The oldest profession?
May 10, 2014
The newspaper, The Courier Mail from Queensland, published the following full-page article, this last Sunday 5th May, called:
Pie and Coke No Joke with the sub-heading Supersized Happy Hooker Deal.
Happy Hooker.
(shaking my hanged head)
This abysmal article is actually advertising the idea of ducking out in your lunch break (if you’re male) and having sex with a prostitute as a part of a meal deal:
A pie, a Coke and a POKE! – as they so disgustingly put it.
The most malevolent part of this article, however, is one of the first paragraphs that reads:
‘The midday rendezvous is also discreet, enabling clients to duck out and still be home for the wife and kids in the evening.’
So it seems we have well and truly arrived, people – adultery is now something we are literally endorsing in the paper today.
Well…why not?
I’ll come back to that question.
This article encapsulates how the lines of ethical and moral behaviour are ever being erased by the human race for the sole purpose of making money.
On an even more profoundly disturbing level – we are the participants of a world which ensures males have every opportunity to immerse themselves in the sexual and objectified images of females, which in turn forges their perceptions of what females mean to them.
So in this skewed modern-day existence, which sympathises for a small stereotype and dictates we should empathise with the poor male who can’t get any sex with a ‘regular’ girl and needs to purchase a female body to penetrate, I ask this question:
Question #202: Why does ejaculation have to happen inside a female?
(or in her mouth; or in her anus; or on her face etc.)
It’s the sense of entitlement; that’s the problem.
Whether in a relationship or not, males (prominently, as a species) act as though they are owed access to female bodies – and in the way they want; to varying degrees, of course.
If one thinks logically, without emotion, and with use of reason – we know that, commonly, it’s deemed one has ‘had sex’ – when he has orgasmed and, generally, in her.
I find that what we quickly choose to ignore is that female bodies are on the frontline in prostitution; ‘servicing’ male, after male, after male and we ignore those who find themselves trapped in this insidious industry – one that too many have arrived at due to horrible childhood experiences or unimaginable circumstances. And it is insidious, when you see (like in this case) the words ‘fun recreational pursuit’ in the same article that’s promoting adultery.
When the demand (male) is SO high, the supply (female) has to come from somewhere.
Therefore – surely – only logic can deduce, at this point, that female bodies are ultimately being used as commodities for ejaculation. It’s just dressed up in different ways.
This is an ad for a perfume that’s visible at the front of many Myer stores around Australia at the moment.
She is naked. She is painted like a gift. She has a bow-shaped bottle in front of her spread legs – ultimately, the gift. The perfume is even called Bon Bon – how delicious!
This subliminal messaging that every single human being absorbs as they walk past images like these, is palpable.
Adults – so desensitised they don’t even notice; Children – are learning.
Vaginas are for sale. The ultimate prize.
If we step away from prostitution and marketing and look away from our ‘developed’ world, we see that this dogma is sadly and tragically firmly rooted in our species’ psyche.
As I write this, it is highly probable that nearly 300 Nigerian girls are being sold off; making the hundreds of males who purchase them, very happy – some reports say for as little as $12 for each teenage girl.
We all know that once purchased, they’re only going to be treated in horrific ways – and just one of those ways will be to violate them repeatedly with a penis.
Sex: All Female; Race: All Black
So back to the earlier question – why not endorse prostitution and adultery?
Well, it seems that the only ones who take the opportunity of using their free right to speak their thoughts, think it’s all just simply terrific.
Following are some of the comments (just a snapshot) made on the Courier Mail FB page. There were hundreds of comments left and most are like the ones that follow. An interesting observation to note, is that the popular philosophy seems to be shared by both genders, either through ‘humour’ or gender stereotypes.
I find most of these answers disturbing and have highlighted some phrases.
Spelling mistakes are their own.
* People have to pay bills too, and whilst a legal brothel isn’t illegal, what’s wrong with it? If women feel there husband is cheating on them, find out why? Is it because you don’t put out, is it because your hubby is no longer physically attracted to you due to all that chocolate ladies desire so much or do you have just one too many headaches that you really should get attended to by your Dr? (m)
* Chuck in a smoke and you’ve got a deal (m)
* Get a life! Its one of the oldest professions world wide. If it wasnt for brothels allot of people world wide would have to result to there hand forever and would never get some booty staying a virgin till they die lol so chill out and dont be so negative about it. (m)
* It’s one of the oldest trades in history. Been around a lot longer than any other job. It’s going to be there forever so people may as well just accept it. At least they have a job and aren’t on the doll sapping the money from the state (f)
* I think if you make the money work for you by paying bills etc. Why not? It’s clean, and nothing wrong with it (f)
* If the availability of prostitutes can help to reduce the amount of rapes and attacks on women and children, then I’m all for it..! (m)
* I would have thought given the circumstances a sausage roll would be more apt ?? (f)
* Same (f): Munch is on me! + Gives new meaning to the HONEY IM JUST GOING DOWN THE SHOPS TO GET A PIE AND A COKE haha
* What a great marketing tool. Thinking outside the box !!!!! (f)
* Why are people so harsh on hookers, if it’s what they want to do for a living then leave them too it, it’s not like we live in Cambodia or Thailand where children are abused. As long as they’re adults and consenting, leave them alone! (m)
* Oh for god sakes you angry nasty sexually frustrated woman …get over yourselves . These woman are working and pose no threat to your relationships . The skanky home wrecking hoes you are so threatened by are actually at night clubs, pubs and facebook lol…and they give it up for free in the hope of stealing your worthless unfaithful man . Instead of a linch mob …why not host a few lingerie parties and learn how to satisfy and keep your man at home and between your sheets? Or get a man who is satisfied by what he has at home ..some men will never be faithful. (m)
* Gives new meaning to a ‘Happy Meal’ (f)
* Can you get fries with that? (f)
Responses: Do you mean ‘flies’? (m) + Thought lice would be more appropriate (m)
* “Crack” the daytime market. LMAO (m)
* It’s a job bet half those putting these women down gave it out for FREE before they became stiff housewives with self hate issues. IF your hubby is paying for it chances are you can keep him unlike with the tarty women who steal husbands. (f)
* ha ha, two Pies for the price of one (m)
Question #203: So do we still have nothing to worry about?
I don’t think so. I don’t think so.
I’ll leave you with a comment that I saw on FB in regards to this article:
‘While Sweden, Norway, Iceland and France move towards defining gender equality in a way that prohibits men buying women, our country is believing the lie of sex sellers and moving further and further towards normalising men’s entitlement to women’s bodies. It is not a human right to purchase or get sex, prostitution is exploitive and the sex trade is dehumanising.
Have we reduced the act of sex to a product and a woman to the wrapping?’
Deep Breath.
What we’re watching…over and over and over again.
November 28, 2013
It has recently become more painfully apparent, that there is a common thread to what we consume when watching a screen – whether large or small.
Stories of boys and men. Males.
Please understand that I have no problem whatsoever with these kinds of stories – many of my favourite movies fall in this category – but over the last 10 years, it’s become a tad tedious.
Endless stories of boys coming of age – men fulfilling their destinies – older man taking younger man/teen/boy under his wing etc. etc. etc.
But where’s the female equivalent?
I recently asked my husband why he doesn’t watch women’s sport and he answered: “I only want to watch the best.”
I was dubious of this answer because I thought: ‘Women are the best of their sports too.’ To explain, he used a sport he doesn’t watch – Boxing. He said that if he were to watch a boxing match, he wouldn’t watch a featherweight fight, he’d want to watch the biggest and strongest men battling it out. The best.
I actually understood. I even think most people would agree with that logic.
OK. Soooo…
Question #192: What do we worship about women on an equal level?
And it IS worship. Sportsmen with flames superimposed behind them on TV snippets, slow motion footage, both males and females equally celebrating them and what they do. Worship.
If men are physically strong and we honour that about them – what do we honour about women?
We can’t have a world where one half of our human race is continually watched, nurtured and guided to feel they can achieve ANYTHING and not have that same respect for the other half.
But that’s exactly what we have.
So what is there? I asked this of my husband but he had no answer or chose not to.
The only thing I can think of – is porn; there is nothing else.
Now, let’s have a squiz at what’s happening up on the movie screen.
The Bechdel Test comes from a cartoon strip by Alison Bechdel from 1985, in which ‘The Rule’ for evaluating films was explained:
In order to pass, the film or show must meet the following criteria:
- It includes at least two women;
(Some make the addendum that the women must be named characters)
- who have at least one conversation;
(Because of quibbles regarding what length of time makes a valid conversation, some have proposed the addendum that it last at least 60 seconds)
- about something other than a man or men.
(The exact interpretation of this can vary; some feel that it’s okay to mention a man or men so long as they’re not the primary subject of the conversation, while others will demand a conversation where men aren’t mentioned at all. Some make the addendum that the conversation also cannot reference marriage, babies, or romance)*
Most films – sadly – fail this test.
Have a look for yourself. TV shows too.
In her 1929 essay A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf wrote what she observed in regards to the literature of her time:
‘All these relationships between women, I thought, rapidly recalling the splendid gallery of fictitious women, are too simple. So much has been left out, unattempted. And I tried to remember any case in the course of my reading where two women are represented as friends. They are now and then mothers and daughters. But almost without exception they are shown in their relation to men. It was strange to think that all the great women of fiction were, until Jane Austen’s day, not only seen by the other sex, but seen only in relation to the other sex. And how small a part of a woman’s life is that; and how little can a man know even of that when he observes it through the black or rosy spectacles which sex puts upon his nose.’
How fascinating…and depressing.
Nothing. Changes.
So what is it with us?
Why do we find it so hard to watch women in equal (but different) representation to men and boys?
Deep Breath.
x
* http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/TheBechdelTest?from=Main.TheBechdelTest
Question for men – #6: If I put it this way, will you understand?
September 26, 2013
I really hope so.
Although, this is for women too – of course. I’m sure there are many who will disagree with me.
I apologise for my absence of late – it seems the strains of life as a full-time working mum have pockets when they take their toll. I’m sure many working mums can give me an exhausted ‘amen’ there.
This bit’s for the guys. (You can listen in, though, gals)
Last week, I escaped with Hubby and the girls to a National Park for three days, with zero phone reception and no Net. It was sublime and enormously relaxing – which was just the ticket, as I think I was heading toward a ‘system overload’ situation.
Having access to the world would have rendered the whole mini-break pointless, as the crappy things that are going on profoundly affect me.
So, my first ‘me’ activity on the first day, was to pluck the hairs off my legs.
Mmmmmm – I hear ya – exciting stuff.
Now I know that I said in my last post on this issue – A hairy moment – that my only manner of removing leg hair was through shaving, BUT I had purchased a new ‘machine’ and after recently slicing the top off a toe knuckle with a razor (infuriating and bloody painful), as I attempted to balance in the shower to shave, I thought I’d give the ‘hair yank’ another shot.
Exfoliation and cream galore will be needed to stop the usual ingrown hairs.
So as my legs started to welt – Exhibit A:
– my daughters entered the room, looking quite perplexed, and asked why I was doing that. Like I was a crazy person.
At that moment, guys, what am I to say?
The truth? – that less than a hundred years ago, this became the ‘fashion’ and sealed our doomed fate to constantly undo what nature has given us?
Or our truth? – that they simply have to and will spend a truck load of money in the process?
I sat there – blinking (with the sounds of crickets) – and just looked at them.
Blank.
Question # 184: Do you see the conundrum we’re in as women?
At every turn – it’s JUST about our looks.
And that attitude permeates everything to do with women.
I want to instil in my girls – in ALL girls (and dare I dream it; boys and men) – that beauty absolutely comes in all shapes, colours…and (heaven forbid) hairiness.
But how can I teach that when I’m sitting there – intentionally – ripping the hair off my legs, leaving them in welts?
I felt a bit like a fraud.
So, I’m still a feminist who will not let my leg and armpit hair grow, because it’s entrenched in my views of beauty – BUT can you understand the frustration?
Before some of you guys say you have an equal problem because you have to shave your faces – I’ll respond with. ‘But by beauty standards you don’t have to.’ Exhibit B:
We have to…and it’s a bummer.
OK gals, this part is for you AS WELL. (Don’t go anywhere yet, fellas)
No, hair removal is not the number one issue that women face – by a long shot – women have much graver and more horrifying problems to face and deal with, on a global scale.
I wrote about this because I needed to explain the simple frustration of women (with the means – like myself) choosing to shave their legs, at the expense of all our wallets – men’s and women’s – AND the environment.
Imagine the plastic (as an example) we’d have saved from being produced, if this weren’t the fashion for women?
And the resources to MAKE that plastic? It’s mind-boggling when hair removal is a billion dollar industry.
All for what? Hair?
Sadly, the logic doesn’t translate to the already converted – like me – but:
Question #185: Should we really be doing this to ourselves and imparting it onto our kids?
It’s like men can be as hairy as they want to be and are steered away from their feminine aspects (which balances them out) – being ridiculed for being a ‘girl/woman’ in any way.
Whilst women have to rid themselves (preferably) of all body hair – except for the hair on the head, of course, which has to be long and cascading locks. (Another extreme beauty expense, BTW)
Women are being steered away from their wonderful, rugged strength (which balances them out) because those masculine traits – whether they be physical (looks) or in attitude – deem them ‘unladylike’.
We’re missing out on the best of ourselves.
We’re a bunch of idiots.
Deep Breath.
x
The answers to the quiz.
September 17, 2013
Here are the answers to the quiz Who said it? Rapist or Lads’ Mag?
1. ”Use a nylon cord, tie them down and…use them.” RAPIST
2. “Persuading her to fellate you can be a bit of a challenge.” LADS MAG
3. “In the bedroom there’s only one boss…she’ll like you taking charge like a real man.” LADS MAG
4. ”It’s good to [anally penetrate] women because when you have s-xual intercourse with them in the v-gina, they may not feel it.” RAPIST
5. ”You have to keep reminding them that c*ck is king.” LADS MAG
6. “Married women are frequently an easier prospect than unmarried ones.” LADS MAG
7. ”If they conduct themselves as a lady, they don’t have to worry.” RAPIST
8. “You want to pick the loosest, skankiest one of the lot, fetch her a drink and separate her from the flock.” LADS MAG
9. ”Girls purposely put up a bit of a fight before s-x to not seem easy, even if they want s-x …they enjoy the back and forth of having the guy ‘try’.” RAPIST
10. ”If she is drinking, that’s already a point in your favour.” LADS MAG
11. “I eased my way into the ranga and banged her senseless. After a few minutes me and my mate swapped and his girl was a real good f— too. I… finished up all over her [breasts].” LADS MAG
12. ”Cut your ex’s face, then nobody will want her.” LADS MAG
13. ”You think [she is] so dewy-eyed she’s never sucked d*ck before? She knows how it works.” LADS MAG
14. “Is she fragile? Then how about you let her know she’s being f—ed?…Women just really want to get f—ed.” LADS MAG
15. “All women that get turned on enough will try anything.” LADS MAG
Yes. Only four out of the fifteen were said by convicted rapists.
Question #183: Do you still want these magazines available for our sons of any age?
Do you want men to think of our daughters in this way? And then act?
We have to get rid of them.
Please help.
Challenge newsagents, petrol station owners – ANYONE who perpetuates the spread of this evil.
And yes, I do believe it’s evil because when a man’s advice is that a woman needs to be reminded that ‘c*ck is king’ then it could be any one of us that gets that reminder.
That’s misogyny – hatred.
It’s sick and it’s in a magazine with no age restrictions.
Deep Breath.
x
Stay tuned.
September 9, 2013
I have been very absent from here of late.
I have to say, it has been quite hectic this last month.
Due to work, I was away from school for two weeks and away from my family for one of those.
Although the two weeks away were hard work, it’s the return to full-time work after that absence that’s hectic. Full ON.
Add to that the cold I collected at the end (and four days with absolutely no voice – yes, my family was happy! Hahaha!), meant that after working all day, doing the after-school routine, either cooking dinner or cleaning up…or both, bedtime for the girls (you all know my pain) – I just wanted to slump into a chair and was only able to interact on Facebook.
For now, everything else has dropped off a bit including my newish relationship with Twitter…and this blog.
However, there’s another reason.
A much deeper and sadder one.
Australia just elected in a new government two days ago and I’m deeply, deeply disappointed by the result.
We all ‘knew it was coming’ (a phrase that was bounced around SO much, it passive-agressively directing the gaze of the masses), as we were inundated with biased reporting during the excruciating period of the pre-election campaign.
In my heart I think the wrong government won.
I was very saddened to hear that 4.5 billion dollars will be cut from Foreign Aid.
It makes my heart heavy.
All I want is a better world for everyone who’s on it because, quite frankly, who am I to get more than any other person on this planet?
Who is Rupert Murdoch to get more?
Why did Australia vote for one of the richest men on the planet to influence these elections (see above image), have his way with the NBN – AND get richer from it?
What has he ever done for us? Foxtel?
You pay him for that too.
Isn’t he lucky that Australia was so compliant?
I think everyone who voted Liberal, should all get a cash handout for it, don’t you think?
A special thanks from Rupert. He can afford it.
He won’t though. He’ll keep it in his pocket as will the new government, whilst others languish in starvation, are immersed in violence and have no. way. out.
They do actually – Australia.
Umm…actually no. Not welcome here. At all.
In fact we’ll pay the people smugglers money for their boats.
(???????)
Yes, Australia voted for THAT.
There are so many more issues, but I simply can’t.
BUT – it’s a democracy and here we are.
So today I find myself wondering, “Now what?”
Together with a group of extraordinary activist women, mainly from Collective Shout – I am helping organise the campaign I mentioned a little while back; taking on the need to get rid of misogynistic magazines like ZOO, off the shelves of ‘family friendly’ locations like the Newsagency, Coles, etc.
We all know the furore there would be if there were even ONE magazine of this type found in a child care centre – but noone really bats an eyelid to the fact that:
1. they’re everywhere,
2. have no age restriction for purchasing and
3. that kids of too young an age are being exploited, with the hyper-sexalised, objectified and misogynistic images and DISCUSSIONS of women.
Here’s a shot I took at a petrol station.
As we can see there’s ZOO, at the entrance of the store, flanked by Woman’s Day and New Idea:
Oh, so that’s where they’re positioning it now. Always at pram height too.
Question #181: Does this worry you?
I’m starting to feel that with the majority of this country, the answer is ‘No’.
Maybe it’s because they see the logic of having a woman whose underwear is falling off her, seductively showing how ‘hot’ she is – burning for it – placed at the entrance, because it makes more money.
Maybe it just doesn’t matter to them that it’s someone else’s 11 year old son buying it.
That’s their problem.
I know there are people out there – many good people I’ve met through this blog – who will be standing with us.
But we’ll be the minority.
This election just handed me that most disappointing and depressing lesson.
But – I’m here – I’m not going anywhere – I have about 2 million more things to say and DO (one of them being this upcoming campaign) – so please, stay tuned.
Deep Breath.
x
Such a rewarding day. Totally chuffed.
April 18, 2013
On Friday, the last day of term, my colleague and I ran a workshop with our Yr 10 and 11 girl students (aged 15-17 yrs old). We looked at the objectification of girls and women through the media and ran lots of workshops to help them navigate through the tripe they’re being fed, looked at what is beautiful (them – exactly as they are) and how to be a voice in this saturating, hyper-sexualised society.
The boys, of the same year groups, were in a separate location, journeying through the harms of pornography and participating in workshops to help them with all the issues they face as young men. They are also being fed false ideals about what it’s like to be a ‘real man’ and are also in strife. The wonderful feedback I got from this workshop is that the boys drew up a contract, their words, as to how they were going to treat women and they all signed it.
Fantastic.
The dynamic psychologist and teacher, Collett Smart of FamilySmart (and who was one of the original board members of Collective Shout) came to talk to both the boys and the girls together. She reinforced a lot of what we had covered up until lunch…and more.
It was such an inspiring day, that I’m still a little giddy from how good it felt to run a part of it.
I was up first and for an hour or so I covered what the girls are being sold by the media – more importantly, how they’re being represented and whether they were happy with it. My aim was to incite discussion and reinforce some Media Literacy with them.
To start off with, I asked them what characteristics we had that made us women. Two interesting things came out of this.
1. The first few characteristics were physical – boobs, curvy, vagina.
2. When I steered them towards non-physical, they came up with some beautiful ones, like compassionate and strong – but I was the one who wrote up intelligent (with lots of arrows pointing towards it).
From this point I launched in to a visual smorgasbord of examples of how women are represented in the media today. Basically one way – hyper-sexualised and objectified.
But it’s not just about ads, shows, movies etc – it’s also important to discuss the effect and consequences of a saturated paradigm, like our current one.
Objectification is the issue. What the girls needed to understand is that once you are seen as an object, anything can be done to you without remorse.
It’s a complete disconnect and is why the argument, “That could have been your sister” (for example) doesn’t work. Their sister is their sister, whom they love. An object is an object.
As Collett later told them (and the boys) – the Porn Industry now has to compete with the Porn Culture of our media. The images looked at in the dirty magazines of yesteryear, are now on billboards selling sunglasses/jeans etc.
So in order to keep their addicted masses, mainstream porn has to be bigger and far more violent. Women’s bodies are the commodity; bodies which only last between three to six months, before they’re tossed aside. Broken.
I showed the girls the following clip from Canada which covers a lot of what I wanted to discuss:
Notice how ludicrous it is to have the men portrayed that way?
We can’t do anything else but laugh about it because it’s not a reality for them – although they do have their own fair share of issues.
We watched the following Lynx ad by Unilever, being discussed in the States. The reason I showed this clip is because there is one female panelist in a studio full of men. Watch their reactions (nothing surprising).
What’s interesting here is mainly the woman’s take on it. It seems like everyone agrees – if it makes money it’s OK.
And the men’s reactions? Well, nothing out of the ordinary. Does that mean that we are also desensitised – seeing ‘boys just being boys’?
This led me to discuss the Porn Culture which surrounds us and how that’s become the ‘fashion’ now. I showed them more clips and what it means to them. I discussed this concept in my penultimate post: The fine line. A chat with teens.
I could have talked about this FOREVER, but time was short. I finished with the trailer for Missrepresentation – the wonderful documentary I hosted a screening of last year – which perfectly encapsulates the serious issue of our gender’s representation in the media.
My colleague then tackled, What is Beautiful?
We looked at photoshopped images and got the girls to do an activity, where they put stickers on each others’ backs with positive phrases about their characteristics.
They loved it.
We talked in groups about some possible party scenarios, looked at sexuality and relationships and finally encouraged them to be a voice – to call out injustices and be a sisterhood to each other.
After lunch the boys and girls came together to listen to Collett Smart.
She discussed issues such as the truly damaging effects of child pageants on young girls (affirming from a very tender age that the only validation a girl can have is through her looks) through to hearing the tragic story of a teen girl who survived a rape.
She reaffirmed many of the issues we had discussed with the girls earlier in the day, which gave those messages more strength – Yay!
But there was one important point that Collett made, that stayed with me – it resonated:
She said the path toward a better social existence between girls and boys; women and men – is mutual respect. There seems to be a huge portion of the responsibility laid on boys and men to respect women, but women and girls also need to respect men.
Bang.
Question #155: Are women truly respecting men in this hyper-sexualised, porn culture?
It’s a tough question, but we need to step back and look at this through a balanced perspective.
Both genders play a role in perpetuating a state of existence.
Both men and women. Boys and girls.
Something to ponder.
At the end of this day, I hoped our girls left feeling a little more empowered about their whole selves – not just what they look like – and will become more united as women to cultivate that word – RESPECT – in themselves and those around them.
So it was no surprise that I actually cried a little when I saw the following messages from some of the girls, on my Questions for Women Facebook Page:
“Hey Miss,
I just want to thank you and Miss Fitzgerald for your talk today. I honestly feel so empowered to change the society we live in. I feel so much better about myself and I really want to make a difference in the world. Thank you for opening up my eyes to the world we live in. Hearing what people had to say about me in the sticker activity made me feel so good about myself. To know that people like me for something more than my looks is amazing. You are an inspiration to me and so many others. xx”
“Thanks so much ms. You really are an inspiration xxx”
“MISS ! thank you so much for today ! It really made me think twice about what i do now and the way i see my self. you are a true inspiration and we’re all so lucky and grateful to have you at our school.”
“Thanks so much for today miss! It gave us such a great message in a very fun way. It was really eye opening to many of the girls and it was really good to realise we all empowered each other as women. We love you miss!”
“We’re so lucky to be surrounded by such empowering women!”
My message to these girls was:
“May your love, intelligence, strength and compassion be what shines through and gives you true validation. That’s what makes you beautiful.
You’re all necessary and needed just the way you are. xxx”
I wish I could do this every day. My soul feels full and alive.
Deep Breath
x
Question #92: What do you think?
September 13, 2012
I saw the following segment when I was flicking channels. The sports part of the news came on and…well, you understand. Ellen was on and I saw Reece Witherspoon was coming up…and I like her and so I thought I’d stick around.
But it wasn’t an interview with Ellen, she was having ‘Tea with Sophia Grace and Rosie’.
I thought, on one level, it’s ‘cutish’ BUT for the most part I thought – This is sort of imagery and behaviour that is making our problem worse.
It’s cute, but ALL the compliments, from both the girls and (mainly) Reece, are about what they’re wearing and their attractiveness.
There is a moment where one of the girls breaks into singing a few lines of Adele’s song (Rolling in the Deep, I think it was)…and it’s wonderful. She’s amazing, actually.
So why the circus show?
Question #93: Why can’t we showcase every girl’s wonderfulness, without those narrow, fickle images where girls can only talk about how pretty they are?
I’d love you to watch it and tell me what you think…
Just look at this image…
July 20, 2012
Lily Munroe – a friend I have made through this blog (and has a like-minded blog herself: freedomfrompornculture) – found the following, A-MAZ-ING image, after reading my last post:
Question #76: Do you think this is what’s happening?
I do…
and I’m finding myself getting a little alarmed.
Deep Breath.
x
Ready, Fire, Aim!
July 16, 2012
I have taken a very deep breath and after my off-loading in the last post, I found the second wind I needed from all the wonderful support and great conversations – both online and with friends and family around me.
I still feel the same way as I did in that last post – but now it’s from a clearer and calmer position – and much less overwhelmed as I did a few days ago.
Let’s get to it.
Ready, Fire, Aim!
I heard these words at a professional development day at my school recently – the words of James Nottingham, an educator from the UK.
Our principal said these words – this formula – as a way to inspire positive change in what we do as teachers and I think they’re awesome.
The idea is that we fire – to just do – see how it goes and then readjust our aim. Otherwise we just keep sitting in the same situations waiting for the perfect solution to manifest itself, without trying it out first.
Nothing effective in that.
How are we supposed to get things right, if we’re not willing to try something different? Again, I can hear the voice of Dr Phil making its way through the haze, imploring us to think…”How’s that working for ya?”
I hear MANY women and mothers complain about the state of certain affairs – in everything, mind you, not just in this feminist realm – but that’s all they do…talk about it to each other.
Well, I’m here to say that we can all make small change in one of two ways (or both!):
- Raise your voice and/or
- Choose who gets the benefit of your money.
Just Fire!
To a lot of you, the story I’m about to tell, may not raise any eyebrows and may put your ‘care factor’ at zero. But I care and I think it’s the subtleties like the following, that most people just accept – and we really shouldn’t.
When lines are tentatively crossed, the perpetrators will see what the reaction is – but when there is no reaction or opposition (which seems to be the way of things) – they just draw another line further along and cross it again.
On Saturday night – at 6.30pm – the wonderful, The Sound of Music was on TV and, although I had seen in a gazillion times throughout my youth, I thought it’d be lovely for the girls to immerse themselves in its legendary and geeky glow. How can we forget Liesl going, “Weeeeeeeeeeee!” after her first kiss! It was also cool to see that they already knew some of the songs, even though they hadn’t seen it before…
…and then the commercial break.
We have a new series that’s about to start in Australia called, The Shire – looking at life on the southern beaches of Sydney – through the eyes of a select few, young (of course) adults. It looks like an attempt to do a tacky, Australian version of, Jersey Shore. For anyone from overseas, these are the sort of shorts we’re seeing in the lead up to its inception – Click here – along with the classy promo shot at the end.
So, now you’re starting to see the full picture – one moment we’re all singing along to,”Doe, a deer, a female deer…”and I’m telling my girls that their aunt has pictures of the actual glass gazebo, where Liesl and Rolf sing and dance – and the next we’re assaulted with the image of a blond, heavily made-up girl, referring to herself as a princess, saying:
“I’m so preeeety.”
Worse still there are two girls with little clothing on, in another version of the ad, describing how they don’t like the natural look – with one of them saying:
“I love looking fake – if you weren’t born with it, buy it.”
Well, as far as I know, NOONE is born ‘with it’ – ‘it’ is manufactured – but thank you for getting in my daughters’ ears with this crap.
If there were a visual of me desperately trying to find the remote and change the channel, you’d have a right laugh. But it was what I had to do – because the brain takes an imprint of everything it sees and I simply don’t want my girls seeing this same image of women, over and over again.
And it’s everywhere. It’s exhausting. Even ‘my choice’ not to watch the show is taken from me because (at least here in Australia), the ads are practically half the episode…a slight exaggeration, but you get the drift.
Simply, what’s been made painfully clear to me, is that my kids literally CANNOT watch anything on TV because these ads were not age appropriate – a family movie coupled with ads of spoilt, fake, over-made up and fickle young adults. It really pissed me off.
So now I fire.
- I am complaining to Channel 10. What will come of it? I don’t exactly know, but I do know that when there are enough complaints, the Advertising Standards Board will investigate the issue it’s being presented with.
- I will boycott this show.
Question #73: Can you imagine the effect if everyone did one or both of the above?
People power.
I know that speaking up is not for everyone – but there are always ways to show you’re not happy…especially through your wallet.
If you don’t buy it – there isn’t a product to sell. If noone’s watching, investors will lose money and hopefully learn that they’ll have to back a different kind of show next time.
Simple really.
So if you don’t like a situation – whatever it is – just Fire! Aim later.
Deep Breath
x
PS Just look at the difference…
An important question for men and women. Equally.
July 9, 2012
I have a two-parter today. Women need to see this – but I really need to get some thoughts from the guys’ end of the fence. Unfortunately, what I’d really like, is to hear some young men’s perspectives, but I doubt they read this blog – so, seeing as you older lads know what’s going on inside a male’s mind, I’d love your opinion AND input as to how we can change things around.
Firstly there is a short going around, similar to Miss Representation, but instead looking at how the sexualisation of the current culture, is developing our future men:
There’s a question in the piece that asks:
“So where do guys get the idea that women are play things, eye candy and sexual objects for our enjoyment?”
As the question is being asked, a scene from a movie is shown, where a stream of attractive women walk in – dressed in lingerie – who then all bend over in front of a male who’s stunned, while the other, Adam Sandler, directs the girls to do it.
So degrading. As a woman, it’s hard to watch.
“The answer is, quite honestly, everywhere.” – they say.
True. It is. It’s at saturation point.
BUT!..and this is where I repeat that I’m not anti-male – you can’t have a stream of women bending over…WITHOUT WOMEN. Without their consent.
So, if our girls are lining up to pander to this heterosexual male fantasy (porn) behaviour and look:
Question #69: What are we, as a society, doing to instigate this?
Can it be changed? Pulled back a notch? Can we (you) stand up and do something to help gain some control of this spiralling problem?
OK – Part two.
A 20-something year old guy started a ‘bed of shame’ idea on Twitter, getting guys to take photos of themselves next to the woman they’ve spent the night with. Click here for article. It was so popular over the weekend – inundated with photos – that he’s doing it again. Filth.
Question #70: What do men think about the accessibility and ease guys have, to be able to do this to women?
I know what I think about all of this – and I’m sure you have a sense of what I think too…but what do YOU think? About any of it.
Is there a solution?
Leaving it with you.
Deep Breath.
x
Questions for Us 