To the good men who need to speak up.

January 16, 2013

I have been amazed at the number of men in internet debates (albeit small) who still insist on irrational arguments – such as that rape is a woman-made epidemic, saturated with finger-pointers who have changed their mind about having sex with some poor man.

As much as I know that this occurs from time to time, I find it truly astounding that these men insist on this kind of discourse, against the statistically devastating evidence of rape and violence against women.

The frustration I feel, however, with all the fiery discussions that are igniting the internet at the moment, is how the predominant male voices – who are responding to what an abundance of women are saying – seem to be men with the above perspectives. Even if you label them as ‘trolls’, it doesn’t take away from the fact that the conversation is between women and these few men.

Where are the good guys’ voices?

It’s the lack of empathy that seems to be rife amongst these types of men who seem to want to stand up for their gender, however shameful its behaviour is. This is where my logical brain AND heart begin to ache because I can’t understand how so. many. of these types of men, fail to stop and think, “This could have happened to someone I dearly love.”

They can’t think it can happen to them, because statistically it’s microscopically low. Is this where their lack of empathy stems from?

If a fellow male (a good guy) does venture into the conversation to make a comment about the grim state of affairs with women, he is generally greeted with insults. I thought this cartoon by Gabby’s Playhouse is spot on:


Question #136: Is this why the good guys are silent?

I have seen MANY comments from men who demean another man for suggesting things need to change – as if the ‘brotherhood’ has now attained a weak link – who must be pounced upon and destroyed, in a similar vein to how the women are addressed.

I came across this following clip that is from a few years ago, showing how a panel of men – although it’s one alpha male voice who’s in control – must decide a woman’s fate in regards to her calling out a highly stationed man to being sexually inappropriate.

This scenario, in my opinion, encapsulates the battle all women have with being heard and BELIEVED, when the stakes are high – in other words, when it’s her word against his.

Of course, there are men present who attempted to help this woman, but they are immediately shot down by the alpha male – as he loudly claims to be offended by them questioning his methods –  and they quietly slink back and remain silent.

What hope do women have to be believed and gain justice, when even fellow men are shot down into silence?

Until we realise that there is no ‘him’ or ‘her’, that a woman seeking justice is only doing just that, not waging war on the male gender – we have no hope of evolving.

We are simply people. People who suffer from the hands of other people and if someone has done the wrong thing, regardless of gender, then they should do the time for the crime.

Deep Breath.


4 Responses to “To the good men who need to speak up.”

  1. I particularly like how you have said that gender should be taken out of the equation and justice regardless of gender.

    • questionsforwomen said

      Thank you! I am a warrior for balance and it seems to be waaay out at the moment…well it always has, I suppose. But in this day and age – we should be evolving a little more.
      Thanks for your comment. 🙂 x

  2. Darla Carmichael said

    I truly believe it will take men, strong and powerful men to stand up for the rights of women. As much as I hate to say it and it degrades all the forward momentum of the feminist movement over the past 100 years, the fate and treatment of women seem to be left up to these alpha males within society. It seems to be understood that woman can be the equals of men in an office setting (for the most part), but we are still not equals when it comes to sex, judicial judgments or so many other more social and legal aspects. I have no clue how this is to be modified other than finally getting all men on the side of sexual equality and truly understanding violence against women.

    • questionsforwomen said

      The issue of violence against women aside, I think you’re right in one way, Darla – we definitely DO need the good guys to take a stand on our behalf, to begin the path to equality.
      As I see everything through the eyes of balance, we equally need women to snap out of their brainwashed haze (esp. the ones that are right in there) and also start using their minds to bring about change, by saying, “Enough is enough.” We’re starting to see a bit of it now, which is very exciting.
      In every unequal facet of our existence, for women AND men – it really is time to just do it and start balancing things out.
      Easier said than done, I know. I’m an idealist and a dreamer.
      Thanks so much for your comment, Darla. 🙂

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