burning eyes from the thrusting pelvis of a certain Elvis Presley – I actually love some dance music, House in particular – really love them. I do, however, feel that things have definitely gone down a dark road for women in music videos. The worst part is that many women artists are perpetuating this image.
Pussycat Dolls – enough said. I always felt that they sent out very confusing messages to women – not needing a man being the main message in one song, to tormenting a boy whose girlfriend is not “hot” like her (or a “freak” like her), to practically begging a man to “loosen up her buttons”. But one thing always stayed the same – their videos were like soft porn.
On a different branch, one of the things I feel most disappointed with, is the fact that female artists that made it BIG being ‘wholesome’ and gained a very large, young fan base, all turned to soft porn to sell more albums. The unfortunate part, is that as they were watching the older market of consumers they could ensnare to buy their music (with means that had nothing to do with music), they turned their backs on the young ones, who continued to watch…and learn.
The first words of Christina Aguilera’s song ‘Dirty’ are of a man saying, “Dirty, Filthy, Nasty.” There’s that word again – dirty.
The accompanying video was just what they guys wanted to see – Christina in a dark and dingy boxing ring being cheered on by beefy men, as she danced as though she were in a strip show…I don’t really think it was for us. This was at a time when all of this was starting to warm up.
Here’s a shot of her from around the same time.
Of course there was also Britney – she who performed a lap dance every night of her last world tour, to a male audience member (amongst other things):
Both these women have sons. They will ALWAYS be able to access images of their mothers in this way….forever. It’s such a shame that the allure of more money took precedence over anything else. I wonder if they regret it, now that they’re mothers.
So, there are still music videos on a Saturday morning – but my daughters can’t watch them. Which is a real BUMMER. I want my girls and their future ‘Katy’ dancing to great songs in the living room.
I would love to think that there is a way to make a change with this.
Question #11: How is change possible, when women are helping perpetuate the soft porn image in their videos?
Growing up…’80s style.
February 3, 2012
In 1985, I was 15 years old. A pure ’80s teen.
I can’t help but smile at the tragic elements that made the ’80s so unique…and how I love them so. For all the Aussie readers, I was watching Rage the other night and they’re going through a retro stage, by playing countless episodes of Countdown – from the mid ’80s. MOST excellent! As I watched, I couldn’t help but cack at what the audience looked like. Classic!
There were lots of girls wearing baggy jeans, that came in a bit at the ankle (mmMMmm), with bunched up white socks, lace up shoes (think Duran Duran….my idols!), baggy shirts and big bows in their hair. Noice.
From memory, there were also the shoulder pads, tube skirts, odd hair-cuts (long on one side, short on the other – as well as the classic massive, teased fringe or spiky numbers), big shirts with a belt over the top, fingerless gloves, flouros, pastels, paisley, tartan, bubble dresses….aaaahh, good times. I can literally see the younger readers flinching…and you’d be right to…because on the whole, it was a baggy look…and we looked like dags. *still grinning*
Fortunately for us – it was the fashion. It was ‘in’.
Please cast your eyes on the wonderful specimen I was in 1984, at the Year 9 dance – my first ever dance with boys:
There is a white TIE at the front of this fabulous outfit….that I wore to attract a male of the spiecies (no luck, though – Ha!). Please also note the girls in the background with their full, long skirts. Imagine a Yr 9 dance today – what would the girls be wearing? Mmmm….exactly.
So, on this Countdown episode, Howard Jones is up and starts to lip-sync (as they all did back then) to his song:
“I’d like to get to know you well…I’d like to get to know you well…I’d like to get to know you well, so we can one, we can be one, to-gether.” (Remember that one?)
So as I’m watching him, with his long shirt, teased hair and excellent lip-syncing skills, surrounded by all those daggy audience members, I start to smile because they really do seem like more innocent times.
But not on the inside – it was the same hormones, same wants – just not so transparent and ‘in your face’.
I suppose the realisation I had, was that the music lyrics and videos of the 80’s were endearing because it was ‘tongue-in-cheek’. We all knew, like a ‘secret club’, what the lyrics were really about. Younger kids would be oblivious, because the video clips didn’t match what was being sung. I remember Cindy Lauper had a song called, “She Bop”. Now at the time, the word around the school yard was that the song was about masturbation (oooOOooo – so naughty *wink*) – but the video clip featured her in a suit, with a top hat and tails. It kind of felt a bit grown up to be part of the secret club – my younger sister certainly had NO idea what the song was about.
So what do we have today?
Well, about five years ago, I remember there was a VERY popular song on the radio that had a lot of the words beeped out (Eminem *gag* was one of the singers). I did remember the line, “I wanna girl who will do whatever the *beep* I say, every day she’ll be giving it up.”
Nice. Classy. So I looked the lyrics up and this is a sample of it:
[Eminem]
Get buzzed, get drunk, get crunked, get fuuucked up
Hit the strip club, don’t forget ones, get your dick rubbed
Get fucked, get sucked, get wasted, shit faceded, pasted
Plastered, puke drink up get a new drink
Leave the bathroom sink [puke], wipe your shoe clean got a routine goin’
Still got a few chunks on them shoe strings shoin’
I was dehydrated till the beat vibrated
I was revived as soon as this bitch giyrated
Them hips and lickin’ lips and that was it
I had to get Nate Dogg here to sing some shit
[Nate Dogg]
Were gonna have a party, turn the music up
Let’s get it started, go ahead shake ya butt
I’m lookin for a girl with a body and sexy strip
Wanna get it poppin’ baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded, some girls about it bout it
I’m lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin’ it up
[Eminem]
I’m a menace, a dentist, an oral hygienist
Open your mouth for about four or five minutes
Take a little bit of this fluoride rinse
Swish but don’t spit it, swallow and now finish, Yeahhh!
Me and Nate D-O-Double G lookin for a couple Bitches
With some Double D’s pop a little chapagne and a couple E’s
Slip it in her bubbly, wheee fittin ta have a party [Nate Dogg]
Were gonna have a party, turn the music up
Let’s get it started, go ahead shake ya butt
I’m lookin for a girl I can fuck in my Hummer truck
Apple bottom jeans and a big ol suck
Some girls they act retarded, some girls are bout it bout it
I want a bitch that sit at the crib with no panties on
Knows that she can but she won’t say no
Now look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be
Tonight I want a SLUT, would you be mine?
I Heard you was freaky from a friend of mine
I mean seriously. They’re singing about drugging girls in one line, amongst the rest of its hideousness. Could young men hear this and think that’s the way it is – or worse still, the way it should be? Surely, the answer to that must be YES. They’re singing it in a song on the radio, aren’t they?
Now we have the women joining in, singing songs that sound like soft porn (how else are they going to make money, if it’s not to sell themselves short?) Why would a guy want to call a 0055 number, when he can turn on a popular radio station or go into any shop that plays the music and hear a girl moaning and singing, “I like it when you lick me there”? (I heard this one recently).
So couple this sort of music, with their corresponding video clips and hyper-sexualised women and surely you start to mould a generation.
Where’s the ‘secret club’ gone?
Question #10: How can we combat the influence of the current paradigm of music and their videos?
Questions for Us 