A misogynist’s response.
December 8, 2012
Misogynist definition:
a person who hates, dislikes, mistrusts, or mistreats women.
This man was obviously looking for something else when he stumbled onto my post about Zoo Magazine – Go and put the kettle on – and wrote this comment:
“Hey lady its not a dick dont take it so hard now go make me a sandwich”
That’s hate. That’s dislike. That’s mistreatment.
I feel warm and fuzzy knowing there’s so many like him everywhere AND perpetuated in the media.
Question #119: Why not comment back to him?
Guys too.
Deep Breath.
x
Watch this one minute ad.
December 7, 2012
Feminist Shout Out #5. Please watch this, guys.
December 5, 2012
I haven’t got time – I’m about to go to our School’s presentation evening.
BUT…I have to share this with you.
This video is made by a young man who has used his voice – and it’s wonderful.
Spot on.
Question #116: What can we, men and women, do to change things around?
Boys/guys/men: stop pushing your adult sexual urges and fantasies onto our kids (surely it can be interpreted that doing nothing is giving consent to it). Have some decency.
Toddlers in tiaras/sluts/crazy nut-jobs:
WAKE UP!
Look at how you’re being represented.
Question for women #117: Why are we even in the ads/shows/movies/music videos etc. etc. etc. to start with? Perpetuating it?
Women (as a gender) are helping – in a BIG way – to sell ourselves short. We are CONFIRMING everything that’s portrayed about us.
So that’s why we think it’s reality – but it’s not.
I’m not like that!
I find it gobsmacking that I’ve already had a sex talk with my 9 year old daughter – a while ago, actually – because that ‘slut’ representation is everywhere. Some queried whether she was too young for that chat and I thought, “Too young? My talk as a mother to her daughter, answering her questions, is more scrutinised than what we’re allowing them to see, like wallpaper?”
Our lives should have the tag-line: Parental Guidance Recommended.
Come on…what can we do to have a happier, mental world? To help our girls AND boys.
I have to go.
Deep Breath
x
Question #113: Why can’t we do this?
November 17, 2012
Seriously, why?
The Dalai Lama put up the following quote on Facebook:
“However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will “not survive. When we are sick or very young or very old, we must depend on the support of others. There is no significant division between us and other people, because our basic natures are the same. If we wish to ensure everyone’s peace and happiness we need to cultivate a healthy respect for the diversity of our peoples and cultures, founded on an understanding of this fundamental sameness of all human beings.”
The simplicity of this staggers me.
Isn’t this what we ultimately and deeply desire? To be happy and at peace?
The global predicament we’re in, however, is one where more people than not believe that the attainment of true fulfilment is only possible with the obtaining of money.
Money = Power. How intoxicating.
It must be addictive – the drive to compete for more, to buy the best and most expensive – even oppress…because to gain it to the detriment – the sometimes terrible detriment – of others – is inhumane.
How can we turn a blind eye towards the people who just had the truly unfortunate, bad luck to be born into poverty, into violence and war, into slavery, into prostitution…
…into a cursed existence?
Cursed.
The Dalai Lama’s philosophy (solution) is so simple.
Can’t be worse than the cancer we have now – infecting our global, toxic psyche.
Question #114: What have we got to lose?
Of course it will never be everybody thinking in this manner. Impossible.
…but couldn’t it at least be that there’s more of us, than them, to bring about a shift?
Ever hopefully yours,
Paula x
On a positive note…
November 7, 2012
Recently, I posted this image of Malala Yousafzai on my Questions for Women Facebook page, celebrating her magnificence. Indulge me, if you will, to revisit this extraordinary girl – and pose a quick question.
This magazine cover shows a radiant, awe-inspiring and heroic girl. A girl who has already made a tremendous global impact – evidenced by the vigils that were held worldwide, praying for her recovery. A girl who made the cover of Newsweek…
…and it has NOTHING to do with the way she looks. Nothing.
Fantastic.
Her qualities as a person – that’s what has been recognised and revered.
Not the size of her breasts, what outfit she was wearing or whether she’s ‘hot’ – unlike most of the magazine covers, sporting images of women, that we see today.
Question #109: Don’t we want our daughters’ developing brains to subliminally see more covers like this?
Instead of this?
In my next post, we’re going to have to get comfy, with a cup of tea and a Tim Tam – and have a serious ‘chat’ about Zoo Magazine.
As parents, there’s little we can do about the reach and saturation of porn on the Internet (except put blocks on the computer to protect our children).
But why bother? – when young boys can just walk into a Newsagency and purchase Zoo Magazine without their parents’ knowledge.
We can do something about a magazine like this – a magazine that is being alarmingly consumed by young boys and men, like addicts on crack.
It’s cheap, easily available and misogynistic.
Deep Breath
x
Phrases put in my search engine.
November 3, 2012
And this was just yesterday…in one, 24 hr period:
What’s with all the 12 year old sluts
12 yr old sluts
12 year old sluts
12 yr old slut
12 year olds memes
I kid you not.
No…the saturation of porn – and the fact that the palate of the customer is yearning for younger and younger delights – is having NO effect whatsoever, on our world.
It’s not producing any weird, itchy, ill-feeling – like we’re crossing a terrifying line into uncharted and dangerous waters.
On the contrary! Boys and men are engaging in healthy, respectful and consenting sexual relationships; whilst girls and women are being left alone – by not being trafficked, raped, degraded and violently abused – on one hand, and are not participating in their own exploitation, on the other.
This is good. The search engine phrases above are a sign of a healthy paradigm.
How fabulous that we live in a world which permits such appetites for young girls to be made available – at whatever cost.
However, there’s one infinitesimal positive point in all this (there always is) – and that is the warm, fuzzy feeling I feel inside, when I relish the look I imagine those guys have on their faces, when their search for 12 year old sluts leads them…
…to my blog.
One teeny, tiny blip in their way.
That makes me feel good.
Imagine if I stopped one guy from continuing his search…
Question #107: Do you think I did?
If you think that this is an impossibility, then you – and in turn we – are living a hopeless existence, admitting everything is beyond our control…and we are in some deep shit.
Deep Breath.
x
PS There’s a Facebook page that has the word ‘slut’ in its title (I won’t honour it with its full name), that was started 4 days ago on the 29th October. It only posted for 2 days – the 29th and the 30th – at it already has 307 ‘likes‘.
Yes…everything’s juuust fine.
Response. Now I’m fired up.
October 28, 2012
For those who read my last post will know that it was emotional.
No apologies here.
But as a response to a comment that was left, I wrote the following:
(maybe it will resonate with you more – same message – just more fired up)
Well, that’s a lovely way you chose to end your message. I’m sure you felt I deserved that somehow?
Don’t like reading emotional posts?
My feeling of despondency doesn’t need to be mocked by you and I don’t apologise for it.
I’m feeling a bit better now, thanks to your response. Just the ticket.
It’s clear you interpreted many things differently to how I expressed them.The image is a bit cryptic. I want people to stand up because it’s the right thing to do, not seek attention. Maybe it was TOO cryptic – but hey, I’m writing for me and anyone else who is like-minded and gets what I’m saying. So although it’s not what I meant, I agree with you, yes, change will be televised.
The image you painted of ‘ambitionistas’ is a cliché. It IS as you describe – no argument – because society is conditioned to think ‘that’s the way it is’ and then, in turn, perpetuates the cliché. So yes, I agree, the stereotype of the ‘how-to-make-it-as-a-woman-at-the-top’ manual you just read from (written by a man) is spot. on.
Yes, there are women at the top in business – 3% of them.
I know the Achilles Heel of the ‘power group’ – I’ve been writing about it over and over again. There’s no need to patronise me.
Now let me explain, succinctly, the whole point of this last post.It’s to ask why we’re standing idly by and letting the shit state of things STAY THE SAME – if not worsen.
That’s it.
So thank you SO much for stating the way things are. I’m aware of them – communicated through every post – and that’s why I’ve moved just a little bit further along and started to speak up – in the hope of waking people up into ACTION with a simple raising of their voice – ESPECIALLY women.Until women say enough, it ain’t changing. Hence the name of my blog.
We are emotional creatures which is just as valuable and needed in our world. So I WAS despondent – but you have just lit a fire in my belly.
PS Do you even understand the lyrics of Hey Jude? The first verse you put in, is saying don’t hold it in – a fool for bottling it up and playing it cool. I’m not carrying the world on my shoulders, nor am I playing it cool. ???
The movement is on my shoulders? Yes, and I’m acting. Starting with me. I’ll do.
Hope MANY will join me…but there won’t be any cameras.
Get it?
Deep Breath.
I’m feeling despondent.
October 28, 2012
Again, it seems I’ve hit another moment where it all feels a smidge overwhelming.
I’m a bit low about it all.
I keep seeing – hearing – absorbing – feeling – more and more examples of horrible behaviour, greedy behaviour, hateful behaviour…
…and I just don’t understand.
I don’t understand why intelligent men and women sit back with a desensitised indifference or, worse still, defend certain elements of our society – making us tip out of balance. I feel like we’re sitting on the side of the balance that’s just started its descent…and it’s going to reach the bottom at an accelerated and unstoppable pace…
Or have we reached that ‘point of no return’ already?
I’d like to think not. I’d LOVE to think not. But am I being naive to think we can put on the brakes?
Because I’m starting to doubt that it’s possible because there seems to be a lot who defend the need for cesspools in different pockets of our existence.
It’s depressing to entertain this thought. It is.
For me, this is the crux of it:
The world is going down a slippery chute – because of money and power.
And it doesn’t matter how you look at it – proven statistically – whatever the culture around the globe, whatever the economic status…
…the true victims of any society, are women.
And the ones who wield the power and dominate, are men.
Not ALL men – but most of those who are in positions of power, are – however they came to be there. They’re the ones ruling this planet. Fact.
But I’m wondering, if there are so many of you out there – and I know in my heart you are out there (regardless of gender) – who feel like a lot of the things being brought to light are wrong:
Question #105: Where are you?
I see women like Melinda Tankard Reist and the phenomenal team at Collective Shout, who are doing wonderful, extraordinary work. They have won so many battles against things that seem inconceivable, to have been allowed to be put in our society in the first place. Inconceivable. They have little money and are flying by the skin of their teeth. But they keep going because it simply has to be done.
Where’s the equivalent loud male voice – a face – who also thinks things are very, very wrong?
Where are the voices of ALL of us, regardless of gender?
In a previous post Feeling a bit ineffectual I listed how women are the victims of this world.
Women are raped by the thousands in places like Africa – used as a weapon of war – DAILY. Women infected with diseases from it.
Women / baby girls around the planet – who are raped, molested, sexually assaulted, trafficked – DAILY
Countless countries forbidding girls from being educated. Shooting a targeted girl, point blank, in the head for wanting one. These are the countries that like war. They have their women – who could stop them if they were in decision-making positions along side them – submissively kept at home.
The poverty, the pain…
And here? In the capitalist world? Here we only reward one thing;
Making money – at whatever cost.
Most of us do it the right and honourable way – with our ethics and morals intact – but the thing I don’t understand is why we actually stand back and let the soulless monster loose in big business – to OUR detriment. OURS.
We are creating a MINDLESS culture by allowing men – yes men – the ones in power who hold 97% of clout positions in Advertising, Publishing, Tele-communications and Entertainment – to feed on all our weakest and most vulnerable points..to make money. To make a LIVING.
With their fellow men it’s done through sex and with women it’s done through vanity.
Except for the men it’s a dominant weakness and for women it’s a submissive one.
Men are happy with their vice – by indulging in the world of hyper-sexuality and porn…but women never are! Which woman actually believes they’re beautiful enough? Good enough?
What the hell’s THAT about ladies? Seriously!
We’re allowing companies to target and condition our youth to become MINDLESS.
Our silence and indifference gives them permission.
WHY are we doing this? Because it’s good business? The more we say that, the more we pave the way for another to push the ethical frontiers. I’m beginning to wonder if there are any left.
Seems like a free-for-all.
The infuriating part is that we could ALL sell-out and make a quid the fast way.
We ALL have the capacity to steal. We ALL have the capacity to cheat. We can be unkind, selfish, greedy, hateful – but for the majority of people – we’re decent.
Question #106: So, why are we letting the men in power dictate how they will feed off ALL of us – men, women and children – in this detrimental way?
All’s fair in love, war…and capitalism, it seems.
I wonder, with a heavy heart, if the line above does encompass the general attitude amongst the masses…
Again, I hope not.
This is a worthy cause, isn’t it?
Deep Breath.
Pass it on. Speak up. Anything to help create change.
Ad I’ve noticed – #1
October 21, 2012
Before I start waging my war on the ads we’re seeing, I’d like to do a bit of research – with you. I’m going to quickly discuss ads I’m seeing now – airing across the country, into family homes – and then (hopefully) gain some insight from you – see if there’s a reoccurring pattern in what our media outlets are unveiling to us and what messages they’re circulating.
I’d like to use you as a gauge. I – like everyone else – am not immune to seeing things a little less-of-centre at times and willingly admit this. It is all about perspective, after all, and I am deeply curious to learn whether we’re on the same page about this issue, that is deeply concerning to me.
Before I start, I want to explain that I don’t have cable TV, just free-to-air. I don’t turn on the telly until the evening, but really (especially in this ‘down season’) – I don’t watch much. This isn’t to say that the TV is switched off. It’s generally left on, in case we stumble upon something engaging to watch.
This means that as I’m cooking or writing, I do, on occasion, notice the ads. Obviously, when we think about ads, we automatically think of product selling, but there are also the ads for the TV shows themselves…and it’s the content in these ads that are also of great concern.
I’ve written previously about how TV is dumbing us down and how – as a capitalist, obsessed society – we’re possibly heading down a path towards The Seven Deadly Sins.
Well…isn’t it possible? If the answer is, “Yes” then what do we need to do?
I think the ads we’re being exposed to (children and teens especially) – together with a WHOLE smorgasbord of other factors and contributors – are changing the neural pathways of our brains. Conditioning us. More urgently, conditioning the way our youth perceive reality.
Ad #1. TV show – Glee.
Now, I’m not a fan of this show – ever since it started to drip in the hyper-sexualised behaviour of the girls; on top of knowing that their main fan base are young girls. I wrote a post about another ad for Glee a while back (with the clip attached). They are not promoting healthy messages, which is a shame considering the reach they have.
The new season is apparently about to start and we are, of course, getting bombarded by the promotional tsunami that seems to come with the start of new television show seasons.
I wasn’t able to find the clip of the ad that’s being aired in Australia, so I’ll just describe the simple, yet dangerous, messages I think the ad is delivering to young girls and women.
Two things.
One: Kate Hudson plays a new character in the series as a dance instructor at what appears to be a high end place in New York (NY Ballet?), that the main girl Rachel now attends. Kate’s character appears fearless, bellowing how the majority of them are going to fail etc. etc.
She walks up to one of the new students and says:
“Hi. What’s your name? Muffin Top?” (when some fat sits over the top of your pants)
“No, my name is-”
“No. You’re name is Muffin Top. From now on it’s rice crackers and ipecac (a drink that makes you vomit). Cut off a butt-cheek. You have to lose a few pounds.”
And the girl is slim. Plus it really bothers me that it’s a fellow woman being so callous.
Message: If you look at that girl and they’re saying she’s fat (which she’s not) – what am I?
Subliminal message received. Neural pathways are now shifting, due to negative self thoughts about weight and self esteem. Check.
Many will argue that that’s the way it is in these sorts of high pressure dancing institutions and the show is representing realism. Oh, now they’re calling the realism card? That’s a tiny morsel of ‘realism’ compared the heightened misrepresentation that oozes from other issues within shows such as this.
Two: In the grand old tradition of building a female star (whether it be an actress or a singer) as an innocent, wide-eyed virginal type of girl – there comes the time when she must toss all that aside, along with its innocent followers and admirers, and become ‘nasty’.
Rachel now has to be taken ‘seriously’ and must shed her chaste appearance and prove she’s someone to be reckoned with. So we hear Rachel singing, not once but twice during the ad, the following line of the song she will perform on the show (once with a visual showing a tough and sexy Rachel):
“I’m not that innocent”
A line from a Britney Spears song. How apt – a fellow innocent-turned-nasty girl…along with Christina Aquilera, Miley Cyrus…and the list goes on.
Message: Noone will take me seriously unless I sexualise myself to gain attention.
Subliminal message received. Neural pathways are now shifting, due to negative thoughts about not looking sexy and hot enough to gain attention and recognition – the only way to get it. Check.
Why do they do this to one famous, female young star after another? To add to the fan base.
In the documentary, Missrepresentation, we were informed that the main people who watch TV are women…so it doesn’t matter what you show them, as it seems they lap up everything that’s presented to them – especially the younger ones.
However, the ones who watch the least TV, are males between the ages of 18-mid/late twenties? Something like that. So shows are predominantly motivated to getting their full attention – and how else can you get a young, hormone ridden boy/teen/male to watch your show?
Sexualise the girls.
So the bottom line is that they don’t care who watches, just as long as they are.
Anything for a buck, right?
Question #104: Do these examples set off alarm bells, no matter how small, as to what’s being subliminally taught?
Here is a lovely image of the actress who plays Rachel (Michele Lea), contributing her efforts to collecting that new fan base for the network and share holders, by posing for GQ magazine.
We have a long way to go, ladies. Can’t have a picture like this without the woman’s consent.
And consent they do.
Deep Breath.
x
Another response to a comment.
October 10, 2012
Sorry, I’ve felt like a rabbit-in-headlights with what’s gone on over the last 24 (or so) hrs.
I got a great comment that had a nice mix of argument – without delving into the pits of horrible name calling and highly emotional, negative regurgitation.
Gravitar wrote:
I kinda agree. The comments re: Julia’s father are disgraceful that is true. Abbott and Jones have won no friends, nor votes, from it. However, this is politics and it is a dirty, grubby game (don’t forget Alan Jones comes from the political sphere) and you need a thick skin to survive. I can think of other ex-PM’s who have been on the giving and receiving end of unjustifiable sexist, racist and inappropriate comments and while this is not excusable, it is a reality of modern politics. Julia’s speech was largely valid, but she is a smart woman who should have buried Abbott by now based on his policy vacuum. Use theatrics by all means, but her speech themed on “what offends Julia” is not what will make her memorable or electable. Admittedly, Julia has the uncertainty of a hung parliament haunting her which would make it difficult to be an effective leader, however she needs to have a significant policy debate with Abbott and she needs to win… repeatedly. That’s how she will win more support within her own party and with the general public.
My response:
I saw a woman who had simply had enough – and it was invigorating. I didn’t see a politician – I saw a person, a woman, who stood up and said E.NOUGH.
Look at her controlled pacing – she is pissed.
And then to have Abbott put forward a motion to get rid of Mr Slipper, KNOWING that Parliament shouldn’t be influencing the court case that must ultimately pass judgement, was a dirty blow because he knew Julia Gillard was damned either way. The court case is also now completely flawed due to the leaking of those texts. A government can’t sway the court case as that would be grossly unfair. Anyone would feel completely betrayed by the system if they were about to face a court case in the spot Mr Slipper is in now.
So Tony Abbott put her, again, in a very difficult position.
This last point, as to why Julia couldn’t express her great dissatisfaction with Mr Slipper’s sexist behaviour in THAT way, is interestingly ABSENT from popular news reports – so the reaction to Julia’s ‘double-standards’ is based on misinformation.
Do you know what I just noticed as I was writing this? That I keep referring to Mr Slipper – with a Mr, because that’s how he’s continuously been refered as, by the media. This is also true to a lot of comments I’ve read on the Internet about this issue – women included – lots of women, actually. It’s a Mister for the disgusting misogynist – but Julia and ‘her’ (and much, much worse – including ‘cunt’) for our Prime Minister.
Julia Gillard had been set up – and she let rip. Wouldn’t you?
So I say, “You go, girl!”
Julie Bishop said that Julia Gillard had set back the women’s movement by decades.
Shame on her.
When in fact, it is she who has set us back, by standing side by side a sexist boss and turning her spite on the woman on the receiving end, who said, “Enough!”.
So much for the sisterhood.
Why would ANY woman want to go into politics? Where we are so DESPERATELY needed.
The sad part is that a whole lot of women will listen to Julie Bishop.
Our female Prime Minister stood up to the behaviours that were targeted towards her as a woman and she said “No, I’m not having it.”
She just propelled women forward in a wonderful way. Why would it get such global attention if it weren’t?
If people don’t like a leader, don’t vote for them. Speak with intelligent argument about them, not signs that say “Bitch” refering to our PRIME MINISTER.
It’s so pedestrian. Such an unintelligent way to debate…if you can call signs, debating.
Is she perfect? No. Who is?
Did she find herself with her back against the wall with the Carbon Tax? Yes.
What would you have done in her position – male or female?
Do we know deep down that this is a good tax? – that it has its heart in the right place? Yes.
And yet we subject this woman to such venom.
And for who? Abbott?
The man, who as you say (and agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with), has a ‘policy vacuum’?
A man who has demonstrated unprecedented behaviour, that has only reared its ugly head since a woman has been voted in as Prime Minister?
You say you can recall ex-PMs being subjected to unjustifiable sexist comments. I’m only focusing on this one because yes, of course, there have been racist comments made.
But sexist?? I really can’t recall an equivalent – say, a woman opposition leader…oh, there hasn’t been one. OK, ANY female politician of influence standing in front of signs with the word “Prick” or doing an equivalent action. That would have made equally big news because it would have been a rarity…seeing as there’s hardly been any women in upper politics in the past.
The truth is that men have done it to each other because that’s the gender that’s always saturated parliament.
To say Julia ‘should have’ buried him by now, is not a reflection on her – it’s a reflection on our nation – a nation that swallows every bit of sensationalist (and sketchy) reporting, that’s starting to liken our news to a cheap soapy.
I wish Australia could just gain a little more sophistication in its conversation about politics. But the question I pose to everyone is:
Question #102: How did you expect Julia Gillard to respond – as a woman – knowing our daughters are watching?
Funnily enough, the WORLD has noted the significance of her speech. But not the journalists of Australia – ie the anti-Julia bandwagon that’s ‘popular’ with the general populace.
What a pity. Because yesterday, she was a legend.
Here is the transcript of what Ms Gillard said.
Thank you so much for your comment. As always.
Paula
PS This blog is 8 months old today! Woo Hooo!
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