Question #113: Why can’t we do this?
November 17, 2012
Seriously, why?
The Dalai Lama put up the following quote on Facebook:
“However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will “not survive. When we are sick or very young or very old, we must depend on the support of others. There is no significant division between us and other people, because our basic natures are the same. If we wish to ensure everyone’s peace and happiness we need to cultivate a healthy respect for the diversity of our peoples and cultures, founded on an understanding of this fundamental sameness of all human beings.”
The simplicity of this staggers me.
Isn’t this what we ultimately and deeply desire? To be happy and at peace?
The global predicament we’re in, however, is one where more people than not believe that the attainment of true fulfilment is only possible with the obtaining of money.
Money = Power. How intoxicating.
It must be addictive – the drive to compete for more, to buy the best and most expensive – even oppress…because to gain it to the detriment – the sometimes terrible detriment – of others – is inhumane.
How can we turn a blind eye towards the people who just had the truly unfortunate, bad luck to be born into poverty, into violence and war, into slavery, into prostitution…
…into a cursed existence?
Cursed.
The Dalai Lama’s philosophy (solution) is so simple.
Can’t be worse than the cancer we have now – infecting our global, toxic psyche.
Question #114: What have we got to lose?
Of course it will never be everybody thinking in this manner. Impossible.
…but couldn’t it at least be that there’s more of us, than them, to bring about a shift?
Ever hopefully yours,
Paula x
Go and put the kettle on…
November 10, 2012
Are you comfortable?
Because it’s time to have a chat – especially with the Aussie parents out there – about a magazine that’s tapping into the seedy and degrading underbelly of our boys and men’s minds and it’s using a firm and taloned grip.
I should warn you that there are images, with text, in this post that may offend some readers (I was offended…putting it mildly) and if they don’t – I encourage you to step away from your personal perspective and think of the fact that the rest of us (including {and especially} kids, whose minds are absorbing like sponges) can’t avoid them.
They’re everywhere. Shaping.
This Australian magazine’s simple existence, (along with its horrible brethren versions around the planet) – and the manner in which it has evolved and spread over the years – leaves me gobsmacked.
Well, no, I suppose it doesn’t. Once you dangle the proverbial carrot in front of a weak society, anything goes nowadays. Point in case? This magazine.
What does perplex me, however, is the desensitised indifference that society as a whole seems to have towards magazines like this.
Or is it that most people – especially parents – simply don’t know the dangerous and misogynistic reach these types of magazines have?
This magazine is cheap – only a few dollars – with no age restrictions for purchase at your local newsagency and it predominantly exploits women.
Finally, it calls itself Zoo. Are we animals?
In a recent post, Melinda Tankard Reist discusses Zoo Magazine and says:
28000 – That’s the number of boys aged 14-17 estimated to read Zoo magazine each week. Despite its pornographic nature Zoo magazine is classified as ‘men’s lifestyle’ and therefore unrestricted – anyone can buy it. Zoo is conveniently positioned and priced for young readers to purchase in convenience stores, service stations and Coles and Woolworths.
It also states that:
“More Australian men buy and read ZOO than any other magazine in the country – that’s a fact.” – ACP Magazines, Zoo Magazine distributor
28000 a week – of teen boys.
Any alarm bells set off yet?
Many years ago, I had my first experience with Zoo – around the time of its inception in 2007. A copy was confiscated from a 12 year old boy at school. I looked through it and was a little stunned – for so many reasons. Amongst its variety of ‘sections’ (including a baby-seal clubbing article with pictures), the standouts in this particular issue were:
1. A multi-paged ‘article’ with photography of raunchy video-clip stills – predominantly breasts and women bending over, mouths open in erotic ecstasy etc.
2. A section where regular, everyday girls (mostly teens) have sent a ‘selfie’ of themselves in underwear or bikini in ‘sexy’ poses, to be ranked by the readers.
3. An advice section, where it’s two women answering the queries in each issue and are photographed with only underpants on, topless but turned to the side.
A 12 year old had it.
So now I’m going to ask you to have a look at Zoo Magazine’s Home Page.
How are those alarm bells going now?
Now envisage the amount of young boys going to this site.
This is the downside of the Internet, I suppose – furthered by the unyielding force that is Facebook.
Zoo Magazine has a Facebook page.
{Of course it does; it’s good business, right? And that’s what’s ultimately respected, after all – making money}
This is the place where parents can see the ease of infiltration, as well as the predatory domination that is occurring. Remember that legally, a person needs to be 13 years old to open an account on Facebook – but we all know parents who open up accounts for their children, as young as their first years of Primary School.
Recently, Zoo put up the following post (question) for its readers on its Facebook page:
“Left or right? But you’ve got to tell us how you came to that decision.”
For those who can’t read the print, the first comment that appears in this image says: “Left…You have the mouth and the tits to fuck.”
Here are some more responses:
Women being discussed as ‘holes’, ‘it’ or the lovely, ‘either end there’s shit coming out’.
Misogyny. Pure misogyny.
And this platform sees them all clapping each other on the back and giving each other high-fives. Aaahh, the Brotherhood is certainly strong in these circles.
It’s grooming our boys and they’re multiplying. How can they not be?
If the way boys and men think about women is ever-changing for the worse (as evidenced by magazines like Zoo, the post above, Facebook pages on 12 year old sluts etc) then:
Question #110: Are we happy to stand back and let these businesses sabotage our youth by only perpetuating sex as disconnected, dirty and now violently dominating?
Some boys will never know the joy of what a loving relationship entails – where a woman’s wants are equal to his. How sad, but it won’t be entirely their fault because Internet porn and businesses like Zoo Magazine, taught them differently.
And learn they do; they’re KIDS.
I can see older men shaking their head as they’re reading this, thinking how you grew up with ‘Playboys stashed underneath your bed’ and that you turned out ‘alright’. Well, your experience and attitude is a cog (and continues to be) in the terrible state of affairs today.
The comments above are hateful. Nothing good comes from hate.
One may have entertained thoughts or ‘jokes’ similar to the ones posted on the Facebook page above but I probably would have never known; now it’s posted online and it’s permanent. Then it feeds, thanks to the unprecedented way sites like Facebook spread information.
Spreading hate.
How can that NOT be damaging our kids?
A task: Want to take some action? You can join us and let the battle begin against the visible stocking of lads’ mags like ZOO.
Next time you fill up at the petrol station or shop at Woolies or Coles, have a look and see where these sorts of magazines are positioned.
Knowing the damage it can do, just from its sexist cover – should it be there?
A friend confronted a petrol station owner who had all these types of magazines above the lollies that kids make a beeline for.
After that, it’s simple. If they listen and change, continue giving them your business. If not, take your business elsewhere and tell them why you’re doing so.
Remember that money talks. It’s the only way.
Deep Breath and go get ‘em!
Phrases put in my search engine.
November 3, 2012
And this was just yesterday…in one, 24 hr period:
What’s with all the 12 year old sluts
12 yr old sluts
12 year old sluts
12 yr old slut
12 year olds memes
I kid you not.
No…the saturation of porn – and the fact that the palate of the customer is yearning for younger and younger delights – is having NO effect whatsoever, on our world.
It’s not producing any weird, itchy, ill-feeling – like we’re crossing a terrifying line into uncharted and dangerous waters.
On the contrary! Boys and men are engaging in healthy, respectful and consenting sexual relationships; whilst girls and women are being left alone – by not being trafficked, raped, degraded and violently abused – on one hand, and are not participating in their own exploitation, on the other.
This is good. The search engine phrases above are a sign of a healthy paradigm.
How fabulous that we live in a world which permits such appetites for young girls to be made available – at whatever cost.
However, there’s one infinitesimal positive point in all this (there always is) – and that is the warm, fuzzy feeling I feel inside, when I relish the look I imagine those guys have on their faces, when their search for 12 year old sluts leads them…
…to my blog.
One teeny, tiny blip in their way.
That makes me feel good.
Imagine if I stopped one guy from continuing his search…
Question #107: Do you think I did?
If you think that this is an impossibility, then you – and in turn we – are living a hopeless existence, admitting everything is beyond our control…and we are in some deep shit.
Deep Breath.
x
PS There’s a Facebook page that has the word ‘slut’ in its title (I won’t honour it with its full name), that was started 4 days ago on the 29th October. It only posted for 2 days – the 29th and the 30th – at it already has 307 ‘likes‘.
Yes…everything’s juuust fine.
Response. Now I’m fired up.
October 28, 2012
For those who read my last post will know that it was emotional.
No apologies here.
But as a response to a comment that was left, I wrote the following:
(maybe it will resonate with you more – same message – just more fired up)
Well, that’s a lovely way you chose to end your message. I’m sure you felt I deserved that somehow?
Don’t like reading emotional posts?
My feeling of despondency doesn’t need to be mocked by you and I don’t apologise for it.
I’m feeling a bit better now, thanks to your response. Just the ticket.
It’s clear you interpreted many things differently to how I expressed them.The image is a bit cryptic. I want people to stand up because it’s the right thing to do, not seek attention. Maybe it was TOO cryptic – but hey, I’m writing for me and anyone else who is like-minded and gets what I’m saying. So although it’s not what I meant, I agree with you, yes, change will be televised.
The image you painted of ‘ambitionistas’ is a cliché. It IS as you describe – no argument – because society is conditioned to think ‘that’s the way it is’ and then, in turn, perpetuates the cliché. So yes, I agree, the stereotype of the ‘how-to-make-it-as-a-woman-at-the-top’ manual you just read from (written by a man) is spot. on.
Yes, there are women at the top in business – 3% of them.
I know the Achilles Heel of the ‘power group’ – I’ve been writing about it over and over again. There’s no need to patronise me.
Now let me explain, succinctly, the whole point of this last post.It’s to ask why we’re standing idly by and letting the shit state of things STAY THE SAME – if not worsen.
That’s it.
So thank you SO much for stating the way things are. I’m aware of them – communicated through every post – and that’s why I’ve moved just a little bit further along and started to speak up – in the hope of waking people up into ACTION with a simple raising of their voice – ESPECIALLY women.Until women say enough, it ain’t changing. Hence the name of my blog.
We are emotional creatures which is just as valuable and needed in our world. So I WAS despondent – but you have just lit a fire in my belly.
PS Do you even understand the lyrics of Hey Jude? The first verse you put in, is saying don’t hold it in – a fool for bottling it up and playing it cool. I’m not carrying the world on my shoulders, nor am I playing it cool. ???
The movement is on my shoulders? Yes, and I’m acting. Starting with me. I’ll do.
Hope MANY will join me…but there won’t be any cameras.
Get it?
Deep Breath.
I’m feeling despondent.
October 28, 2012
Again, it seems I’ve hit another moment where it all feels a smidge overwhelming.
I’m a bit low about it all.
I keep seeing – hearing – absorbing – feeling – more and more examples of horrible behaviour, greedy behaviour, hateful behaviour…
…and I just don’t understand.
I don’t understand why intelligent men and women sit back with a desensitised indifference or, worse still, defend certain elements of our society – making us tip out of balance. I feel like we’re sitting on the side of the balance that’s just started its descent…and it’s going to reach the bottom at an accelerated and unstoppable pace…
Or have we reached that ‘point of no return’ already?
I’d like to think not. I’d LOVE to think not. But am I being naive to think we can put on the brakes?
Because I’m starting to doubt that it’s possible because there seems to be a lot who defend the need for cesspools in different pockets of our existence.
It’s depressing to entertain this thought. It is.
For me, this is the crux of it:
The world is going down a slippery chute – because of money and power.
And it doesn’t matter how you look at it – proven statistically – whatever the culture around the globe, whatever the economic status…
…the true victims of any society, are women.
And the ones who wield the power and dominate, are men.
Not ALL men – but most of those who are in positions of power, are – however they came to be there. They’re the ones ruling this planet. Fact.
But I’m wondering, if there are so many of you out there – and I know in my heart you are out there (regardless of gender) – who feel like a lot of the things being brought to light are wrong:
Question #105: Where are you?
I see women like Melinda Tankard Reist and the phenomenal team at Collective Shout, who are doing wonderful, extraordinary work. They have won so many battles against things that seem inconceivable, to have been allowed to be put in our society in the first place. Inconceivable. They have little money and are flying by the skin of their teeth. But they keep going because it simply has to be done.
Where’s the equivalent loud male voice – a face – who also thinks things are very, very wrong?
Where are the voices of ALL of us, regardless of gender?
In a previous post Feeling a bit ineffectual I listed how women are the victims of this world.
Women are raped by the thousands in places like Africa – used as a weapon of war – DAILY. Women infected with diseases from it.
Women / baby girls around the planet – who are raped, molested, sexually assaulted, trafficked – DAILY
Countless countries forbidding girls from being educated. Shooting a targeted girl, point blank, in the head for wanting one. These are the countries that like war. They have their women – who could stop them if they were in decision-making positions along side them – submissively kept at home.
The poverty, the pain…
And here? In the capitalist world? Here we only reward one thing;
Making money – at whatever cost.
Most of us do it the right and honourable way – with our ethics and morals intact – but the thing I don’t understand is why we actually stand back and let the soulless monster loose in big business – to OUR detriment. OURS.
We are creating a MINDLESS culture by allowing men – yes men – the ones in power who hold 97% of clout positions in Advertising, Publishing, Tele-communications and Entertainment – to feed on all our weakest and most vulnerable points..to make money. To make a LIVING.
With their fellow men it’s done through sex and with women it’s done through vanity.
Except for the men it’s a dominant weakness and for women it’s a submissive one.
Men are happy with their vice – by indulging in the world of hyper-sexuality and porn…but women never are! Which woman actually believes they’re beautiful enough? Good enough?
What the hell’s THAT about ladies? Seriously!
We’re allowing companies to target and condition our youth to become MINDLESS.
Our silence and indifference gives them permission.
WHY are we doing this? Because it’s good business? The more we say that, the more we pave the way for another to push the ethical frontiers. I’m beginning to wonder if there are any left.
Seems like a free-for-all.
The infuriating part is that we could ALL sell-out and make a quid the fast way.
We ALL have the capacity to steal. We ALL have the capacity to cheat. We can be unkind, selfish, greedy, hateful – but for the majority of people – we’re decent.
Question #106: So, why are we letting the men in power dictate how they will feed off ALL of us – men, women and children – in this detrimental way?
All’s fair in love, war…and capitalism, it seems.
I wonder, with a heavy heart, if the line above does encompass the general attitude amongst the masses…
Again, I hope not.
This is a worthy cause, isn’t it?
Deep Breath.
Pass it on. Speak up. Anything to help create change.
On the first International Day of the Girl (yesterday 11th Oct) – we’re reading about a 14 yr old girl who has been shot in the head by the Taliban for speaking up; wanting education for girls. She was labelled an infidel.
An INFIDEL.
Educating girls is the answer. Studies have shown that the more war-mongering nations, are the ones that restrict girls attending school.
This post from Crates and Ribbons is great.
Deep Breath.
x
The 11th of October is International Day of the Girl. Today, we raise our voices in support of girls worldwide, and pledge to double our efforts to invest in their future. Not only will today go down in history as being the first ever Day of the Girl, it is also made especially poignant by the case of Malala Yousafzai, who lies unconscious in hospital, having been shot in the head by the Taliban for speaking out about the importance of girls’ education.
Reading about the tragedy two days ago, I kept thinking of a picture I had seen a while ago, and I decided to look for it again:
And that’s what the Taliban’s actions have revealed in the end – fear. Because Malala is not just any 14-year-old girl. By publicly condemning the actions of the Taliban and advocating for the education of girls, she represents an…
View original post 238 more words
Another response to a comment.
October 10, 2012
Sorry, I’ve felt like a rabbit-in-headlights with what’s gone on over the last 24 (or so) hrs.
I got a great comment that had a nice mix of argument – without delving into the pits of horrible name calling and highly emotional, negative regurgitation.
Gravitar wrote:
I kinda agree. The comments re: Julia’s father are disgraceful that is true. Abbott and Jones have won no friends, nor votes, from it. However, this is politics and it is a dirty, grubby game (don’t forget Alan Jones comes from the political sphere) and you need a thick skin to survive. I can think of other ex-PM’s who have been on the giving and receiving end of unjustifiable sexist, racist and inappropriate comments and while this is not excusable, it is a reality of modern politics. Julia’s speech was largely valid, but she is a smart woman who should have buried Abbott by now based on his policy vacuum. Use theatrics by all means, but her speech themed on “what offends Julia” is not what will make her memorable or electable. Admittedly, Julia has the uncertainty of a hung parliament haunting her which would make it difficult to be an effective leader, however she needs to have a significant policy debate with Abbott and she needs to win… repeatedly. That’s how she will win more support within her own party and with the general public.
My response:
I saw a woman who had simply had enough – and it was invigorating. I didn’t see a politician – I saw a person, a woman, who stood up and said E.NOUGH.
Look at her controlled pacing – she is pissed.
And then to have Abbott put forward a motion to get rid of Mr Slipper, KNOWING that Parliament shouldn’t be influencing the court case that must ultimately pass judgement, was a dirty blow because he knew Julia Gillard was damned either way. The court case is also now completely flawed due to the leaking of those texts. A government can’t sway the court case as that would be grossly unfair. Anyone would feel completely betrayed by the system if they were about to face a court case in the spot Mr Slipper is in now.
So Tony Abbott put her, again, in a very difficult position.
This last point, as to why Julia couldn’t express her great dissatisfaction with Mr Slipper’s sexist behaviour in THAT way, is interestingly ABSENT from popular news reports – so the reaction to Julia’s ‘double-standards’ is based on misinformation.
Do you know what I just noticed as I was writing this? That I keep referring to Mr Slipper – with a Mr, because that’s how he’s continuously been refered as, by the media. This is also true to a lot of comments I’ve read on the Internet about this issue – women included – lots of women, actually. It’s a Mister for the disgusting misogynist – but Julia and ‘her’ (and much, much worse – including ‘cunt’) for our Prime Minister.
Julia Gillard had been set up – and she let rip. Wouldn’t you?
So I say, “You go, girl!”
Julie Bishop said that Julia Gillard had set back the women’s movement by decades.
Shame on her.
When in fact, it is she who has set us back, by standing side by side a sexist boss and turning her spite on the woman on the receiving end, who said, “Enough!”.
So much for the sisterhood.
Why would ANY woman want to go into politics? Where we are so DESPERATELY needed.
The sad part is that a whole lot of women will listen to Julie Bishop.
Our female Prime Minister stood up to the behaviours that were targeted towards her as a woman and she said “No, I’m not having it.”
She just propelled women forward in a wonderful way. Why would it get such global attention if it weren’t?
If people don’t like a leader, don’t vote for them. Speak with intelligent argument about them, not signs that say “Bitch” refering to our PRIME MINISTER.
It’s so pedestrian. Such an unintelligent way to debate…if you can call signs, debating.
Is she perfect? No. Who is?
Did she find herself with her back against the wall with the Carbon Tax? Yes.
What would you have done in her position – male or female?
Do we know deep down that this is a good tax? – that it has its heart in the right place? Yes.
And yet we subject this woman to such venom.
And for who? Abbott?
The man, who as you say (and agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY with), has a ‘policy vacuum’?
A man who has demonstrated unprecedented behaviour, that has only reared its ugly head since a woman has been voted in as Prime Minister?
You say you can recall ex-PMs being subjected to unjustifiable sexist comments. I’m only focusing on this one because yes, of course, there have been racist comments made.
But sexist?? I really can’t recall an equivalent – say, a woman opposition leader…oh, there hasn’t been one. OK, ANY female politician of influence standing in front of signs with the word “Prick” or doing an equivalent action. That would have made equally big news because it would have been a rarity…seeing as there’s hardly been any women in upper politics in the past.
The truth is that men have done it to each other because that’s the gender that’s always saturated parliament.
To say Julia ‘should have’ buried him by now, is not a reflection on her – it’s a reflection on our nation – a nation that swallows every bit of sensationalist (and sketchy) reporting, that’s starting to liken our news to a cheap soapy.
I wish Australia could just gain a little more sophistication in its conversation about politics. But the question I pose to everyone is:
Question #102: How did you expect Julia Gillard to respond – as a woman – knowing our daughters are watching?
Funnily enough, the WORLD has noted the significance of her speech. But not the journalists of Australia – ie the anti-Julia bandwagon that’s ‘popular’ with the general populace.
What a pity. Because yesterday, she was a legend.
Here is the transcript of what Ms Gillard said.
Thank you so much for your comment. As always.
Paula
PS This blog is 8 months old today! Woo Hooo!
x
No respect.
October 9, 2012
I just got back from my chaperoning days in Japan on Thursday and I’ve fallen in love. What an amazing and fascinating country. Love, love, love.
The people. The culture. The respect.
Everywhere we went, even at the local 7-Eleven, we received kindness and courtesy – always bowing. It was so lovely and endearing.
Wi-Fi connection was missing from most of the hotels we stayed at (in our rooms), so I actually enjoyed the luxury of not knowing about what was going on in the world. I took a ‘time-out’ and immersed myself in actual quiet, ‘me’ time – as I rested my weary bones.
It was wonderful.
Then I came home. Back to reality with a swift slap. I learned about Alan Jones and his comment about our Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. I’ve written about Alan Jones before, speaking about our women leaders ‘destroying the joint’. To inform all you overseas readers, this time Alan Jones said that our Prime Minister’s father (who had died a few weeks earlier) “died of shame” due to her lies.
I was gobsmacked.
I simply could not fathom the cruelty of such a comment.
And to be honest, I can’t understand the venom that is generally felt towards Ms Gillard by everyday Australians. I look around and see a nation that is pretty comfortable in its rich lifestyle – ie food, shelter, beds, clothes (at the very least) – compared to many around the world…most of the world, actually.
And yet our media subjects us to a bombardment of whingers. It seems to have become Australia’s mantra, to complain about having to pay more for the necessities – necessities that mean more digging of our planet; use of water from dams, but not recycled water (god forbid) – but who don’t think twice about forking out hundreds on iPhones, computers, the latest label anything, air-conditioners…
Seems absurd – when most of the world is battling in EVERY way – to survive.
But I digress.
What I’m seeing is Australia’s media machine being given permission to treat our Prime Minister with misogynistic contempt.
I CLEARLY remember John Howard, the Liberal Prime Minister, telling his people that there would not be a GST (Goods and Services Tax) under his government. Not only did HE lie, we ended up paying – and still do – TEN percent on everything we buy.
Everything. Regardless of income. That’s massive and yet…
Where was the lynch mob then?
If you ever thought our Prime Minister was a liar and fed off the teat of the spin campaign, read this article: Her Rights at Work (R-rated version). Anne Summers AO Ph.D, gives a frank lecture predominantly about Ms Gillard’s treatment since becoming the leader of Australia, due to her gender.
“But what is NOT normal is the way in which the prime minister is attacked, vilified or demeaned in ways that are specifically related to her sex (or, if you like, her gender). Calling her a “liar” might not be gender-specific, although as I have pointed out, it was not a term used against back-flipping male prime ministers.
There are countless examples, however, where the prime minister is attacked, vilified or demeaned in ways that do specifically relate to her sex and I propose to devote the rest of this lecture to describing, categorizing and exploring the implications of them.”
This is a photo of our Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, in front of signs about Julia Gillard. He’s good mates with Alan Jones, too.
All of this reeks of the scene I saw in the documentary, Miss Representation, when Hilary Clinton was running against Barak Obama for the Democrats Leadership. Men were shouting, “IRON MY SHIRT! IRON MY SHIRT!” whilst holding placards with the same slogan, as she tried to speak.
*Shaking head*
But today – today there’s a new buzz in the air.
Alan Jones is being held accountable for his blatant misogynistic attitude towards our Prime Minister and it’s wonderful. The funny thing is that he seems to be the type of man who can dish it out, but can’t seem to take it.
What a fine specimen he is.
In the article Decent Australia says enough is enough, we are lapping up the giddy feeling of rising up and having a collective voice.
Question #101: Doesn’t this make you feel empowered? Like you can take a stand and say “Enough” at all the wrongs of the world?
I do.
But it has to be done with calm. ‘When emotion goes up; Intelligence goes down’. No insults. No threats. Just hit ’em where it hurts.
Money.
Deep Breath.
x
Two Images.
September 19, 2012
1. This is what we’re capable of – but can’t seem to fulfil.
2. Now, read the above quote and then look down at the following image.
Click here to see a previous post, ‘A visual presentation…’
Question #99: How can we honestly expect to be taken seriously?
Deep Breath.
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Incredible.
September 15, 2012
Yes – we’ve come far.
No argument.
But, on the other hand, we haven’t.
1897
Same demands, though – including ‘FREEDOM for BOTH sexes’.
It’s time.
Deep Breath.
x
Questions for Us 
