I feel it’s very convenient to say that by objecting to issues of complete unfairness, women become *shrill, too sensitive, irrational! Can’t be counted on for anything – just listen to them? What? Equal pay? Just calm the hell down. Can’t you take a joke?*

It’s usually how it rolls off the tongue – regardless of the seriousness of the problem, that seems to be falling on deaf ears.

Females are equal to males

Again (I’ll repeat) – not the same – but equal.

Women respect men. Men respect Women.
That’s the only way it can work.

Without equilibrium, NOTHING works.

Some processes are slower than others, but at the moment there seems to be little respect for women in any other realm – other than sexually or in the home…even though the statistics of domestic violence towards women and children  makes one start to wonder…

Question #169:  What the hell is going on?

A picture posted on FB led me to a page called The LAD Bible.
I’m going to post a small selection of the screen-printed images, memes and photos that appear on that page. They have other ‘blokey’ type humour (covering sleeping man’s face with food pieces – haw haw), but it’s not hateful like the following.

So as you look through these, I just want to know one thing:

Is this it?

Is this the type of man on offer for us now?

Lucky us, hey?

Underneath each image, I’ll write the tagline the site provided for each photo:

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1. Good point well made.

Pity we can’t get help from guys about guys. Wouldn’t want to break the bro-code.
Although this is a sexist cliché, I was just curious as to whether we can ask for help in any way.
I have asked for men’s insight in the past on this blog, only to have been rewarded with the sound of crickets.

***

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2. All a LAD needs.

So that’s it? Pizza, beer and tits?
How silly of us to feel like we’re worth more than just objectification, like have an identity…

Why is this girl allowing herself to be photographed in this objectified way?
Who she is as a person is irrelevant.
Who wants to feel like that?

Sadly. There’s an abundance of images like this. So very troubling for both genders.

***

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3. DadLAD

A father’s advice to his son…in her gob.

***

This has been cleverly written, but don’t let it overshadow what it’s saying:

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4. AdviceLAD

This drips in disrespect.
A woman’s ‘characteristics’ appear to be deserving of cheating and deception. Others are sluts. Clichés are also used, like that classic where women just want to marry men for their money. Really? I know a lot of married women and
a) many are the main breadwinners
b) I personally know of only a small number of separations within the large number of couples I know – but in all but one of those cases, it ended because the husband left the wife (and children) for another woman. That’s the more common scenario.

When I posted an article titled, A Shameful Week to be a Man on my FB Questions for Women page this afternoon, a man responded to the part about Nigella Lawson being grabbed around the neck by her partner with:

‘What about all the thieving bitches making a living out of marrying rich men only to divorce them for their money? You think this woman married this monster for love, the same fuckwit husband who offered visiting six year old cigarettes. It’s called karma bitch, marry for love and not money then you might have the right to call yourself something other than a prostitute and then you might find yourself a decent man who would treat you with love and respect. For the record I love having a cock and I’m not ashamed to be a man.’

Thieving bitches? Marry for love not money?
Even when the facts prove glaringly otherwise, this corker always seems to pop up in defence of male violence.

***

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5. A little teaser from the up-coming book.

A book?
It’s not bad enough that our perfection entails cooking, cleaning, sex and a ‘perfect body’ – but we weren’t worth the price and now men bitch about what they got.

Charming.

Worst part is that a boy who looks about 10 years old in his photo, commented: ‘So true’, to the description above. Already an army of young experts in the wings.

***

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6. PoetryLAD

This is hatred of women. I know it’s an exaggeration – but at the same time it’s not.
It’s hatred because women have no other place or role, than to please man – the way HE wants.

***

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HATE.

And it’s everywhere.

How can we NOT call out Enough!?

Question #170: Don’t women deserve better?

The Misogyny Factor

June 16, 2013

A few weeks ago, my mum and I went to the Sydney Writers’ Festival to watch Anne Summers speak about her new book, The Misogyny Factor. Anne has worked as a senior bureaucrat and political adviser, and is the former editor-in-chief of the landmark feminist New York based Ms. magazine.

9781742233840

She was wonderful.

Articulately pointing out logical and factual anomalies in the fabric of our unbalanced existence, in the never-ending search for equality.

Some facts:

  • By simply being female, a woman will earn 1 million dollars less than a male, in her lifetime – 1 million – or the fact that an HSC male (high school graduate) will earn more than a university post-grad female.
  • That the control of a woman’s 1. Financial Independence and 2. Fertility plus the ever-growing 3. Violence against Women, have us in a grand old pickle.

Anne mentioned three words:

Inclusion – Equality – Respect.

These are the words we must ALL aim for – for a better world…for ALL.
We must strive for governments and policies that go about securing us inclusion, equality and respect.

Following are a few of Anne’s perceptions that she wrote in the introduction to her book.
They just resonated with me (well, it all did, really):

  • ‘I nominate the misogyny factor is the obstacle.’ 
  • ‘If misogyny is the theory of women’s inferiority and unworthiness and, therefore, unsuitability to be equal players in our society, sexism is the everyday expression of it.’ 
  • ‘These people believe that, once they are mothers, women just do not belong in the world outside the home. They also tend to have the conviction that all women ought to be mothers and, therefore, confined to the domestic sphere. Such views can be, and are, held by women as well as men.’ 
  • ‘My starting point is the absurdity of a society predicated on a double standard: men can be fulfilled as fathers and as workers, yet we still argue the toss about whether women can ‘have it all’.’

The last point is the crux.
Question #167: Why does this double standard truly exist?

My delay in writing about seeing Anne and listening to her fantastic-ness, was due to the fact that within those two weeks, the news was choc-full of misogyny galore!
And these are just the ones that made the news. The cold and sad reality for many women suffering similar actions go generally ignored or ‘unseen’.

We must start to see…

1.

tyler
We had Collective Shout and many women – from all around the globe – speaking out against rapper Tyler the Creator coming to Australia to perform his sexist, racist, homophobic, hate – with lyrics containing violence against women, such as:

“Rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome,”
“Keep that bitch locked up in my storage, rape her and record it.”

New Zealand didn’t permit him entry into their country, but not only did Australia grant him a Visa, he performed all around Australia in places like the Enmore Theatre in Sydney to all-ages audiences.

???

{A future post will look at how the objection to have Tyler come out here, meant the predominant women who spoke up, received a barrage of threats of rape and violence against themselves and their families, by Tyler’s fans online.}

2.
We had a Liberal Party fundraiser menu – click here – which featured our Prime Minister as a dish, demeaning her down to the features of her body, including her pubic hair.
Our Prime Minister.

3.
PM Julia Gillard was again insulted a few days later when radio ‘journalist’, Howard Sattler, decided to ask personal questions about her partner’s sexuality and pushing for an answer.
He was sacked.
I wrote on the radio station’s FB page:

‘She is our Prime Minister and this dismissal was a good call. 
Like Ms Gillard or not, the job commands our respect.
There would have been justifiable outrage if John Howard were asked about ANYTHING sexual about him or his wife. 
This radio station demonstrated respect for our Prime Minister. Well done.’

4.
Australia’s Army Chief gives a stern warning telling sexist soldiers to get out of the army after:

“Following revelations of further “demeaning, explicit and profane” behaviour by his army members.”

5.
In a moment of go-knows-what, the Socceroos coach, Holger Osieck, whilst being directed to his seat for a press conference, is heard saying:

“You push me around like my wife.”

He then said something in Latin, which he then translated to:

“Women should shut-up in public.” 

These examples all occurred within a two week period – the last four within just one week – two of which were against our female Prime Minister.

Inclusion – Equality – Respect.

I leave you with a question Anne Summers wrote within her introduction:

Question #168: What exactly do we need to do to ensure our society promotes equality and makes it possible for women, as well as men, to live they want?

Deep Breath

x

The language we use #2

June 12, 2013

Just want to say how livid I am about what I saw today.

The following menu is from Mal Brough’s Liberal Party fundraiser:
(for any overseas readers, the Liberal Party is our current government’s opposition)

menu-1

Where Rudd has been called a Goose, Simon Crean isn’t anything harsh at all, but a piece of Tenderloin Steak, where as our Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, has been described as having:

‘Small Breasts, Huge Thighs & a Big Red Box’

I am DISGUSTED.
I find this offensive to women – ALL women – because the men aren’t vilified in the same manner. Period.

Worse still, it happens over and over again – as I pointed out in a previous post: No respect.

Those who claim our Prime Minister has never been treated unjustly due to her sex, can go jump.

Question#166: When will the way we speak about women,  incense all those who read or hear it?

Especially men?

When?

Deep, deep, deep, breath.

x

The language we use.

June 10, 2013

My thoughts on how we speak about women came last year when I read a response Tina Fey wrote to a comment targeting her on the Net.

Before you read her succinct response, let me say that I think Tina is an awesomely, fantastic feminist (teeny crush along with Amy Poehler) using humour to point out the glaringly obvious, like the following:

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I took pure delight in the way Tina composed her rebuttal to an unimpressed fan of her on Saturday Night Live – but I have to admit that the PS left me a tad disappointed:

Dear Internet

 Question #165: Why is it the mother who cops it in the end? 

As much as this world appears to put ‘mother’ on a pedestal – even argue that her prime location is at home, due to her very, very, imperative importance – it leaves me perplexed that mothers are the first to land the insult.

POW!

And it’s everywhere.

In some cases, merely uttering the words, “Your mother…” is enough to send (predominantly men) into a frenzied defence of their poor ma.

On further pondering, I realised something that even I was partaking in.

Not only have I said, Son of a Bitch, countless times – in Uruguay, my country of birth, we use a VERY common phrase – for both sexes:

Son of a Whore, as well as Daughter of a Whore.
 Nice.

Ironically, Tina Fey stated the following – which is bloody fantastic and spot on – and yet she did the exact opposite in her PS sentence:

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Most of us are guilty of incorporating women in our insults – but why?

Why isn’t it son of a…what? Dickhead? Prick? Bastard? Well, the last one is not wholly connected to men.

The fact of the matter is that there aren’t really harsh and hurtful equivalent terms for males, compared to what females are called.
Logical really, seeing as females – especially mothers – are the tyrannous of the world, after all.

I found the following chart (the site I found it on, didn’t cite its origin):

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As much as this is looking at terms relating to being sexually active, many of the negative phrases for women, spill over into day to day insults: slut – whore – bitch…
There are two words missing (actually, I’m sure many more exist) that I hear used often about women:

‘Ganga’ – a girl who likes a gang of men to please have sex with her (aka gang bang).
I’ve heard this ridiculous term said by teens – predominantly girls speaking of fellow girls. A disgrace.

‘C*nt’ – the harshest term to call anyone and a piece of the female anatomy.

Charming.

How comforting it is; to know that our manner of insulting pits all its energy on women and mothers.

Women included. Lots of women.
Including me…but not any more.

Will you join me?

I leave you with the following:

“He actively maintains the power of naming through force and he justifies force through the power of naming. The world is his because he has named everything in it, including her. She uses this language against herself because it cannot be used any other way.”

~ Andrea Dworkin ‘Pornography: Men Possessing Women’

Deep breath.

x

*TRIGGER WARNING – image may upset*

I awoke this morning with mixed emotions.

It was International Women’s Day and I wanted to quickly shout a ‘Woooo Hooooo’ to my sisterhood before getting ready for work, but there was also a feeling of some aimlessness.

Returning to full-time work on the Monday just gone (after caring for my injured husband) and due to the extra workload I was about to encounter – I decided to give social media a bit of a break, so that I could have some time without feeling incensed.

Because that’s what I was feeling.

How could I not?

When Facebook Pages like Being an Asshole, promoting hatred against women, are considered appropriate for viewing, even though it’s been reported for its promotion of violence.

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How can men who defend it not see that by making a joke of this very real violence to countless women, it gives them permission to downplay how atrocious it is??

When a billboard promoting a strip club is placed in front of a boys’ school in Brisbane, is deemed honkey-dorey by the Advertising STANDARDS  Board, when also reported for ‘grooming’ boys – teaching them to be sexually obsessed.

When the devastating statistics about the global pandemic of violence against women, inspires a t-shirt company to create many, many t-shirts bearing slogans such as: Keep Calm and Rape Her or Keep Calm and Knife Her. Amazon was then the place to get them.
(A computer program was blamed for generating the phrases – yet the word ‘him’ doesn’t appear anywhere…hmmm…)

It’s all getting a bit nasty.

Question #150: Could it be a back-lash to our ever-louder voice?

Well, the mixed feelings I awoke with today are due to me believing that – YES – we are becoming louder and stronger and I feel enormously proud to be a part of this new movement…

But is it working? Can we see any change?
We seem to be inundated with violence and exploitation – perpetuated by the Internet, I know – but it still IS what it IS.

An indifference to us – whether active or passive.

I believe we can make a profound change – both women and men…there’s just one problem:

Most are afraid to speak up.

And I understand that fear.
The other day, I confronted my Newsagent  – a more elderly man – about the fact he had Zoo Magazine on a stand facing the street, near the front of the shop. I explained that not only is it bad enough that any kid can buy it, it was unavoidable to see the objectified woman on the cover, from the street.
So even if you choose not to go into the shop, that culture is still in your face. Still being advertised.

I had butterflies throughout the whole exchange. So nerve-racking.
As I left him, he was contemplating the location of the magazine and when I drove by later, he had taken the stand down.

Victory!
A small one, but one none the less…and it felt good.

So, it’s time.
It’s time to join the ranks for a better world for women. We deserve it.
Our nature is a nurturing one and it leaves me profoundly baffled as to why our other half want to continue to keep things the way they are.

I saw an argument by a man saying that he simply couldn’t understand why women wanted equality to men, when we’re not the same.

We know we’re not the same – it would not have made sense for nature to make us the same – but we are equally needed to balance things out.

Yin and Yang.

Yin and Yang

That’s what men and women are – predominantly one gender with a bit of the other. Of course I’m being very general – nature provides a rainbow of variations to this – but you get my drift.

So, Happy International Women’s Day!

I am for balance and I am for all women and hope the good men can join our voice.

An amazingly awesome documentary was made in the States called:
MAKERS: Women who make America – narrated by Meryl Streep.

Watch it by clicking on the link above – see how women have fought since WWII and continue to do so – see our modern-day leaders – be inspired – and join today’s movement.

Deep Breath x

Jodi v Oscar

March 2, 2013

Yesterday, on my final weekday looking after my hubby and having just returned from the hospital (he has a new cast on his leg), we both settled down to eat lunch and put on the telly.
The View was just starting.

Today I observed something which has nothing to do with the show per se (I actually really enjoy the show, the topics and the differing perspectives of the women at the helm) – it is a look at our entrenched human behaviour – leaning toward gender bias.
Well, that’s how I saw it.

In this particular segment of the show, they were discussing all things criminal and the panel had a legal analyst, Dan Abrams, and a defence lawyer, Mark Eiglarsh, to join them and make their comments about current cases.
Before they started, I thought, “This could be trial by media.”

They discussed two big cases.

Firstly: A very big case going on in America at the moment where a woman, Jodi Arias, is on trial for murdering her boyfriend, Travis Alexander in 2008.
He was shot in the face, stabbed 27 times, and had his throat slit.

Jodi Arias

Jodi Arias

The men discussed her now changed statement (having said two different accounts earlier) – which is that she did it in self defence due to years of sexual dominance.
Sounded a bit like 50 Shades of Grey.

I had never even heard of this case before yesterday, so I’m not here to pass an opinion as to whether she’s guilty or not – nor do I want to go into the case to try and work it out – I only listened to what was said during this discussion and the WAY it was said.

I couldn’t help but notice the contemptuous tones of the men, especially defence attorney Eiglarsh, when discussing her; with tiny moments of sniggering and tones of mocking. At one point they discussed her now changed testimony, that she killed in self defence of the deviant man she painted.

Is there any proof that he was a sexual deviant?

Eiglarsh: There’s proof – but there’s no credible proof. Technically the jury has to take into consideration what flows from her lips, but they don’t have to give it any weight.

Why not? Because she lied at the start? Well, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t a victim of sexual violence, of which she is apparently giving graphic detail.

I commented to my husband that it was curious – that we actually do know the devastating statistics about sexual/domestic violence and how many countless women suffer at the hands of it and yet this discussion was only portraying a very one-sided deduction (she’s lying), without a hint of recognition at the fact she may have actually been tormented for years.

At another moment when her actions were questioned, one said she changed her mind because she was put on trial for murder and Einglarsh said:

She’s hoping jurors are addicted to gullible. 

I find that a biased comment. Amongst many.

Secondly: Oscar Pistorius. A guest female attorney, Sunny Hostin has now joined the panel.

This case looks VERY much like premeditated murder. Most of his story seems farfetched and parts don’t actually make sense – yet the lawyers on the show were talking in a tone (that to me) was bordering on a ‘poor guy’ one.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s terribly sad that he has ended up here. Terribly sad.

There were discussions about the fact he hadn’t taken testosterone but a herbal concoction and the fact that it wasn’t ‘roid rage’. When asked more about including that as a defense they said they’ve tried it before in America and “it doesn’t work” and Einglarsh said: “No then you’d have to admit you did it, but it was roids…” (so no).

The clincher for me was when the law analyst says that it seems to be a pretty strong case that it wasn’t an intruder to which the guest woman lawyer says, “I don’t know..” (???) and Einglarsh shouts out the following statistic as he points down on the table:

“16, 766 burglaries alone in South Africa.”

There’s another statistic – 60,000 women and children in South Africa are victims of domestic violence every month.

The police have continually botched up his case AND he’s probably going to get a deal. Hostin also said that he will sit in front of a judge and not a jury, “which will probably…help him.” Why help him? He killed his girlfriend in cold blood or a moment of lunacy. Same as Jodi, just executed differently.

My point of all this is that both of these people committed a crime – both murdered their partner and both have shown inconsistencies with their stories – but I felt like there was an underhanded, conditioned response to these crimes and to me they were swayed by the gender of the perpetrators.

Regardless of the nature of men AND the fact that:

“Violence against women and girls is a problem of pandemic proportions. Based on country data available , up to 70 per cent of women experience physical or sexual violence from men in their lifetime – the majority by husbands, intimate partners or someone they know.

Among women aged between 15 and 44, acts of violence cause more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined.  Perhaps the most pervasive human rights violation that we know today, violence against women devastates lives, fractures communities, and stalls development. It takes many forms and occurs in many places – domestic violence in the home, sexual abuse of girls in schools, sexual harassment at work, rape by husbands or strangers, in refugee camps or as a tactic of war.”
(saynotoviolence.org)

this panel casually sat through a discussion without once entertaining the notion that Jodi (may have) endured what she says she did – knowing that statistically it was VERY possible – and that Oscar, who actually DID demonstrated such violence, may get off through technicalities.

Him? Maybe it wasn’t premeditated.
Her? There’s no way that was self defence.

The big difference I want to point out, though, is that in Jodi’s case, the male victim was discussed – again, as a possible nice guy and not the sexual deviant she was claiming.

Reeva Steenkamp was not mentioned.

Deep Breath

x

If you can, watch it for yourself and tell me what you think. The episode is on The View *here* which aired on the Thurs 28th Feb.

884694-oscars

With interest, I have been watching the reaction to yesterday’s Oscars.
This interest started to turn to a calm, but deep, indignation at how far the women’s movement has yet to go.

Today, Gloria Steinem (legendary) was on The View and she said we’re:

“Halfway there. We once fought for an identity to vote and now we are fighting for social and political equality.”

Yesterday, The Oscars was more than just a night with a few crass jokes.

It went beyond that. This article looks at why it was so wrong.

The Oscars: 5 Things that need to Change

“Consider that sexist comedy alienates at least half of the show’s intended audience. Everyone who managed to endure Seth MacFarlane’s jokes last night deserves an award. As many news outlets have astutely pointed out, a broadcast that should have been about the recognition of talent devolved almost immediately into ugly, juvenile humor. Next year, send a boldface memo to the show writers: No awards show should be a megaphone for jokes whose punch lines boil down to “Ha ha, you’re a woman.”

…and I saw your BOOBS!

It’s just so juvenile.
ANYONE can make these sorts of jokes. They’re a dime a dozen – amongst most teenage boy groups in the western world – and yet we applaud and revere it?

Putting aside Seth Macfarlane using women (predominantly) as the butt of his boys’ toilet humour, he actually sang the names of accomplished actresses, such as Meryl Streep, with the line, “I saw your boobs!”

How old is he? 12? Are most men saying they are too?

On this sophisticated night that is supposed to celebrate the craft – it sounded so infantile and was embarrassing to watch.

Pedestrian. My brain is starving for stimulation. There’s nothing to watch.

I’m in shock that comedian Jason Alexander – who tweeted:

is actually turning his back on his own craft to support the Boys’ Club.
He thinks that’s funny? Well…there goes my respect for him as a comedian.

The worst part of the boob song (yes, it gets worse) is that many of the movies he chose to that these boobs appear in, were ones depicting rape and sexual violence – like Jodi Foster (who was honoured with the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the Golden Globes) in The Accused.

No Respect.
This then paved the way for more.

* Rihanna’s abuse joke, laughs at her and every woman who has to live with that horror.
What about Chris Brown? Where’s the joke about the abuser?? Why isn’t HE being laughed at?

* Jessica Chastain’s character in “Zero Dark Thirty” referred to by Seth as “every woman’s innate ability to never ever let anything go.”

* 9-year-old Oscar nominee, Quvenzhané Wallis, was connected sexually with George Clooney in another ‘joke’ and Clooney was the one who received an instant apology. What??

To add insult to injury, the majority of the male population (yes, the majority because I’m not hearing much opposition from guys) are telling us to zip it. It’s aaallll good.
THEY think it’s funny – and so do all the guys –  so what’s the problem?

Imagine…a HILARIOUS bit where Jack Nicholson’s penis is compared to a shrivelled up, baby zucchini (based on what we saw in a movie) or that Daniel Day Lewis had a flaccid penis and we SAW IT!! Hahahahahahaha!!
No – we will never see that happen because guys wouldn’t do that to each other but…*newsflash* neither would (do) WE!

Do women play a part in all this? Of course we do.
I have always stated that and is the main reason for starting this blog.

But this is about The Oscars. It was shit and men are saying it’s OK.

It’s not OK.

Question #149: Who are we becoming…or have already become?

Deep, Deep Breath.

It’s going to be a long battle.

I have a love / hate relationship with Facebook.

I love my private page as I have family and friends around the world and this fantastic tool affords me the opportunity to stay in contact, see precious photos, share articles and funny memes etc. etc. etc.
I also love my Questions for Women FB page – I can put up articles and quotes to inspire and give a different perspective to life, as well as put up my blog posts.

What I hate, is how Facebook instills a feeling of insecurity and untrustworthiness.

I do not feel like they have our back.

They are always skulking around for your info – to share or sell to the highest bidder. We’re constantly having to change settings – which have been automatically been set to ‘Public’ as a default – when they reshuffle the way their site works.

Always leaving us none the wiser and exposed.

What I hate the most, however, is that they also do not have our back in protecting us from hateful and misogynistic content being posted. Horrible sites and images just being permitted to spread – their toxic nature infecting; normalising. And why?

Because it’s just a joke, crazy lady! Relax.
Sshhhhhhh….

The thing is, though, who exactly IS the person (or people) who make the final call?

I picture a bunch of young guys in a smoke-filled room, eating fast food, surrounded by empty food wrappers, snorting at all the crazy things that are being posted.
Haawww Haawww Haawww!

The reason I say that is because they don’t permit photos of breastfeeding mothers (eeewww – gross!) – but allow pages called ’12 year old slut memes’, which I wrote about in a previous post – That’s not misogyny. THIS is misogyny.

Yesterday Karen Pickering posted the following passionate rant about Facebook:

Fuckedbook

She writes about an abhorrent image she saw on FB (it’s in there *Trigger Warning*), which she reported – twice – but was ultimately deemed appropriate for viewing, by FB.
Karen wrote the following, which struck a chord with what I feel:

I reported it despite being fully aware of a number of truths:

  • that the internet is full of this shit
  • that the world is full of this shit
  • that this shit really happens
  • that we can’t stop it from happening
  • that we can’t stop people joking about it
  • that people laugh because they’re conditioned to dehumanise women to the extent that they do
  • that the people posting it feed off the persecution complex they get that feminists are out to get them
  • that you’ll get one taken down and an even more hideous image will take its place
  • etcetera ad nauseum

Yes, yes and YES! to all the points above…etcetera ad nauseum.

The image, as of today, has FINALLY been removed – but as Karen says, the world is full of it.

It’s hate. It’s misogyny. And Facebook thinks it’s OK.
Facebook must be a man.

So, if women are labelled as a bunch of hysterical banshees, who need to chill-out when they protest misogyny and violence against women, then –

Question #145: What label do the men inherit?

Let me know what you think of the quote below. My interpretation below.

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In what way do think men are stupid?

By seeing what’s happening and keeping silent.

That makes me crazy.

Deep Breath.

x

PS I know many of you would suggest that we all get off Facebook and be done with it. I think that’s easier said than done due to established connections…but if everyone I know and love switches to Google, I’m IN!

One for the boys…

January 12, 2013

But also a fantastic article for all women to read.

Michael J Dolan, self-reflects and awakens:

I was a Misogynist Comedian

It’s sobering to read what ‘typically’ goes into a set.

Question #134: Is this type of guy/man (the unaware misogynist) a big problem?

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To start with a cliché – if I may – I can’t believe how this past year decided to get really serious with us and hit that turbo button. It felt like it was jammed, through every crevice, with work, responsibility, the pursuit of balance, mixed with pockets of frenzy.
Relief in sight? I’m not really seeing how – society, on the whole, appears to want to give us a run for our money…literally.

A year ago today I started this blog in the early hours of the morning. My intention was to start in on the 9th, but it took me so long to write and re-write that first post, that it tipped me into the 10th.

As I took that first tentative but excited step into the blogging world – already preceded by three women friends of mine, with well established, fantastic and unique blogs (shitonyourplay.blogspot.com, www.allconsuming.com.au, bumpyroadtobubba.com) – I wondered two things:

1. Will ANYONE read it? (every blogger’s primary fear, I assume)
2. Will I run out of things to write about?

Well, I’m happy to say that although I only have a small following, a following it is. I’m not sure if my stats are ‘good’ but I have engaged in some wonderful debate and perspective changing conversations.
In terms of point 2 – there’s no way that I can possibly run out of issues that need to be discussed – investigating the infinite tapestry of actions and viewpoints that make up the human condition. In fact I have so many posts in draft mode (29) – I’m not sure I’ll ever get to some of them, as another morsel of importance invariably pops up.

So after the last year, what are the primary questions that are racing through my mind? The following is the nutshell (if you can call it that):

1. Why do women earn less than men?
This is the first and fundamental question. Women have to work approx. 60 days more a year – that’s two months – to earn the same as men. Why? This MUST be the first step of change if we want to even presume we live in a fair, balanced and just society.

2. Why do women not share the equal balance of power and decision-making?
We all have brains and women have incredible, and repeatedly proven, intelligent ones. Pity men don’t see it that way – they are stopping the chance of equilibrium and a more harmonised existence to maintain the status quo.
97% males in positions of power in publishing, communications, marketing…how can that be considered good, by anyone?

3. How are women’s attributes perceived?
No one wants to be a girl/woman – as who we are and what we have to offer is not considered valuable – emotional, weak etc. (unless it’s to be a ‘mother’ in some form or another), so we’re all encouraged to be like boys/men to get to the top, as it’s the ONLY way things can ‘work’.

4. How are women represented in the current popular culture?
We are represented as being grossly and obsessively insecure, vain, fickle and hyper sexualised. TV shows, movies, video clips and Reality TV shows, like The Shire, have played a huge role in this. In terms of advertising, we have always been force-fed the phrase, “Sex Sells” and taken it as law. The only problem is that it’s only our sex that’s being sold.

5. Why are women being exploited for money? Worse still, why do women play into it?
Women are instilled (soon to be from birth – the final frontier) with a sense of massive insecurity. We are painted an ever unattainable picture of what we have to aspire to, to be considered beautiful. To say the perception of beauty is a constricted one, is an understatement. The only way to ‘get there’ is to shell out insane amounts of money, as well as revere those who can afford it…who look like plastic. (???)
My logical brain cannot compute how women allow themselves to be duped in this manner. All of this only sets women up to fail, hate themselves and, in turn, spend more money. We pay more for EVERYTHING – clothes, shoes, haircuts etc. – and yet, look back at point 1.

What about our boys/men?

6. Is the internet teaching our youth about sex in a detrimental manner?
I think so. Especially for boys as it’s in their nature to view porn. As I’ve always said, I don’t think the feelings and hormones have changed since the days of yore – but the internet and its reach did not exist in the past. Porn is much more explicit now. How are boys going to establish loving and respectful relationships with women when they’ve seen woman after woman dehumanised as merely a sexual object? Sex…education?

7. Why do we have a culture actually named, Rape Culture?
Rape everywhere. In every corner of the globe.

8. Why are men’s responses to these issues so defensive?
I find it a tad frustrating that many men take comments made about their gender personally and some even start to actually argue for the (right??) to perpetuate the derogative labels lumped on women: Bitches, Sluts etc… at home, in jokes, in games, in shows, on drinks’ menus…

9. Where are the voices, and faces, of all the good men?
We know you’re there, but we can’t hear you!

So this is the big 10th question for my first birthday blog:

Question #132: What is our legacy going to be?

What can we do to look back and feel proud of how we, as a village, raised our children by moulding a more balanced world for them?

The pivotal word there is BALANCED.

We have to stop looking at the typical cliché, “That’s the way it’s always been and nothing’s going to change.” In terms of how we feel inside – yes, that’s true – but we are in a critical state of denial if we think that the information that is available to everyone, of every age, as they sit at their computer, is not having a detrimental effect.

I believe, wholeheartedly, that we can create change – but it must start with the individual.

Thank you SO much for joining me this year. I eagerly look forward to more passionate debates, discussions and fiery conversations with you.

Deep Breath.

x

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