Facebook and misogyny – just kidding!
February 21, 2013
I have a love / hate relationship with Facebook.
I love my private page as I have family and friends around the world and this fantastic tool affords me the opportunity to stay in contact, see precious photos, share articles and funny memes etc. etc. etc.
I also love my Questions for Women FB page – I can put up articles and quotes to inspire and give a different perspective to life, as well as put up my blog posts.
What I hate, is how Facebook instills a feeling of insecurity and untrustworthiness.
I do not feel like they have our back.
They are always skulking around for your info – to share or sell to the highest bidder. We’re constantly having to change settings – which have been automatically been set to ‘Public’ as a default – when they reshuffle the way their site works.
Always leaving us none the wiser and exposed.
What I hate the most, however, is that they also do not have our back in protecting us from hateful and misogynistic content being posted. Horrible sites and images just being permitted to spread – their toxic nature infecting; normalising. And why?
Because it’s just a joke, crazy lady! Relax.
Sshhhhhhh….
The thing is, though, who exactly IS the person (or people) who make the final call?
I picture a bunch of young guys in a smoke-filled room, eating fast food, surrounded by empty food wrappers, snorting at all the crazy things that are being posted.
Haawww Haawww Haawww!
The reason I say that is because they don’t permit photos of breastfeeding mothers (eeewww – gross!) – but allow pages called ’12 year old slut memes’, which I wrote about in a previous post – That’s not misogyny. THIS is misogyny.
Yesterday Karen Pickering posted the following passionate rant about Facebook:
She writes about an abhorrent image she saw on FB (it’s in there *Trigger Warning*), which she reported – twice – but was ultimately deemed appropriate for viewing, by FB.
Karen wrote the following, which struck a chord with what I feel:
I reported it despite being fully aware of a number of truths:
- that the internet is full of this shit
- that the world is full of this shit
- that this shit really happens
- that we can’t stop it from happening
- that we can’t stop people joking about it
- that people laugh because they’re conditioned to dehumanise women to the extent that they do
- that the people posting it feed off the persecution complex they get that feminists are out to get them
- that you’ll get one taken down and an even more hideous image will take its place
- etcetera ad nauseum
Yes, yes and YES! to all the points above…etcetera ad nauseum.
The image, as of today, has FINALLY been removed – but as Karen says, the world is full of it.
It’s hate. It’s misogyny. And Facebook thinks it’s OK.
Facebook must be a man.
So, if women are labelled as a bunch of hysterical banshees, who need to chill-out when they protest misogyny and violence against women, then –
Question #145: What label do the men inherit?
Let me know what you think of the quote below. My interpretation below.
In what way do I think men are stupid?
By seeing what’s happening and keeping silent.
That makes me crazy.
Deep Breath.
x
PS I know many of you would suggest that we all get off Facebook and be done with it. I think that’s easier said than done due to established connections…but if everyone I know and love switches to Google, I’m IN!
Mila Kunis on Ellen
February 17, 2013
While I was sitting in an empty hospital room, waiting for my husband’s return from his surgery – I turned on the TV and I stumbled upon Ellen.
I have to say, that although I don’t really watch the show (don’t watch much TV at all), I do really like Ellen and what she does – yes, very similar to Oprah.
What I like about these women is that they spread a message of happy and that’s not a bad thing. We need more of it.
What makes Ellen different, of course, is that she is who she is and dresses comfortably – leaning towards a more masculine look – which I love.
Her female guests, however, are different. In the past, I’ve seen many (not all) come out wearing the ‘uniform’ – cascading locks of hair, over made-up faces, skimpy, barely-there outfits, very high platform shoes etc etc.
On this particular day, Mila Kunis was the announced guest and I watched with interest.
1. Mila came out looking stylish – pants and a white top. Nice.
2. Ellen’s first words to her are: “You look fantastic” and launches straight into the fact she must feel pressure now that Esquire has named her the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’ – pulling out the magazine which dons the following cover image of Mila:
After a bit of banter, Ellen says that there must have been a lot of pressure to pose for the cover of the sexiest woman alive.
Mila’s response was gobsmacking: She said,
“The only reason I did it, was so that when I’m 80, sitting in my little chair, I can say – SEE, Grandma was really hot one day!”
Ellen responded with, “That’s why you did it?”
A pocket of women in the audience started to yahoo and cheer – of course – and with that validation Mila continued, saying that she was sure her grandmother was a “sexy little thing, but there was no photographic proof.” (???)
She holds up her cover and says, “Look grandkids – PROOF!”
Dear me.
Ellen then guides the talk towards her outfits in everyday life saying she appears to be down to earth and doesn’t seem to ‘worry about what she looks like when she goes out’ (?????) and a whole minute dedicated to her use of cargo pants.
After tediously trying to get Mila to admit she’s dating Ashton Kutcher – the topic FINALLY turned towards her craft – the movie she’s in.
However, in the 8 minute interview – the discussion of her movie lasted 30 seconds.
I have to say, it was disappointing – again – to see how this interview fixated on and perpetuated society’s (women’s) obsession with the physicality of women such as Mila, and how we applaud and revere them.
More disturbing, however, is how Mila herself – a young and beautiful girl – needs to find validation through men voting her the sexiest woman alive, hyper-sexualising herself and slapping it on a cover for all to see…
…including her future grandchildren, no less – topless and with a provocative finger over her lips.
What hope do our daughters have with self-esteem and empowerment, when women’s looks are the only topic of interest?
Question #144: How can what girls do with their minds be in the forefront of discovering who they are, when noone cares enough to represent it?
Remember: “You can’t be what you can’t see”
We’re certainly seeing a lot of young, hyper-sexualised women like Mila, which does nothing for the sisterhood and the true empowerment of our girls.
Deep Breath.
x
PS Hubby’s operation lasted four hours and had five surgeons. It seems to have gone well.
The three-to-one formula
February 13, 2013
This issue has been truly bugging me for quite some time.
Have you ever noticed the three-to-one formula on TV?
Sometimes it’s even four-to-one, but basically it’s a group of men, with a token female to fill in the gender gap. The thing is, however, that these programs seek the expert advice of a panel, which (unfairly) only ever has one female in the mix.
1.The Voice:
Here are the promotional photos of the big three – USA, Australia & England.
Pattern much?
It’s interesting to note that the men are free to look however they please – covered in tattoos; casual, relaxed clothing; physical differences such as very overweight…even old. (It would be a frozen day in Hell before we saw the female equivalents on our screen). And the females that do appear? Well, they’ve been preened and primed to within an inch of their lives.
*I never realised men were the authority in singing.
2. The Doctors:
This is an American program, which gives advice on everything medical – including episodes on what women can do to improve themselves through things like plastic surgery. I came across it on a sick day, channel-surfing.
*It came as a shock to learn that male doctors are the experts in medicine.
3. The Living Room:
This is an Aussie show where the men get out there and report on areas such as adventure activities, cooking and DIY. Amanda Keller – an intelligent and funny woman – merely compères the show…from the couch.
*Women just mustn’t be up for all the fun and travel…or capable.
4. Masterchef Australia:
The curious thing about this show, is that only the first season used Sarah Wilson ((below) as the host. She was quickly given the flick and the three male chefs remained…to this day.
*It is quite the morsel to digest – knowing the best mentors in the kitchen are male.
Question #143: Isn’t it time we had 50/50 representation on our screens, when it comes to giving advice?
More often than not – we seem to be a society that hangs on every word, when men speak with authority.
I find this extremely and increasingly frustrating – not because men can’t be experts (I’m not saying that at all) – but because we’re being taught that women can’t. We are merely conditioning the upcoming generation to only hear reason through the male voice…
…but that’s a whole other post.
Until then; Deep Breath.
x
Why doesn’t HE just get in there then?
January 28, 2013
Tonight I read the following article by Richard Hinds in the SMH, about women’s tennis:
Women offer volume for money, but it’s Tsonga counting cost
Putting aside that it drips in contempt – about pretty much every aspect of women’s tennis – I find myself thinking rather peevedly…(yes, I’ve decided that it’s an adverb):
“Why don’t you get down to a court and play against Victoria Azarenka?
I bet you she would play rings around you”.
I know it also talks about cost and emotion etc. etc. but all of that diminishes these athletes’ worth.
Since when does women’s tennis have to be like men’s tennis to be valued?
It’s still two people of equal stature, battling it out.
It seems like Australians are becoming a bunch of judgemental whingers.
Sitting from lofty towers of perfection, looking down their noses at every crevice and every action of what and who surrounds them.
*****
The above was written last night before I fell asleep with the laptop on my lap.
I’m back now because a few things have popped up today, that have confirmed the feelings I had last night.
1. Due to Azarenka taking a 10 minute medical break in the semi of the Australian Open, the media (and in turn a good proportion of the general public) decided that that, was WRONG.
She was struggling before those 10 minutes, but then came back out and won.
Was it in the spirit of how that time should be utilised? Maybe not.
Can we say for sure that she was doomed to lose, had she not done it? Who knows.
Maybe she would have won anyway.
Well, today she won the Australian Open – in spite of mistakes being cheered and winning points being booed, throughout the entire final.
Who do those audience members think they are?
I wonder if they would have done the same to Federer? Or Djokovic? Booed them.
Food for thought…
2. My friend Kim (@ allconsuming.com.au) said she watched the Brene Brown TedX presentations on vulnerability and shame and that Brene mentions Roosevelt’s speech about the man in the arena.
This quote is magnificent:
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
“Citizenship in a Republic,”
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910
Man AND woman – in the arena.
Question #141: Can women finally be counted as also being in the arena?
But as women, with our own unique strengths, not pretend-men.
Such high horses.
Please. Give us all a break.
Deep Breath.
x
A MUST watch – especially for teen girls and young women.
January 26, 2013
Dr Caroline Heldman (who appeared in Missrepresentation) spoke at the TEDx Youth Conference, for twelve or so minutes – without pause. Amazing.
It’s a bloody brilliant presentation that encapsulates everything that is wrong with our current paradigm – delivered with clear-cut explanations, facts, research and solutions.
She looks at what sexual objectification is and whether it’s empowering.
An absolutely fantastic and succinct discourse.
Question #140: So, ladies – are we going to put an end to this self-destructive behaviour, once and for all?
Deep Breath.
x
Use-by date by 40? Or Best Before?
January 20, 2013
Question #138: Why is ‘young’ the only flavour on offer for women?
I am a 42 year old woman, just shy of my 43rd birthday, and I have a huge problem with the way females negatively discuss their age around the start of this decade. There is little doubt that the money-crunching wheel out there has had a lot to do with this toxic epidemic, as it’s at this time where a woman’s invisibility occurs in her representation – once she hits her ineffectual use-by date. 40.
Even if women see themselves as ‘Best Before’ 40 – it’s still a completely disheartening state of affairs. That’s a lot of sad females not reaching their amazing (and needed) potential in this crumbling social world, at the midpoint their lives.
From the article – The mysterious case of the disappearing women – comes the following:
“Try climbing through higher education, motherhood, self-employment, years of self-improvement, gyms, diets, abstinence of everything enjoyable – from ciggies to Magnums to suntans – to selflessness, to finally reach the summit of womanhood, fit, exultant and ready to fly – to find . . . a generational wipeout,” she ruminated in a column in The Sun-Herald.
“Visibility: zero. Scream ‘Where the bloody hell are you?’ all you like, but don’t look to the movies, the media or airwaves because, aside from Gillard, Germaine on Adam Hills in Gordon St Tonight the other week, glimpses of Jenny Brockie and Jennifer Byrne, Kristin Scott Thomas and Juliette Binoche buried deep within the bowels of a French film festival, there’s barely anyone out there who represents my age group.” Ouch.
Ouch indeed.
The documentary Miss Representation, disclosed statistics showing that although women aged 40+ comprise a large chunk of our gender, we are microscopically misrepresented in the media – especially in film.
What we are being saturated with, are images of women in their 20s – generally looking perky and ‘hot’. The damage this does to our developing young girls alone, is something that should inspire us to act in a more positive light towards our aging bodies. But no.
Even though women in their 30s are still attractively visible – there’s no denying that it’s the decade when it all starts to trickle down to being transparent. The irony is that many women who are in the limelight, struggle through that decline kicking and screaming, disfiguring their faces with injections and surgery, only to still end up on the ‘too old’ scrapheap. Double irony? Their male counterparts are doing just fine in their (generally) natural, greying and lumpy selves. And they don’t look freakish.
It’s been said a million times (which just imbeds that frustration in a bit further) but this is happening because a woman’s true value and efficacy is being packaged to solely be attached to her youthful glow and, in turn, her sexual allure. Can’t be older AND be sexually attractive! Goodness me. That’s simply not possible.
My eyes! My eyes!
Doesn’t it infuriate women to know that even though they spend billions on ‘improving’ themselves (just like they tell us to), it hasn’t afforded them any more airtime?
How sad that for many females, in this time when they are truly coming into their own skin and really start to understand who they are; where they want to run out onto the street and toss their hat up in the air like Mary Tyler Moore – is the exact moment society doesn’t want to know. I found myself feeling vital and energised when I turned 40, in many areas of my life and I know that there are many, MANY women who feel the same – so where are the tales of my fellow sisters in the same proverbial boat?
It would be simply marvellous to actually hear the stories of women’s life experiences – with a spectrum of what’s possible – not just witness the same narrative over and over again, where the story is about the male and his destiny and the young and ‘gorgeous’ girl chases guy for love (or support), or worse still, we actually DO see the wonderful achievements of women, only to have them be overshadowed by her outfit or cellulite issues.
We’re ever so much more.
I would also like to strenuously point out that if, on average, we live to the age of 80:
Are we really saying we’re going to be depressed for HALF our lives about our age?
>>>> Half our lives?? <<<<
Surely NOT!
Embrace the magnificent being you are and get out there and enjoy those next 40 years! That’s an order.
Deep Breath.
x
Birthday #1 – A sum up of 2012.
January 10, 2013
To start with a cliché – if I may – I can’t believe how this past year decided to get really serious with us and hit that turbo button. It felt like it was jammed, through every crevice, with work, responsibility, the pursuit of balance, mixed with pockets of frenzy.
Relief in sight? I’m not really seeing how – society, on the whole, appears to want to give us a run for our money…literally.
A year ago today I started this blog in the early hours of the morning. My intention was to start in on the 9th, but it took me so long to write and re-write that first post, that it tipped me into the 10th.
As I took that first tentative but excited step into the blogging world – already preceded by three women friends of mine, with well established, fantastic and unique blogs (shitonyourplay.blogspot.com, www.allconsuming.com.au, bumpyroadtobubba.com) – I wondered two things:
1. Will ANYONE read it? (every blogger’s primary fear, I assume)
2. Will I run out of things to write about?
Well, I’m happy to say that although I only have a small following, a following it is. I’m not sure if my stats are ‘good’ but I have engaged in some wonderful debate and perspective changing conversations.
In terms of point 2 – there’s no way that I can possibly run out of issues that need to be discussed – investigating the infinite tapestry of actions and viewpoints that make up the human condition. In fact I have so many posts in draft mode (29) – I’m not sure I’ll ever get to some of them, as another morsel of importance invariably pops up.
So after the last year, what are the primary questions that are racing through my mind? The following is the nutshell (if you can call it that):
1. Why do women earn less than men?
This is the first and fundamental question. Women have to work approx. 60 days more a year – that’s two months – to earn the same as men. Why? This MUST be the first step of change if we want to even presume we live in a fair, balanced and just society.
2. Why do women not share the equal balance of power and decision-making?
We all have brains and women have incredible, and repeatedly proven, intelligent ones. Pity men don’t see it that way – they are stopping the chance of equilibrium and a more harmonised existence to maintain the status quo.
97% males in positions of power in publishing, communications, marketing…how can that be considered good, by anyone?
3. How are women’s attributes perceived?
No one wants to be a girl/woman – as who we are and what we have to offer is not considered valuable – emotional, weak etc. (unless it’s to be a ‘mother’ in some form or another), so we’re all encouraged to be like boys/men to get to the top, as it’s the ONLY way things can ‘work’.
4. How are women represented in the current popular culture?
We are represented as being grossly and obsessively insecure, vain, fickle and hyper sexualised. TV shows, movies, video clips and Reality TV shows, like The Shire, have played a huge role in this. In terms of advertising, we have always been force-fed the phrase, “Sex Sells” and taken it as law. The only problem is that it’s only our sex that’s being sold.
5. Why are women being exploited for money? Worse still, why do women play into it?
Women are instilled (soon to be from birth – the final frontier) with a sense of massive insecurity. We are painted an ever unattainable picture of what we have to aspire to, to be considered beautiful. To say the perception of beauty is a constricted one, is an understatement. The only way to ‘get there’ is to shell out insane amounts of money, as well as revere those who can afford it…who look like plastic. (???)
My logical brain cannot compute how women allow themselves to be duped in this manner. All of this only sets women up to fail, hate themselves and, in turn, spend more money. We pay more for EVERYTHING – clothes, shoes, haircuts etc. – and yet, look back at point 1.
What about our boys/men?
6. Is the internet teaching our youth about sex in a detrimental manner?
I think so. Especially for boys as it’s in their nature to view porn. As I’ve always said, I don’t think the feelings and hormones have changed since the days of yore – but the internet and its reach did not exist in the past. Porn is much more explicit now. How are boys going to establish loving and respectful relationships with women when they’ve seen woman after woman dehumanised as merely a sexual object? Sex…education?
7. Why do we have a culture actually named, Rape Culture?
Rape everywhere. In every corner of the globe.
8. Why are men’s responses to these issues so defensive?
I find it a tad frustrating that many men take comments made about their gender personally and some even start to actually argue for the (right??) to perpetuate the derogative labels lumped on women: Bitches, Sluts etc… at home, in jokes, in games, in shows, on drinks’ menus…
9. Where are the voices, and faces, of all the good men?
We know you’re there, but we can’t hear you!
So this is the big 10th question for my first birthday blog:
Question #132: What is our legacy going to be?
What can we do to look back and feel proud of how we, as a village, raised our children by moulding a more balanced world for them?
The pivotal word there is BALANCED.
We have to stop looking at the typical cliché, “That’s the way it’s always been and nothing’s going to change.” In terms of how we feel inside – yes, that’s true – but we are in a critical state of denial if we think that the information that is available to everyone, of every age, as they sit at their computer, is not having a detrimental effect.
I believe, wholeheartedly, that we can create change – but it must start with the individual.
Thank you SO much for joining me this year. I eagerly look forward to more passionate debates, discussions and fiery conversations with you.
Deep Breath.
x
Just to clarify from my last post. Rape Culture #2.
December 30, 2012
Two women left great comments, in response to the previous post about Rape Culture.
I would like to address two of the points made by these women.
1. lamehousewife was suggesting that the ad on the bus is a reflection of the type of women the priest was talking about.
I agree.
Throughout my posts, I have always made a strong point (I hope) on the massive contribution women are making to the problems they face in this patriarchal society. Ads, like the one on the back of the bus, can only exist with a woman’s consent.
Without women agreeing to normalise this hyper-sexualised, fickle, fake image of womanhood – we have little chance of attaining any sort of equality amongst this man’s world.
However, I AM about balance and the point of my last post was simply that the solution/solving conversations that make the papers, are about what women have to do to stop the Rape Culture.
But what about the guys/men? The ones COMMITTING the crime?
The CRIME.
Most of the time, it has nothing to do with what a woman wears. A lot of the time it can be a family member, raping a daughter/niece…or she didn’t do as she was told…or she looks like his mother and he hates his mother…etc. etc. etc.
I’m sure I (we) could find a gazillion reasons why so many men rape women…but the only common denominator, is that it’s men inflicting violence against women on an unprecedented and global scale.
As I said in my response, there is currently heated discussion at the prevalence of males being behind mass shootings, like the recent ones in the United States. Well, this is MORE prevalent…and also inflicted by men.
Where’s the article on that in mainstream media?
Where are the mental health programs for them? Or is it simply too many men?
More importantly:
Question #128: How are our boys being taught NOT to think of women as useless (except for one thing) and ‘gagging-for-it’?
If we’re not implementing the above, then we are simply stepping aside and allowing the Rape Culture to perpetuate.
You can get it on a t-shirt (this one’s a tame one):
Or in a meme:
You get the idea…
2. Kate left a fantastic comment which hits the nail on the head; looking at this from another angle. A part of what she wrote was the following:
“I long for the time women regain their worth, their subtle and centred power, and this can’t happen by drinking as much as men or lowering our sexual standards by removing our sense of love and care and giving, or by trying to ‘be’ like men. We are depth that are women! Yet we seem to be under the stupidity of unawakened ideals that put us ‘beneath’ another gender.”
Exactly, right?
We simply can’t allow ourselves to believe what’s said about us or how we’re portrayed. We are actually short-changing the fantastic, awesome wonderfulness that it is to be a woman and short-changing what we can offer – together with men.
Finally, another reader left the following YouTube clip. It was posted online only a few months ago and it’s your regular, fit, young man giving out some advice to ‘the brotherhood’ about women.
Some of the language used may offend some women.
And this is the type of guy that’s out there…
It’s not all of them – no – but they’re what’s in fashion now.
Any alarm bells ringing yet?
Thank you so much for all the engaging and insightful comments and calm discussion. Keep them coming!
Man or woman.
Deep Breath.
x
Rape Culture. Just the way things are.
December 29, 2012
Sorry for the heavy title, but a few articles popped up today, that have me incensed…again.
Why? Because the current reign of our ever-present Rape Culture, seeping into every crevice, is simply infuriating me.
The definition of Rape Culture from upsettingrapeculture.com, writes the following:
WHAT IS RAPE CULTURE?
In a rape culture, people are surrounded with images, language, laws, and other everyday phenomena that validate and perpetuate, rape. Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. Rather than viewing the culture of rape as a problem to change, people in a rape culture think about the persistence of rape as “just the way things are.”This is what it means when people say that sexism and violence against women are “naturalised.” It means that people in our current society believe these attitudes and actions always have been, and always will be.
Just the way things are. Just are.
Question #126: Isn’t that the general reason/excuse for indifference?
Infuriating.
I started this post today after I saw the following article regarding the comments made by a Catholic Priest – Father Piero Corsi – in Italy:
Italians outraged by priest’s claim that women bring violence on themselves.
“The title of message was ‘Women and Femicide, How often do they provoke?’
“Father Piero Corsi said scantily dressed women bring out the worst instincts in men and cause violence or sexual abuse. He claimed women end up exacerbating tensions by ‘leaving children to themselves, having filthy houses, serving cold meals, buying fast food and providing dirty clothes.’ “
Great.
When will ‘the worst instincts in men’ be what attains the pressure from society to change?
No, no, no. It’s us – women. WE have to change…how we dress, how we act, what we say…
But…really…is that what the men in the church (and men in general maybe?) feel is the actual solution?
Will rape and violence against women cease to exist if we stopped wearing plunging necklines?…and stopped providing dirty clothes…and serving cold meals (is that a cold heart too?)…and…and…and…
We all know the answer to that is no.
Hence, we have a Rape Culture.
And yet, if all the rational people think that what’s happening is going down a dark, violent and septic alley, why are we not seeing anything being implemented to stop the continuing, harrowing statistics?
Now I have an even heavier heart due to reading that the poor girl who was gang raped in India, has just died from her injuries.
The following article was a response to the Indian girl’s rape itself, telling women they should carry chilli powder to throw in the eyes of their attacker and not go out at night.
How to prevent sexual assault (no chilli powder required)
Again, GREAT! Anything else for women to do?
This article does have a wonderful list of tips, however, that should actually be used to encourage a change. Tongue-in-cheek – yes – but you get what it’s saying:
Anne Bartow’s Sexual Assault Prevention Tips
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behaviour.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “by accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
Makes sense doesn’t it?
Here’s an idea: How about it’s NOT women who attempt to stop things, from a defence position; not being allowed to be themselves.
How about governments intervene from a ‘childhood educational angle’?
Tone down the amount of imagery that’s EVERYWHERE, like this:
I pulled up behind this bus when it was stopped. This is the moving billboard, distracting everyone who’s driving. And where’s the filter for all the developing brains who are taking it all in?
Woman=gagging for it (look at the image)=looove sex=rape.
Question #127: How about implementing a new program in schools? Australian National Curriculum?
We need something. Anything.
Deep Breath.
x
Physiology.
December 14, 2012
A week or so ago, my family and I had a bit of a Christmas gathering as it was the only time a lot of us were going to be all together. It was so lovely because it was a rare collection of loved ones who were all able to make it on that day only.
One of our dear family friends said a very elderly neighbour had recently passed away and that his children had finally gotten around to sorting out his belongings – some of which they kept and some, thrown out.
This friend rescued a full set of Children’s Encyclopaedia Britannicas and asked if I wanted them. To say I was chuffed was an understatement. They were published in 1970 – the year of my birth. I also got a four volumed set of The Cycle of Life – looking at the birds and the bees and titles such as, ‘How do you know it’s love?’ and all from the 60s.
They are truly wonderful and a treasure. and the smell of them – old and musty – is just divine.
A few friends had asked why I would want them as all the information would be outdated. Well some would be, but not all of it. Picasso is Picasso; the basic information would be the same.
I – or more importantly – my daughters can pick up a volume and read through some bits and pieces. I did that today, when I picked the volume with ‘Paintings’. There are beautiful, colour, glossy pictures of famous paintings – I found a beautiful, hand drawn illustration of the Pied Piper of Hamelin…it just goes on.
See, the stuff you get off the net is what you look for specifically and there are generally millions of pages presented to you – that flash up when you’ve typed in your search engine term. Millions. So most go with the top couple and that’s it.
But these books have intriguing, snippets of information – some information hasn’t changed and the areas that have, have you looking on with wonder at how much our society has progressed over the last 40 years or so – especially (obviously) in the area of technology and engineering. In other areas, however…
Basically I keep stumbling upon things that, more than likely, you can’t find on the net.
As I was flicking through, I found Physiology (the study of how our body works, like a machine) – which inspired this post. One part reads:
Everyone is born with the power to do these [automatic] reflexes without thinking, but people can learn other reflexes, such as riding a bicycle and feeling hungry as a mealtime draws near. These are called conditioned reflexes. Much of what a person does – that is, their physiology – is made up of automatic and conditioned reflexes.
Fascinating…and sobering.
Why? Because I think society is allowing businesses to feed on our automatic reflexes to make money – but are in turn creating conditioned ones. Bad conditioned ones…and there appears to be no end in sight because most people think ‘everything’s fine’.
Example? The recent discussion on the net over the Playboy Bunny bedspreads in the arts and craft shop Spotlight, had many people, of both genders, saying to relax – you just tell your young child that it’s a regular, ol’ bunny. Yes, you can, until it’s everywhere and the association of what it really stands for becomes quickly embedded and comes at a much, much earlier age.
At this moment I realised how little we go to the past anymore.
Noone looks back. Just forward.
Just more.
Pushing that line with an ever growing army.
While we stand idly by.
Let’s look back to our youth and its artists.
I looooved Duran Duran. I may have mentioned this before, but I was convinced that Simon Le Bon need only look at me (with my braces aged 14) and know he had found the one. But even though I was surrounded by posters of Duran Duran, I still knew of older artists and their contribution to music:
The Doors (another love), The Beatles, Elvis, The Stones, The Eagles, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Easybeats, The Monkees, The Style Council, Bob Marley, Simon & Garfunkle, Christopher Cross (don’t laugh), Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra…etc.etc. etc. I could go on.
Question #121: Who are our youth listening to today? And what are the messages in their songs?
Because there seem to be a lot of similar looking videos – hyper-sexualising girls and young women all wearing the ‘gagging-for-it’ uniform, as they writhe around the screen…and who can forget the famous lyrics:
Man: It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.
Woman: I am getting so hot, I’m gonna take my clothes off.
As well as the plethora of references to being nasty, freaky, hot, sexy and many more delightful terms. I heard a new song from Kanye West and the chorus goes like this:
Ain’t nobody f*ckin’ with my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
Ain’t nobody fresher than my muthaf*ckin’
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
As I look around, they don’t do it like my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
And all these bad bitches, man, they want the…
They want the…They want the….(Insert the word dick)
Your kids may be listening to this song. It’s Kanye West.
Question #122: Is our youth’s conditioned reflexes changing their physiology for the worse?
Deep Scientific Breath.
x
Questions for Us 