A question for men – #3
July 3, 2012
Just a quick observation.
I was watching The Project last night and one of the stories was about an annual competition here on the east coast of Australia:
The Face of Origin…
…for The State of Origin, of course.
As usual, the women all looked the same – long hair, lots of make-up and fake tan, little amount of clothing etc. etc. Snore. Snore.
I actually wonder how the guys pick the ‘winner’ out of the bunch…eeny, meeny, miney, mo?
Anyhoo, that’s just one angle – the obvious one – but here’s my question to you:
Question #65: Why can’t the ‘Face of Origin’ be a guy?
It’s a $20,000 prize.
Twenty THOUSAND dollars!!
So why can’t it be a guy? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a guy represent the ‘face’ of Rugby League?
With that sort of money – I was curious as to what you thought…
Deep Breath.
x
Feeling the strain, mums and dads?
June 29, 2012
A few months back I wrote a post about the balance (or lack thereof) in our lives called – The strong, but stretched, women around me.
Recently I went through – and to some degree, am still going through – a very rough patch with myself, especially in regards to my daughters.
A lot of tiredness from work – both in my place of employment and at home – coupled with less patience and a shorter fuse, meant that things weren’t good.
And the GUILT.
Every time I faltered, I saw any efforts made to change things around (because it had to start with me), go down the toilet.
But my mind is just SO. FULL. It is a rare moment where there isn’t something to organise…coordinate…remind…do…
…and from talking to friends of mine, of both sexes, there are a lot who are struggling for some meaning to it all because of how hard it seems to be at times.
In these more desperate moments, I have found myself stepping back and looking at how our society is structured and wondering how (or if) it’s contributing to all this.
Our society is pretty archaic. It hasn’t evolved much.
We have, in essence, been living the same sort of life for decades and besides some changes here and there – like there being more women in the workforce now – we are inherently still chasing the same sort of dream or blueprint to ‘happiness’ as past generations – go to school, get a job, buy a car, buy some type of housing, get married, have kids…and start all over again.
Which lends itself to make us question why we keep repeating the same ‘type’ of life, time and time again.
Even our school system, based on the 50s, hasn’t changed. In a YouTube video called Did You Know?, it states that:
“The Top 10 in-demand jobs in 2010…did not exist in 2004. We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t exist yet…using technologies that haven’t been invented…in order to solve problems we don’t even know are problems yet.”
It’s gobsmacking, when you think about how technology, jobs and skills are growing at the speed of light – while we obsess about whether our child will ever be a success if they struggle with English, Maths and Science. Watch this following clip about our education system – it will blow you away:
So we’re in a circular, Groundhog Day, style of life that we pretty much pass on to our kids, with a few tweeks here and there.
Question #64: Is it possible to gain the right balance for both women and men in the important areas of our lives?
The following article: A Million Women Are Reading This, is absolutely fantastic!
I think it challenges us to think about the issues that affect all men and women, and whether it’s possible to change for the better – a change that matches the world we currently live in, not one from decades ago, when the decisions of ‘how life should be’ were made.
I’ve touched on a lot of the issues in this article, throughout my posts.
What do you think?
Deep Breath.
x
Chinese abortion.
June 17, 2012
The Illegal Chinese Abortion has caused an outrage – and with complete and absolute reason. A seven-month foetus, illegally aborted, whilst restraining the hysterical mother and putting a pillow slip over her face. Even through the pixellated image – you can see it was the same size as many babies we’ve seen born a little early, but easily survive. It was a baby.
Now I’m sure we’re all on the same page. This was so very, very wrong. I found myself quietly crying, imagining such a horrific experience and feeling my whole heart ache for this woman.
I don’t know about you, but this sort of story just fills me with a deep despair. A despair that opens the flood gates of the countless, actual countless, and endless atrocities that are happening at this very moment ALL around the world.
So I have to ask:
Question #58: Why doesn’t the human race appear to improve and evolve as time goes by?
So much misery in the world – with a select few making ‘power’ decisions that menace and devastate.
How is it that there was noone – not one person – who stopped this woman’s baby from being executed?
The worst part of it is – that there are always so many who are ready to do the unthinkable. Twenty staff from the family planning department went to arrest the seven-month pregnant woman. Twenty.
So sad.
*Shaking my head in disillusioned dismay*
Deep, deep Breath.
x
A question for men – #1
June 3, 2012
Well guys, in true faith of the fact that I’m fighting for a balanced world and perspective, I’m keen to also strike up a conversation with you.
I know that there are MANY men who agree with the fact that things are skewing out of balance in what is being portrayed about both girls and boys; women and men. But, of course, there’s always a perspective that men have, that is quite different to women’s.
Adam wrote a response to my post, Just sayin’ – #4. It reads:
I think – as a bloke – I’m not interested in mens tennis but id rather watch womens tennis (not just for the grunting either) It is also a better style of match to watch.
I wouldn’t watch women’s rugby but i would watch the lingerie ball if it was on telly – I wouldn’t go to it or go out of my way mind you
What I’m saying is that if women market themselves as aesthetically pleasing they actually have an ADVANTAGE over men in sports –
Why is this so bad when women like Lauren eagle use their good looks (unfortunately not speaking ability though) to get sponsorship and money – I dont see the same opportunities coming to a young guy with the same skill-set.
Athletes play to their strengths and good luck to them – what would these girls in the Lingerie ball be doing otherwise? checkout, home mums, glamour work or worse? Maybe some have other jobs – that would be great – but this is where i reckon they make their money – and good luck to them.
I know women like watching mens contact sports because of the guys looking “fit”
Thats what i think – Ads
My reponse to this is simple. I understand and agree that women have always been ‘the fairer sex’ and have used that to their advantage, to an extent.
However, it’s becoming the ‘poster’ for our young girls – except it’s not the ‘seductive’ or ‘sexually mysterious’ look that we used to have – in this internet and inter-connected current culture – it’s just ‘slutty.’
Can you see the difference?
Tonight on The Project (again) they had a story on the LFL because the first demonstration game was on last night, in Brisbane.
Wow! I tell you what – the footage I saw of the US girls playing, was full on. They were smashing each other. It was really impressive actually. They looked like amazing athletes. I did cringe, though, when they were being rammed into the ground – with nothing but bare skin.
So…why can’t they wear proper protective gear?
The audience was a sea of men, drinking beer. Collective Shout posted the following:
“Heaps of kids there, great family entertainment” reported Mike Goldman from last night’s Lingerie Football League event in Brisbane. He also tweeted this picture.
Would all of these men have gone to watch if the women were dressed like their male counterparts? If the answer is no, which I suspect it is (tell me if I’m wrong) – then there’s the problem and why it’s going too far. What does it say about us as a society?
One of the panelists on The Project (I can’t remember his name) said something about this being “the women’s choice to play.”
Yes, it’s their choice. But I wonder why there are so many eager candidates. Are we teaching a generation of girls that it’s OK to dress this way – even in sport? Do you think it’s OK?
If you are a parent, relative or friends with people with young girls and boys:
Question #51: Do you think the casual acceptance of the LFL is an indicator that things are heading down a dangerous road?
I see young boys, like the one in the picture above, learning about women and how this saturated look is fine tuning his tastes for ONE sexually desirable look.
I see young girls learning that men only want ONE sexual look.
Why? Because it’s everywhere – right into their smartphones, in their hands.
Question #52: Is this what we really want for our young ones? One look – no variety – just to make money?
If you’re new to my blog, I have always stated that I think men and women have had the same desires throughout time, and that’s cool – but I didn’t have this in my face when I was growing up (I’m 42).
How do we navigate and guide our youth through this? Surely saying the LFL is OK, is not the way.
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
Deep Breath.
x
PS If you’d like to vote against this sport coming to Australia – because these women (and in turn our daughters) are being objectified – go to Change.org and cast your vote.
http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-the-lingerie-football-league-in-australia
What about the white elephant in the room?
May 25, 2012
The creator of the LFL, Mitchell Mortaza, has issued an official statement in direct response to Australia’s Federal Minister for Sport, Kate Lundy.
I am utterly perplexed because what we’re saying is simple. Either the men involved don’t get it or they just want to have things their way. I think they get it.
In the statement, the only issue Mortaza discusses about the LFL, in its defence, is the actual sport itself. I don’t think there’s a single woman out there who wouldn’t applaud any female athlete, who challenges and extends her physical boundaries.
But what about the white elephant in the room? The fact that the women are playing a tough, injury ridden game in. their. frilly. underwear! …with garter belts, bow ties and accidental nudity to boot!
Question #47: If it truly is all about the sport, why do the women have to play in unprotective, sexually provocative underwear?
THAT’s the problem. It’s sexism…and it’s exploitation. As a response to a comment left after my last post, I wrote:
This is what was written about one of the US players of the LFL:
Tampa Breeze Florida player Liz Gorman told CBC Radio earlier this year what it is like to wear uniforms designed for maximum flesh exposure: “Oh. Well … well, honestly … I don’t like it. I’d rather wear full clothing. Because when you fall, it literally rips your skin. I’d love more clothing, but at the same time like any sport, the players don’t get to choose the uniform.”
Well, she doesn’t sound like she loves it but if she says no, she’ll probably lose her job. Do you know what it reminds me of? When I worked in Uruguay and the people there had terrible workers’ rights – and if you didn’t like your situation? Well, there’s a queue of people willing and waiting to take your spot. It’s exploitation.
On the Collective Shout FB page, they wrote:
“Have just been listening to some interviews with ex LFL players. All the same story, they say they paid health insurance with the LFL, endured a serious injury and the LFL refused to pay. One woman is thousands in debt because of medical expenses.”
Wow, sounds like a dream job! The fact that all these revelations are coming out means that these women are (or will eventually) be exploited. Bottom line.
Therefore, it’s wrong and we should fight against it coming here.
According to Mortaza, the Australian fan base brought them out. Surely there’s more of us who are against it…surely…
Does anyone else like Mortaza’s suit? Nicely covered, isn’t he? One woman wrote the following on Collective Shout’s FB page:
“People with power are clothed. People without power, unclothed. Simple”
I’ll leave you ladies with something to mull over. On the issue of gender clothing coverage, have you noticed how guys’ boardshorts are getting longer? I’ve seen lengths that are mid-calf. MID-CALF! That’s a lot of coverage. What are they trying to hide? They used to wear actual shorts 25 years ago…actually guys and girls had similar lengths.
So, why don’t they wear Speedos?
What? They don’t want to show the world their ‘penis bump?’ Feel a little too exposed?
Women, on the other hand…
Deep Breath…and don’t forget to vote against this on Change.org!
x
This is a great post about The Lingerie Football League coming to Australia. Not only is this as sexist as it gets – they are enticing families to take the kiddies along. We must all stand up and say “NO” to this.
Deep Breath
x
Today’s Herald Sun featured an article by Australian women’s activist and www.collectiveshout.org co-founder Melinda Tankard Reist, reiterating all the reasons we should not let Lingerie Football League (LFL) come to Australia.
WHEN a man plays gridiron – or American football – he is dressed for maximum protection to ensure safety in a game known for its raw physicality. His body is covered, with little exposed flesh, to minimise injury.
It’s not the kind of game a man would consider playing in his underwear. That would just be dumb, right? But it seems rules are different if you are a woman playing for the Lingerie Football League (LFL). The less clothing the better. In fact, it’s a requirement of the game.
LFL is blatant sexualisation and sexism, while promoting violence towards near naked, physically unprotected women, with outrageous clauses for maximum boob and bum exposure with little or no pay and the whole…
View original post 312 more words
At the start of the week, I (and hopefully you) signed the petition against the Lingerie Football League.
Very late last night I signed the following petition:
Basically one of our high-profile AFL (Australian Football League) players, Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin (a ‘role model’), is part owner of the ‘fashion’ brand Nena & Pasadena – that includes the porn t-shirts I’ve featured in previous posts.
Collective Shout has started this petition, calling the AFL to action on this football player. This is some of the explanation on the petition:
The Australian Football League’s Respect and Responsibility Policy represents the AFL’s commitment to addressing violence against women and to work towards creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community. The Respect and Responsibility Policy is about shifting attitudes – ensuring that people throughout the Australian Football industry are aware, and have structures in place, that recognise that violence against women and behaviour that harms or degrades women, is never acceptable.
AFL player Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin is an owner and model for the Nena and Pasadena fashion brand, which designs porn-themed t-shirts, fosters misogyny and encourages rape jokes.
Franklin’s management has been quick to distance their client from the brand maintaining he is “a shareholder only”. However, Franklin deliberately uses his AFL profile to promote the company on countless websites and in the media and has self-identified as ‘owner’.
We want to tell the AFL that Franklin’s continued ownership and promotion of Nena and Pasadena is not consistent with the AFL’s Respect and Responsibility policy “creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community.”
I recently had a look at Nena and Pasadena’s Facebook Page and it asked of its followers: “How do you seal the deal? Best answer wins a t-shirt.”
I read the responses like – “I hope she can’t run faster than me down the alley way,” as well as some with references to rape and women being refered to as ‘bitches’ – and it made my stomach sink. These regular guys are out there and that’s how they feel about women. Thankfully it was reported and that comment feed has now been taken down.
Please sign! Every vote counts!
Deep Breath.
x
The following picture is of Franklin in one of his T-shirts:
Sign the petition!
May 10, 2012
OK ladies AND gentlemen – it’s time to act!
Click on the following link and vote against the Lingerie Football League!
It’s time to stop revolting ‘ideas’ like this becoming a reality. A friend saw them taking photos of the Aussie team, in a park in front of her child’s school.
Saturating and unavoidable – unless you cast your vote and say, “NO!”
We all have women we love in our lives – daughters, sisters, nieces, mothers – respect their honour and the fact that we need to nurture strong women for a better world – not insecure women who are being educated to believe that their sole purpose in life is to provide men with erections!
The radio station – Triple M – is sponsoring this. Let them know you’re not happy with an email!
Deep Breath…and do it!
x
Sex…education?
May 9, 2012
In Australia, we have a show called Insight, where a panel of relevant people are assembled and, together with the audience, discuss a contemporary topic. The topic last night (Tue 8th May) was how easily children/teenagers are accessing porn and the effect it’s having on them.
It was fascinating and terrifying to watch, all at the same time. The panelists, consisting of three young adults (around 18-20 yrs old), discussed their first experience with porn – which was around ten yrs old for the boys and the girl said she was eleven.
ELEVEN. I have a daughter who’s nine. That’s one of the terrifying parts. One of the earliest images this girl remembers seeing, which affected her deeply at the time, was one of The Simpsons family…having sex with each other. To her young mind, this was disturbing.
Another scary part, obviously, is the explicit nature of what can be found – or worse, pop up. One of the boys said a pop-up gave him his first taste of porn, which in turn sparked the curiosity. They all said it was curiosity that kept them going back for more, as well as starting to learn ‘what to do’ during sex.
Unfortunately, due to that part of human nature that wants to be noticed/watched and ‘top’ what has already been done (plus the fact there are people out there who enjoy raunchier/kinkier sexual behaviour), what can be accessed can be anything and everything…and that’s where some kids are ‘learning’ about sex.
And kids are seeing it because, in this technologically savvy time, once one child sees it – they share it. Instantly. That’s the scariest part of all.
I’m sure there are some young people who may read this and think, “It’s OK – it’s not that bad,” but I’m not as convinced.
Mainly because, as ‘aware’ as I am about what’s available now – it’s still brand new territory for me as a parent. I have nothing to relate back to because, as I’ve mentioned before, when I was a child, the only really accessible porn was in magazines. Until the mid-80s, adults had to go to small, dingy XXX movie theatres – after that, it was in the comfort of their own home with the arrival of the video.
But now you can find whatever you want on the Internet because anyone can record anything and at any time – from something as small as their phone.
John Stoltenberg, a male feminist ally from the 70s, is credited with the quote:
“Pornography tells lies about women. But pornography tells the truth about men.”
This is the part that concerns me enormously because surely this would mean our boys/men will look for the level of sexual excitement they see in the porn they watch, in their real-life sexual encounters…and hope to get the hyper-sexualised woman to match.
Question #43: Does porn and images of hyper-sexualised women, affect the healthy, natural development of sexuality in both sexes?
I think it absolutely does…doesn’t it?
Worse still, how are women supposed to live up to all this? The statistic that 100% of boys have watched porn by their mid-teens is staggering. Couple this with the way young girls are dressing now – emulating this culture…it’s an unhealthy mix.
But the thing that young women may not realise, is that many pornographic films have women doing things – that most, real women don’t like.
Whatever the reasons the women being filmed have for doing it, has nothing to do with representing reality…it’s predominantly for pleasing the sexual urges of MEN.
I seriously believe that the percentage of women who TRULY want a sexual encounter with four men – with one penis in her vagina, another in her anus, another in her mouth, while masturbating the last – has to be microscopic. But I have seen an image of this – I didn’t just make that up. That woman is nothing and noone to the men she’s with.
As huge as the battle will be – we must be in our kids’ ears about the value of relationships and the wonderful connection that a sexual relationship can offer – to counteract the toxic nature of porn.
Deep Breath.
x
A small morsel to chew over…
May 6, 2012
Yesterday (Saturday), on the cover of The Sydney Morning Herald was an article about the top 5 things Australian men and women worry about:
MEN:
1. My future career 2. My achievements 3. The future 4. What people thought of me 5. Doing well at work or school.
WOMEN:
1. My future career 2. The future 3. My weight 4. My achievements 5. What people thought of me.
Although both sexes worry about their career first – it’s curious to see the women’s third concern.
It reads: “Worries about weight ranked highly for women only. That was not surprising, given the cultural obsession with the appearance of women, Professor Hudson said. ”But it is really alarming that 60 per cent of women said they worried about appearance at levels that interfered with their quality of life.”
60%!
Are you one of the 60%?
The fact is that men do not have this worry and we really have to ask ourselves WHY?
Question #42: How are we, as women, contributing to this problem?
That weight worry is ‘interfering with their quality of life’ – is a gloomy statistic.
Is there any hope for change in how we see ourselves?
In regards to worrying, there is a quote I always use with my students:
Worrying, is praying for what you don’t want.
Deep Breath.
x
Full article: Whttp://www.smh.com.au/national/top-of-worry-list-work-work-work-20120504-1y47u.html#ixzz1u5WZW03W
Questions for Us 