The answers to the quiz.
September 17, 2013
Here are the answers to the quiz Who said it? Rapist or Lads’ Mag?
1. ”Use a nylon cord, tie them down and…use them.” RAPIST
2. “Persuading her to fellate you can be a bit of a challenge.” LADS MAG
3. “In the bedroom there’s only one boss…she’ll like you taking charge like a real man.” LADS MAG
4. ”It’s good to [anally penetrate] women because when you have s-xual intercourse with them in the v-gina, they may not feel it.” RAPIST
5. ”You have to keep reminding them that c*ck is king.” LADS MAG
6. “Married women are frequently an easier prospect than unmarried ones.” LADS MAG
7. ”If they conduct themselves as a lady, they don’t have to worry.” RAPIST
8. “You want to pick the loosest, skankiest one of the lot, fetch her a drink and separate her from the flock.” LADS MAG
9. ”Girls purposely put up a bit of a fight before s-x to not seem easy, even if they want s-x …they enjoy the back and forth of having the guy ‘try’.” RAPIST
10. ”If she is drinking, that’s already a point in your favour.” LADS MAG
11. “I eased my way into the ranga and banged her senseless. After a few minutes me and my mate swapped and his girl was a real good f— too. I… finished up all over her [breasts].” LADS MAG
12. ”Cut your ex’s face, then nobody will want her.” LADS MAG
13. ”You think [she is] so dewy-eyed she’s never sucked d*ck before? She knows how it works.” LADS MAG
14. “Is she fragile? Then how about you let her know she’s being f—ed?…Women just really want to get f—ed.” LADS MAG
15. “All women that get turned on enough will try anything.” LADS MAG
Yes. Only four out of the fifteen were said by convicted rapists.
Question #183: Do you still want these magazines available for our sons of any age?
Do you want men to think of our daughters in this way? And then act?
We have to get rid of them.
Please help.
Challenge newsagents, petrol station owners – ANYONE who perpetuates the spread of this evil.
And yes, I do believe it’s evil because when a man’s advice is that a woman needs to be reminded that ‘c*ck is king’ then it could be any one of us that gets that reminder.
That’s misogyny – hatred.
It’s sick and it’s in a magazine with no age restrictions.
Deep Breath.
x
Take the quiz: Who said it?
September 11, 2013
Rapists or Lads’ Mags?
That’s the question.
I have always discussed how degrading and misogynistic magazines like ZOO are to our world and have also let you know that together with my partner in crime, Lily Munroe – with the strong support of Collective Shout and people such as Steve Biddulph – we are close to launching a sister campaign to the UK’s Lose the Lads’ Mags, here in Australia.
These magazines have now crossed the line and I’m over the clichéd arguments: Yes, porn has always existed. Yes, you can see a woman on the beach in a bikini. But my favourite has to be when a man responded to me on Twitter by likening a man with a bare chest on a Men’s Health magazine, as being in the same league of objectification as this:
Snore. These covers are now the gateway to what’s inside because women are not only being exploited and objectified in the images on the covers and on the pages inside – it’s also how women are being talked about. A gentle reminder (which is in the ZOO link above) was when ZOO asked its followers to pick a ‘half’:
But there’s more – there’s violence. Talk of violence against women – in magazines with NO age restrictions. It’s Rape Culture. It’s Porn Culture.
All of our rights are being exploited by having them so readily available.
Psychologists from Middlesex University and the University of Surrey discovered that the line between comments from convicted rapists and ones made in Lads’ Mags, were starting to blur. The following article explains: Are sex offenders and lads’ mags using the same language?
Question #182: So – do you think you can tell the difference?
Let’s see!
Leading up to the launch of our Lose the Lads’ Mags sister campaign in Australia we have compiled our own list of quotes taken from Lads Mags such as Zoo, Maxim, FHM and Picture as well as interviews with convicted rapists.
*** Take the quiz >>> HERE
Please let me know how you fared!
Deep Breath. x
It’s all so pedestrian.
August 27, 2013
Crass.
Dirty.
Unbalanced.
…not her – the representation of her performance.
How sad that Miley Cyrus seems to have completed the traditional transition from wholesome teen to hyper-sexualised, ‘gagging-for it’, young woman.
Anyone who has read my posts, knows that I am ALL FOR women being sexually liberated and having confidence when it comes to their sexual wants and needs.
ALL FOR IT.
But what Miley Cyrus does here – at the Video Music Awards a few nights ago – is not that.
It’s a gimmick.
A show – for those with a lecherous gaze.
Something to cause a reaction.
After all, that’s what it’s all about – the music…right?
Grinding up against a man – who is *surprise! surprise!* fully dressed whilst she is near naked, just drips in this current pop culture’s conditioning and grooming of the following:
Lesson #1: To ‘make it’ as a female artist – you have to be fuckable.
To be noticed as a woman – you have to be fuckable.
And be sure to send all the boys and girls out there, this important memo – that that is what’s important, if you want to ‘make it.’
Also plaster it everywhere they turn – just so the message truly sinks in.
Let’s also not forget that Robin Thicke is equally to blame here.
It’s shameful (but sadly unsurprising) how little there is about him when this performance is being discussed.
A married man, singing about the ‘blurred lines’ of a woman’s consent, whilst a young woman half his age is bent over in front of him, twerking up against his crotch.
Lesson #2: Male is sexually dominant.
Miley has just received Honours in the club – the club with many members:
Brittany Spears
Christina Aguilera
Selena Gomez
Vanessa Hudgens…
etc. etc. etc.
Snore
Snore
Snore
Question #180: When is a bit of class going to come back into how young women express their healthy sexuality?
One that’s balanced to their male counterpart’s…
Now THAT would be cutting edge.
Deep Breath.
x
Please read and help if you can.
August 15, 2013
**IMPORTANT***
A journalist I know is looking for parents who have had to deal with the inappropriate exposure of child to porn.
PLEASE email: melissagjacob@gmail.com
I’m going to be interviewed for this article. Chuffed!
It would be FANTASTIC to get some stories. They can be anonymous, if that is what you wish.
The effects of porn on our children is a very real and horrible reality. We must continue to have a conversation about this.
xxx
Two stories. Two 11 year old boys.
July 29, 2013
Last year, I wrote the post – Sex…education? – about my concern over our youth’s access to just about any type of porn on the internet – at their fingertips.
Playing with porn is a recent article pretty much declaring the same.
This porn paradigm is destroying a lot of our kids – it really is – and we just allow pornographers and the punters to indulge – either by watching it or making money off it – at the expense of our girls…AND our boys.
In fact, we are breeding the worst in some of our boys and girls/men and women, and the collective silence is allowing it.
In just one week I heard a few personal stories from great women I know, regarding porn – accessed through the internet – by 11 year old boys (one a son, the other a nephew).
That’s young, isn’t it? 11?
Story #1
NEPHEW: The Aunt, with her very young sons – below 5 years of age – had their 11 year old cousin visit them in the holidays.
She thought that he was showing the young boys a game on his smart phone.
It turned out to be porn images.
The Aunt found herself pouncing to deflect her sons’ focus off the images – without drawing too much attention and making a fuss at the same time.
What she also felt was incensed – not just with the fact that her nephew was doing what he was doing – but also the ease with which he was able to ‘share’.
Story #2
SON: The mother called out to her 11 year old son to come to her when at home.
He appeared – upset – saying, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to see it! I didn’t see much!”
The mother was merely going to ask him a question, but instead found herself thinking, ‘Oh no. What has he done?’
The poor boy had googled ‘Angry Birds’ and it seems porn companies will pay Google through the teeth to advertise on the top page, when those words are put in.
Predatory.
This normal, curious boy clicked on the ad because it was deceptively luring him in with information about Angry Birds.
It was a porn site.
The boy was quite upset by what he saw – on many levels.
His mother saw the shame he felt and immediately comforted him on the fact that it was NOT his fault.
It’s not the fault of any of these boys because the problem is what’s out there and its accessibility.
What’s out there, you ask?
Well, Red Tube.
Another friend told me her 12 year old son – still six months shy of entering high school – was informed by a school friend of this site.
I just looked it up and the homepage alone is utterly and horrifically graphic.
As this site loaded its welcome and revealed itself, I can tell you that I was NOT prepared with what appeared.
Simple shock was what hit me first – like a rabbit in headlights – followed by an overwhelming wave of indignant fury at this site’s very existence and finally, a very real sense of helplessness that boys who are still in Primary School are looking – learning – experiencing something many will not understand – and then passing around the name of this site to friends.
Surely the logic in our minds has to admit that the porn that’s accessible today, as well as how it’s made, is dangerous, sinister and toxic.
How can boys navigate through this, without it affecting their mental health (in terms of sex)?
How are parents, who are already finding themselves overwhelmed, supposed to help their sons form healthy, loving and respectful relationships with women, when what they see in porn is the COMPLETE opposite?
I can’t help but feel a sense of despair – and all for an industry saturated in money, dominance and violence.
Is this what we want for our sons and daughters?
Question #176: Can’t people see things are very, very wrong?
On Friday Night, SBS aired the following documentary:
Love and Sex in an Age of Pornography
(This link expires on the 9th August – please make time to watch this)
This is a fantastic collection of perspectives (from Australia) by many young adults, in relation to the porn industry.
The girls broke my heart – too many beautiful, young girls covering their tears with laughter…sitting with their agent who is literally filth.
The juxtaposition between them and him only compounds how it’s all VERY out of whack.
Below there is a petition which is following the UK’s footsteps – where a law has been passed, compulsorily putting filters and stops to porn (adult content) from reaching any computer – unless asked for – as well as making it illegal to make rape porn.
Bloody brilliant.
We want to do the same, here in Australia…
How wonderful would that be?
Deep Breath
x
![gty_teen_porn_addiction_jp_120507_wg[1]](https://questionsforus.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/gty_teen_porn_addiction_jp_120507_wg1.jpg)
I made this…
July 21, 2013
…because it’s what I feel:
Time to act.
Deep Breath
x
Let the battle begin.
July 15, 2013
In the UK, Kat Banyard – founder of UK Feminista – started a campaign to Lose the Lads’ Mags.
She has signatures from lawyers supporting her push to have leading businesses, like Tesco, cease to continue stocking magazines – such as ZOO – in their stores.
As it states in the linked article (whilst looking through a ZOO magazine):
Banyard points to one advertising sex line workers who are “just 18” and a bigger ad, on the facing page, promising “Asian Dolls: find your perfect Oriental escort NOW!”. She winces slightly. “I find it staggering that high street retailers sell these magazines mean, they’ve been on their shelves for years, but I still find it staggering that they expect customers and employees to be exposed to this and also that they think it’s OK to profit from them.”
I think this drive is fantastic.
I want to do it here in Australia – and this is why…
A few days ago, my 10 yr old daughter needed a few simple stationary items, so I said we’ll pop into our local newsagency – a family friendly place, right?
This is the same location where I had ‘words’ with the owner, a few months ago, about how he positioned his copies of ZOO magazine on a stand, so that you could see it from outside the shop as you walk by…or your son…or daughter…or grandparents…
He also had very provocative magazines in the same location – down the front of the store – near the newspapers.
When I challenged him about a magazine cover showing a naked lady sitting on a push bike, in plain view from where you get the newspapers, he simply told me I had good eyes. (?)
He also argued that ‘children never go there’.
He ended up removing the ZOO magazine stand – which was a positive step – but alas, it stopped there. He left the other magazines as they were.
It had been a long time since I had gone in there, so you can understand how livid I was when I saw my daughter head to the stationary section and noticed it is located directly opposite the Lads’ magazines.
The current cover of ZOO is this:
Below are the magazines ready for visual perusal, by anyone wanting to buy stationary in this newsagency – where ‘children never go’:
Bulging breasts, spread legs; titles such as ‘Six feet of Sex’ and ‘Hot Stuff’…oh and a naked woman.
Above these are the hard-core mags which have the majority of the cover shrouded in dark plastic.
If this is what’s ‘allowed’ to be shown – what the hell are on the other covers?
Where I was standing, as I took the photo below, is where they sell the newspapers and women’s gossip magazines. Stationary wall to the left and lads’ magazines just opposite.
Question #175: Does this incense you as it does me?
I spoke up.
The only person in the shop was a woman who I have regularly seen over the years and I told her I thought that it was completely inappropriate to have these magazines where children could see these pornographic photos – where anyone could see.
She shrugged, said she just worked there and it had nothing to do with her.
A fairly predictable and typical response and yet still deeply disappoints.
I always wonder if the day will ever come, when someone I’ve spoken to says, “Yeah! That’s true.” (A girl can dream).
She also offered an alternative place of business – Officeworks – to buy stationary.
I was surprised by that – proposing we spend our money elsewhere – and I said to her that sadly, for newsagents, it may just have to be the way.
At that point I directed my girls out of the shop and we did, in fact, go elsewhere.
There seems to be no thought for anyone except heterosexual boys and men to get titillated (and conditioned) everywhere they go, perpetuating this ever-invasive porn culture …and then profit from that.
Of course, we have the equally unsettling issue of the girls and women participating in this paradigm – who feel somehow empowered to be told by men they look ‘hot’ when nearly naked…and then profit from that.
It’s aaall OK, as long as someone’s getting rich – regardless of what ethical lines are being crossed.
Well, I am done.
So is my friend Lily Munroe and we’ve started research for our own campaign.
So stay tuned.
Question #176: Are you with us??
Deeeeeeep (nervous but pumped) breath.
x
A day at the movies.
July 3, 2013
As I stepped into the cinema complex – it was utter chaos.
School holidays. What a nightmare. Kids everywhere – excited – and asking for everything.
I took my 10 yr old, her school friend and my 6 yr old, for a stint at the movies, to see Monsters’ University.
The cinema was full to the brim of super-energized children and their parents.
Nothing was on the screen at this stage.
It’s funny that when you go to a kids’ movie, you tend to get there early.
Why is that? So loud. Kids kicking into the back of your seat…
The first ads started to roll out – the still-photograph ones – promoting the local area.
To my horror, one of these ads was for pole dancing classes, with images of women dressed as strippers – one hanging upside own with her legs completely spread apart.
Behind me, two 7ish yr old-looking boys exclaimed, “Whoa!”
All the while girls and women are being told, it’s great exercise!
So why not in sports’ gear?
Bollocks.
It’s grooming girls and boys. It’s Porn Culture.
So that was Gender Studies Lesson #1 for a lot of the children in that cinema.
Did they all see it? Or get it?
Who cares.
The two, 7 yr olds behind me certainly felt a reaction that their brains computed and filed somewhere, and I know my daughters saw it.
I was gobsmacked. It almost feels like they’re taking the piss.
Then we came to the ads for future kids’ movies. Coming soon!
- Planes (from the makers of Cars) – animated scenes from Top Gun in the ad. Boy planes talking about other boy planes.
- One about a snail (a boy) who wants to be fast and his dream comes true (fancy that). That one’s called Turbo.
- Smurfs 2 with ONE female – who needs rescuing from all the men.
- And a behind-the-scenes movie following One Direction around their world tour.
This leads us to Gender Studies Lesson #2: Almost all children’s movies will be about boys, leading boys fulfilling their destinies and boy worship.
Not girls or women. They can only (generally) be a support to helping him.
Yes – we did have Merida from Brave and what a wonderful, sassy, girl she was. I say ‘was’ because Disney are now remodelling her to look more ‘princess’ like, with a smaller waist, big doughy, cat-like eyes with long eyelashes…see below *sigh*
Left = After – – – – – – – – Right = Before.
It feels hopeless. They give us a wonderful story about a brave girl and her relationship with her mother (of all things) and then take it away again by wrapping her up in Barbie.
And then there was the actual movie, Monsters’ University. It was good in parts – it was about boys, boys, mateship, boys, boys, brotherhood, boys, boys, teachers…and one dominant female role – the meanie Dean of the University. Witchy like, but who was the best ‘scarer’ of her time. Can’t have it all (be the best AND nice), like the boys.
When we left the cinema, I did chat to the girls about why we keep seeing children’s movies that are SO male heavy and what ‘type’ of women/girls we all – boys included – soaked in.
In the few hours of our cinematic journey, the female representation we observed, was as follows:
- Ad: Stripper – sexual pleasure machine
- Upcoming movies: The only substantial amount of girls seen, in only one of four trailers aired, were screaming out their undying love (male worship) for the cookie-cutter boys of One Direction – the other needed rescuing.
- Movie: A secondary role of a mean, witch-like Dean of the University
- Movie: An even lesser role of a mother, in curlers, a mu-mu and doing the laundry
- Movie: There were some all-girl frat houses, but collectively were on-screen for about a minute.
That’s it.
I honestly can’t convey my disappointment.
Boys are so fortunate to see the same positive reinforcement over and over again – showing them how to tackle problems with the brotherhood…
Question #172: Where are the movies for our girls? Where are their role models?
And another thing – even though it could be done without it, they didn’t use the opportunity to use the plural possessive apostrophe after Monsters in the title. The perfect chance to teach everyone its use – like for Mothers’ Day.
So no grammar lesson for the kiddies either.
Deep Breath
x
PS I lodged a complaint with the cinema and the Advertising Standards’ Board. I’ll keep you posted.
Respect #2
April 26, 2013
I stumbled upon this video. A girl auditioning on one of the X Factor shows late last year.
In light of what I discussed in my previous post, I thought I’d share it.
I feel that the girl in this clip does not show respect for the male judges or male audience members, least of all for herself.
This girl – and many like her – never deserve to be attacked, raped or anything of the such. Absolutely not. Ever.
Let’s say she were raped after this performance (due to the outfit / blonde hair/ fake tan / is a woman / WHATEVER!), I would be the person shouting loudest, that what she suffered was a crime and a violation of her personal rights.
I need to make that point perfectly clear.
But when looking at the issue of respect, isn’t she disrespecting men by treating them as the mindless creatures I described in my previous post?
“The men will vote for me, because I’ll give them what they want.”
On the same note, she is also disrespecting women, by demonstrating the notion that there is no way to succeed without hyper-sexualising oneself.
What say you?
Deep Breath
x
Questions for Us 