A short post.
Question #7: Why are we allowing ‘consumption’ to be the most important life goal, being taught to our kids?
Not only do ALL people have power over consumerism – women in particular, hold a unique market – THE BIGGEST!
It’s time to put that power into action – for the sake of our children – our girls and boys – who are being moulded since birth.
Yes, we’ve always had the push to consume – but….the reach it has now is unparralleled to when we were younger – I mean, I was in my mid twenties when mobiles and things like hotmail, were just taking off. There’s NO comparison, so our parenting and guidance has be both more aware and present.
Read this:
http://jennifershewmaker.com/2012/01/23/media-and-children-its-not-all-about-the-parent/
I looked into the mirror…
January 25, 2012
After arriving home from being “professionally developed,” and having just driven through one of the many torrents of water falling over Sydney (and everywhere else on the east coast – get your goggles on!), I decided to get into my j-mamas (as my daughter used to call them when she was little. *smile*).
So, as you can imagine, I’m not looking the best….but I looked at myself in the mirror. I took a long look. And do you know what?
I like what I see.
As I pondered on this, it dawned on me that things really started to turn around for me, in many areas of my life;
when I liked what I saw.
Now let me explain that my long look in the mirror today, started with me noticing how peppered with greys my hair was. Then I proceeded down to my forehead – a road map of creases; my eyes – lots of lines of varying width; and some pigmentation to the skin that seemed to start after having kids.
But I’d rather have lines, than not move.
Yes, when I lift up my eyebrows in front of a mirror, there is that tiny recoil at how deep-set those wrinkles are – but I know that when others see them, it’s coupled with the reaction to a great story or excitement…
When I laugh, I want my face laugh with me!
I don’t believe a man, however, has the same pressure. In the media, there isn’t a repeated, ‘beautiful’ look for a guy – one that’s wallpapered in everything he sees, making him feel pressure to conform to its guidelines. The media says that a man can look and behave in MANY different ways and women will still find him attractive. Have you ever seen shows where the couple comprises of an overweight, plain-looking male and a gorgeous, thin woman? Would you ever see that show in reverse? I don’t think so. Look at that horrible show, Two and a Half Men. I don’t know about you, but Charlie Sheen’s character and OUTFIT, were foul. And yet scores of women were lining up, gagging for him. Please.
For us, though, there seems to be a small window of what’s considered ‘beautiful’ and that image IS wallpapering our world.
No, men can gain weight, look any way they like, age gracefully (and some not so gracefully) – but we love ’em all the same.
Question #6: Why can’t we love ourselves in the same way that we love our imperfect men? Why can’t we extend ourselves the same courtesy?
Not loving our own, UNIQUE beauty, but rather obsessing with an unachievable ideal (see the link in my last blog posting), is sending us crazy!
It’s making us spend SO much more money than guys, in All areas of fashion and grooming – trying to do what exactly? A woman who’s unhappy with the way she looks will never be able to ‘fix’ herself because another wrinkle will always appear and the skin will always continue to loosen. This equals a woman we think ‘has it all’ but is ironically as miserable as the rest of her gender. Just look at Olivia (and countless other women in the public eye).
LOVE.WHAT.YOU.SEE.
I bet you that when you do – really do – everything else will start clicking into place. It did for me. x
A scary photo.
January 23, 2012
I feel a tiny sense of betrayal…
I saw this image today and thought, “What has Olivia done to herself?”
An important question because she looks disfigured and plastic – and she was a naturally, stunning woman before she started to be unhappy with what she saw.
So now she looks like this.
Does anyone else see a bit of Jack Nicholson’s The Joker in that smile? This is not where I feel a sense of betrayal – I just feel sad for her.
“What? Sad? But, she looks FAB-u-lous!”, some women might say. “Why not? If it makes her happy.”
Well, I agree. If it isn’t hurting anyone ‘Live and let live’ ….but….maybe it is hurting someone.
So this is what BAFFLES me and where the sense of betrayal comes into the picture;
Question # 5: Why are we rewarding our fellow women for LOOKING unnatural?
Why are they flattered on TV by hosts? About how great and beautiful they are, when it’s OBVIOUS that they’ve had ‘something done’….and look weird.
I don’t get why they would want to fashion their looks around the same ‘doll-like’ look. Again, no sense of being unique.
Are we really saying, “Good.On.You.” to women who have the money to demonstrate, to us all, how they feel about their inadequacies in the public eye?
Well yes, it seems we are – because we look up to them, make them richer for it AND start our path modelling ourselves on them – along with their feelings of inadequacy. This is because, in essence, it’s an unattainable image, so we feel bad about ourselves. And now that women’s images are ALSO altered on a computer – what hope in hell do our young girls have, in attaining a healthy self-image? (Click on the link below for more on this)
I’ll repeat the title from the previous post: “You can’t be what you can’t see” – and what our women, of all ages, are seeing nearly everywhere, is FAKE.
I feel like there’s only one clear message – “Girls, you TOO can be a success – but only if you look like this.”
Surely we should be saying, “Wow”, to naturally attractive, sexy, older women and plastering their image all over the place. Helen Mirren, anyone?
If you watched the trailer in my previous post, you would have seen that “Women hold only 3% of clout positions in telecommunications, entertainment, publishing and advertising.”
That means that this look and many others we don’t like, are ultimately being decided upon by men.
FACT. Not male-bashing, just a fact.
So, what are we to do?
* Teach our young (and older) women that:
If she truly believes she’s beautiful, she will RADIATE that everywhere she goes – I mean, look at the alternative – those women in the public eye showing the exact opposite. And do they think they’re beautiful? Probably not. They would always find flaws; something to fix.
* We also need to teach our young (and older) MEN that:
There are more wonderful facets to a woman, than the way she looks – despite what the media is showing them.
I’ll leave you with a You Tube posting that needs to be shown to as many young women as possible! It’s great.
On a personal note:
It’s back to full-time work, for me, tomorrow. I’m back to the preparing and professional development stage of school – before the kids start next week. I’m so new to blogging, I don’t know if I’m doing it right. My goal is to write a few times a week – but I’m not sure how that’s going to go when I’m in the full swing of high school teaching, caring for my family, chores, sleep etc. etc……but one thing’s for sure – I wish I could just do this all the time. *smiling*
“You can’t be what you can’t see.”
January 22, 2012
The quote in the title of this post is from a film called “Miss Representation.” It was aired at The Sundance Film Festival last year – but hasn’t made its way to Australia yet. I’m trying to see how I can get a copy of it because it looks amazing. I want to show it to ALL my students, male and female.
“You can’t be what you can’t see.”
Simple really.
Check out the link below of the trailer – let me know what you think.
Miss Representation 8 min. Trailer 8/23/11 from Miss Representation on Vimeo.
Guess who’s back!
January 21, 2012
This is a catch phrase of my husband’s, when he enters a room the girls and I are in. Makes me smile.
Anyhoo, I’ve been on a small beach holiday with my hubby and two girls (9 and 5)….and no internet connection! I’ve been itching to write but there’s SO much to say and (hoping to) discuss with you all. It’s a bit daunting, actually. Where to start….
I could start with what I saw on my holiday; where a lot of my impressions about how things are, were reinforced.
What is it with the MAJORITY of girls wearing their ‘summer uniform’ these holidays? You know – shorter than short, shorts; singlet top with visible bra; sandals/havaianas. (Or the classic short shorts with ugg boots, bungalow bunny look….in summer….hmm). I haven’t got a problem with shorts, OR a visible bra, OR sandals/havaianas (I have both) – I do, however, have two problems with this outfit:
Firstly – IT’S A UNIFORM!! At my high school, many female (and male) students take up arms on the uniform front and verbalise that stale argument, “It’s just clothing, it won’t affect my learning” – and then go home, get changed and look, pretty much, like most other girls. (Boys do this too – but the way they dress is for a later discussion).
The irony of this kills me. They look like clones. To coin another phrase in the same blog – my good friend Lily recently went to a formalish party and commented on the ‘cookie cutter’ outfits – spray tans, short dresses, visible bust, platform shoes – does anyone else see Bratz Dolls?
No sense of individuality or of being unique – one in a million.
Secondly – The amount of girls using this outfit to express a tone of sexual availability, is not only on the increase, but being expressed by girls who are younger every time I look.
I passed a group of five women in the supermarket this week. The first two were girls in their early teens, looking particularly spicy in their ‘uniform’; flicking hair, chewing gum and showing big, doughy eyes behind heavy eye make-up. The next two were girls aged about seven or eight. They took my breath away a little, because they were as equally decked out but with no obvious make-up…..still…..as I continued on, a bit wide-eyed at the young ones, I look up to see the fifth woman – the mother. She may have been the mother to one or all four – but they were all a feast of visual candy.
And we’re supposed to look, right? Isn’t that the point?
Last year on Australia Day, in a similar beach town, I saw a teenaged girl – she looked about 18 – wearing a bikini top with short denim shorts. The zipper was half undone and on her stomach she had drawn an arrow pointing down to her crotch with the word, ‘Heaven’.
WHY???
But it’s not just at the beach. On a recent train trip to the city with my daughters, a loud, mid-teen girl sat in front of us. She was swearing and speaking quite loudly, which made you look at her. What did we see? She was basically wearing a bra, a cup size too small as she was spilling over, with a tight singlet top that covered a bit of the bottom of said bra.
WHY???
I mean, you have to understand that I’m not a prude – I’m not offended or going *tsk, tsk, tsk* – but I do truly wonder why SO MANY of these young girls are sending out such a strong (and dare I say, possibly dangerous) message, through their ‘choice’ of outfit. Has the term ‘self respect’ disappeared from these girls’ vocabulary?
So I’m wondering:
Question #4: Where’s the guidance?
Well, would you look at that…
January 12, 2012
This is a happy entry that’s giving me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
After many, MANY complaints written via email, Facebook etc., Typo issued the following statement:
“Please be advised that we are withdrawing the “porn is our saviour” and various other products from our stores. As an organisation, the Cotton On Group respects family, social and moral values.”
Yes.
So, it appears that when a bunch of articulate women get together and communicate a firm, “No, we’re not having that” – something gets done. (Yes, there were equally outraged men, but women were the predominant voice).
But the key word there is communicate. COMMUNICATE.
Last year, I took my then 8 yr and 4 yr old daughters to the movies. We were early, so we did a bit of window shopping…well I did! *smiling*
When we stopped at the surf shop window, I saw a man’s singlet with the words “Pursuit of Happyness”. The image was of a woman’s body (no head/no identity) in a black dress, holding a champagne flute. Her legs are spread and her dress is up. Behind her is a man with one hand at the base of her breasts and the other between her spread legs – under her underpants. The corker is that you see HIS face – as he’s smoking a cool cigarette, in another superimposed image on the shirt. See the image below.
I was incensed. I started to walk away, because I was scared to say something. What would I achieve?
My stomach was flipping. I walked past two more shops before I turned on my heel and went back. I called over the only female salesperson and asked her why such a deplorable image was in their front window for anyone to see – especially children. Her response was, “Yeah, but we’re not the only ones!”. She was about 30, but sounded like one of my high school kids. I told her I knew that and that was why I was complaining. She agreed with me and gave me their Head Office number. In the following week, I tried calling numerous times, but no one EVER picked up. It was the same as the number on their website, but it was dodgy.
After the movie, I went past the shop and noticed that it had been taken down from the shop window and put with the others on the rack – just inside the front door – where a teenage boy was certainly enjoying looking at it.
OK, so it didn’t change much, but even that small action has to worth something, right?
After all, ONE less t-shirt being bought and worn with an image of an over-sexualised woman or one showing violence against women, is one less walking billboard – because that’s what they are!
If you feel that you want to keep up with issues, such as the Typo incident, or report shops for selling items like the shirt I saw, there are two great groups that I follow on Facebook. One is called ‘Collective Shout’ and the other is ‘Say no to porn t-shirts.’ Check them out – they are always on the lookout and have started and won some great campaigns!!
Question #3: Why are we so afraid to speak up and say something?
Pursuit of Happyness
I have a dream…
January 11, 2012
As I was half asleep when I wrote my first entry – I failed to mention that I do, in fact, have a dream and it’s the fuel behind this blog.
I know it sounds cliched but I actually do dream of a time when we take action – together – and create the change that, I think, is paramount. I look around and see that the world that once was, is diminishing. And it seems the ONLY reason for it, is to make a buck – regardless of consequence to the society it’s moulding.
What do I mean? Well, as an example, when I was a teen in the 80’s buying a ‘rude’ magazine meant the embarrassment of walking up to the counter with a magazine wrapped in plastic – everyone would know what was being bought. Why on earth was this measure taken? Was it because there was some sense of moral fibre and ethics?
Now let’s jump to today. Due to the internet, porn is now the largest chunck (by far) of what the internet is about. Seeing as you could get it on-line so easily, businesses and marketers realised they’d hit the jackpot. They could slowly filter in the classic ‘sex sells’ slogan – but where’s the line?
Please allow me make something clear. I truely believe that we as humans have NOT changed – pretty much ever. I think we have the same desires, wants and dreams that we did generations ago. What I think is disgusting today, is the predatory way businesses (predominantly men) are leeching on these feelings – to make money.
So, have we crossed the line? I would argue that we have.
Take Typo – owned by Cotton On. I LOVED that shop. It was so quirky and cool – it had some items with images of The Beatles, London, New York – loved it.
Not any more. First I saw the mugs emblazoned with ‘Porn is my Saviour’ and then I had to distract my 8 yr old daughter from the iPhone cover displayed behind the counter – the image you see before you – a naked girl with the word DIRTY.
Why are we dirty?
To all the girls AND boys who view this continual type of image – isn’t it going to subliminally teach them something?
This is from a family-type (I thought) stationary store, but there are SO MANY examples to discuss, so I ask you:
Question #2: Have we crossed the line?
Dirty
I finally did it….
January 10, 2012
This is going to be a quick entry, as it’s nearly 3 in the morning! I am a complete blog virgin and it’s taken a while to get a basic feel for things.
I feel a teeny bit lost, coupled with an exciting ‘living-on-the-edge’ feeling right now. The fact that my brain is barely ticking, isn’t helping…..but one thing is for sure – I am SO excited to have finally done this!
In essence, I want to ask women of all ages questions about how they view what’s currently happening in our ‘developed’ world.
WHY? Because there’s more of us…
…AND women are equal to, if not better than, men in the brain sector (as an example – girls have been dominating the honour rolls in our Yr 12 final exams for years).
HOWEVER, although the statistics seem to be weighed in our favour, we are grossly outnumbered in the top end of government, big business and corporations, and therefore have very little imput in making the BIG societal decisions that mould the fabric of our lives – especially that of our children. I feel the current paradigm of our youth is skewing towards an unbalanced and saturating, (prodominantly) man’s world.
I want to start a conversation with women of ALL AGES about this. I really want to know if it’s possible for us to make a change – UNITED – or do we continue with the, “That’s just the way it is”, way of thinking?
This is not anti-male by ANY MEANS. I’m just into the balance of nature – night/day, good/bad, man/woman…..except that last one seems a bit out.
So much for the quick entry – it’s nearly 4.30am now! I think I’ll ask my first question – quite a general one to kick things off:
Question #1: How do you feel about the way in which women are generally being portrayed in this society?
Questions for Us 