And then there’s this.
November 20, 2012
*Warning*
The following article contains information that some may find upsetting.
It has upset me quite deeply.
Female Circumcision in Indonesia
I have no words.
I have no question.
Our humanity seems to be disappearing…
ebbing away…
until we’re numb.
And you know what? If you say, “Well, that’s the way it’s always been” my response would be,
“So what!What do we think about it today??”
Doesn’t this bother anyone else?
If it does, then why is this sort of thing – as well as the countless, upon endless other kinds of atrocities – still HAPPENING?
There must be way to stop this.
Deep Breath
._.
It’s a girl! #2
November 15, 2012
In a part of my discussion about the ‘Femicide’ of girls in India and China, I referred to the core of its motivation being about greed – especially in terms of the dowry system in India.
Some of the people who commented in response to the post, weren’t so sure about greed being the primary drive – but I’d like to explain my understanding of it:
If an entire nation feels that their current system of female slaughter is acceptable because of the issue of a dowry – then money is the goal.
I think that at this point greed is the predominant factor because sons are revered for what they can ‘bring in’.
Women and girls, on the other hand, are treated like a commodity.
They are always owned.
You may feel that the term ‘greed’ is incorrect (maybe it is) – but I can’t get past the fact that the essence of it is money driven…and all because of the septic tradition of paying someone to take your daughter.
Worse still the amount of violence and ‘dowry deaths’ bestowed upon these poor, poor women – that comes from the parents not paying enough dowry – is again driven by money. Torture, starvation, beatings, forcing acid down women’s throats…
It makes me feel sick.
The following article A Report On The State Of India’s Girls has more devastating statistics like:
* Hundreds of girls born in India are given names like ‘Unwanted’ and ‘Undesired’ by their parents.
* 90% of abandoned children in India are girls.
* 25 million girls in India are married off before the age of 10.
* 53.22% of children in India have experienced some sexual abuse; 22% of them extreme forms of sexual violence.
* Up to 5 years of age, girls in India have a 40% higher mortality rate than boys the same age.
Towards the end of the documentary, a very eloquent Indian woman was explaining how ludicrous it was, that while women like herself try to engage in a dialogue with people who continue these disgusting practices, they end up finding themselves discussing women as if they’re the latest conservation plight – like ‘Save the Pandas’ – except women aren’t an animal – they are fellow human beings.
Question #112: Can we all stand and use a collective humanitarian voice to help these women and girls?
YES!
Sign this petition to stop Female Genocide in India:
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/stop-female-genocide-in-india/sign.html
At least it’s something.
Deep, deep breath.
x
It’s a girl!
November 15, 2012
On Monday night I joined some of the amazing ladies from Collective Shout (amongst other awesome people) to watch a documentary called, it’s a girl.
As the documentary stated, in our society those three words generally bring joy and elation – a healthy baby of either gender is a miracle and a gift. But this is most certainly not the case with unimaginable numbers of baby girls born in countries such as India and China.
These two countries were the focus of this completely disheartening look at the doomed and cursed life of being born female.
The movie kept using the term ‘Gendercide’ – but Melinda Tankard Reist, who said a few words before the screening, felt that the term ‘Femicide’ is more accurate. After all, the male gender is not at risk. At all.
The documentary first looked at India where we learn of one mother who, in her effort to bear a son, murdered eight of the baby girls she bore. Eight.
Why? Because when a girl is born, she only signifies a loss of money. Although dowries are not permitted it is still a very common practice. It is an entrenched custom, from the lowest classes to the elite.
A son = money that will come in from their daughter-in-law’s dowry.
A daughter = money lost to pay the dowry.
Greed. That is simply what it’s all about.
That realisation had a profound impact on me because in the back of my mind, I always saw greed as predominantly haunting the halls of the Capitalist realm.
But no. It’s everywhere. This chilling realisation also brought me to understand one simple truth – the main commodity used in making more money – are girls and women. Regardless of age. Regardless of location.
So if a baby girl is ‘lucky’ enough not be snuffed out at birth, she has a life of continual fear and struggle to contend with. Many face a life of neglect – no food or medical attention is afforded to them, as it’s always given to the boy. And of course, the ever-present fear of violence – such as being doused in petrol and set alight because the dowry wasn’t sufficient, for example.
After all, it’s HER fault.
‘Dowry deaths’ are illegal but justice is rarely served. Big surprise.
Then there’s China.
Their One Child Policy has created a situation that’s devastated its people. If you’re from the city, it’s only one child for you and if you’re from the country, a second child is permitted…if you’re first one was a girl.
Forced abortions are common place by the Family Planning Department. Back in June I posted Chinese abortion – which recounts the harrowing forced abortion, performed on a woman who was seven months’ pregnant.
Statistic – there are an estimated 35,000 abortions a day / 1,500 an hour. There are also approx. 500 suicide attempts by women in China a day.
That’s a lot of misery for the female gender.
Because so many girls have been ‘disposed of’ there are now 37 million MORE men than women in China. The similar, deeply rooted belief that the Chinese share with India, is that everybody wants a daughter-in-law…just no daughters.
These men, who are aimlessly dragging their feet through life without a wife, are called ‘bare branches’ – but hey, that’s just not on! Measures need to be taken to find him a wife.
How? Why not kidnap someone else’s young daughter and raise her yourself? Then she’ll be nice and ready to wed your son when they’re both a little older.
Sounds like a great plan!
Ooh, ooh! What about the men who just want to have fun? Well, how about kidnapping more young girls – really little ones too – and sell them as sex slaves? A fortune could be made! Excellent notion. Top notch.
Statistic – 70,000 girls a year are trafficked.
On my drive home I was inundated with so many conflicting emotions. Predominantly it was helplessness. I met a wonderful couple at the screening, Liz and Michael Newton-Brown, a married couple who started their own group called, The Freedom Project – Ending human trafficking and slavery – and I asked them, “What can be done? It seems hopeless.”
It’s absurd. It’s madness. What has the human race succumbed to?
What the hell is going on???
If it’s not a hatred towards women and girls, what is it?
When I got home I asked my husband rhetorically, why does ‘man’ look down on ‘woman’ so much?
I mean:
Question #111: Why aren’t we a team?
How wonderful it would be if we were. Truly were.
We wouldn’t recognise this place.
Thank goodness for all the driven, dedicated and inspiring people, like the ones mentioned above, who are tirelessly trying to raise awareness. There’s hope.
Deeep Breath
x
Go and put the kettle on…
November 10, 2012
Are you comfortable?
Because it’s time to have a chat – especially with the Aussie parents out there – about a magazine that’s tapping into the seedy and degrading underbelly of our boys and men’s minds and it’s using a firm and taloned grip.
I should warn you that there are images, with text, in this post that may offend some readers (I was offended…putting it mildly) and if they don’t – I encourage you to step away from your personal perspective and think of the fact that the rest of us (including {and especially} kids, whose minds are absorbing like sponges) can’t avoid them.
They’re everywhere. Shaping.
This Australian magazine’s simple existence, (along with its horrible brethren versions around the planet) – and the manner in which it has evolved and spread over the years – leaves me gobsmacked.
Well, no, I suppose it doesn’t. Once you dangle the proverbial carrot in front of a weak society, anything goes nowadays. Point in case? This magazine.
What does perplex me, however, is the desensitised indifference that society as a whole seems to have towards magazines like this.
Or is it that most people – especially parents – simply don’t know the dangerous and misogynistic reach these types of magazines have?
This magazine is cheap – only a few dollars – with no age restrictions for purchase at your local newsagency and it predominantly exploits women.
Finally, it calls itself Zoo. Are we animals?
In a recent post, Melinda Tankard Reist discusses Zoo Magazine and says:
28000 – That’s the number of boys aged 14-17 estimated to read Zoo magazine each week. Despite its pornographic nature Zoo magazine is classified as ‘men’s lifestyle’ and therefore unrestricted – anyone can buy it. Zoo is conveniently positioned and priced for young readers to purchase in convenience stores, service stations and Coles and Woolworths.
It also states that:
“More Australian men buy and read ZOO than any other magazine in the country – that’s a fact.” – ACP Magazines, Zoo Magazine distributor
28000 a week – of teen boys.
Any alarm bells set off yet?
Many years ago, I had my first experience with Zoo – around the time of its inception in 2007. A copy was confiscated from a 12 year old boy at school. I looked through it and was a little stunned – for so many reasons. Amongst its variety of ‘sections’ (including a baby-seal clubbing article with pictures), the standouts in this particular issue were:
1. A multi-paged ‘article’ with photography of raunchy video-clip stills – predominantly breasts and women bending over, mouths open in erotic ecstasy etc.
2. A section where regular, everyday girls (mostly teens) have sent a ‘selfie’ of themselves in underwear or bikini in ‘sexy’ poses, to be ranked by the readers.
3. An advice section, where it’s two women answering the queries in each issue and are photographed with only underpants on, topless but turned to the side.
A 12 year old had it.
So now I’m going to ask you to have a look at Zoo Magazine’s Home Page.
How are those alarm bells going now?
Now envisage the amount of young boys going to this site.
This is the downside of the Internet, I suppose – furthered by the unyielding force that is Facebook.
Zoo Magazine has a Facebook page.
{Of course it does; it’s good business, right? And that’s what’s ultimately respected, after all – making money}
This is the place where parents can see the ease of infiltration, as well as the predatory domination that is occurring. Remember that legally, a person needs to be 13 years old to open an account on Facebook – but we all know parents who open up accounts for their children, as young as their first years of Primary School.
Recently, Zoo put up the following post (question) for its readers on its Facebook page:
“Left or right? But you’ve got to tell us how you came to that decision.”
For those who can’t read the print, the first comment that appears in this image says: “Left…You have the mouth and the tits to fuck.”
Here are some more responses:
Women being discussed as ‘holes’, ‘it’ or the lovely, ‘either end there’s shit coming out’.
Misogyny. Pure misogyny.
And this platform sees them all clapping each other on the back and giving each other high-fives. Aaahh, the Brotherhood is certainly strong in these circles.
It’s grooming our boys and they’re multiplying. How can they not be?
If the way boys and men think about women is ever-changing for the worse (as evidenced by magazines like Zoo, the post above, Facebook pages on 12 year old sluts etc) then:
Question #110: Are we happy to stand back and let these businesses sabotage our youth by only perpetuating sex as disconnected, dirty and now violently dominating?
Some boys will never know the joy of what a loving relationship entails – where a woman’s wants are equal to his. How sad, but it won’t be entirely their fault because Internet porn and businesses like Zoo Magazine, taught them differently.
And learn they do; they’re KIDS.
I can see older men shaking their head as they’re reading this, thinking how you grew up with ‘Playboys stashed underneath your bed’ and that you turned out ‘alright’. Well, your experience and attitude is a cog (and continues to be) in the terrible state of affairs today.
The comments above are hateful. Nothing good comes from hate.
One may have entertained thoughts or ‘jokes’ similar to the ones posted on the Facebook page above but I probably would have never known; now it’s posted online and it’s permanent. Then it feeds, thanks to the unprecedented way sites like Facebook spread information.
Spreading hate.
How can that NOT be damaging our kids?
A task: Want to take some action? You can join us and let the battle begin against the visible stocking of lads’ mags like ZOO.
Next time you fill up at the petrol station or shop at Woolies or Coles, have a look and see where these sorts of magazines are positioned.
Knowing the damage it can do, just from its sexist cover – should it be there?
A friend confronted a petrol station owner who had all these types of magazines above the lollies that kids make a beeline for.
After that, it’s simple. If they listen and change, continue giving them your business. If not, take your business elsewhere and tell them why you’re doing so.
Remember that money talks. It’s the only way.
Deep Breath and go get ‘em!
A nice one for the girls.
November 10, 2012
Just a quick post – as I’m watching the movie In Her Shoes on the telly.
What a delight. I’ve been enjoying it so much.
It has it’s touches of ‘Hollywood’ – yes – but the main protagonists are all women and we see all their flaws – their different shapes and looks – as well as their gifts.
It looks at the sisterhood…the good, the bad and the ugly.
And there’s beauty in their flaws.
Toni Collette is always her amazing self – a.mazing – and Cameron Diaz is fantastic; she was great in this role. There’s also Shirley Maclaine…and last, but not least, a divine collection of gorgeous shoes!
It’s like you can kind of relate to every female character, in some tiny way (or in many) – whether as a part of you or as a part of the women around you.
Complex women. Like us.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this movie with you – one that (I thought) portrayed a more truthful representation of a cross-section of women. This seems to be a lacking element of the movies nowadays.
Watch it one day – and please be sure to visit me again and tell me what you thought of it.
We need more movies like this.
Nigh Night.
Buy a gift and support Collective Shout: 24 hours only!
November 7, 2012
Please support Collective Shout; this wonderful group who are doing SO much in the fight against the sexploitation of girls and women.
They need our support.
This is a great way to get some Chrissy gifts and in turn help this important non-profit movement. Starts midnight for only 24 hours.
Click on the link below and put your money to good use.
x
via Buy a gift and support Collective Shout: 24 hours only!.
On a positive note…
November 7, 2012
Recently, I posted this image of Malala Yousafzai on my Questions for Women Facebook page, celebrating her magnificence. Indulge me, if you will, to revisit this extraordinary girl – and pose a quick question.
This magazine cover shows a radiant, awe-inspiring and heroic girl. A girl who has already made a tremendous global impact – evidenced by the vigils that were held worldwide, praying for her recovery. A girl who made the cover of Newsweek…
…and it has NOTHING to do with the way she looks. Nothing.
Fantastic.
Her qualities as a person – that’s what has been recognised and revered.
Not the size of her breasts, what outfit she was wearing or whether she’s ‘hot’ – unlike most of the magazine covers, sporting images of women, that we see today.
Question #109: Don’t we want our daughters’ developing brains to subliminally see more covers like this?
Instead of this?
In my next post, we’re going to have to get comfy, with a cup of tea and a Tim Tam – and have a serious ‘chat’ about Zoo Magazine.
As parents, there’s little we can do about the reach and saturation of porn on the Internet (except put blocks on the computer to protect our children).
But why bother? – when young boys can just walk into a Newsagency and purchase Zoo Magazine without their parents’ knowledge.
We can do something about a magazine like this – a magazine that is being alarmingly consumed by young boys and men, like addicts on crack.
It’s cheap, easily available and misogynistic.
Deep Breath
x
Phrases put in my search engine.
November 3, 2012
And this was just yesterday…in one, 24 hr period:
What’s with all the 12 year old sluts
12 yr old sluts
12 year old sluts
12 yr old slut
12 year olds memes
I kid you not.
No…the saturation of porn – and the fact that the palate of the customer is yearning for younger and younger delights – is having NO effect whatsoever, on our world.
It’s not producing any weird, itchy, ill-feeling – like we’re crossing a terrifying line into uncharted and dangerous waters.
On the contrary! Boys and men are engaging in healthy, respectful and consenting sexual relationships; whilst girls and women are being left alone – by not being trafficked, raped, degraded and violently abused – on one hand, and are not participating in their own exploitation, on the other.
This is good. The search engine phrases above are a sign of a healthy paradigm.
How fabulous that we live in a world which permits such appetites for young girls to be made available – at whatever cost.
However, there’s one infinitesimal positive point in all this (there always is) – and that is the warm, fuzzy feeling I feel inside, when I relish the look I imagine those guys have on their faces, when their search for 12 year old sluts leads them…
…to my blog.
One teeny, tiny blip in their way.
That makes me feel good.
Imagine if I stopped one guy from continuing his search…
Question #107: Do you think I did?
If you think that this is an impossibility, then you – and in turn we – are living a hopeless existence, admitting everything is beyond our control…and we are in some deep shit.
Deep Breath.
x
PS There’s a Facebook page that has the word ‘slut’ in its title (I won’t honour it with its full name), that was started 4 days ago on the 29th October. It only posted for 2 days – the 29th and the 30th – at it already has 307 ‘likes‘.
Yes…everything’s juuust fine.
Response. Now I’m fired up.
October 28, 2012
For those who read my last post will know that it was emotional.
No apologies here.
But as a response to a comment that was left, I wrote the following:
(maybe it will resonate with you more – same message – just more fired up)
Well, that’s a lovely way you chose to end your message. I’m sure you felt I deserved that somehow?
Don’t like reading emotional posts?
My feeling of despondency doesn’t need to be mocked by you and I don’t apologise for it.
I’m feeling a bit better now, thanks to your response. Just the ticket.
It’s clear you interpreted many things differently to how I expressed them.The image is a bit cryptic. I want people to stand up because it’s the right thing to do, not seek attention. Maybe it was TOO cryptic – but hey, I’m writing for me and anyone else who is like-minded and gets what I’m saying. So although it’s not what I meant, I agree with you, yes, change will be televised.
The image you painted of ‘ambitionistas’ is a cliché. It IS as you describe – no argument – because society is conditioned to think ‘that’s the way it is’ and then, in turn, perpetuates the cliché. So yes, I agree, the stereotype of the ‘how-to-make-it-as-a-woman-at-the-top’ manual you just read from (written by a man) is spot. on.
Yes, there are women at the top in business – 3% of them.
I know the Achilles Heel of the ‘power group’ – I’ve been writing about it over and over again. There’s no need to patronise me.
Now let me explain, succinctly, the whole point of this last post.It’s to ask why we’re standing idly by and letting the shit state of things STAY THE SAME – if not worsen.
That’s it.
So thank you SO much for stating the way things are. I’m aware of them – communicated through every post – and that’s why I’ve moved just a little bit further along and started to speak up – in the hope of waking people up into ACTION with a simple raising of their voice – ESPECIALLY women.Until women say enough, it ain’t changing. Hence the name of my blog.
We are emotional creatures which is just as valuable and needed in our world. So I WAS despondent – but you have just lit a fire in my belly.
PS Do you even understand the lyrics of Hey Jude? The first verse you put in, is saying don’t hold it in – a fool for bottling it up and playing it cool. I’m not carrying the world on my shoulders, nor am I playing it cool. ???
The movement is on my shoulders? Yes, and I’m acting. Starting with me. I’ll do.
Hope MANY will join me…but there won’t be any cameras.
Get it?
Deep Breath.
I’m feeling despondent.
October 28, 2012
Again, it seems I’ve hit another moment where it all feels a smidge overwhelming.
I’m a bit low about it all.
I keep seeing – hearing – absorbing – feeling – more and more examples of horrible behaviour, greedy behaviour, hateful behaviour…
…and I just don’t understand.
I don’t understand why intelligent men and women sit back with a desensitised indifference or, worse still, defend certain elements of our society – making us tip out of balance. I feel like we’re sitting on the side of the balance that’s just started its descent…and it’s going to reach the bottom at an accelerated and unstoppable pace…
Or have we reached that ‘point of no return’ already?
I’d like to think not. I’d LOVE to think not. But am I being naive to think we can put on the brakes?
Because I’m starting to doubt that it’s possible because there seems to be a lot who defend the need for cesspools in different pockets of our existence.
It’s depressing to entertain this thought. It is.
For me, this is the crux of it:
The world is going down a slippery chute – because of money and power.
And it doesn’t matter how you look at it – proven statistically – whatever the culture around the globe, whatever the economic status…
…the true victims of any society, are women.
And the ones who wield the power and dominate, are men.
Not ALL men – but most of those who are in positions of power, are – however they came to be there. They’re the ones ruling this planet. Fact.
But I’m wondering, if there are so many of you out there – and I know in my heart you are out there (regardless of gender) – who feel like a lot of the things being brought to light are wrong:
Question #105: Where are you?
I see women like Melinda Tankard Reist and the phenomenal team at Collective Shout, who are doing wonderful, extraordinary work. They have won so many battles against things that seem inconceivable, to have been allowed to be put in our society in the first place. Inconceivable. They have little money and are flying by the skin of their teeth. But they keep going because it simply has to be done.
Where’s the equivalent loud male voice – a face – who also thinks things are very, very wrong?
Where are the voices of ALL of us, regardless of gender?
In a previous post Feeling a bit ineffectual I listed how women are the victims of this world.
Women are raped by the thousands in places like Africa – used as a weapon of war – DAILY. Women infected with diseases from it.
Women / baby girls around the planet – who are raped, molested, sexually assaulted, trafficked – DAILY
Countless countries forbidding girls from being educated. Shooting a targeted girl, point blank, in the head for wanting one. These are the countries that like war. They have their women – who could stop them if they were in decision-making positions along side them – submissively kept at home.
The poverty, the pain…
And here? In the capitalist world? Here we only reward one thing;
Making money – at whatever cost.
Most of us do it the right and honourable way – with our ethics and morals intact – but the thing I don’t understand is why we actually stand back and let the soulless monster loose in big business – to OUR detriment. OURS.
We are creating a MINDLESS culture by allowing men – yes men – the ones in power who hold 97% of clout positions in Advertising, Publishing, Tele-communications and Entertainment – to feed on all our weakest and most vulnerable points..to make money. To make a LIVING.
With their fellow men it’s done through sex and with women it’s done through vanity.
Except for the men it’s a dominant weakness and for women it’s a submissive one.
Men are happy with their vice – by indulging in the world of hyper-sexuality and porn…but women never are! Which woman actually believes they’re beautiful enough? Good enough?
What the hell’s THAT about ladies? Seriously!
We’re allowing companies to target and condition our youth to become MINDLESS.
Our silence and indifference gives them permission.
WHY are we doing this? Because it’s good business? The more we say that, the more we pave the way for another to push the ethical frontiers. I’m beginning to wonder if there are any left.
Seems like a free-for-all.
The infuriating part is that we could ALL sell-out and make a quid the fast way.
We ALL have the capacity to steal. We ALL have the capacity to cheat. We can be unkind, selfish, greedy, hateful – but for the majority of people – we’re decent.
Question #106: So, why are we letting the men in power dictate how they will feed off ALL of us – men, women and children – in this detrimental way?
All’s fair in love, war…and capitalism, it seems.
I wonder, with a heavy heart, if the line above does encompass the general attitude amongst the masses…
Again, I hope not.
This is a worthy cause, isn’t it?
Deep Breath.
Pass it on. Speak up. Anything to help create change.
Questions for Us 
