An important question for men and women. Equally.
July 9, 2012
I have a two-parter today. Women need to see this – but I really need to get some thoughts from the guys’ end of the fence. Unfortunately, what I’d really like, is to hear some young men’s perspectives, but I doubt they read this blog – so, seeing as you older lads know what’s going on inside a male’s mind, I’d love your opinion AND input as to how we can change things around.
Firstly there is a short going around, similar to Miss Representation, but instead looking at how the sexualisation of the current culture, is developing our future men:
There’s a question in the piece that asks:
“So where do guys get the idea that women are play things, eye candy and sexual objects for our enjoyment?”
As the question is being asked, a scene from a movie is shown, where a stream of attractive women walk in – dressed in lingerie – who then all bend over in front of a male who’s stunned, while the other, Adam Sandler, directs the girls to do it.
So degrading. As a woman, it’s hard to watch.
“The answer is, quite honestly, everywhere.” – they say.
True. It is. It’s at saturation point.
BUT!..and this is where I repeat that I’m not anti-male – you can’t have a stream of women bending over…WITHOUT WOMEN. Without their consent.
So, if our girls are lining up to pander to this heterosexual male fantasy (porn) behaviour and look:
Question #69: What are we, as a society, doing to instigate this?
Can it be changed? Pulled back a notch? Can we (you) stand up and do something to help gain some control of this spiralling problem?
OK – Part two.
A 20-something year old guy started a ‘bed of shame’ idea on Twitter, getting guys to take photos of themselves next to the woman they’ve spent the night with. Click here for article. It was so popular over the weekend – inundated with photos – that he’s doing it again. Filth.
Question #70: What do men think about the accessibility and ease guys have, to be able to do this to women?
I know what I think about all of this – and I’m sure you have a sense of what I think too…but what do YOU think? About any of it.
Is there a solution?
Leaving it with you.
Deep Breath.
x
A response – #2
April 23, 2012
I’ve received another great perspective (thank you), in response to my last post and I thought that seeing as I want to encourage a conversation – I’ll answer it here.
One part read:
I think as well part of the reason women wear such revealing clothes is because we can now, we have reached a stage where we have a right to wear revealing clothes and be in charge of our own bodies, there shouldn’t be anything shameful in wearing something flattering for your body. I don’t think that girls wearing short skirts or dresses is a *pick me* situation at all, in fact most wear them simply because they are in style not because they want to be picked by a man.
I completely agree that women have come such a looong way in being able to choose how to dress and being in control of their own lives – as well as many other advancements. But what I saw on Saturday Night was young women choosing to have a look that has, throughout the decades been equated to one word – SEX.
And that’s OK. I’m not a prude – I think it’s great that women also have more control over their sexual decisions.
BUT, this is the moment where I wonder where the empowerment is – because this look is purely to sexually arouse (heterosexual) men…
…it’s the image attached to porn – something created to service men’s desires; an image that has saturated our world, as shown in A visual presentation, since the internet truly hit our shores.
The word ‘flattering’ is the last word that comes to mind (for me) when I see this look because there’s nothing left to the imagination, nothing for the guy to discover – it’s fully out there.
Whatever happened to mystery? Showing a hint of the sexual woman inside, to engage a man?
I have seen VERY sexually alluring women with beautiful and stylish clothing; a low v-neck top, showing a long neckline or a short skirt to show off great legs – but a bit more conservative with the rest.
A taste.
What’s out there appears to be something tacky – when it’s every sexual looked rolled into one. There’s only one message. My husband, a very hot-blooded male, agreed with me – it was a visual candy shop for guys.
Is that it? Can’t we do better?
The reason I ask is because this fashion is filtering down to our young girls – as young as Primary School. We all know that’s true and for the most part, I think people are concerned about this. Why? Because it’s a sexual look and it primarily attracts and arouses men. *massive concern*
Another part read:
I really don’t understand what you mean by girls looking the same while boys all look different, as far as I can tell when it comes to clothes men have a far smaller variety of choice than women.
Men have always used the same clothes for well over a century – as I wrote before – pants, shirt, flat shoes. I was refering to the ‘type’ of guy we saw – not what they were wearing. When it comes to clothes, they don’t have to really make a choice.
But women do. So why not choose a fashion that has sexual allure, steeped in style and mystery?
Again, I really would like to repeat – I’m not criticising these women. I just think they’re worth more than their ‘appearance’ of a stereotypical, male sexual fantasy. Whether girls dress like that for fashion or not – it’s what the guys are interpreting, about women, that matters…
Question #35 …and in this man’s world (which it is) how can we EVER gain empowerment from this look?
We are giving them the look THEY like and, more importantly, the look they chose for us through shows, music videos, men’s magazines etc. etc.
Deep Breath
x
It’s time to act.
March 28, 2012
OK ladies – and gents.
This new hyper-sexualised look for our girls and young women is going viral. VIRAL. There is also a type of guy that is going viral.
These boys and girls/women and men, keep feeding each other in this vicious circle, which is slowly but steadily, unleashing a beast that is going to eventually break free of its chain. I cannot stand by and watch this happen.
A friend just posted a comment about a van she saw with the following caption sprayed on it:
“Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care!!”
Disrespect against women. Only there/here for one thing – etc etc.
Well, it’s time to take some action.
Step One: The following link has a petition with Change.org, against the selling of porn t-shirts. PLEASE sign it! *pleading face*
http://porntees.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/lets-have-some-fun.html
Step Two: The reason this petition has been started is because the urban clothing store CITY BEACH is teaming up with Nena and Pasadena (the worst group who create porn t-shirts) to scout for new ‘models’ for their next campaign.
Our girls.
It is now necessary to let CITY BEACH know that they will NOT be receiving your business while these t-shirts are a part of their merchandise. This needs to be done and it needs to be loud. Young people especially – you are their market. Find ANOTHER store that doesn’t sell these t-shirts and give them your business. But be sure to let CITY BEACH know they are losing your business. If it isn’t being bought, they’ll have to pull it from the shelves. TYPO did.
I am posting this picture again. I saw it in a CITY BEACH front window, whilst I was with my daughters:
Pursuit of Happyness
His hand is between her spread legs underneath her underpants. When I asked the girl to take it down, she said, “We’re not the only ones.”
Enough said.
The following images are from the Nena & Pasadena line, actually on their t-shirts:
Question #27: What effect will images like these have on the healthy sexual development of our boys and girls?
I hope you can join me in making some noise, for the sake of our daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, cousins and ,dare I say, mothers.
Yes, us too. If young men think that all girls are like this…well it would mean that all of us mothers are wicked pole dancers!
x
Let’s start at the very beginning…*Black Comedy included…
February 10, 2012
Where does it begin?
In my Year 7 class yesterday, we were discussing the different ways in which we communicate. In relation to their writing, I was explaining that if their brain gets used to typing ur instead of your, they’ll occasionally slip and write it the wrong way when they’re at school. A female student explained that when you’re chatting you need to do it quickly so that the other person doesn’t think you’ve left the conversation. At this point, a boy in the class calls out, “Or maybe they just think you’re fat.”
I was momentarily speechless (and for those who know me, that’s an uncommon occurrence).
There were a few things that didn’t sit right with me. The obvious one was that he managed to slip that irrelevant comment in, without thought for the girl he was talking to, but the most surprising part was that nobody in the class flinched or seemed to be overly concerned.
How did our kids become so desensitised at such a young age?
I made it very clear to this boy and the rest of the class, that that sort of comment is completely unacceptable.
So, how early are girls being initiated into the world classroom, where the lesson taught is, “Your worth is in your looks”?
I know that this is not the experience of every girl – but there’s a TV show (of course) that they can watch, where the subliminal messaging begins.
Three words: Toddlers. And. Tiaras.
The fact that the word ‘Toddler’ is in the title, just disturbs my core.
Now, I have only ever seen part of an episode, which I used for one of my Drama classes, and all I have to say is,
I – don’t – get – it.
Granted, I don’t know how it all works – for example, does every girl get a trophy? (there seem to be a lot). If that’s the case, then that would make it a pointless competition
….and there it is – the word COMPETITION.
Looks are fleeting. One day one may be deemed beautiful, the next one is not.
Then what?
What does a little 5 yr old feel when she’s told she’s not the prettiest?
Enter her again? And again?
What lesson is she gaining? That people will only truly love her when she’s dressed up and spray tanned to within an inch of her life? Dancing provocatively to adults?
I don’t get it.
Isn’t this a win for paedophiles? Seriously, they can access images like the following off Google. Why are parents (especially mothers) encouraging and exposing their babies in this way?
This most famous toddler star (who I saw doing pelvic thrusts on Sunrise when she was in Australia) is also being Photoshopped. Photoshopped! I found some other images of different girls, where the eyes have been made MUCH bigger, and together with the airbrushed skin, it made them look weird.
Why does the image on the left (below) need to be Photoshopped in the first place?
I have so many questions because there is no logic to this madness. I can’t even fathom the damage this would do to a person of ANY age – being told in a beauty pageant that they’re not beautiful – let alone with these young developing minds.
FUNNY PART
Let’s watch some satire.
The following link is very funny.
It’s Tom Hanks giving a satirical look at the ridiculousness of all this.
Now that you’ve had a laugh – riddle me this:
Question #12: What do mothers hope their daughters gain, from being subjected to this kind of ‘competition’?
Guess who’s back!
January 21, 2012
This is a catch phrase of my husband’s, when he enters a room the girls and I are in. Makes me smile.
Anyhoo, I’ve been on a small beach holiday with my hubby and two girls (9 and 5)….and no internet connection! I’ve been itching to write but there’s SO much to say and (hoping to) discuss with you all. It’s a bit daunting, actually. Where to start….
I could start with what I saw on my holiday; where a lot of my impressions about how things are, were reinforced.
What is it with the MAJORITY of girls wearing their ‘summer uniform’ these holidays? You know – shorter than short, shorts; singlet top with visible bra; sandals/havaianas. (Or the classic short shorts with ugg boots, bungalow bunny look….in summer….hmm). I haven’t got a problem with shorts, OR a visible bra, OR sandals/havaianas (I have both) – I do, however, have two problems with this outfit:
Firstly – IT’S A UNIFORM!! At my high school, many female (and male) students take up arms on the uniform front and verbalise that stale argument, “It’s just clothing, it won’t affect my learning” – and then go home, get changed and look, pretty much, like most other girls. (Boys do this too – but the way they dress is for a later discussion).
The irony of this kills me. They look like clones. To coin another phrase in the same blog – my good friend Lily recently went to a formalish party and commented on the ‘cookie cutter’ outfits – spray tans, short dresses, visible bust, platform shoes – does anyone else see Bratz Dolls?
No sense of individuality or of being unique – one in a million.
Secondly – The amount of girls using this outfit to express a tone of sexual availability, is not only on the increase, but being expressed by girls who are younger every time I look.
I passed a group of five women in the supermarket this week. The first two were girls in their early teens, looking particularly spicy in their ‘uniform’; flicking hair, chewing gum and showing big, doughy eyes behind heavy eye make-up. The next two were girls aged about seven or eight. They took my breath away a little, because they were as equally decked out but with no obvious make-up…..still…..as I continued on, a bit wide-eyed at the young ones, I look up to see the fifth woman – the mother. She may have been the mother to one or all four – but they were all a feast of visual candy.
And we’re supposed to look, right? Isn’t that the point?
Last year on Australia Day, in a similar beach town, I saw a teenaged girl – she looked about 18 – wearing a bikini top with short denim shorts. The zipper was half undone and on her stomach she had drawn an arrow pointing down to her crotch with the word, ‘Heaven’.
WHY???
But it’s not just at the beach. On a recent train trip to the city with my daughters, a loud, mid-teen girl sat in front of us. She was swearing and speaking quite loudly, which made you look at her. What did we see? She was basically wearing a bra, a cup size too small as she was spilling over, with a tight singlet top that covered a bit of the bottom of said bra.
WHY???
I mean, you have to understand that I’m not a prude – I’m not offended or going *tsk, tsk, tsk* – but I do truly wonder why SO MANY of these young girls are sending out such a strong (and dare I say, possibly dangerous) message, through their ‘choice’ of outfit. Has the term ‘self respect’ disappeared from these girls’ vocabulary?
So I’m wondering:
Question #4: Where’s the guidance?
Questions for Us 