Location: Coles – one of the major Australian supermarket chains.
Area: Magazine Section
In the past I have merely done this:

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But today – Wed 7th Jan – I decided I would say something, when I saw this on the second lowest shelf:

IMG_4126

I wrote to Coles to explain my experience in one of their stores:

In my visit to a Sydney Coles store this afternoon, I went past the magazine section and saw Zoo magazine (imaged attached) on the second lowest row – small child height – next to Peppa Pig. I asked a worker who was in the same aisle, who I could talk to about it and he directed me to go to the front desk. My children and I had a few items to buy so I asked the employee serving us in the express lane. I believe she was in a managerial position as she was making announcements over the speakers to coworkers. I explained what I saw and she said that everything had to be placed where Coles says and that there was nothing employees could change in terms of an item’s location – in this case, to put Zoo magazine high up (top) on the shelves. She showed me an example of this with a nearby drink refrigerator; pointing out the sticker which clearly indicates EXACTLY how it must be stocked. She also explained that a recent visit from the person who checks that it’s done properly, was VERY unhappy because it was incorrectly stocked. We – the Coles manager and myself – then moved to the magazine section and when we looked at the labels along the shelves (indicating where every magazine should be) – not one magazine was in its correct place. She removed the magazines and I trust (and hope) that the Zoo magazine ended up being placed high – if it has to go back at all. It would be fantastic if Coles takes the lead and sees the good removing magazines like Zoo from sale would do. It takes a village to raise a child and supermarkets – like Coles – are a part of that village. It also takes integrity. Consumers who want to see sexually, objectified women can access it everywhere – but it feels culturally oppressive when a magazine, sporting the image of a sexually objectified woman on a cover that matches its contents, is being sold at a supermarket chain, like Coles – placed low on its shelving. There were multiple copies of the magazine behind one another, so it was purposely placed there. Do you think it would be possible for Coles to stop selling Zoo magazine and any other magazines of its type? (In this particular store the only objectifying magazine that was on sale was Zoo, so I don’t know if there are others). Thank you so much for your time and consideration, and look forward to hearing from you. Paula Orbea

The following is a cartoon I’ve seen cross my Timeline from time to time, which asks a crucial question:

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Right? Another moment worth noting, was the response the managerial employee gave me when I was suggesting the magazine shouldn’t really be sold there in the first place. Her expression was one of raised eyebrows, looking at the cover, coupled with an expression (small smile?) that suggested it ‘wasn’t that bad’ – and said:

“I reckon you see worse on TV.”

“Yes”, I agreed, “but that’s a whole different issue.”

I don’t understand that kind of statement as an argument; that there’s something worse. There’s always something worse, and then something worse than that. And then worse than that.

That sort of statement argues that one shouldn’t stand and confront the ‘small stuff’ – like the soft porn industry, in this case; an industry that is heavily guiding younger and younger people toward an ocean of porn online (including terribly violent ones) – because there are *other* problems deemed more important for an activist attend to first…generally something in the ball park of, ‘Stop ISIS’ or ‘Get the girls from Nigeria back’.

What I find curious is how people who do *nothing*, suddenly presume themselves the Traffic Cops of Activism. In this case, the Coles employee removed the magazines, for the sole reason that they were in the wrong place. If it were to turn out that the Zoo magazines’ location – assigned by Coles – is smack bang in the middle of them all, I know that this employee would have put them in their ‘rightful place’ – as that is her directive. I’d like to add that this employee was courteous and professional in her conversation with me and that I appreciated her attention on the matter.

As I think of Maria in The Sound of Music teaching the children (through song, of course)about starting at the very beginning, as it’s a very good place to start – so must we. That is the only way change can truly occur – by getting to the roots of behaviour and action.

So have a look for yourselves – in the everyday world you and young people reside and ask:

Question #220 : What’s going on at ground zero?

What lessons and attitudes are being taught through consumption? Well, the selling of ‘soft porn’ (aka porn culture) in supermarkets is one thing, wouldn’t you say?

Deep breath.

PS This is the response I received from Coles:

Dear Ms Orbea

Thank you for your letter regarding the sale of magazines in our Coles stores.

Coles aim to provide customers with a wide range of products that appeal to a broad range of consumer tastes. We are very aware of our responsibilities in relation to the display of various magazines in our stores and we must comply with the guidelines set by the Classification Board and legislative requirements regarding the selection and placement of various magazines.

Magazines such as Zoo and FHM, do not have a classification rating, as set by the Classification Board, and form part of our men’s interest range of magazines.

Coles only sell magazines that are unclassified and to help ensure a comfortable shopping experience for all customers, these particular men’s magazines must be placed in our reading centres within our stores and are not to be sold from the stands next to the registers.

We are sorry to hear that you find these magazines offensive* and have forwarded your comments to our Merchandise Team so that they are also aware of your concerns.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to contact us. We appreciate your feedback and look forward to your future custom at Coles.

Regards

Patrick Chylinski
Coles Customer Care

*[Doesn’t sound like an apology]

And this was just yesterday…in one, 24 hr period:

What’s with all the 12 year old sluts

12 yr old sluts

12 year old sluts

12 yr old slut

12 year olds memes

I kid you not.

No…the saturation of porn – and the fact that the palate of the customer is yearning for younger and younger delights – is having NO effect whatsoever, on our world.

It’s not producing any weird, itchy, ill-feeling – like we’re crossing a terrifying line into uncharted and dangerous waters.

On the contrary! Boys and men are engaging in healthy, respectful and consenting sexual relationships; whilst girls and women are being left alone – by not being trafficked, raped, degraded and violently abused – on one hand, and are not participating in their own exploitation, on the other.

This is good. The search engine phrases above are a sign of a healthy paradigm.

How fabulous that we live in a world which permits such appetites for young girls to be made available – at whatever cost.

However, there’s one infinitesimal positive point in all this (there always is) – and that is the warm, fuzzy feeling I feel inside, when I relish the look I imagine those guys have on their faces, when their search for 12 year old sluts leads them…

…to my blog.

One teeny, tiny blip in their way.

That makes me feel good.

Imagine if I stopped one guy from continuing his search…

Question #107: Do you think I did?

If you think that this is an impossibility, then you – and in turn we – are living a hopeless existence, admitting everything is beyond our control…and we are in some deep shit.

Deep Breath.

x

PS There’s a Facebook page that has the word ‘slut’ in its title (I won’t honour it with its full name), that was started 4 days ago on the 29th October. It only posted for 2 days – the 29th and the 30th – at it already has 307 ‘likes‘.

Yes…everything’s juuust fine.

A short post…although I’ve had trouble posting it. Sorry if it keeps reappearing – this should be it.

Now to the issue at hand…

I can’t believe a woman agreed to pose for this shot.

This shot.

Being violently grabbed – violence being represented in three ways – by a fully dressed man.

Dominated.

She’s nobody. Nothing. Invisible.

Inferior.

So demeaning.

…and yet it’s glamorised with her smoking!

A casual way to spend the evening, perhaps?

What exactly does she get out of this?

Money?

At what price?

More importantly, what did she teach him?

So it comes down to this:

Question #81: How are we supposed to rise above our situation, when women like this continue to participate in promoting our exploitation?

Worse still, they’re becoming more and more mainstream. Just look at your TV. Or your Facebook Timeline. The following is an ad that appeared on a female friend’s Timeline:

Without women…(you complete the sentence).

…Just sayin’

Deep Breath

x

I have a two-parter today. Women need to see this  – but I really need to get some thoughts from the guys’ end of the fence. Unfortunately, what I’d really like, is to hear some young men’s perspectives, but I doubt they read this blog – so, seeing as you older lads know what’s going on inside a male’s mind, I’d love your opinion AND input as to how we can change things around.

Firstly there is a short going around, similar to Miss Representation, but instead looking at how the sexualisation of the current culture, is developing our future men:

There’s a question in the piece that asks:

“So where do guys get the idea that women are play things, eye candy and sexual objects for our enjoyment?”

As the question is being asked, a scene from a movie is shown, where a stream of attractive women walk in – dressed in lingerie – who then all bend over in front of a male who’s stunned, while the other, Adam Sandler, directs the girls to do it.

So degrading. As a woman, it’s hard to watch.

“The answer is, quite honestly, everywhere.” – they say.

True. It is. It’s at saturation point.

BUT!..and this is where I repeat that I’m not anti-male – you can’t have a stream of women bending over…WITHOUT WOMEN. Without their consent.

So, if our girls are lining up to pander to this heterosexual male fantasy (porn) behaviour and look:

Question #69: What are we, as a society, doing to instigate this?

Can it be changed? Pulled back a notch? Can we (you) stand up and do something to help gain some control of this spiralling problem?

OK – Part two.

A 20-something year old guy started a ‘bed of shame’ idea on Twitter, getting guys to take photos of themselves next to the woman they’ve spent the night with. Click here for article. It was so popular over the weekend – inundated with photos –  that he’s doing it again. Filth.

Question #70: What do men think about the accessibility and ease guys have, to be able to do this to women?

I know what I think about all of this – and I’m sure you have a sense of what I think too…but what do YOU think? About any of it.

Is there a solution?

Leaving it with you.

Deep Breath.

x

A response – # 3

June 4, 2012

I invite you all to read the SIX comments an American gentleman left as a response to my last post.

I actually don’t know what he’s on about because he only keeps repeating in bold letters: they CANNOT COMPETE WITH THE NFL.

Over and over again…plus a lot of insults.

I think the springboard for his rant, was my question wondering why the women can’t wear protective gear. I meant mainly skin protection, as they’re being brutally tackled onto the ground, with literally nothing on. Fair question, isn’t it?

He also talks about his country’s superiority and how retarded we are in Australia…although I’m sure he just means me.

That’s OK…

…because at least I have a grasp of grammar and know how to clearly make my point – something this gentleman is lacking.

Superior indeed.

Deeeep Breath.

x

PS The following are some more promotional shots for the LFL.

Question #53: Don’t you think these images cross the line? (especially the second one)

There is no male equivalent. If you do have examples – I’d love to see them.

I’m pretty sure you mostly agree with me…so I ask you:

What’s the lesson – what is it teaching?

A visual presentation…

April 18, 2012

So, why is pornographic material so hard to avoid?

Let’s see…

Here are my Top Ten ‘unavoidables’ – places or ways in which women are depicted as hypersexualised and vacuous:

1. COUNTLESS movie plot lines.

2. COUNTLESS music video clips.

3. This – from a popular movie actress, Megan Fox (one amongst many):

4. This – from a popular female singer, Rhianna (one amongst many):

5. This – from a popular television series for young adults, ‘Two and a Half Men’ (one amonst many):

6. This – from a popular television “reality” show for Gen Y, ‘Jersey Shore’ (one amongst many):

I can’t believe these people have become famous and are rewarded for being shallow and self-centered; with the sole intention of partying and hooking up – episode after episode

*sad, sad face*

7. This – a promotional shot from a popular television show for teens and tweens, ‘Glee’ (leading the way):

Look at Lea Michele’s face (on the right) – and look at his (of course) – and where his hands are…

Is video footage more your thing? Click on the following link and watch the video of the Glee students singing and dancing to Beyonce’s song, ‘Run the World (Girls)’ – from a previous post of mine – A (moving) picture paints a thousand words

8. This – from a billboard (Australia) selling Lee Jeans (one amongst many):

9. This – from a funny internet ‘joke’ (one amonst maaany):

10. This – from a t-shirt sold from popular urban store, ‘City Beach’ (one amongst many):

What I really want to know is this:

Question #32: How much longer do we have to wait until women (like these) say, “No. I’m not doing that.”?

Just one, simple word – No.

Because without women – we can’t see these derogative images.

I can dream that day will come…can’t I?

Deep Breath

x

Sorry. It feels like it’s been a while. Getting to the end of this term (in three more days – wooo hoooo!), seemed to take on a snail’s pace. Last week was full of marking assessment tasks and then this last Friday, Saturday and Sunday I attended an HSC Drama conference – a fully practical conference. I’m buggered.

That’s not to say that I haven’t had a thousand observations and questions wizz through my mind – that I want to chat to you about. I just wish I could get it to you all more often. But – as I wrote in a previous post, The strong, but stretched women around me – the lives of working mothers with young children, are full to the brim. Not many pockets of time to balance the work and the play. At this stage, I am no exception.

So I write to you tonight with a clip and a question.

I saw this a few months ago. The following – entire clip – was a commercial for Glee on TV. It was on at about 7pm and we were all in the kitchen, tidying up after dinner.

These girls are singing about ruling the world

…HOW? Pole dancing?

There’s even a moment where they’re all the floor quickly thrusting on their backs, just before they leap up and show all the boys the strong ‘army’ they are.

All ready to rule…

What? By showing us high school girls in suspender belts – SUSPENDER BELTS – and grinding moves? Look at the faces of the boys as the girls ‘perform’ in front of them – like strippers. *shaking head*

How is this empowering? I simply don’t get it.

Question #28: Is this the only way to show girls and young women true empowerment?

Of course the answer is ‘No’ – yet there it is – for all ages to see, in full colour and sound.

These images don’t paint a thousand words – just six – a mantra: We. Are. Ready. To. Sexually. Please.

If the clip didn’t convince you, what about the following image?

Lea Michele

At the end of the day, this is a woman – who is representing a high school student – for a men’s magazine. *Insert above mantra*

When will these talented and successful women stop and say, “No, I’m not going to sit in underpants with my legs spread. I don’t need to do this.

This is Glee. It makes me shudder to think how many children watch this show and the reach that that message had. Worse still, they put the entire clip as a commercial. Makes it hard to escape.

I changed the channel.

x

PS The holidays will bring more chats…I hope!

It’s time to act.

March 28, 2012

OK ladies – and gents.

This new hyper-sexualised look for our girls and young women is going viral. VIRAL. There is also a type of guy that is going viral.

These boys and girls/women and men, keep feeding each other in this vicious circle, which is slowly but steadily, unleashing a beast that is going to eventually break free of its chain. I cannot stand by and watch this happen.

A friend just posted a comment about a van she saw with the following caption sprayed on it:

“Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care!!”

Disrespect against women. Only there/here for one thing – etc etc.

Well, it’s time to take some action.

Step One: The following link has a petition with Change.org, against the selling of porn t-shirts. PLEASE sign it! *pleading face*

http://porntees.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/lets-have-some-fun.html

Step Two: The reason this petition has been started is because the urban clothing store CITY BEACH is teaming up with Nena and Pasadena (the worst group who create porn t-shirts) to scout for new ‘models’ for their next campaign.

Our girls.

It is now necessary to let CITY BEACH know that they will NOT be receiving your business while these t-shirts are a part of their merchandise. This needs to be done and it needs to be loud. Young people especially – you are their market. Find ANOTHER store that doesn’t sell these t-shirts and give them your business. But be sure to let CITY BEACH know they are losing your business. If it isn’t being bought, they’ll have to pull it from the shelves. TYPO did.

I am posting this picture again. I saw it in a CITY BEACH front window, whilst I was with my daughters:

Pursuit of Happyness

His hand is between her spread legs underneath her underpants. When I asked the girl to take it down, she said, “We’re not the only ones.”

Enough said.

The following images are from the Nena & Pasadena line, actually on their t-shirts:

  

Question #27: What effect will images like these have on the healthy sexual development of our boys and girls?

I hope you can join me in making some noise, for the sake of our daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, cousins and ,dare I say, mothers.

Yes, us too. If young men think that all girls are like this…well it would mean that all of us mothers are wicked pole dancers!

x

The following article appeared in the paper yesterday – a perfect follow-on to my last post.

It hits the nail on the head.

How have we allowed the music industry to portray women in such a soulless demeaning way?

OK. Do you agree?

I’m going to go down Nostalgia Avenue again – Sorry, I can’t help it…

Music and I have always had a close love affair. My earliest memories were of my best friend, Katy, and I preparing endless dance routines in her living room. It had a perfectly placed mirror to be able to watch the ‘magic’ unfold – our best work being a fabulously choreographed number to ‘Copacobana!’
Our dance moves were heavily steeped in 70s disco influences…and we looked fantastic! This music love affair continued with the birth of the walkman – a device I HAD to have. Music everywhere I went? How wonderful! In Year 11, I worked in a chicken shop (called ‘The Game Cock’….I kid you not), to pay for said walkman. My Duran Duran cassettes certainly got a work out…

At this time, music videos really took off. Of course there were music videos before, but they started to take on a new life – it wasn’t just an artist standing in front of a microphone and singing; stories started to be told through the videos.

I LOVED it. There was nothing like watching Countdown on a Sunday night (the cause for GREAT conversation on the bus the next day) or Sounds on a Saturday morning. I remember the pure excitement of waiting for the premier showing of a video….it was simply awesome….*sigh*

Now, I don’t think I sound the same as parents of the day, shielding their burning eyes from the thrusting pelvis of a certain Elvis Presley – I actually love some dance music, House in particular – really love them. I do, however, feel that things have definitely gone down a dark road for women in music videos. The worst part is that many women artists are perpetuating this image.

Pussycat Dolls – enough said. I always felt that they sent out very confusing messages to women – not needing a man being the main message in one song, to tormenting a boy whose girlfriend is not “hot” like her (or a “freak” like her), to practically begging a man to “loosen up her buttons”. But one thing always stayed the same – their videos were like soft porn.

On a different branch, one of the things I feel most disappointed with, is the fact that female artists that made it BIG being ‘wholesome’ and gained a very large, young fan base, all turned to soft porn to sell more albums. The unfortunate part, is that as they were watching the older market of consumers they could ensnare to buy their music (with means that had nothing to do with music), they turned their backs on the young ones, who continued to watch…and learn.

The first words of Christina Aguilera’s song ‘Dirty’ are of a man saying, “Dirty, Filthy, Nasty.” There’s that word again – dirty.

The accompanying video was just what they guys wanted to see – Christina in a dark and dingy boxing ring being cheered on by beefy men, as she danced as though she were in a strip show…I don’t really think it was for us. This was at a time when all of this was starting to warm up.

Here’s a shot of her from around the same time.

Of course there was also Britney – she who performed a lap dance every night of her last world tour, to a male audience member (amongst other things):

Both these women have sons. They will ALWAYS be able to access images of their mothers in this way….forever. It’s such a shame that the allure of more money took precedence over anything else. I wonder if they regret it, now that they’re mothers.

So, there are still music videos on a Saturday morning – but my daughters can’t watch them. Which is a real BUMMER. I want my girls and their future ‘Katy’ dancing to great songs in the living room.

I would love to think that there is a way to make a change with this.

Question #11: How is change possible, when women are helping perpetuate the soft porn image in their videos?