884694-oscars

With interest, I have been watching the reaction to yesterday’s Oscars.
This interest started to turn to a calm, but deep, indignation at how far the women’s movement has yet to go.

Today, Gloria Steinem (legendary) was on The View and she said we’re:

“Halfway there. We once fought for an identity to vote and now we are fighting for social and political equality.”

Yesterday, The Oscars was more than just a night with a few crass jokes.

It went beyond that. This article looks at why it was so wrong.

The Oscars: 5 Things that need to Change

“Consider that sexist comedy alienates at least half of the show’s intended audience. Everyone who managed to endure Seth MacFarlane’s jokes last night deserves an award. As many news outlets have astutely pointed out, a broadcast that should have been about the recognition of talent devolved almost immediately into ugly, juvenile humor. Next year, send a boldface memo to the show writers: No awards show should be a megaphone for jokes whose punch lines boil down to “Ha ha, you’re a woman.”

…and I saw your BOOBS!

It’s just so juvenile.
ANYONE can make these sorts of jokes. They’re a dime a dozen – amongst most teenage boy groups in the western world – and yet we applaud and revere it?

Putting aside Seth Macfarlane using women (predominantly) as the butt of his boys’ toilet humour, he actually sang the names of accomplished actresses, such as Meryl Streep, with the line, “I saw your boobs!”

How old is he? 12? Are most men saying they are too?

On this sophisticated night that is supposed to celebrate the craft – it sounded so infantile and was embarrassing to watch.

Pedestrian. My brain is starving for stimulation. There’s nothing to watch.

I’m in shock that comedian Jason Alexander – who tweeted:

is actually turning his back on his own craft to support the Boys’ Club.
He thinks that’s funny? Well…there goes my respect for him as a comedian.

The worst part of the boob song (yes, it gets worse) is that many of the movies he chose to that these boobs appear in, were ones depicting rape and sexual violence – like Jodi Foster (who was honoured with the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the Golden Globes) in The Accused.

No Respect.
This then paved the way for more.

* Rihanna’s abuse joke, laughs at her and every woman who has to live with that horror.
What about Chris Brown? Where’s the joke about the abuser?? Why isn’t HE being laughed at?

* Jessica Chastain’s character in “Zero Dark Thirty” referred to by Seth as “every woman’s innate ability to never ever let anything go.”

* 9-year-old Oscar nominee, Quvenzhané Wallis, was connected sexually with George Clooney in another ‘joke’ and Clooney was the one who received an instant apology. What??

To add insult to injury, the majority of the male population (yes, the majority because I’m not hearing much opposition from guys) are telling us to zip it. It’s aaallll good.
THEY think it’s funny – and so do all the guys –  so what’s the problem?

Imagine…a HILARIOUS bit where Jack Nicholson’s penis is compared to a shrivelled up, baby zucchini (based on what we saw in a movie) or that Daniel Day Lewis had a flaccid penis and we SAW IT!! Hahahahahahaha!!
No – we will never see that happen because guys wouldn’t do that to each other but…*newsflash* neither would (do) WE!

Do women play a part in all this? Of course we do.
I have always stated that and is the main reason for starting this blog.

But this is about The Oscars. It was shit and men are saying it’s OK.

It’s not OK.

Question #149: Who are we becoming…or have already become?

Deep, Deep Breath.

It’s going to be a long battle.

I’ll be brief.

This petition has come up and it’s important you sign it. It’s to the Advertising Standards Board:

Stop Sex Industry Billboards Outside Schools

This is the billboard:

gEKeRGLIfoybclD-556x313-noPad

So – not only did someone approve this decision – placing an adult club BILLBOARD in front of a boys’ school in Brisbane – it was also complained about and the complaint was rejected.

In front of a boys’ school. Please.
As Verina Rallings wrote – it’s a type of grooming. And it is.

So I ask you:

Why do we even bother with the magic of Christmas?

Going to all that effort to create this fictitious world of wonderment…

What for?

We’re living in a world where the drive to make money has deadened our senses – opening the door to a seedy, underbelly lifestyle and normalising it.

Where did Santa go?

What happens when the belief in Santa ends – at 9 – 10 – 5 years of age?

Shall we dress our girls in denim undies (oh, sorry – ‘shorts’) and teach them how to act in a hyper-sexualised manner, for guys’ approval, with a low-cut top to boot?
How about our boys? Shall we encourage them to learn how to successfully land a bitch whose gagging for it?

If the answer for you is ‘No’, then speak up and show your indignation!
Billboards like this are powerfully promoting a representation of reality that is unbalanced.

I can’t believe we are actually allowing this subliminal coercion of our kids’ minds; rendering their ability to formulate a balanced reality, impotent.

WE have to be the stronger voice in our youth’s ears, not theirs.
Theirs is solely about making a buck…and it’s plastered all around us.

Doesn’t that infuriate you?

Well it makes me livid and disappointed at what we’re becoming.

Please sign the petition. x

Stop Sex Industry Billboards Outside Schools

Deep Breath.

Dr Caroline Heldman (who appeared in Missrepresentation) spoke at the TEDx Youth Conference, for twelve or so minutes – without pause. Amazing.

It’s a bloody brilliant presentation that encapsulates everything that is wrong with our current paradigm – delivered with clear-cut explanations, facts, research and solutions.

She looks at what sexual objectification is and whether it’s empowering.

An absolutely fantastic and succinct discourse.

Question #140: So, ladies – are we going to put an end to this self-destructive behaviour, once and for all?

Deep Breath.

x

27

A cocktail drinks’ menu has come to light.
It’s so bad. The malice is two-fold – not only because of the actual names that were chosen for the cocktails, but that not one person got in its way and said, “No, this is wrong.”

With all the horrific, violent and frequent incidences that are occurring around the world, someone ultimately gave the final OK to this declaration of hate.

527551_467468189967597_787246552_n

What is it? A dare? A challenge?
“We’re not going to stop calling you sluts and you can’t make us!” Is that it?

This is what I wrote on the Spectrum Daiquiri Bar Facebook page:

When you write these horrible terms about women, you write about ALL women – your mother, grandmothers, sisters, daughters and granddaughters. You can’t say, “Oh no, I didn’t mean you” – it doesn’t work that way.
This is hateful – “Shut her up” and “Slut’. These are the reasons men rape.

Even more deplorable still, you make it a poster (condoning rape culture), that young people read as they’re getting drunk – actually helping create a toxic and violent world for women.
Why do you hate so much?
Shame on you.

Condoning rape culture = hate.

I reckon that if you filtered down all the reasons why men rape women, it would probably be because he either sees her as a slut or just wanted to shut her the **** up?

And this bar thought it would be hi-laaaarious to use these contemptuous and patronising labels for women…whilst young people are brainwashed – as they drink their mind stupid.

BUT – we’re not doing enough about this. Yes, things are being said; but not enough is being done.

If we did, this would simply be stopped. WE – the consumer – saying:

“We won’t stand for this. We don’t want it.”

The volume of the good men’s voices needs to be cranked up a few notches. Lots of women have left comments on this bar’s page, but there are barely any from men – showing their dissatisfaction, that is.

C’mon guys! (Spectrum Daiquiri Bar)
Whatever your age – tell them you’re ashamed.

I hope, with all my heart, that everyone simply boycotts this place (in Brisbane).
I’m sure there must be better places to go to, that respect both genders AKA people.
Give them your hard-earned dollars. Invest in something good, which means taking your business elsewhere. Boom.

Question #130: How empowering would that feel?

…plus it would be fun, wouldn’t it? Feeling that use of power for good?

Deep Breath.

x

 

If you have – you MUST read the following article.

If you haven’t – you MUST read the following article.

It’s so well written and clear. I think it succinctly hits the nail on the head – so this one’s a bit of a Feminist Shout Out #6 to you ladies.

50 Shades of Abuse

I would LOVE to hear from those of you who liked the novel and what it was that appealed to you (no judgement, whatsoever – just honestly curious).

Have you changed your mind, now that you read this article?

Question # 120: Is it just another step in our conditioning?

Let me know what you think.

Deep Breath.

x

Screen_shot_2012_12_05_at_121035_PM

I haven’t got time – I’m about to go to our School’s presentation evening.

BUT…I have to share this with you.

This video is made by a young man who has used his voice  – and it’s wonderful.

Spot on.

Question #116: What can we, men and women, do to change things around?

Boys/guys/men: stop pushing your adult sexual urges and fantasies onto our kids (surely it can be interpreted that doing nothing is giving consent to it). Have some decency.

Toddlers in tiaras/sluts/crazy nut-jobs:

WAKE UP!

Look at how you’re being represented.

Question for women #117: Why are we even in the ads/shows/movies/music videos etc. etc. etc. to start with? Perpetuating it? 

Women (as a gender) are helping – in a BIG way – to sell ourselves short. We are CONFIRMING everything that’s portrayed about us.

So that’s why we think it’s reality – but it’s not.

I’m not like that!

I find it gobsmacking that I’ve already had a sex talk with my 9 year old daughter – a while ago, actually – because that ‘slut’ representation is everywhere. Some queried whether she was too young for that chat and I thought, “Too young? My talk as a mother to her daughter, answering her questions, is more scrutinised than what we’re allowing them to see, like wallpaper?”

Our lives should have the tag-line: Parental Guidance Recommended.

Come on…what can we do to have a happier, mental world? To help our girls AND boys.

I have to go.

Deep Breath

x

Two Images.

September 19, 2012

1. This is what we’re capable of – but can’t seem to fulfil.

2. Now, read the above quote and then look down at the following image.

Click here to see a previous post, ‘A visual presentation…’

Question #99: How can we honestly expect to be taken seriously?

Deep Breath.

x

Incredible.

September 15, 2012

Yes – we’ve come far.

No argument.

But, on the other hand, we haven’t.

1897

Same demands, though – including ‘FREEDOM for BOTH sexes’.

It’s time.

Deep Breath.

x

I’ve had an epiphany – a bit of an ‘a-ha’ moment. Well, it wasn’t so much that I didn’t know it before, but more that I was hit with a simple and succinct realisation.

It’s the simplicity of it that is both liberating and equally terrifying – because regardless of its clarity – we are trapped.

You know all the famous modern icons? – I can’t believe what we call them ‘icons’ for – icons like Kim Kardashian?

We’re paying them.

In turn, they spend the money we give them on ‘perfecting’ themselves:

On make-up – THEY DON’T PAY FOR.

On clothes – THEY DON’T PAY FOR.

On ‘procedures’ – THEY DON’T PAY FOR.

Cars – Technology – ‘Gift Bags’ – EVERYTHING!…they don’t pay.

We do.

And then we worship them for creating the image we can never have (as I wrote in my penultimate post Why it’s worse now) and buy more beauty products, clothes, ‘procedures’ to try to replicate it. In turn, we keep fattening their pay packets, as the beauty industry uses them over and over again – making them icons.

THIS IS PURE INSANITY!

This vicious cycle is not only never-ending – its predatory qualities and hunger appear to be insatiable.

OK, here comes a Shout Out.

We are intelligent beings, ladies – VERY intelligent:

Question #87: So why are we doing it to ourselves? WHY?

And we are doing it from both sides – one side (the majority of us) perpetuate it by BUYING into this mono; limiting; ‘hot’ look, while on the other side, we also have the women who agree to represent us so poorly and participate in our exploitation that way.

It’s a trap.

As a fly is digested slowly in the Venus Fly Trap, so are we.

I don’t know about you, but that’s why this clarity is a tad terrifying to me – because its EFFECTS are devastating. Statistics are showing girls and women spiralling into a world of depression and worse. I even know many mothers who loathe their bodies after growing a human being in them – instead of wearing their shape with a pure sense of pride – of the miracles their bodies are.

But, as I said in response to a comment from the above-mentioned post, EVERYTHING IS TAUGHT. Everything.

So it’s time. Regardless of what’s happened in the past – the only way to move forward is to say, “OK, yes, we used to do it like that or accept things as they are – but not any more.

Do not pay any attention to women like Lara Bingle, who so graciously had the following picture of herself taken (which has also been photoshopped to an inch of its life):

…because as I’ve said to my students at school – ANYONE CAN DO THAT! Anyone can have sex. Anyone can take their clothes off. It’s not a difficult thing to do…and yet we end up rewarding women for doing just that??

The challenging and hard thing is NOT doing it the easy way – through shortcuts – as there’s always a price to pay…

…and ain’t we paying for it now!

The irony being that the money from our pockets, provides the funding for more.

I repeat: Why are we doing it to ourselves?

Deep Breath everyone – it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

x

This isn’t a new story really – when fashion meets with unsightly and disturbing images.

The following article from Jezebel click here, contains the response from the European magazine that published the contentious images, to the outrage expressed.

What do you think?

In the comments, there seems to be (what I see as) the typical, knee-jerk reaction – like ‘the dog ate my homework’ of responses:

“If it were a guy, we wouldn’t think twice…”

Uuuuummm…seeing as it’s statistically women who are victims of domestic violence from men…I’d like to see ANY images with men displaying a slit throat for a fashion shoot – furthermore – we all know that if a man were used for a violent image like a slit throat, he would have, stereotypically, gotten that way by the hands of another man…in something like a war shot. The male gender is more violent than the female.

Please understand that that last comment isn’t against all men. Not at all. I’m simply stating it factually, not personally.

Now to the women.

I need to ask.

What are the women agreeing to be shot this way, all about?

…and this question also applies to women who have their photo taken on all-fours for a t-shirt or those who play football in lingerie…just to name a few.

Why aren’t women saying, “No, I’m not doing that. It’s not good for the sisterhood”?

I understand that there is the freedom of expression.

I cherish it.

About me – I looooove fashion. The only magazine I’ve ever subscribed to (and still do), is InStyle magazine. Showing edgy and strong beauty in the women they depict, has a positive influence on us. It’s wonderful and, I believe, empowering. Surely there are some of you out there who know what I mean! It’s simply stunning images of women, showcasing the inventive and unique ways they wear their fashion. Their expression. I can’t afford any of the clothes – but I get ideas on how to play with my limited, cheapy versions! Haha!

Love, love, love!

Question #61:…so WHY does the fashion industry need to use images of women as victims of violence to sell their products, when it ultimately does more harm than good?

Is there no compassion for women who have suffered such atrocities? Especially from the women who agree to be shot this way?

Deep Breath.

x