What I don’t get about the fight AGAINST feminism.
April 6, 2013
“When women participate in the economy, in peace-making and peace-keeping, we all benefit. Giving women and girls a fighting chance isn’t a nice thing to do, it’s a core imperative for every society…This truly is the unfinished business of the 21st century, and it is the work we are called to do.” – Hillary Clinton at the Women in the World Summit.
Yes.
It’s not about being nice.
Who made men the boss of us all?
We’re two halves…why is that so hard to fathom?
It’s for EQUALITY for our gender – the other half.
And to be equal exactly as we are – not equal due to being more masculine.
We can’t be more like men, we have to balance out the male characteristics and qualities.
That’s why we’re here. Otherwise it would just be all men.
Who made physical strength THE only trait to be valued as the best?
Because one can physically bully for how they desire things to be?
A woman’s strength is impenetrable.
Just look at what we do and/or survive daily; globally.
Why we don’t use this different type of strength to our advantage, just leaves me gobsmacked. It stamps the stupidity of our species more deeply into our psyche.
We’re in this inequality together, in some form or another.
And regardless of gender, it will most definitely affect someone you love.
It’s moral and ethical cancer – and yet, here we are.
The fight for the right to be richer and more controlling than others, is louder than all of us getting a slice of an equal existence.
I have to believe (and do) that there are more good people out there, than not.
Question #154: So why the fight against this?
Deep, bloody breath.
x
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Keep your money; I want change.
March 16, 2013
I see a pattern in the way we deal with everything – ourselves; politics; the way we ‘survive’; the environment – and it’s looking a tad grim.
The psyche of ‘who we are’ as a species, is tipping toward a greedy, destructive, selfish and stupid one – with some people sadly possessing all four traits.
We collectively ‘cut the nose off, to spite the face’, by encouraging (through action or indifference) the defence of these bad ideals and behaviours – and all for money.
Our soul is disappointingly tarnished with greed.
The outcry to the damaging effects of such behaviours, that are worsening in their intensity, seems to be fobbed off as an annoying distraction. The lack of true change makes this apparent.
1. If it’s a feminist fight, it gets shot down with labels of ‘hysterical’ / ‘bitch’ / ‘whore’ / ‘liar’ and/or the easy option of using violence – to keep women in their place.
2. If it’s an environmental fight, we actually turn our backs to what Nature is trumpeting – as it globally waves its arms furiously at us.
It feels like the planet is twitchy – trying to shake us off – the planet we need to sustain us.
More earthquakes and volcano eruptions, cyclones, devastating rain, snow storms, rising seas in the Pacific with islands slowly going under…and that’s just the climate.
Then there’s replacing land with concrete or rubbish; digging enormous holes to deepen our dependence on fossil fuels…and the list goes on.
Was the last wipeout the dinosaurs?
We haven’t got a hope in hell against this old soul fully turning on us.
It’s the one hunk of rock we’re on, isn’t it? I mean it’s ALL connected.
So why have Australians fought the Carbon Tax, when we all know (even the Opposition) it’s for the better?
In fact, it has already lowered emissions and it’s aimed at big businesses doing the most damage to our planet – you know, the people making millions/billions in profits.
I suppose a better question would be, ‘If not this – what?‘
3. And if it’s a political fight, we neglect policy; we neglect using the government in power to its full potential – regardless of whether one voted for them or not.
This was never more apparent than with our latest Prime Minister, Julia Gillard.
She has been systematically vilified from day one – distracting her (for example) with press conferences on her character, rather than just letting her get on with it.
What good does that do any of us?
Did anyone know that last week, this government passed a bill that made fantastic changes to the current National Disability Insurance Scheme?
Kim @allconsuming wrote the following piece about this decision and its wonderfulness – Quite Something. She writes:
“I do not care what your political leaning, I do.not.care. but this Government is the first to actually action it. The first to say this is important, to say to the four million or so Australians who have a disability that they matter.
To grasp the scale of that, those four million people equates roughly to the population of Melbourne. Then consider the 2.6 million Australians who care for family members with a disability. Now you’ve got the population of Victoria.
As soon as you hear someone start to say how great it is but gee, how we can fund this, how we can pay for it I want you to tell them you’re talking about the population of Victoria. You’re going to turn your back on an entire State?”
Yes – it seems we do tend to turn our backs, if selfish wants are jeopardised, which then paves the way for the media to create spin on our general ignorance and feed the masses biased reports on our government. And it is biased if you don’t get informed about the good stuff along with the bad.
Balance.
Question #151: So how will people vote? How will women vote?
Will environmental policies get a look in?
How about women’s issues? The gender equality gap – where the female gender suffers most from poverty and violence – globally – than its equal. Does that get any importance?
I lobby for equal pay for all women.
If there’s no money in the budget, they can just bring men down a peg and bump women up. Easy. They’ve had a good go of it.
We also need to look after our single parents who have had their payments cut by Centrelink, if their youngest child has turned 8 years old. A devastating blow…
OR will the simple mentality of those who cling to clichés – not policy – determine our collective fate?
I shudder to think.
Our people, politics and environment are all interwoven and connected, and it’s the obsession with making money and gaining power – astronomical money and power for some (regardless with how they got there) – that is slowly choking our very existence.
It’s time to lobby for these big important changes, recognise we’ll have to sacrifice to get them and see which government can best accommodate.
I want change. I want balance.
Deep Breath.
x
Happy International Women’s Day! + Question #150.
March 8, 2013
*TRIGGER WARNING – image may upset*
I awoke this morning with mixed emotions.
It was International Women’s Day and I wanted to quickly shout a ‘Woooo Hooooo’ to my sisterhood before getting ready for work, but there was also a feeling of some aimlessness.
Returning to full-time work on the Monday just gone (after caring for my injured husband) and due to the extra workload I was about to encounter – I decided to give social media a bit of a break, so that I could have some time without feeling incensed.
Because that’s what I was feeling.
How could I not?
When Facebook Pages like Being an Asshole, promoting hatred against women, are considered appropriate for viewing, even though it’s been reported for its promotion of violence.
How can men who defend it not see that by making a joke of this very real violence to countless women, it gives them permission to downplay how atrocious it is??
When a billboard promoting a strip club is placed in front of a boys’ school in Brisbane, is deemed honkey-dorey by the Advertising STANDARDS Board, when also reported for ‘grooming’ boys – teaching them to be sexually obsessed.
When the devastating statistics about the global pandemic of violence against women, inspires a t-shirt company to create many, many t-shirts bearing slogans such as: Keep Calm and Rape Her or Keep Calm and Knife Her. Amazon was then the place to get them.
(A computer program was blamed for generating the phrases – yet the word ‘him’ doesn’t appear anywhere…hmmm…)
It’s all getting a bit nasty.
Question #150: Could it be a back-lash to our ever-louder voice?
Well, the mixed feelings I awoke with today are due to me believing that – YES – we are becoming louder and stronger and I feel enormously proud to be a part of this new movement…
But is it working? Can we see any change?
We seem to be inundated with violence and exploitation – perpetuated by the Internet, I know – but it still IS what it IS.
An indifference to us – whether active or passive.
I believe we can make a profound change – both women and men…there’s just one problem:
Most are afraid to speak up.
And I understand that fear.
The other day, I confronted my Newsagent – a more elderly man – about the fact he had Zoo Magazine on a stand facing the street, near the front of the shop. I explained that not only is it bad enough that any kid can buy it, it was unavoidable to see the objectified woman on the cover, from the street.
So even if you choose not to go into the shop, that culture is still in your face. Still being advertised.
I had butterflies throughout the whole exchange. So nerve-racking.
As I left him, he was contemplating the location of the magazine and when I drove by later, he had taken the stand down.
Victory!
A small one, but one none the less…and it felt good.
So, it’s time.
It’s time to join the ranks for a better world for women. We deserve it.
Our nature is a nurturing one and it leaves me profoundly baffled as to why our other half want to continue to keep things the way they are.
I saw an argument by a man saying that he simply couldn’t understand why women wanted equality to men, when we’re not the same.
We know we’re not the same – it would not have made sense for nature to make us the same – but we are equally needed to balance things out.
Yin and Yang.
That’s what men and women are – predominantly one gender with a bit of the other. Of course I’m being very general – nature provides a rainbow of variations to this – but you get my drift.
So, Happy International Women’s Day!
I am for balance and I am for all women and hope the good men can join our voice.
An amazingly awesome documentary was made in the States called:
MAKERS: Women who make America – narrated by Meryl Streep.
Watch it by clicking on the link above – see how women have fought since WWII and continue to do so – see our modern-day leaders – be inspired – and join today’s movement.
Deep Breath x
What my daughter said to me today.
February 25, 2013
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking – pondering – reflecting – over the last few days.
I’m feeling quite disillusioned (on a grand scale) but it’s not upsetting me…I just want to figure out what the next step is. There’s an aimlessness to my thoughts.
I know, through social media, that there is A HUGE amount of us standing up and voicing our objections to things that seem ludicrous to be even out there in the first place – but they’re flatly being ignored.
A few days ago it was about the hateful and violent images and memes that Facebook allow to remain online – despite protest – and then the latest atrocity being the adult club billboard in front of a boys’ school that the Advertising Standards Board has deemed appropriate to keep up – despite protest – grooming our future’s sexual tastes.
I won’t go on because the list is literally endless and too dispiriting.
Many of us have written and complained, but to little or no avail. There have been some small victories but it’s not on the scale necessary to bring about change.
So today I found myself thinking – what’s the point? (bad of me, I know)
Today I had a hectic afternoon in the car driving up and down, picking up and dropping off etc. when I heard the following song for the second time on Triple J. The first time I only caught the end of it and what attracted me was the divine voice and music – today, however, when I heard it in full, I listened to the lyrics.
The song is ‘God-Fearing’ by Sarah Blasko, from the album, I Awake.
You’ve got a nerve, you know you make me hate
One thing I’ve learned, you try to take away
I’m not beaten down, I won’t behave
Just listen this once or you will rue this dayYou have no respect
For me tonight if you’re not listening
It might be unkind but it might be right
But you’re not listeningSet them up, knock them down
Cast them left, cast them right
God-fearing tonightBiting my lip and holding my tongue
Was the most stupid thing that I’ve ever done
Got carried away, let myself down
I’ll shoulder that blame if you’ll admit what you’ve doneYou have no respect
For me tonight if you’re not listening
It might be unkind but it might be right
But you’re not listeningSet them up, knock them down
Cast them left, cast them right
God-fearing tonight
I adore this song. It resonates so strongly with how I feel.
Completely frustrated that I – WE – are not being listened to. Not respected. Second-class.
The lines I put in bold are the standouts for me (and I love that she sings them looking straight at us in the video).
I played it to my 10-year-old daughter in the car. It was just the two of us.
I’m in her ear about certain topics – I have to be.
After all…we live in a society which allows porn billboards to go up in front of schools. I have to prepare her.
So we talked about the lyrics of this song – about not keeping quiet when the wrong thing is being done and that responsibility needs to be taken by the parties that do wrong, for change to happen.
I parked the car in the driveway and we just sat there listening to the magical sound of the violins (we both love them) waiting for the song to end before getting out.
As we got out of the car, she said to me:
“I want to thank you for raising me the way you are…helping me…(paused)…I don’t know how to explain it.”
I said, “You just did,” and gave her the biggest, massivest bear hug.
Lump in throat; heart swell…you know.
All this from one song – so I thought I’d share it.
Question #148: Feeling inspired (and equally indignant) to use that voice of yours?
Deep Breath
x
Sarah Blasko
Question #147: Why do even bother with the magic of Christmas?
February 25, 2013
I’ll be brief.
This petition has come up and it’s important you sign it. It’s to the Advertising Standards Board:
Stop Sex Industry Billboards Outside Schools
This is the billboard:
So – not only did someone approve this decision – placing an adult club BILLBOARD in front of a boys’ school in Brisbane – it was also complained about and the complaint was rejected.
In front of a boys’ school. Please.
As Verina Rallings wrote – it’s a type of grooming. And it is.
So I ask you:
Why do we even bother with the magic of Christmas?
Going to all that effort to create this fictitious world of wonderment…
What for?
We’re living in a world where the drive to make money has deadened our senses – opening the door to a seedy, underbelly lifestyle and normalising it.
Where did Santa go?
What happens when the belief in Santa ends – at 9 – 10 – 5 years of age?
Shall we dress our girls in denim undies (oh, sorry – ‘shorts’) and teach them how to act in a hyper-sexualised manner, for guys’ approval, with a low-cut top to boot?
How about our boys? Shall we encourage them to learn how to successfully land a bitch whose gagging for it?
If the answer for you is ‘No’, then speak up and show your indignation!
Billboards like this are powerfully promoting a representation of reality that is unbalanced.
I can’t believe we are actually allowing this subliminal coercion of our kids’ minds; rendering their ability to formulate a balanced reality, impotent.
WE have to be the stronger voice in our youth’s ears, not theirs.
Theirs is solely about making a buck…and it’s plastered all around us.
Doesn’t that infuriate you?
Well it makes me livid and disappointed at what we’re becoming.
Please sign the petition. x
Stop Sex Industry Billboards Outside Schools
Deep Breath.
The three-to-one formula
February 13, 2013
This issue has been truly bugging me for quite some time.
Have you ever noticed the three-to-one formula on TV?
Sometimes it’s even four-to-one, but basically it’s a group of men, with a token female to fill in the gender gap. The thing is, however, that these programs seek the expert advice of a panel, which (unfairly) only ever has one female in the mix.
1.The Voice:
Here are the promotional photos of the big three – USA, Australia & England.
Pattern much?
It’s interesting to note that the men are free to look however they please – covered in tattoos; casual, relaxed clothing; physical differences such as very overweight…even old. (It would be a frozen day in Hell before we saw the female equivalents on our screen). And the females that do appear? Well, they’ve been preened and primed to within an inch of their lives.
*I never realised men were the authority in singing.
2. The Doctors:
This is an American program, which gives advice on everything medical – including episodes on what women can do to improve themselves through things like plastic surgery. I came across it on a sick day, channel-surfing.
*It came as a shock to learn that male doctors are the experts in medicine.
3. The Living Room:
This is an Aussie show where the men get out there and report on areas such as adventure activities, cooking and DIY. Amanda Keller – an intelligent and funny woman – merely compères the show…from the couch.
*Women just mustn’t be up for all the fun and travel…or capable.
4. Masterchef Australia:
The curious thing about this show, is that only the first season used Sarah Wilson ((below) as the host. She was quickly given the flick and the three male chefs remained…to this day.
*It is quite the morsel to digest – knowing the best mentors in the kitchen are male.
Question #143: Isn’t it time we had 50/50 representation on our screens, when it comes to giving advice?
More often than not – we seem to be a society that hangs on every word, when men speak with authority.
I find this extremely and increasingly frustrating – not because men can’t be experts (I’m not saying that at all) – but because we’re being taught that women can’t. We are merely conditioning the upcoming generation to only hear reason through the male voice…
…but that’s a whole other post.
Until then; Deep Breath.
x
It’s a girl! #3
February 3, 2013
A few months ago I saw the disturbing documentary about the femicide of girls in India and China called it’s a girl!
I wrote about the film and its disturbing statistics in the post: it’s a girl.
The following song is written and performed by Omekongo Dibinga. He felt compelled to say something about what is occurring in these countries.
The music may not be your cup of tea, but I love that Omekongo chose to speak up – on this very important and horrific practice.
Below is the link to the it’s a girl! site with the article about this song:
It’s a Girl Inspires Music Video by Hip Hop Artist Omekongo Dibinga
Watching this video and listening to the lyrics have made me feel very, very microscopically small…again.
What can I (we) do to help??
Deep Breath
x
A moment of reflection.
February 1, 2013
I was breaking up a small altercation between my daughters tonight – where my eldest responded in a mean way to a kind gesture from her sister.
I was sitting on her bed, a short time later, discussing why she had responded in that way. I quietly said to her that there was enough nastiness in the world, let alone in our house with the ones we love. As I said it, I was looking at her bedside table lamp – it’s a lit up, Planet Earth.
So massive…and covered in exploitation; greed; hatred; violence; intolerance.
Everywhere – from war, to big business and in our very homes. People gaining from the suffering of others – whether emotionally or physically.
Yes, there’s love; kindness; empathy – I profoundly feel these within myself and know many who do too – but it’s not big enough. Mean is bigger.
Question #142: Why have we let our world become like this?
*Deep breath*
Today I start a new journey.
My husband had a serious accident playing soccer (football) last week.
He had just finished kicking the ball – so his foot was up a little – and his opponent came in very hard. His kick landed like a king-hit under my husband’s foot.
It smashed his ankle into his tibia, which split at the base, and then sent a crack up the tibia, where it fractured half way up the leg. The surgeon said he had never seen anything like it – only in car accidents. His leg is now in a contraption with pins keeping his leg in place and it will take a further two operations to hopefully get the job done.
In an instant, our world was turned on its heel – on many levels which I won’t bore you with.
The worst part is his suffering and for me it’s a helplessness at not being able to ease what he’s going through.
On another level – a different level – I feel a similar helplessness for our suffering world.
Why is today a new day?
Because when this accident happened, and the seriousness of my hubby’s injuries hit home, I felt a peace wash over me – a calm strength. This doesn’t mean that I haven’t had a few moments where I’ve had to breathe deep and refocus, but calmness is what ultimately gets us through life’s blindsides.
I’m going to do the same here, when discussing life’s issues with you.
At times, I have let my feelings of anger overwhelm my expression into something unleashed. I don’t like it when I do that. I lose you.
But my heart is in the right place.
I continue to fight for a balanced existence.
I feel it is the true secret to life – in every way.
I wish for a future where we shed our cloak of silence, stand up and push back on the practices that are taking over our world’s psyche in this detrimental way.
*Deep breath*
So, now we’re back to the chat with my daughters – back to the beginning – the place to start change:
Our children.
Strength to you all.
x
A MUST watch – especially for teen girls and young women.
January 26, 2013
Dr Caroline Heldman (who appeared in Missrepresentation) spoke at the TEDx Youth Conference, for twelve or so minutes – without pause. Amazing.
It’s a bloody brilliant presentation that encapsulates everything that is wrong with our current paradigm – delivered with clear-cut explanations, facts, research and solutions.
She looks at what sexual objectification is and whether it’s empowering.
An absolutely fantastic and succinct discourse.
Question #140: So, ladies – are we going to put an end to this self-destructive behaviour, once and for all?
Deep Breath.
x
The Male Privilege Checklist.
January 23, 2013
The following is a list compiled by a blogger named Barry Deutsch.
His list looks at how men are the privileged gender of our world. In his preface he states:
“Pointing out that men are privileged in no way denies that bad things happen to men. Being privileged does not mean men are given everything in life for free; being privileged does not mean that men do not work hard, do not suffer. In many cases – from a boy being bullied in school, to a soldier dying in war – the sexist society that maintains male privilege also does great harm to boys and men.
In the end, however, it is men and not women who make the most money; men and not women who dominate the government and the corporate boards; men and not women who dominate virtually all of the most powerful positions of society. And it is women and not men who suffer the most from intimate violence and rape; who are the most likely to be poor; who are, on the whole, given the short end of patriarchy’s stick.”
Whenever there are arguments about equality, there are always men who talk about how many men get the short end of the stick (a comment in response to this list does this).
We know that it’s true. But the (sometimes mortifying) obstacles women face – especially the more exposed or on-show they are – far, far outweigh those of men. Most times the injustices men face…come from other men.
So here it is:
Of course, I’m sure, there will be some points you may not agree with, but I have personally experienced quite a few of the inequalities listed because of my gender.
No longer is it some unspoken, secret boys’ club – feeding the dog of sexism under the table – it’s now infiltrated into our representation in all corners of the media; teaching a whole new ‘connected’ generation, with a reach that has, up until now, been unfathomable.
…and it’s working very, very, well.
Just look around. It’s an emergency.
Question #139: How do we turn around such entrenched perceptions and practices?
Guys?
Deep Breath.
x
Questions for Us 