Go and put the kettle on…

November 10, 2012

Are you comfortable?
Because it’s time to have a chat – especially with the Aussie parents out there – about a magazine that’s tapping into the seedy and degrading underbelly of our boys and men’s minds and it’s using a firm and taloned grip.

I should warn you that there are images, with text, in this post that may offend some readers (I was offended…putting it mildly) and if they don’t – I encourage you to step away from your personal perspective and think of the fact that the rest of us (including {and especially} kids, whose minds are absorbing like sponges) can’t avoid them.

They’re everywhere. Shaping.

This Australian magazine’s simple existence, (along with its horrible brethren versions around the planet) – and the manner in which it has evolved and spread over the years – leaves me gobsmacked.

Well, no, I suppose it doesn’t. Once you dangle the proverbial carrot in front of a weak society, anything goes nowadays. Point in case? This magazine.
What does perplex me, however, is the desensitised indifference that society as a whole seems to have towards magazines like this.

Or is it that most people – especially parents – simply don’t know the dangerous and misogynistic reach these types of magazines have?
This magazine is cheap – only a few dollars – with no age restrictions for purchase at your local newsagency and it predominantly exploits women.

Finally, it calls itself Zoo. Are we animals?

In a recent post, Melinda Tankard Reist discusses Zoo Magazine and says:

28000 – That’s the number of boys aged 14-17 estimated to read  Zoo magazine each week.  Despite its pornographic nature Zoo magazine is classified as ‘men’s lifestyle’ and therefore unrestricted – anyone can buy it. Zoo is conveniently positioned and priced for young readers to purchase in convenience stores, service stations and Coles and Woolworths.

It also states that:

“More Australian men buy and read ZOO than any other magazine in the country – that’s a fact.” – ACP Magazines, Zoo Magazine distributor

28000 a week – of teen boys.

Any alarm bells set off yet?

Many years ago, I had my first experience with Zoo – around the time of its inception in 2007. A copy was confiscated from a 12 year old boy at school. I looked through it and was a little stunned – for so many reasons. Amongst its variety of ‘sections’ (including a baby-seal clubbing article with pictures), the standouts in this particular issue were:

1. A multi-paged ‘article’ with photography of raunchy video-clip stills – predominantly breasts and women bending over, mouths open in erotic ecstasy etc.
2. A section where regular, everyday girls (mostly teens) have sent a ‘selfie’ of themselves in underwear or bikini in ‘sexy’ poses, to be ranked by the readers.
3. An advice section, where it’s two women answering the queries in each issue and are photographed with only underpants on, topless but turned to the side.

A 12 year old had it.

So now I’m going to ask you to have a look at Zoo Magazine’s Home Page.

How are those alarm bells going now?

Now envisage the amount of young boys going to this site.

This is the downside of the Internet, I suppose – furthered by the unyielding force that is Facebook.
Zoo Magazine has a Facebook page.

{Of course it does; it’s good business, right? And that’s what’s ultimately respected, after all – making money}

This is the place where parents can see the ease of infiltration, as well as the predatory domination that is occurring. Remember that legally, a person needs to be 13 years old to open an account on Facebook – but we all know parents who open up accounts for their children, as young as their first years of Primary School.

Recently, Zoo put up the following post (question) for its readers on its Facebook page:

“Left or right? But you’ve got to tell us how you came to that decision.”

For those who can’t read the print, the first comment that appears in this image says: “Left…You have the mouth and the tits to fuck.”

Here are some more responses:

Women being discussed as ‘holes’, ‘it’ or the lovely, ‘either end there’s shit coming out’.

Misogyny. Pure misogyny.

And this platform sees them all clapping each other on the back and giving each other high-fives. Aaahh, the Brotherhood is certainly strong in these circles.

It’s grooming our boys and they’re multiplying. How can they not be?

If the way boys and men think about women is ever-changing for the worse (as evidenced by magazines like Zoo, the post above, Facebook pages on 12 year old sluts etc) then:

Question #110: Are we happy to stand back and let these businesses sabotage our youth by only perpetuating sex as disconnected, dirty and now violently dominating?

Some boys will never know the joy of what a loving relationship entails – where a woman’s wants are equal to his. How sad, but it won’t be entirely their fault because Internet porn and businesses like Zoo Magazine, taught them differently.

And learn they do; they’re KIDS.

I can see older men shaking their head as they’re reading this, thinking how you grew up with ‘Playboys stashed underneath your bed’ and that you turned out ‘alright’. Well, your experience and attitude is a cog (and continues to be) in the terrible state of affairs today.

The comments above are hateful. Nothing good comes from hate.

One may have entertained thoughts or ‘jokes’ similar to the ones posted on the Facebook page above but I probably would have never known; now it’s posted online and it’s permanent. Then it feeds, thanks to the unprecedented way sites like Facebook spread information.

Spreading hate.
How can that NOT be damaging our kids?

A task: Want to take some action? You can join us and let the battle begin against the visible stocking of lads’ mags like ZOO.
Next time you fill up at the petrol station or shop at Woolies or Coles, have a look and see where these sorts of magazines are positioned.
Knowing the damage it can do, just from its sexist cover – should it be there?
A friend confronted a petrol station owner who had all these types of magazines above the lollies that kids make a beeline for.

After that, it’s simple. If they listen and change, continue giving them your business. If not, take your business elsewhere and tell them why you’re doing so.

Remember that money talks. It’s the only way.

Deep Breath and go get ‘em!

Question for men – #4

November 4, 2012

More men like this, please.

This is a post by Melbourne writer, Guy Sigley – reposted by Melinda Tankard Reist – reposted by me.

One man’s plea to other men: take a stand against sexism.

Question #108: Is Guy right about men?

He doesn’t seem to be taking it personally – like a lot of men do – when issues of sexism come up.

More men like this…please.

Deep Breath

x

Guy Sigley

I’m feeling despondent.

October 28, 2012

Again, it seems I’ve hit another moment where it all feels a smidge overwhelming.

I’m a bit low about it all.

I keep seeing – hearing – absorbing – feeling – more and more examples of horrible behaviour, greedy behaviour, hateful behaviour…

…and I just don’t understand.

I don’t understand why intelligent men and women sit back with a desensitised indifference or, worse still, defend certain elements of our society – making us tip out of balance. I feel like we’re sitting on the side of the balance that’s just started its descent…and it’s going to reach the bottom at an accelerated and unstoppable pace…

Or have we reached that ‘point of no return’ already?

I’d like to think not. I’d LOVE to think not. But am I being naive to think we can put on the brakes?

Because I’m starting to doubt that it’s possible because there seems to be a lot who defend the need for cesspools in different pockets of our existence.

It’s depressing to entertain this thought. It is.

For me, this is the crux of it:

The world is going down a slippery chute – because of money and power.

And it doesn’t matter how you look at it – proven statistically – whatever the culture around the globe, whatever the economic status…

the true victims of any society, are women.

And the ones who wield the power and dominate, are men.

Not ALL men – but most of those who are in positions of power, are – however they came to be there. They’re the ones ruling this planet. Fact.

But I’m wondering, if there are so many of you out there – and I know in my heart you are out there  (regardless of gender) – who feel like a lot of the things being brought to light are wrong:

Question #105: Where are you?

I see women like Melinda Tankard Reist and the phenomenal team at Collective Shout, who are doing wonderful, extraordinary work. They have won so many battles against things that seem inconceivable, to have been allowed to be put in our society in the first place. Inconceivable. They have little money and are flying by the skin of their teeth. But they keep going because it simply has to be done.

Where’s the equivalent loud male voice – a face – who also thinks things are very, very wrong?

Where are the voices of ALL of us, regardless of gender?

In a previous post Feeling a bit ineffectual I listed how women are the victims of this world.

Women are raped by the thousands in places like Africa – used as a weapon of war – DAILY. Women infected with diseases from it.

Women / baby girls around the planet – who are raped, molested, sexually assaulted, trafficked – DAILY

Countless countries forbidding girls from being educated. Shooting a targeted girl, point blank, in the head for wanting one. These are the countries that like war. They have their women – who could stop them if they were in decision-making positions along side them – submissively kept at home.

The poverty, the pain…

And here? In the capitalist world? Here we only reward one thing;

Making money – at whatever cost.

Most of us do it the right and honourable way – with our ethics and morals intact – but the thing I don’t understand is why we actually stand back and let the soulless monster loose in big business  – to OUR detriment. OURS.

We are creating a MINDLESS culture by allowing men – yes men – the ones in power who hold 97% of clout positions in Advertising, Publishing, Tele-communications and Entertainment – to feed on all our weakest and most vulnerable points..to make money. To make a LIVING.

With their fellow men it’s done through sex and with women it’s done through vanity.

Except for the men it’s a dominant weakness and for women it’s a submissive one.

Men are happy with their vice – by indulging in the world of hyper-sexuality and porn…but women never are! Which woman actually believes they’re beautiful enough? Good enough?

What the hell’s THAT about ladies? Seriously!

We’re allowing companies to target and condition our youth to become MINDLESS.

Our silence and indifference gives them permission.

WHY are we doing this? Because it’s good business? The more we say that, the more we pave the way for another to push the ethical frontiers. I’m beginning to wonder if there are any left.

Seems like a free-for-all.

The infuriating part is that we could ALL sell-out and make a quid the fast way.

We ALL have the capacity to steal. We ALL have the capacity to cheat. We can be unkind, selfish, greedy, hateful – but for the majority of people – we’re decent.

Question #106: So, why are we letting the men in power dictate how they will feed off ALL of us – men, women and children – in this detrimental way?

All’s fair in love, war…and capitalism, it seems.

I wonder, with a heavy heart, if the line above does encompass the general attitude amongst the masses…

Again, I hope not.

This is a worthy cause, isn’t it?

Deep Breath.

x

Pass it on. Speak up. Anything to help create change.

The following is one of many issues that has me livid – more at the apathetic attitudes of society, than anything else.

There is true misogyny in our culture – and it is malevolent. It has always existed towards women of all ages, but as it steadily moves down the ranks, it just makes me wonder at what point we’re all going to kick-start our protesting voices and do something about it. Misogyny is now targeting our Tweens or, as my high school students inform me, ‘Twelvies’.

Last week the disgusting Facebook Page, 12 yr old Slut Memes – a site that used photos of ‘Twelvies’ already on the net (or sent in by others), to then make degrading and sexist comments – was finally closed by the two 19 year old Queenslander men/boys/creators, studying at QUT.

But not by Facebook – they defended it to stay live and still do. The end truly came for these guys, when reports the Federal Police would investigate were heard. So they pulled the plug (although they vow to be back) – but Facebook still thinks sites like these are just fine and dandy.

This is evidenced by the fact that many copycat pages have sprung up in its place and are not only staying, but spreading – like venom – by supporters and perpetuators of this way of thinking.

It pains me and fills me with despair to see this type of behaviour unfold – with permission. Doesn’t it stir the same indignation in you?

Melinda Tankard Reist wrote this great post covering this atrocious state of affairs. Its title is a quote from the men As long as there are sluts we will put them in their place.

Sluts. That’s misogyny.

Now, last week I heard outrage and FURIOUS anger over the Speaker of the House, Peter Slipper having sent lewd text messages to another bloke. The pitchforks have well and truly been pulled out by our purer-than-driven-snow, holier-than-thou, fellow Australians and they are being kept handy by the front door – but only when it’s connected with politics, it seems.

Question #103: Are you willing to put those pitchforks to good use and stop pages like 12 Yr old Slut Memes, that do SO much more damage than text messages that were sent by one man to one other?

There is a virtual library of photos out there (taken by an obsessed younger generation) – pictures of young girls looking hyper-sexualised – that these men are exploiting because it’s just. so. funny.

But all those girls are someone’s daughter…and more often than not, come from good parents; parents who are fighting a battle against a media campaign that is breeding boys who become men like these 19 year olds…

…and girls, of course, who participate in their own exploitation. This look is the fashion, after all.

How do we do what’s right?

1. We channel our outrage where it’s needed, by stopping misogynistic sites – whatever and wherever they are – that have Internet reach and;

2. Teach our girls that their worth has NOTHING to do with their fervour to look a certain way to gratify boys’ sexual preferences (based more and more on porn), possibly gain their approval and therefore attain some sort of validation.

In terms of the text messages sent by Slipper (which were filth, by the way), I’m pretty sure that if you checked the mobile phones – hell, even just the Facebook Pages and statuses – of maaaany men, you would find much, much worse.

How about fighting them? This Facebook page had over 200,000 ‘likes’ (followers). Surely that’s more damaging and alarming than the texts between two men.

Ironically, last week’s incensed reaction from the public, turned a searing spotlight on those text messages – that were also leaked and given a massive amount of importance, fuelled by the media – messages with content that, should it be heard coming from a band of guys at the pub, would not have made anyone bat an eyelid.

The definition of misogyny is: a hatred of women.

But yesterday, the Macquarie Dictionary added a definition to the word:

a deep prejudice against women.

This article from the Financial Review, Macquarie misogyny definition change reignites gender debate discusses the change.

I believe most men fall somewhere on the sexism spectrum and only men know where they themselves sit on that particular fence.
Wherever it is you sit – guys – will determine whether you think sites like the 12 Yr old Slut Memes deserves your action or whether you think it’s funny.

Do you think it’s funny?

How about channelling some indignation towards helping liberate our world of the endless and ATTAINABLE hatred of females infecting our world – especially on women and young girls like these. It is the sphere in which our kids and teens are developing and it’s an emergency.

Do you think you could rise up against that?

Start writing emails – start taking your business elsewhere – anything.

It worked against Alan Jones…keep going.

Deep Breath.

x

Miss Representation Screening

September 3, 2012

I held the screening for Miss Representation tonight and it was simply fantastic.

SO much food for thought – so many issues I’ve already discussed in previous posts and will continue to talk about – more than ever.

I want to thank those that came along to support a teacher who took a chance. I am totally chuffed. I also had the giddy honour to have Melinda Tankard-Reist from Collective Shout come along.

This is just a quick post to show a few images taken by a friend. I was all geared up to take an awesome shot of the audience – nearly 100 – but I was so nervous that I completely forgot!

I introduced the movie…(knot in my throat)

…and had a post movie chat after the show where a few people made some comments – if I let them get a word in edgewise! Haha!

Thanks again. And I hope that together we can start to make the changes in our lives with the young people developing around us, create a ripple effect and start to make some fantastic and positive change.

Love to you all.

Deep Breath

x

It feels like we’re entering (if not already entered) a paradigm where power is highly sought after – but the ‘responsibility’ that comes with that power, is being neglected.

This issue of the Lingerie Football League (LFL) is getting me quite fired up. I’ve been having a small ‘discussion’ with a man on my Questions for Women Facebook page. My last comment to him is at the end of this post.

His perception, like maaaany, is that we need to take a ‘chill pill’ about the whole thing.
I must admit that my first response to him had some bite because, like many comments I’ve read before, men compare something like the LFL to the uniforms worn by Beach Volleyball players (for example).

They see the difference and that alarms me deeply.
That one is a uniform adequate for the sport and the other is lingerie with garter belts?…and ‘accidental nudity?’ According to an article written by Melinda Tankard Reist:

“Players have to sign contracts agreeing to “accidental nudity”. There’s nothing accidental about it: flesh exposure is virtually guaranteed. The contract states: ” … Performances hereunder may involve accidental nudity. Player knowingly and voluntarily agrees to provide player’s service … and has no objection to providing services involving player’s accidental nudity.”

If they wear any additional items of clothing under the lingerie they will be fined $500. Apart from All Star matches, they are not paid. And they are at serious risk of injury. In fact, the league brags about all the injuries suffered by female players.

It is a mix of voyeurism and violence.”

Now – the most important point or argument put forward:

“But they’re doing it of their own free will.”

Are they? Really?

Well, yes, literally they are – but is the decision an educated one? If you think of the quote, “You can’t be what you can’s see” (Miss Representation), these women are products of what they’ve seen around them, as they’ve grown and developed, and now they’re simply making the image grow, as it tragically becomes ‘fashion’ or worse, the norm. It’s a growing emergency because the more girls and young women are ‘fed’ this image, the more they feel the necessity to join up…

…and don’t the guys just love that they do.

After all, human beings have that uncanny knack for doing things that may not be the best for them – especially it feels good. Right?

And this is where I need to state – quite emphatically – that I don’t begrudge people of their desires. But I need to ask:

Question #46: Where do we draw the line? Where’s the responsibility to our youth?

I believe these young women DO need our help – make it our responsibility, seeing as the men in power are only looking out for themselves – because these women haven’t had much else to model themselves on. They’re insecure of their worth and need validation. They’re told by men that they’re ‘hot’ – paid nothing (in most cases) – and are ultimately exploited.

I continue to be completely (and sadly) gobsmacked that this LFL was permitted to come to Australia. The presentation game is in Sydney in two and a half weeks, so please make sure you vote against this on Change.org:

http://www.change.org/petitions/triple-m-stop-the-promotion-and-support-of-a-lingerie-football-league-in-australia

I think there may even be two different petitions going. Sign them all!

Deep Breath everyone!

x

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Facebook comment:

I feel sad that you don’t see that this sport is sexism at its worst and that images of women looking like this, are wallpapering our world.
I actually played a spot of women’s rugby at uni in Armidale and I agree with you, we were pretty entertaining…but we weren’t in our underwear.
You see the difference, don’t you?
If you still don’t, then yes we’ll have to agree to disagree.
This ‘sport’ only exists to exploit women to service men’s desires.
Otherwise they’d be in the best protective gear.