Bringing up daughters.

January 11, 2013

The following article has resonated with me deeply.

It’s fantastic.

I connected with this piece as a mother, as a mother of daughters, as a teacher of young women and as a girl who grew up with the same social ideals – just not as intense as they are now.

As a mum, I’ve often felt this and written about it:

Most girls lack a grasp of basic feminism to help them understand that many of their experiences are the result of growing up in a profoundly unequal world, and therefore not their own fault. Parents can only do so much.

I’ve heard the cliché often – that if they’ve good morals at home, the kids will be right.
Well, that would mean that my girls will be great – but am I enough against the ever-infiltrating, predatory world around them?

As a teacher I have always said the following to my teen students:

And I see how so many young women still assume that their needs come behind those of the boys they form relationships with, absorbing the message that they are lucky to have been chosen at all, when they are the ones who should be doing the choosing.

Young women and teenage girls have lost that power – it’s been given away and only women can get it back – the right to choose. They seem quite chuffed with merely being chosen and then work really hard to maintain being the chosen one.

I know. I’ve been there many times before.

Read this article. See if there are any entrenched ideals that can be shifted within you.

Imagine the profound effect on the world, if we just let our daughters, sisters, wives, girlfriends, aunts and grandmothers be their true selves.
One that doesn’t just revolve around looks and sex – or more to the point nowadays:

Looking sexy (no age restrictions).

The perils and pitfalls of bringing up daughters

Question #133: What passions do the women/girls in your life have?

Ask them. Then encourage them.

Deep Breath.

x

Sisters

PS The book Raising Girls by Steve Buddulph looks pretty awesome.

“Raising Girls is a beautiful new book written as a response to the crisis in the mental health of girls. Girls are under assault from an exploitive, harsh culture, and need our help to become stronger and freer.  This book is a guidebook for your own daughter at every age, and a call to arms in the wider culture.  ITS EASY TO READ, HAS MANY POWERFUL STORIES, AND COVERS BABYHOOD RIGHT THROUGH TO ADULTHOOD.”

ukcover

I’m going to get one.

The Debutante Ball.

May 28, 2012

This is a quick post to tell you about my Saturday Night.

I was the Matron of Honour at my school’s Debutante Ball and it was a wonderful night! There were 18 girls and they were all from my year group (Yr 11), so it was really special.

I got my hair done for the first time in years and my sister gave me a divine dress to wear.

Now, I know that some may think that a Debutante Ball is archaic – considering that the young ladies are being ‘presented’ to society – but I tell you what, it was enchanting.

As each girl slowly walked down with her partner to greet the Guest of Honour, we were all treated with an account of how these girls want to make their mark in the world.

It filled me with delight to hear the girls’ dreams and goals – dressed in white, with long gloves and a sense of ballroom elegance.

That’s the word: elegant.

I was equally proud of the young men, the majority of whom are also from my year group, for the way they conducted themselves – as gentlemen.

The Guest of Honour, a successful solicitor (lawyer, if you’re American), spoke of her journey; from her school days, full of dreams and hopes, to today. How after life’s curve balls and three children later, she finally saw her dream come to fruition…after nine years of study. It was inspirational to hear a woman speak of the value of having dreams and the willingness to stick through hard times to realise them.

There was a small element to the night, however, that was a little disappointing. Although we were in a gorgeous abundance of gowns, black ties and formality – there were some girls in the audience, who were a tad under-dressed for the evening.

Question #48: What I’m wondering is, why are there girls who don’t know how to ‘dress for the occasion’?

But to all of those who dressed up to the nines – even if it was just for one special night – you all looked beautiful, elegant and RADIANT.

Now that’s what catches the eye of the right person.

Deep Breath

x

PS This is my hair from the back! Very spoilt.

Yesterday (Saturday), on the cover of The Sydney Morning Herald was an article about the top 5 things Australian men and women worry about:

MEN:

1. My future career 2. My achievements 3. The future 4. What people thought of me 5. Doing well at work or school.

WOMEN:

1. My future career 2. The future 3. My weight 4. My achievements 5. What people thought of me.

Although both sexes worry about their career first – it’s curious to see the women’s third concern.

It reads: “Worries about weight ranked highly for women only. That was not surprising,  given the cultural obsession with the appearance of women,  Professor Hudson  said. ”But it is really alarming that 60 per cent of women said they worried  about appearance at levels that interfered with their quality of life.”

60%!

Are you one of the 60%?

The fact is that men do not have this worry and we really have to ask ourselves WHY?

Question #42: How are we, as women, contributing to this problem?

That weight worry is ‘interfering with their quality of life’ – is a gloomy statistic.

Is there any hope for change in how we see ourselves?

In regards to worrying, there is a quote I always use with my students:

Worrying, is praying for what you don’t want.

Deep Breath.

x

Full article: Whttp://www.smh.com.au/national/top-of-worry-list-work-work-work-20120504-1y47u.html#ixzz1u5WZW03W