This is me…
January 30, 2012
Thought I’d add a face to all the questions!
It’s funny though, I started to look for a photo that looked ‘OK’ – I mean, it’s going out there for all to see…
Will I look stupid? Will I turn people off? (Haha!) etc. etc. The curious thing, is that I recently said to my husband (and posted to all of you), that when I look in the mirror, I think I look great – but when I see photos of myself, I think otherwise.
So incredible how we continually beat ourselves up, hey? Do guys do the same? Maybe.
So here I am. I’ve chosen two photos – even one with the eye wrinkles! *wink*
Now that we’ve been properly introduced – I’d love to hear from you all! *big grin*
I looked into the mirror…
January 25, 2012
After arriving home from being “professionally developed,” and having just driven through one of the many torrents of water falling over Sydney (and everywhere else on the east coast – get your goggles on!), I decided to get into my j-mamas (as my daughter used to call them when she was little. *smile*).
So, as you can imagine, I’m not looking the best….but I looked at myself in the mirror. I took a long look. And do you know what?
I like what I see.
As I pondered on this, it dawned on me that things really started to turn around for me, in many areas of my life;
when I liked what I saw.
Now let me explain that my long look in the mirror today, started with me noticing how peppered with greys my hair was. Then I proceeded down to my forehead – a road map of creases; my eyes – lots of lines of varying width; and some pigmentation to the skin that seemed to start after having kids.
But I’d rather have lines, than not move.
Yes, when I lift up my eyebrows in front of a mirror, there is that tiny recoil at how deep-set those wrinkles are – but I know that when others see them, it’s coupled with the reaction to a great story or excitement…
When I laugh, I want my face laugh with me!
I don’t believe a man, however, has the same pressure. In the media, there isn’t a repeated, ‘beautiful’ look for a guy – one that’s wallpapered in everything he sees, making him feel pressure to conform to its guidelines. The media says that a man can look and behave in MANY different ways and women will still find him attractive. Have you ever seen shows where the couple comprises of an overweight, plain-looking male and a gorgeous, thin woman? Would you ever see that show in reverse? I don’t think so. Look at that horrible show, Two and a Half Men. I don’t know about you, but Charlie Sheen’s character and OUTFIT, were foul. And yet scores of women were lining up, gagging for him. Please.
For us, though, there seems to be a small window of what’s considered ‘beautiful’ and that image IS wallpapering our world.
No, men can gain weight, look any way they like, age gracefully (and some not so gracefully) – but we love ’em all the same.
Question #6: Why can’t we love ourselves in the same way that we love our imperfect men? Why can’t we extend ourselves the same courtesy?
Not loving our own, UNIQUE beauty, but rather obsessing with an unachievable ideal (see the link in my last blog posting), is sending us crazy!
It’s making us spend SO much more money than guys, in All areas of fashion and grooming – trying to do what exactly? A woman who’s unhappy with the way she looks will never be able to ‘fix’ herself because another wrinkle will always appear and the skin will always continue to loosen. This equals a woman we think ‘has it all’ but is ironically as miserable as the rest of her gender. Just look at Olivia (and countless other women in the public eye).
LOVE.WHAT.YOU.SEE.
I bet you that when you do – really do – everything else will start clicking into place. It did for me. x
A scary photo.
January 23, 2012
I feel a tiny sense of betrayal…
I saw this image today and thought, “What has Olivia done to herself?”
An important question because she looks disfigured and plastic – and she was a naturally, stunning woman before she started to be unhappy with what she saw.
So now she looks like this.
Does anyone else see a bit of Jack Nicholson’s The Joker in that smile? This is not where I feel a sense of betrayal – I just feel sad for her.
“What? Sad? But, she looks FAB-u-lous!”, some women might say. “Why not? If it makes her happy.”
Well, I agree. If it isn’t hurting anyone ‘Live and let live’ ….but….maybe it is hurting someone.
So this is what BAFFLES me and where the sense of betrayal comes into the picture;
Question # 5: Why are we rewarding our fellow women for LOOKING unnatural?
Why are they flattered on TV by hosts? About how great and beautiful they are, when it’s OBVIOUS that they’ve had ‘something done’….and look weird.
I don’t get why they would want to fashion their looks around the same ‘doll-like’ look. Again, no sense of being unique.
Are we really saying, “Good.On.You.” to women who have the money to demonstrate, to us all, how they feel about their inadequacies in the public eye?
Well yes, it seems we are – because we look up to them, make them richer for it AND start our path modelling ourselves on them – along with their feelings of inadequacy. This is because, in essence, it’s an unattainable image, so we feel bad about ourselves. And now that women’s images are ALSO altered on a computer – what hope in hell do our young girls have, in attaining a healthy self-image? (Click on the link below for more on this)
I’ll repeat the title from the previous post: “You can’t be what you can’t see” – and what our women, of all ages, are seeing nearly everywhere, is FAKE.
I feel like there’s only one clear message – “Girls, you TOO can be a success – but only if you look like this.”
Surely we should be saying, “Wow”, to naturally attractive, sexy, older women and plastering their image all over the place. Helen Mirren, anyone?
If you watched the trailer in my previous post, you would have seen that “Women hold only 3% of clout positions in telecommunications, entertainment, publishing and advertising.”
That means that this look and many others we don’t like, are ultimately being decided upon by men.
FACT. Not male-bashing, just a fact.
So, what are we to do?
* Teach our young (and older) women that:
If she truly believes she’s beautiful, she will RADIATE that everywhere she goes – I mean, look at the alternative – those women in the public eye showing the exact opposite. And do they think they’re beautiful? Probably not. They would always find flaws; something to fix.
* We also need to teach our young (and older) MEN that:
There are more wonderful facets to a woman, than the way she looks – despite what the media is showing them.
I’ll leave you with a You Tube posting that needs to be shown to as many young women as possible! It’s great.
On a personal note:
It’s back to full-time work, for me, tomorrow. I’m back to the preparing and professional development stage of school – before the kids start next week. I’m so new to blogging, I don’t know if I’m doing it right. My goal is to write a few times a week – but I’m not sure how that’s going to go when I’m in the full swing of high school teaching, caring for my family, chores, sleep etc. etc……but one thing’s for sure – I wish I could just do this all the time. *smiling*
Questions for Us 