An important question for men and women. Equally.
July 9, 2012
I have a two-parter today. Women need to see this – but I really need to get some thoughts from the guys’ end of the fence. Unfortunately, what I’d really like, is to hear some young men’s perspectives, but I doubt they read this blog – so, seeing as you older lads know what’s going on inside a male’s mind, I’d love your opinion AND input as to how we can change things around.
Firstly there is a short going around, similar to Miss Representation, but instead looking at how the sexualisation of the current culture, is developing our future men:
There’s a question in the piece that asks:
“So where do guys get the idea that women are play things, eye candy and sexual objects for our enjoyment?”
As the question is being asked, a scene from a movie is shown, where a stream of attractive women walk in – dressed in lingerie – who then all bend over in front of a male who’s stunned, while the other, Adam Sandler, directs the girls to do it.
So degrading. As a woman, it’s hard to watch.
“The answer is, quite honestly, everywhere.” – they say.
True. It is. It’s at saturation point.
BUT!..and this is where I repeat that I’m not anti-male – you can’t have a stream of women bending over…WITHOUT WOMEN. Without their consent.
So, if our girls are lining up to pander to this heterosexual male fantasy (porn) behaviour and look:
Question #69: What are we, as a society, doing to instigate this?
Can it be changed? Pulled back a notch? Can we (you) stand up and do something to help gain some control of this spiralling problem?
OK – Part two.
A 20-something year old guy started a ‘bed of shame’ idea on Twitter, getting guys to take photos of themselves next to the woman they’ve spent the night with. Click here for article. It was so popular over the weekend – inundated with photos – that he’s doing it again. Filth.
Question #70: What do men think about the accessibility and ease guys have, to be able to do this to women?
I know what I think about all of this – and I’m sure you have a sense of what I think too…but what do YOU think? About any of it.
Is there a solution?
Leaving it with you.
Deep Breath.
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Truck Stop.
June 13, 2012
I took my Year 10 Drama students to the theatre today and saw a play that was simply fantastic – captivating…
…and terrifying to watch, all at once!
It’s called Truck Stop.
The play was written based on true events – about a few 14 yr old girls who would sneak out of school at lunch time, hang out at a truck stop and prostitute themselves. The bulk of the play, however, looks at how these young girls reach a point like that in their lives – looking at their social circumstances, coupled with current, cultural pressures. So it’s practically at the end of the play, where we finally see them arrive at that unavoidable end result.
It was hypnotic – like watching a car crash about to happen…except you can’t turn away.
Why am I writing about this? Because how the girls talked, what they did, how they felt, the songs they listened to, all of it – was holding a mirror to what a lot of girls today are living. Breathing.
I found myself actually fighting back strong emotions as I watched, wondering how girls today navigate through such a barrage of feelings, sometimes rendering them impotent to fight against doing ‘whatever it takes’ to attain the one thing they truly want;
To have someone.
That’s the crust of it and has been since the birth of time. We all want someone.
But girls today are bombarded with such powerful emotions – urging them to stand out or be left behind – that (some) succumb to the pressure of what ‘today’ tells them is acceptable and they find themselves making choices that do nothing for them. Time and time again, it seems like the only ‘winner’ is the guy.
This production did a superior job – not just showing the main ‘easy’ girl and her best friend, but also the new innocent Indian student, who joins those girls and is quickly ‘corrupted’ to their ways…until she’s on the outer again. Nothing surprising really, but ladened in pace and emotion. Whenever these girls discussed any activity, whether it be naughty or plain bland, they likened it to a movie or video clip. So incredible how much they seemed to live their lives through fantasy – after all, it’s all that’s splashed in front of them…
Fantasy.
Question #57: How can we help our girls get through these pressures; that we simply didn’t have growing up?
Now before you all start jumping up and down saying that we did, what I mean is that we didn’t have the reach of imagery, that this photo-shopped, Internet saturated world has today – we certainly didn’t have the ‘instructional’ music videos of the current pop culture, for example. Of course there were times when I felt like boys wouldn’t like me – but there wasn’t a look or behaviour I had to conform to…and in hindsight, I have to say that it overwhelms me with a sense of relief.
Today is a vastly different story, however, and I feel (at times) disheartened for our girls.
This play doesn’t provide any solutions, but it had a great impact on every one of my students – for many different reasons.
If you’re in Sydney, it’s on at The Seymour Centre until June 23. They may tour, so keep an eye out. It’s worth the watch.
Deep Breath.
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Promotional image from Truck Stop.
This is Freedom from Porn Culture‘s post about what happened at the LFL Sydney game last night.
All logic points to this ‘sport’ being shite – simply because of its uniform. That is all.
For those of you who didn’t get an insiders look at the LFL Promo match at Sydney last night, you missed the cause of equality for female athletes being set back, here are the updates…
Grey team player loses her pants, the mostly male crowd goes wild, they replay it ‘close up’ on the big screen and the crowd cheers. Pink team makes a touchdown, player celebrates by slapping her thighs and making hand gesture of a vagina. An athlete in the crowd says “I’m a sports person and I find this so offensive.” LFL players dance for the men, the men go wild, not unlike a strip club (sounds like strip club sport, looks like strip club sport, equals strip club sport). Three male spectators are invited on the field to chase and tackle one of the LFL players (Melinda Tankard Reist – “in no other sport would crowd be…
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What about the white elephant in the room?
May 25, 2012
The creator of the LFL, Mitchell Mortaza, has issued an official statement in direct response to Australia’s Federal Minister for Sport, Kate Lundy.
I am utterly perplexed because what we’re saying is simple. Either the men involved don’t get it or they just want to have things their way. I think they get it.
In the statement, the only issue Mortaza discusses about the LFL, in its defence, is the actual sport itself. I don’t think there’s a single woman out there who wouldn’t applaud any female athlete, who challenges and extends her physical boundaries.
But what about the white elephant in the room? The fact that the women are playing a tough, injury ridden game in. their. frilly. underwear! …with garter belts, bow ties and accidental nudity to boot!
Question #47: If it truly is all about the sport, why do the women have to play in unprotective, sexually provocative underwear?
THAT’s the problem. It’s sexism…and it’s exploitation. As a response to a comment left after my last post, I wrote:
This is what was written about one of the US players of the LFL:
Tampa Breeze Florida player Liz Gorman told CBC Radio earlier this year what it is like to wear uniforms designed for maximum flesh exposure: “Oh. Well … well, honestly … I don’t like it. I’d rather wear full clothing. Because when you fall, it literally rips your skin. I’d love more clothing, but at the same time like any sport, the players don’t get to choose the uniform.”
Well, she doesn’t sound like she loves it but if she says no, she’ll probably lose her job. Do you know what it reminds me of? When I worked in Uruguay and the people there had terrible workers’ rights – and if you didn’t like your situation? Well, there’s a queue of people willing and waiting to take your spot. It’s exploitation.
On the Collective Shout FB page, they wrote:
“Have just been listening to some interviews with ex LFL players. All the same story, they say they paid health insurance with the LFL, endured a serious injury and the LFL refused to pay. One woman is thousands in debt because of medical expenses.”
Wow, sounds like a dream job! The fact that all these revelations are coming out means that these women are (or will eventually) be exploited. Bottom line.
Therefore, it’s wrong and we should fight against it coming here.
According to Mortaza, the Australian fan base brought them out. Surely there’s more of us who are against it…surely…
Does anyone else like Mortaza’s suit? Nicely covered, isn’t he? One woman wrote the following on Collective Shout’s FB page:
“People with power are clothed. People without power, unclothed. Simple”
I’ll leave you ladies with something to mull over. On the issue of gender clothing coverage, have you noticed how guys’ boardshorts are getting longer? I’ve seen lengths that are mid-calf. MID-CALF! That’s a lot of coverage. What are they trying to hide? They used to wear actual shorts 25 years ago…actually guys and girls had similar lengths.
So, why don’t they wear Speedos?
What? They don’t want to show the world their ‘penis bump?’ Feel a little too exposed?
Women, on the other hand…
Deep Breath…and don’t forget to vote against this on Change.org!
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With power comes great responsibility.
May 24, 2012
It feels like we’re entering (if not already entered) a paradigm where power is highly sought after – but the ‘responsibility’ that comes with that power, is being neglected.
This issue of the Lingerie Football League (LFL) is getting me quite fired up. I’ve been having a small ‘discussion’ with a man on my Questions for Women Facebook page. My last comment to him is at the end of this post.
His perception, like maaaany, is that we need to take a ‘chill pill’ about the whole thing.
I must admit that my first response to him had some bite because, like many comments I’ve read before, men compare something like the LFL to the uniforms worn by Beach Volleyball players (for example).
They see the difference and that alarms me deeply.
That one is a uniform adequate for the sport and the other is lingerie with garter belts?…and ‘accidental nudity?’ According to an article written by Melinda Tankard Reist:
“Players have to sign contracts agreeing to “accidental nudity”. There’s nothing accidental about it: flesh exposure is virtually guaranteed. The contract states: ” … Performances hereunder may involve accidental nudity. Player knowingly and voluntarily agrees to provide player’s service … and has no objection to providing services involving player’s accidental nudity.”
If they wear any additional items of clothing under the lingerie they will be fined $500. Apart from All Star matches, they are not paid. And they are at serious risk of injury. In fact, the league brags about all the injuries suffered by female players.
It is a mix of voyeurism and violence.”
Now – the most important point or argument put forward:
“But they’re doing it of their own free will.”
Are they? Really?
Well, yes, literally they are – but is the decision an educated one? If you think of the quote, “You can’t be what you can’s see” (Miss Representation), these women are products of what they’ve seen around them, as they’ve grown and developed, and now they’re simply making the image grow, as it tragically becomes ‘fashion’ or worse, the norm. It’s a growing emergency because the more girls and young women are ‘fed’ this image, the more they feel the necessity to join up…
…and don’t the guys just love that they do.
After all, human beings have that uncanny knack for doing things that may not be the best for them – especially it feels good. Right?
And this is where I need to state – quite emphatically – that I don’t begrudge people of their desires. But I need to ask:
Question #46: Where do we draw the line? Where’s the responsibility to our youth?
I believe these young women DO need our help – make it our responsibility, seeing as the men in power are only looking out for themselves – because these women haven’t had much else to model themselves on. They’re insecure of their worth and need validation. They’re told by men that they’re ‘hot’ – paid nothing (in most cases) – and are ultimately exploited.
I continue to be completely (and sadly) gobsmacked that this LFL was permitted to come to Australia. The presentation game is in Sydney in two and a half weeks, so please make sure you vote against this on Change.org:
I think there may even be two different petitions going. Sign them all!
Deep Breath everyone!
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![US_SOCIE(32)[1]](https://questionsforus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/us_socie321.jpg)
Facebook comment:
This ‘sport’ only exists to exploit women to service men’s desires.
This is a great post about The Lingerie Football League coming to Australia. Not only is this as sexist as it gets – they are enticing families to take the kiddies along. We must all stand up and say “NO” to this.
Deep Breath
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Today’s Herald Sun featured an article by Australian women’s activist and www.collectiveshout.org co-founder Melinda Tankard Reist, reiterating all the reasons we should not let Lingerie Football League (LFL) come to Australia.
WHEN a man plays gridiron – or American football – he is dressed for maximum protection to ensure safety in a game known for its raw physicality. His body is covered, with little exposed flesh, to minimise injury.
It’s not the kind of game a man would consider playing in his underwear. That would just be dumb, right? But it seems rules are different if you are a woman playing for the Lingerie Football League (LFL). The less clothing the better. In fact, it’s a requirement of the game.
LFL is blatant sexualisation and sexism, while promoting violence towards near naked, physically unprotected women, with outrageous clauses for maximum boob and bum exposure with little or no pay and the whole…
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Just sayin’ – #2
May 10, 2012
It’s Mothers’ Day this Sunday and I saw a lingerie catalogue for mums…using very young, ‘hot’ women.
Lingerie for mothers – who have had humans exit their womb – being modelled by hotties.
This brought me to ask:
Question #44: Who is making the decision to use these types of unrealistic images – men or women?
Because whichever way you look at WHATEVER image you’re looking at – you can’t escape one undeniable and deflating fact:
You can’t have these unrealistic, fake, plastic, hyper-sexaulised images of women…without women.
…Just sayin’.
Deep Breath.
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Sign the petition!
May 10, 2012
OK ladies AND gentlemen – it’s time to act!
Click on the following link and vote against the Lingerie Football League!
It’s time to stop revolting ‘ideas’ like this becoming a reality. A friend saw them taking photos of the Aussie team, in a park in front of her child’s school.
Saturating and unavoidable – unless you cast your vote and say, “NO!”
We all have women we love in our lives – daughters, sisters, nieces, mothers – respect their honour and the fact that we need to nurture strong women for a better world – not insecure women who are being educated to believe that their sole purpose in life is to provide men with erections!
The radio station – Triple M – is sponsoring this. Let them know you’re not happy with an email!
Deep Breath…and do it!
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Sex…education?
May 9, 2012
In Australia, we have a show called Insight, where a panel of relevant people are assembled and, together with the audience, discuss a contemporary topic. The topic last night (Tue 8th May) was how easily children/teenagers are accessing porn and the effect it’s having on them.
It was fascinating and terrifying to watch, all at the same time. The panelists, consisting of three young adults (around 18-20 yrs old), discussed their first experience with porn – which was around ten yrs old for the boys and the girl said she was eleven.
ELEVEN. I have a daughter who’s nine. That’s one of the terrifying parts. One of the earliest images this girl remembers seeing, which affected her deeply at the time, was one of The Simpsons family…having sex with each other. To her young mind, this was disturbing.
Another scary part, obviously, is the explicit nature of what can be found – or worse, pop up. One of the boys said a pop-up gave him his first taste of porn, which in turn sparked the curiosity. They all said it was curiosity that kept them going back for more, as well as starting to learn ‘what to do’ during sex.
Unfortunately, due to that part of human nature that wants to be noticed/watched and ‘top’ what has already been done (plus the fact there are people out there who enjoy raunchier/kinkier sexual behaviour), what can be accessed can be anything and everything…and that’s where some kids are ‘learning’ about sex.
And kids are seeing it because, in this technologically savvy time, once one child sees it – they share it. Instantly. That’s the scariest part of all.
I’m sure there are some young people who may read this and think, “It’s OK – it’s not that bad,” but I’m not as convinced.
Mainly because, as ‘aware’ as I am about what’s available now – it’s still brand new territory for me as a parent. I have nothing to relate back to because, as I’ve mentioned before, when I was a child, the only really accessible porn was in magazines. Until the mid-80s, adults had to go to small, dingy XXX movie theatres – after that, it was in the comfort of their own home with the arrival of the video.
But now you can find whatever you want on the Internet because anyone can record anything and at any time – from something as small as their phone.
John Stoltenberg, a male feminist ally from the 70s, is credited with the quote:
“Pornography tells lies about women. But pornography tells the truth about men.”
This is the part that concerns me enormously because surely this would mean our boys/men will look for the level of sexual excitement they see in the porn they watch, in their real-life sexual encounters…and hope to get the hyper-sexualised woman to match.
Question #43: Does porn and images of hyper-sexualised women, affect the healthy, natural development of sexuality in both sexes?
I think it absolutely does…doesn’t it?
Worse still, how are women supposed to live up to all this? The statistic that 100% of boys have watched porn by their mid-teens is staggering. Couple this with the way young girls are dressing now – emulating this culture…it’s an unhealthy mix.
But the thing that young women may not realise, is that many pornographic films have women doing things – that most, real women don’t like.
Whatever the reasons the women being filmed have for doing it, has nothing to do with representing reality…it’s predominantly for pleasing the sexual urges of MEN.
I seriously believe that the percentage of women who TRULY want a sexual encounter with four men – with one penis in her vagina, another in her anus, another in her mouth, while masturbating the last – has to be microscopic. But I have seen an image of this – I didn’t just make that up. That woman is nothing and noone to the men she’s with.
As huge as the battle will be – we must be in our kids’ ears about the value of relationships and the wonderful connection that a sexual relationship can offer – to counteract the toxic nature of porn.
Deep Breath.
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Reality TV – friend or foe?
May 2, 2012
The other night, they showed The Truman Show on TV. I love that movie and as it had been a while since I last watched it – I settled in for another viewing.
I used to teach it as part of the HSC, years ago when I had Senior English classes – around 2005/2006 – so I know it very well.
As I’m watching it, this time around, I realise that I really am seeing this film, all these years later, through new eyes. In the film we see everybody glued to their sets, even attending The Truman Bar, to watch this one man who was not performing, but was simply himself.
Was it through this movie that the idea was hatched for reality TV?
The Truman Show came out in 1998. The first two BIG reality shows to hit our TVs were Big Brother and Survivor and they both started a year and two years (respectively) after this movie was released.
So here we are now and look at how our TV viewing has drastically changed – especially the shows that appeal to our younger people.
I have to admit that when Big Brother first started, I did find it compelling – well, the concept anyway. To get an actual mix of people and put them together to see what happens – fascinating. Of course, the fundamental flaw (which doesn’t occur in The Truman Show) is that everyone knows they’re being watched. But still, who needs scriptwriters when you have real life, right?
But, unfortunately, this digital, reality obsessed (and apparently sex-starved) population needed more. So the producers started just putting in young, attractive (?), single people – with a sprinkling of ‘older’ here and there – to create a new type of Big Brother: “Let’s see who hooks up.” It got so bad, here in Australia, that it got axed a few years ago. It was no longer a family show – although it was being shown in the early evening – it just became one that was ‘on heat.’
And what notoriety did some of the female contestants, in the latter shows, end up getting? Oooh, they got to pose for men’s magazines. How classy. Validation? – check. Fade into obscurity with the gazillion girls who would do the same? – check.
Funnily enough, a new network has picked up Big Brother here in Oz and they’re currently asking people to register to be in the house…I wonder if they need a feminist…No, just kidding!
Let’s jump to a fairly recent reality show that’s (I’m assuming), still popular among the young ones – Jersey Shore. I watched my second episode ever today…for research. *wink*
For those of you who don’t know about this show – they’re a bunch of 20 somethings put into a house together and cameras follow them around. This is a photo of them:
Well, what can I say. This episode had Snooki (girl in orange) recovering from being punched in the face, when partying in a bar, in the previous episode. Later, we see another punch up between JWoww (this is the girl in white with the very large chest – which is out on show every time she goes out) and another girl in the bar…because the girl called her ‘fat’ – and it was ON for young and old. Snooki’s response to seeing the fight was: “I just thought, how can I get in there?” There were a few hook-ups…
….and that was it.
For the next episode, they previewed two punch-ups – one between Snooki and another girl she called a ‘Rhino who attacked me’ and another between one of the male housemates and some other guy, on the Boardwalk…and some more hook-ups.
Well, titillating stuff, I tell you. Morons who eat, hook-up and fight – who are being watched and worst of all revered – well, maybe not revered, but they’re famous, making more money than people who do good and for what? Just entertainment?
It’s such gutter behaviour and it scares me to think that these people can be a benchmark – in any way – to normal behaviour. I appreciate that, of course, there are people who think and behave this way, but:
Question #39: Where are the shows to counter balance this perception of youth?
I’ll leave you with the wise words of Snooki, who said on today’s show, “I can’t eat that – it’s alive when they kill it.” (insert cricket noise)
Hmmmm…I think there’s something in that for all of us…
Deep Breath
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Questions for Us 