Here in Australia we have a t-shirt company named Nena & Pasadena.

The t-shirts they sell show degrading images of women – generally with their faces cut out of the image so that their value only lies in their breasts, buttocks and the all-important pose.

Example:

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You get the idea.

A few months ago, this company started an all-ages ’Casting Call’ on Instagram #npcasting – calling out for men and women (boys and girls) to post photos of themselves, to then be judged by a group of privileged lads – deeming them the ‘hottest’.

To the truly tiresome argument that men are objectifying themselves too, I reply with the obvious – it’s not the same. Men have their shirts off, flexing chest muscles. Strength. That’s it. They’re not sexually posing with their legs spread or bending over with their butts in a g-string (thong).

Simply – the males are not vulnerable. And that’s the glaring difference.

There is also the fact that there are far more females posting up their ‘selfies’.
I’m sure you don’t need to go over to the site to verify you’ll see predominantly women and teen girls in hyper-sexualised, or sexy-kitten, or innocent-young-girl-ready-to-be-deflowered etc., looks and poses.

I took the following images off the actual competition page:

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So here is my perspective on this pandemic:

Yes, women are doing it.
But WHY?

This is not empowerment.

And there’s a very simple reason for it – it’s done for validation from a vulnerable position, not one of power. Once someone seeks validation, they are in a submissive position to the person they’re awaiting judgement from.

Period.
And this obviously gives the ‘judge’ ultimate power and places them in a dominant position.

This is not what we want for our girls and we don’t want our sons to see and judge girls and women this way. And yet…

What we also seem to forget – but shouldn’t – is how these girls and women will be spoken about.
It won’t be about their sunny disposition, it will be crass, degrading, demeaning and more – calling them bitches, sluts, whores, gangas (girls who like gang rape; a term used by teens) and so on.

We know that.

Question #190: So, why do we continue to act so blind and ‘unaware’ of the effect this is having on our psyche?

  • That women are being collectively objectified and seen as submissive (by BOTH sexes), in everyday life;
  • That our youth’s perspective on gender is becoming alarmingly skewed and toxic;
  • That there is no equal modelling on what healthy and loving relationships look like.

All of this is for the male gaze – one that’s becoming insatiable.

As a tiny example, this ‘casting call’ is evidence of that.

Why does Nena & Pasadena need to incite this behaviour?
It’s a win/win for them – they get the benefit of seeing to what levels women will go to be validated in this way and get wonderful material for men everywhere (including predators) to masturbate over.

Simple truth.

Sadly the images are posted up by a large contingent of girls and women who have been brainwashed to think their value lies only in the collective sum of their body features; although the differentiation in their ‘hottness’ is miniscule – they all look the same. The fact that women’s faces are absent (like on many N & P t-shirts) just confirms this.

Why doesn’t that annoy women enough to stick two big fingers up at it all?

These t-shirts are just a cog in the machine; the machine that includes porn magazines in newsagencies and petrol stations all the way through to the infinite collection of violent and degrading porn on the Internet.

I recently featured in the article  Too much, too soon –  in the Sydney Morning Herald magazine, Sunday Life. This is a succinct and illuminating piece by Melissa Jacob, about the toxic relationship our kids are having with Internet porn.

This is an emergency.

These women are the supply; Men are the demand.

And we all know that when demand is strong – and supply is waning – extreme measures, like trafficking, are taken to keep the demand happy. That road leads to a desensitised world – one that will stoop to anything, while the rest turn a blind eye.

Are we there yet?

Deep Breath…and make a stand!!

x

PS Want to take action?
1. Nena & Pasadena is owned by AFL player Buddy Franklin (who joined the Sydney Swans in 2014). The AFL has a policy regarding respect for women that this ‘business’ does not comply with. You can write to the AFL or the Sydney Swans and let them know your thoughts – especially from you good males.

2. With some friends and the gals from Collective Shout, we’ve been posting our own memes on the competition page.
Why not do your own? It’s as easy as writing a sign, taking a photo of it and posting it on #npcasting on Instagram.

I put up the following one:

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and this one:

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GO FOR IT!!

How I see Malala.

October 13, 2013

I’m finding my mind swimming – literally swimming – with thoughts and perceptions that I want to articulate in a coherent and succinct manner. But there are so many and sometimes it just doesn’t help that I want to shout and use a shit-load of profanity.

I’m getting so weary and disappointed at our microscopically slow pace of change, that I have this to say:

One important lesson to gain from Malala (not the obvious one).

Yesterday I read an article that had a great impact on me.

Malala Yousafzai and the White Saviour Complex

It says:

This is a story of a native girl being saved by the white man. Flown to the UK, the Western world can feel good about itself as they save the native woman from the savage men of her home nation. It is a historic racist narrative that has been institutionalised. Journalists and politicians were falling over themselves to report and comment on the case. The story of an innocent brown child that was shot by savages for demanding an education and along comes the knight in shining armour to save her.

The actions of the West, the bombings, the occupations the wars all seem justified now, “see, we told you, this is why we intervene to save the natives.”

I agree. It practically looks like a PR stunt and I don’t like that Malala looks like she’s being used as a pawn in this seemingly deceptive agenda.

I also agree that there are A LOT more Malalas out there.

But this is the point where I want to deflect and add something important.

It’s not just that these girls need urgent saving – and they absolutely do – the motivation that has to power the movement of change, is the realisation that:

This world NEEDS girls and women like Malala.

It’s the missing ingredient for things to improve.

Girls and women.

NOT to take over. Equal representation.

If women – according to the Patriarchy – are supposedly the nurturers and carers, then the question shouldn’t be, ‘What have we got to lose?’ (because the only answer is money) but:

Question #187: What have we got to gain?

Simply, I think a great, great deal of good.

When are we going to evolve?
Don’t we want a happy planet for all, instead of this realm of greed, despair, rage and destruction?

I just want to finish by saying, that I think Malala is astonishing. A true hero. An inspiration.

I don’t care in the foggiest that the western world has made a big fuss about her – she absolutely deserves our full attention.
What a wonder she is.

Now let’s WAKE UP and channel that toward educating our children – in schools and at home – by teaching them to be the cogs of change.

Our youth is the answer – with our guidance.

If you’re thinking that you’ll give it a try (which would be awesome) – I would also like to respond with the famous words of Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back:

“Do or do not; there is no try.”

What are you going to do?

Something.

Anything. However small.

We must start to act as a collective.

Deep Breath.

x

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I have to say that this is one of those conundrums for me.

In my quest to continually question the imbalance of our existence – I wanted to explore why we continue to shroud this illusive appendage in such an opposing way to women’s objectification.

I was listening to Triple J the other morning and comedian Wil Anderson was on the radio.
He was discussing the rule with men – that you never look at another man’s penis whilst at the urinal.

OK I get that. It would be an invasion of privacy.

But it just made me wonder – what’s the big hoo-ha about the penis, anyway?
Why all the mystery?

At the beach last summer,  I saw quite a few three-quarter length board shorts being worn – protecting its owners from exposing even the hint of a bulge.

No more speedos anymore. No sir-ee.

Why?

Is it to hide its size?
Or protect boys and men from the gaze of other men?
Is that something that’s feared?

Surely if it were for the gaze of women, there wouldn’t be a problem…right?

I know it’s the fashion at the beach – but you can’t disagree with the juxtaposition; that men seem to be more and more covered, whilst women are more and more exposed.

And not just on the beach.

In the movies – for example – we NEVER see the penis.

Why are men afforded such privacy?

Why are women not?

We have fully naked women on the screens (the big screen as well as the smallest) and yet it doesn’t matter how much time passes – how much we ‘evolve’ – the penis remains mystically cloaked from human gaze.

It must be nice to know – if you’re male and in the movie industry – that you’ll never have to make that choice, whether to have your penis filmed or not.

Ever.

Men are not vulnerable; like women are vulnerable.
And a man’s vulnerability – it seems – is his penis.
A woman’s? Her near or complete nudity.

The second issue I have with the penis, is its massive (no un intended) irony.

As much as it is used and wielded as a weapon throughout the world and is seen as the symbol of manhood – it is also a man’s Achilles Heel, so to speak – is it not?

As Betty White says:

“Why do people say,
‘Grow some balls’?
Balls are weak and sensitive.
If you wanna be tough,
Grow a vagina.
Those things can take a pounding.”

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Is this post an attack on manhood?

No – it is not.

Do I want to see penises plastered all over our screens?

No – but there shouldn’t be a Holier-than-thou style, cover-up either.

A penis is just a penis.

Or is it?

So, I ask again – what’s the big deal?

The Man Box

July 10, 2013

I had a chat with my husband the other night about how I write about men, if men are the focus of that particular post. It came up because I asked him why men seemed hard to get through to – the good ones – because the first reaction is to somehow take it personally.

My husband was saying that I can’t bundle every man into the same box – which I completely agree with. I explained that in my mind, I absolutely don’t – but that it’s hard not to when I’m writing of the problems we face, based on statistics that come with with men’s actions.

How else can it be done?
It’s important to also understand that I hover the magnifying glass over women just as closely – if not more so. Therefore crying misandry is a mute point here.

I know – I really do – that the good men (like my husband) find the act of rape abhorrent, for example, and I also know they would never lay a violent hand on a woman – just as my husband has never laid a hand on me or on our two daughters.
They want the best for the women in their lives.

I’m afraid, though, that it’s no longer enough.
The fight has to spread beyond the walls of our home; as the horrifying outside world encroaches ever so much closer to touching our own lives – especially our girls.

How am I to express to you good males – from my/our perspective (because it counts) – the effect the male gender is having on its partner?

Partner, not enemy.

The Yang to its Yin:

Yin and Yang

‘Yin and yang are in pairs, such as the moon and the sun, female and male, dark and bright, cold and hot, passive and active, etc. But yin and yang are not static or just two separated things. The nature of yinyang lies in interchange and interplay of the two components. The alternation of day and night is such an example.’ *              

Statistically – in the BIG scheme of things – it’s a mean, sad and violent union with females:
* Personally: domestic violence + rape + VAW
* Politically: low % of women represented in government + legislation on women (only) and their bodies and
* Economically: >10% of women in clout positions in all top areas of media, publishing & business + lower pay (77c to a male’s $1).

When you step back and read the above statistics – logically – it doesn’t resonate well.

It’s unfair.
It looks like a bit of a boys’ club.

Don’t the good men feel that women and girls deserve a fairer shake of the stick?

I have often recognised and asked for the assistance of the good men on this blog.
I reach out for advice.

Sadly to deaf ears it seems, as I never actually receive suggestions of what approaches might be taken that may work on the men doing their gender a MASSIVE disservice or on the young boys who are suckling on a teat which teaches them, from an early age, to objectify women and therefore see them as less.

You live in the male realm – I don’t.

* Is it all the fault of males? No.
* Are women to blame for contributing to the imbalance? Of course they are.
You can’t have a porn t-shirt, showing a woman’s objectified body, without the woman’s participation. But we are still, ultimately, comparing apples to oranges.

The following video is a Ted Talk called MAN BOX by Tony Porter.
This is a good man, speaking up about the traits boys are raised on and how that has affected HIM personally. Boys need to see more of this.

So back to you good men.

Question # 174: Do you permit the imbalance to continue, through your silence?

I feel there are good men/bad men; good women/bad women.
I imagine a bell curve where the big, bulging, bell part is full of goodness.
But the voice, the shout, the outrage; predominantly bellows out of women. Men at times agree, of course, but where are the EQUALLY loud male voices and blogs calling out for a transformation to this paradigm?
Careful not to stumble on and trip over all the Facebook pages about sluts…

Using the Nanny State excuse leaves us hopeless because there must be a moment where the line is crossed.

Haven’t we already crossed it?

I thought I’d leave you with this collection of comments left on people’s Twitter accounts about the Female Wimbledon Champion Marion Bartoli.

THIS is hatred.
Many of the comments were left by men with images that suggest they’re in a relationship.

How do we change this, guys?

Deep Breath

x

h79Rd

* chineseculture.about.com

Yes, I had to go again. A friend of mine can’t drive, so I picked her and her daughter up and, together with my girls, we went to see Despicable Me 2. I have to say that I got quite a few giggles from that one.

I told my friend about the pole-dancing ad and we went in to ensure we saw all the advertising from the beginning. I had written to the cinema a few days earlier and wanted to see if some miracle was going to occur and see the ad had been pulled. So again, the curtain was drawn and the screen was blank when we went in.

This time the ad was first up.

As the curtains were opening, there’s all this ‘welcome to the cinema’ fanfare – ensuring everyone is watching. My 6 yr old mentioned her excitement that it was all starting. My 10 yr old said that they were just the ads. Ms 6 replied, “I know, but at least it’s on.” (My kids are obsessed with anything on a screen – regardless of time and place – Aaargh!)…and then BAM! – a woman in stiletto heels, hanging off a pole, is donning the screen. Again.

So it’s not bad enough that they design the fanfare to catch everyone’s attention – they decide to put that particular ad up FIRST? Livid.

A couple (with their two children between them) in the row in front of me looked at each other. I watched with interest, wondering if they were going to communicate to each other the disgust I felt. But the man simply raised his eyebrows at her, smiling – like saying, ‘That looks like a go-er’. She smiled back. Their children, however, were just soaking in those images.
*sigh*

The good news is that the Advertising Standards’ Board has contacted me via letter yesterday and they are taking my complaint to the next meeting. Woooo Hoooo!!

In terms of what we’re seeing at the movies – in my last post I discussed how children are always seeing boy characters fulfil their destinies and dreams.

It’s no different for adults. We only really get immersed in the man’s world.

I took some photos of what’s on offer for us. The first two images came from April when I took similar shots of the predominantly advertised movies.

You get the idea, though…IMG_4967

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From yesterday:

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Question #173: Isn’t anyone else feeling gender fatigue? 

I have been to the movies three times in the last few months. Once in April and twice this week.
In April my husband and I celebrated our anniversary by seeing Jurassic Park in 3D with the girls because my 10 yr old daughter is obsessed with dinosaurs.
The ads for the upcoming movies at the time were, Star Trek 2 (I think there’s only one main-ish female role – the rest are ALL men), Ironman 3 and Superman 72. 

So regardless of age, the movies being made seem to only provide the wonderful world of man as its backdrop, with a peppering of woman here and there.

Am I saying – don’t make these movies?
Anyone who has really followed me knows that that is never what I’m about.

But a more balanced representation of this life – which harbours 51% of women?

YES! Yes to more about us, please.

We are fairly awesome, after all.

Deep Breath

x

 

The Misogyny Factor

June 16, 2013

A few weeks ago, my mum and I went to the Sydney Writers’ Festival to watch Anne Summers speak about her new book, The Misogyny Factor. Anne has worked as a senior bureaucrat and political adviser, and is the former editor-in-chief of the landmark feminist New York based Ms. magazine.

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She was wonderful.

Articulately pointing out logical and factual anomalies in the fabric of our unbalanced existence, in the never-ending search for equality.

Some facts:

  • By simply being female, a woman will earn 1 million dollars less than a male, in her lifetime – 1 million – or the fact that an HSC male (high school graduate) will earn more than a university post-grad female.
  • That the control of a woman’s 1. Financial Independence and 2. Fertility plus the ever-growing 3. Violence against Women, have us in a grand old pickle.

Anne mentioned three words:

Inclusion – Equality – Respect.

These are the words we must ALL aim for – for a better world…for ALL.
We must strive for governments and policies that go about securing us inclusion, equality and respect.

Following are a few of Anne’s perceptions that she wrote in the introduction to her book.
They just resonated with me (well, it all did, really):

  • ‘I nominate the misogyny factor is the obstacle.’ 
  • ‘If misogyny is the theory of women’s inferiority and unworthiness and, therefore, unsuitability to be equal players in our society, sexism is the everyday expression of it.’ 
  • ‘These people believe that, once they are mothers, women just do not belong in the world outside the home. They also tend to have the conviction that all women ought to be mothers and, therefore, confined to the domestic sphere. Such views can be, and are, held by women as well as men.’ 
  • ‘My starting point is the absurdity of a society predicated on a double standard: men can be fulfilled as fathers and as workers, yet we still argue the toss about whether women can ‘have it all’.’

The last point is the crux.
Question #167: Why does this double standard truly exist?

My delay in writing about seeing Anne and listening to her fantastic-ness, was due to the fact that within those two weeks, the news was choc-full of misogyny galore!
And these are just the ones that made the news. The cold and sad reality for many women suffering similar actions go generally ignored or ‘unseen’.

We must start to see…

1.

tyler
We had Collective Shout and many women – from all around the globe – speaking out against rapper Tyler the Creator coming to Australia to perform his sexist, racist, homophobic, hate – with lyrics containing violence against women, such as:

“Rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome,”
“Keep that bitch locked up in my storage, rape her and record it.”

New Zealand didn’t permit him entry into their country, but not only did Australia grant him a Visa, he performed all around Australia in places like the Enmore Theatre in Sydney to all-ages audiences.

???

{A future post will look at how the objection to have Tyler come out here, meant the predominant women who spoke up, received a barrage of threats of rape and violence against themselves and their families, by Tyler’s fans online.}

2.
We had a Liberal Party fundraiser menu – click here – which featured our Prime Minister as a dish, demeaning her down to the features of her body, including her pubic hair.
Our Prime Minister.

3.
PM Julia Gillard was again insulted a few days later when radio ‘journalist’, Howard Sattler, decided to ask personal questions about her partner’s sexuality and pushing for an answer.
He was sacked.
I wrote on the radio station’s FB page:

‘She is our Prime Minister and this dismissal was a good call. 
Like Ms Gillard or not, the job commands our respect.
There would have been justifiable outrage if John Howard were asked about ANYTHING sexual about him or his wife. 
This radio station demonstrated respect for our Prime Minister. Well done.’

4.
Australia’s Army Chief gives a stern warning telling sexist soldiers to get out of the army after:

“Following revelations of further “demeaning, explicit and profane” behaviour by his army members.”

5.
In a moment of go-knows-what, the Socceroos coach, Holger Osieck, whilst being directed to his seat for a press conference, is heard saying:

“You push me around like my wife.”

He then said something in Latin, which he then translated to:

“Women should shut-up in public.” 

These examples all occurred within a two week period – the last four within just one week – two of which were against our female Prime Minister.

Inclusion – Equality – Respect.

I leave you with a question Anne Summers wrote within her introduction:

Question #168: What exactly do we need to do to ensure our society promotes equality and makes it possible for women, as well as men, to live they want?

Deep Breath

x

The language we use #2

June 12, 2013

Just want to say how livid I am about what I saw today.

The following menu is from Mal Brough’s Liberal Party fundraiser:
(for any overseas readers, the Liberal Party is our current government’s opposition)

menu-1

Where Rudd has been called a Goose, Simon Crean isn’t anything harsh at all, but a piece of Tenderloin Steak, where as our Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, has been described as having:

‘Small Breasts, Huge Thighs & a Big Red Box’

I am DISGUSTED.
I find this offensive to women – ALL women – because the men aren’t vilified in the same manner. Period.

Worse still, it happens over and over again – as I pointed out in a previous post: No respect.

Those who claim our Prime Minister has never been treated unjustly due to her sex, can go jump.

Question#166: When will the way we speak about women,  incense all those who read or hear it?

Especially men?

When?

Deep, deep, deep, breath.

x

The language we use.

June 10, 2013

My thoughts on how we speak about women came last year when I read a response Tina Fey wrote to a comment targeting her on the Net.

Before you read her succinct response, let me say that I think Tina is an awesomely, fantastic feminist (teeny crush along with Amy Poehler) using humour to point out the glaringly obvious, like the following:

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I took pure delight in the way Tina composed her rebuttal to an unimpressed fan of her on Saturday Night Live – but I have to admit that the PS left me a tad disappointed:

Dear Internet

 Question #165: Why is it the mother who cops it in the end? 

As much as this world appears to put ‘mother’ on a pedestal – even argue that her prime location is at home, due to her very, very, imperative importance – it leaves me perplexed that mothers are the first to land the insult.

POW!

And it’s everywhere.

In some cases, merely uttering the words, “Your mother…” is enough to send (predominantly men) into a frenzied defence of their poor ma.

On further pondering, I realised something that even I was partaking in.

Not only have I said, Son of a Bitch, countless times – in Uruguay, my country of birth, we use a VERY common phrase – for both sexes:

Son of a Whore, as well as Daughter of a Whore.
 Nice.

Ironically, Tina Fey stated the following – which is bloody fantastic and spot on – and yet she did the exact opposite in her PS sentence:

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Most of us are guilty of incorporating women in our insults – but why?

Why isn’t it son of a…what? Dickhead? Prick? Bastard? Well, the last one is not wholly connected to men.

The fact of the matter is that there aren’t really harsh and hurtful equivalent terms for males, compared to what females are called.
Logical really, seeing as females – especially mothers – are the tyrannous of the world, after all.

I found the following chart (the site I found it on, didn’t cite its origin):

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As much as this is looking at terms relating to being sexually active, many of the negative phrases for women, spill over into day to day insults: slut – whore – bitch…
There are two words missing (actually, I’m sure many more exist) that I hear used often about women:

‘Ganga’ – a girl who likes a gang of men to please have sex with her (aka gang bang).
I’ve heard this ridiculous term said by teens – predominantly girls speaking of fellow girls. A disgrace.

‘C*nt’ – the harshest term to call anyone and a piece of the female anatomy.

Charming.

How comforting it is; to know that our manner of insulting pits all its energy on women and mothers.

Women included. Lots of women.
Including me…but not any more.

Will you join me?

I leave you with the following:

“He actively maintains the power of naming through force and he justifies force through the power of naming. The world is his because he has named everything in it, including her. She uses this language against herself because it cannot be used any other way.”

~ Andrea Dworkin ‘Pornography: Men Possessing Women’

Deep breath.

x

The current number one song in Australia – and I assume world-wide – is Blurred Lines by Thicke.

I am experiencing a mini-form of anxiety over this song – that I need to purge.

Here is my timeline with the song:

1. My sister played me the start of the song on her phone – it had me instantly hooked – I put it on the dock and we turned up the volume. My daughters were with us, so we were all dancing around the kitchen.

2. Then the lines – “I know you want it / I know you want it…but you’re a good giiirl – I know you want it / I know you want it” – started to echo out of the speakers and I thought, “Mmm…not sure about that for the girls.”

3. I saw a comment from a friend on her FB page – with the video embedded – saying that the feminist in her wasn’t sure about the video, but that she loved the song.
The feminist in her?
Torn moment #1: Do I really want to see it? I didn’t want to hate it.
But at that moment I didn’t have time to click on her link.

4. The following week, I saw the video on the telly. Scantily clad girls, with the fully clothed men, watching the girls walk by, leering at them, smacking their lips. Complete objectification. Still loved how the song made me want to dance, though. And dancing fills me with joy.
Yes it does.

5. I went back to my friend’s comment to tell her I agreed with her – but something she responded to me didn’t make sense, so I clicked on the video she had embedded.
In this unrated version – the women are basically naked.
Only a pair of skin-coloured g-strings (thongs) covering up the front pubic area – which in the first shot appears the girl is naked – with no pubic hair. What they are wearing, however, are a white pair of sandshoes.
The photo below is of the female ‘clothed’ version – but all the naked photos are there for the kiddies:

robin-thicke-blurred-lines-video

Look – the perfect man and woman, apparently. Sexy.

Now I am no prude.
I’m quite a fan of the naked female form, actually.
I think it’s stunning – of all shapes. What women’s bodies can do. Simply amazing.
I believe that the naked form – male and female – can communicate a myriad of beautiful messages – but we only see one: The hyper-sexualised woman or girl.

We certainly don’t see the male naked form in terms of saturation and sexual objectification.

I have two enormous problems with this song and video:

1. It’s not with the nudity itself – but the context in which it resides.

These men are fully clothed. As always.

Must we continually be subjected to the same message?
In Nelly’s song, It’s Getting Hot in Herre the chorus says:

Male: “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes”
Female: “I am, getting so hot, I’m gonna take my clothes off.”

The irony – that whilst the women in the video are scantily clad (as the song suggests) some of the men have parkas on – is staggering. And blatant. They’re taking the piss.

Same again with earlier episodes of Big Bang Theory. Leonard would be wearing shirts, long sleeve t-shirts and a jacket – indoors – while Penny would be in a shoe-string, low cut, singlet top and tiny shorts.

And who can forget the visual example of Lana del Rey on the cover of GQ – as the only ‘Woman of the Year’ 2012, amongst the other four ‘Men of the Year’ (including one being pawed by women’s hands):
lana-del-ray

My point?
That the less dressed you are – the more vulnerable you are.

It may be your (a woman’s) choice, but does it make you any less vulnerable to the eye of the beholder?

Again, I can’t believe the irony that I noticed this last summer – that some boys were wearing board shorts that had three-quarter leg lengths.
Gotta make sure the ‘package’ is well and truly hidden and secure…girls on the other hand…

The Blurred Lines video shows only objectification at its purest.

Are the men on the hunt?

It’s for sexual gratification ONLY and it’s sadly so one-dimensional – for both sexes.

The girls’ value is glorified – for the world to see – in only this one way.
They are nothing more than their sexual, perky breasts.
As nice as they are – really?

Is that it for us women? Our ultimate goal?
And to hate ourselves – actually hate ourselves – for not looking like that AND allow men and other women to make us feel bad too?

Question # 164: Do we want our boys and men to see and treat girls and women this way?

Then we have the following lyrics from the song:

One thing I ask of you
Let me be the one you back that ass to
Yo, from Malibu, to Paribu
Yeah, had a bitch, but she ain’t bad as you
So hit me up when you passing through
I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two
Swag on, even when you dress casual…

There’s more, but you get the gist.

Couple the female-only (ever) nudity, with what’s being said, and you have dangerous, hyper-sexualised objectification.
The men are not vulnerable and never are.

My second problem?

2. The Arrogance of the men in the video.

So. Arrogant. (See lyrics above)

I saw a comment left by a woman about this video saying that she thought the guys looked hot and wouldn’t mind being paid to grind up against them. (Naked…to fully clothed men…)

I would respond to this woman with, “AND DON’T THEY KNOW IT!”
They know they’re top dogs and they know women will perform naked for them.
Thicke, in particular, is an attractive man (no argument) but he has balloons in the shape of letters which spell out,

‘Robin Thicke has a big dick.’
Arrogant. {Yeah, I’d fuck you, bitch.}

So here I am – liking a song I loathe at the same time – feeling completely gypped that artists who want to tap into a sexual theme, have to continue with this degrading view of women.

And that women comply – whether appearing in the video or wanting to be her.

*sigh*

Still…I really like the beat of that song.

Deep Breath.

x


I have never been more moved by a piece of footage.

Patrick Stewart – who played Captain Jean Luc Picard in the Star Trek, The Next Generation series – is a man whose answer to a question from an audience member of Trekkie fans, has left me in complete awe.

What an absolute legend. So articulate and succinct.

Whether man or woman – watch this – because he speaks to us all.

A beautiful and intimate message, full of action and promise – and balance.

See it to the very last frame.

Question #163: Is it possible to think we could reach this sort of understanding and action us toward change?

I really, REALLY hope so.

Deep Breath.

x
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