I have to say that this is one of those conundrums for me.

In my quest to continually question the imbalance of our existence – I wanted to explore why we continue to shroud this illusive appendage in such an opposing way to women’s objectification.

I was listening to Triple J the other morning and comedian Wil Anderson was on the radio.
He was discussing the rule with men – that you never look at another man’s penis whilst at the urinal.

OK I get that. It would be an invasion of privacy.

But it just made me wonder – what’s the big hoo-ha about the penis, anyway?
Why all the mystery?

At the beach last summer,  I saw quite a few three-quarter length board shorts being worn – protecting its owners from exposing even the hint of a bulge.

No more speedos anymore. No sir-ee.


Is it to hide its size?
Or protect boys and men from the gaze of other men?
Is that something that’s feared?

Surely if it were for the gaze of women, there wouldn’t be a problem…right?

I know it’s the fashion at the beach – but you can’t disagree with the juxtaposition; that men seem to be more and more covered, whilst women are more and more exposed.

And not just on the beach.

In the movies – for example – we NEVER see the penis.

Why are men afforded such privacy?

Why are women not?

We have fully naked women on the screens (the big screen as well as the smallest) and yet it doesn’t matter how much time passes – how much we ‘evolve’ – the penis remains mystically cloaked from human gaze.

It must be nice to know – if you’re male and in the movie industry – that you’ll never have to make that choice, whether to have your penis filmed or not.


Men are not vulnerable; like women are vulnerable.
And a man’s vulnerability – it seems – is his penis.
A woman’s? Her near or complete nudity.

The second issue I have with the penis, is its massive (no un intended) irony.

As much as it is used and wielded as a weapon throughout the world and is seen as the symbol of manhood – it is also a man’s Achilles Heel, so to speak – is it not?

As Betty White says:

“Why do people say,
‘Grow some balls’?
Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you wanna be tough,
Grow a vagina.
Those things can take a pounding.”


Is this post an attack on manhood?

No – it is not.

Do I want to see penises plastered all over our screens?

No – but there shouldn’t be a Holier-than-thou style, cover-up either.

A penis is just a penis.

Or is it?

So, I ask again – what’s the big deal?

I have never been more moved by a piece of footage.

Patrick Stewart – who played Captain Jean Luc Picard in the Star Trek, The Next Generation series – is a man whose answer to a question from an audience member of Trekkie fans, has left me in complete awe.

What an absolute legend. So articulate and succinct.

Whether man or woman – watch this – because he speaks to us all.

A beautiful and intimate message, full of action and promise – and balance.

See it to the very last frame.

Question #163: Is it possible to think we could reach this sort of understanding and action us toward change?

I really, REALLY hope so.

Deep Breath.


Question for men – #4

November 4, 2012

More men like this, please.

This is a post by Melbourne writer, Guy Sigley – reposted by Melinda Tankard Reist – reposted by me.

One man’s plea to other men: take a stand against sexism.

Question #108: Is Guy right about men?

He doesn’t seem to be taking it personally – like a lot of men do – when issues of sexism come up.

More men like this…please.

Deep Breath


Guy Sigley

Happy Fathers’ Day!

September 2, 2012

It’s Fathers’ Day today in Australia – I’m not sure about whether it’s the same in other nations – but I want to give a huge and heartfelt ‘Woooo Hoooo!’ to all the great men – especially dads – who are fighting the good fight.

Men who simply want a better world for both their daughters AND sons.

Men who will guide and nurture, but most importantly model the fantastic virtues that men carry.

As I’ve always said – in this world that is thirsty for balance – we NEED men to be true men of character and sit side by side with the qualities women bring to the table – and raise our children.

So a toast to you all today!

I hope you all have a wonderful Fathers’ Day – full of love, family…and not too many pairs of socks and ties! Hahaha!

Love, Paula


Six Months.

July 10, 2012

It seems incredible, but it was six months today – in the very early hours of the morning – that I started writing this blog.

This is my 80th post, yesterday I passed 8,000 hits and asked my 70th question.

Woooo Hoooo!!

When I started, I thought that I’d run out of things to discuss. I had a few things that I definitely wanted to say, enough people in my life had heard it! – Haha! – but I was actually nervous about running out of steam.

But I’ve been proven wrong. It seems there is a plethora of material and actions to question – as we try to navigate through the machine that’s become a monster of consumption and lead our children through it.

There are two main objectives that I want to explore – in my true quest of balance: a) question how society (the village) is raising its children – by mainly asking women what they (we) can do to change our circumstances and b) hold a mirror to the huge amounts of outstanding and wonderful women out there, who are so clear and strong as to who they are and inspirational role models.

On a daily basis, I hear about unique women and all I want to do is write about them!…but then something pops up in the media that I need to discuss and put these lasses on the back-burner. But I promise to focus more on the ‘good’ – for a more balanced perspective, of course! *wink*

The time factor is an issue. Although the school holidays are currently affording me a pause from the crazed, daily routine and giving me the opportunity to write – the end is nigh and it’s back to full-time work on Monday. I’ll write when I can, even though my desire to do so outstrips the pockets of time available. Shorter pieces, maybe…although I can’t seem to stop once I get on a roll!

Thanks to all of you for joining me on this journey. At times I feel a little disheartened about things – will we actually be able to put on the brakes a bit? Not stop, just slow – but there are also other wonderful moments when the comments and insights you give me, fill me with hope – plus the fact that there are many, many other voices starting to be heard. That’s the way!

The picture below is me – now – in the glow of the laptop…literally on my lap!

I look forward to more conversations, comments and perspectives, from both women AND men; young and old. Ideally I would love more teens and young adults throwing in their thoughts…that would be awesome!

Basically, everyone’s welcome – without judgement; only questions and chats.

Tell your friends!

Deep Breath.


Just a quick observation.

I was watching The Project last night and one of the stories was about an annual competition here on the east coast of Australia:

The Face of Origin…

…for The State of Origin, of course.

As usual, the women all looked the same – long hair, lots of make-up and fake tan, little amount of clothing etc. etc. Snore. Snore.

I actually wonder how the guys pick the ‘winner’ out of the bunch…eeny, meeny, miney, mo?

Anyhoo, that’s just one angle – the obvious one – but here’s my question to you:

Question #65: Why can’t the ‘Face of Origin’ be a guy?

It’s a $20,000 prize.

Twenty THOUSAND dollars!!

So why can’t it be a guy? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a guy represent the ‘face’ of Rugby League?

With that sort of money – I was curious as to what you thought…

Deep Breath.