A few articles to whet your appetite.
December 17, 2012
Well, it definitely feels like there is starting to be more and more debate on gender behaviour. The following articles have different perspectives and experiences that I thought you might like. I did. There are many, many more articles out there, but I feel like I can’t keep up sometimes.- which is good, I suppose. Voices are being heard.
This first article written by Laurie Penny looks at the sexist bullying women can (and do) face on the Internet:
“Perhaps it should be comforting when calling a woman fat and ugly is the best response to her arguments, but it’s a chill comfort, especially when one realises, as I have come to realise over the past year, just how much time and effort some vicious people are prepared to expend trying to punish and silence a woman who dares to be ambitious, outspoken, or merely present in a public space.”
From the article: A woman’s opinion is the mini-skirt of the internet
The next article is written by Yashar Ali:
“You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!
Sound familiar?
If you’re a woman, it probably does. Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?”
From article: A Message to Women from a Man – You Are Not ‘Crazy’
This final article has restored Germaine Greer in my good books again. The following article appeared in The Canberra Times this last Saturday, and it’s great. Germaine voices an opinion on an experience in Amsterdam, which ruffled her feathers – and rightly so!
“At an event in Amsterdam recently, I was ordered by a woman on the stage to take the hand of the woman next to me, who happened to be 76-year-old Hedy d’Ancona, and tell her she was beautiful. This would be more conducive to her self-esteem, apparently, than reminding her that, having served as a minister under two Dutch governments, as a member of the European Parliament, and as chairman of Dutch Oxfam, she was immensely distinguished and I was honoured to be sitting next to her.”
From Greer’s article: Hands up if you’re feeling any less revolting?
It’s something I’ve been writing about for a while – The beauty we aspire to, does not come naturally…or cheaply.
I concur with you on this one, Germaine.
Don’t forget that Dove’s parent company, Unilever (which I’ve also written about), also did the sexist Lynx campaigns.
Dove’s message to women – “Love yourself for who you are, whatever shape. You’re beautiful!”
Lynx’s message to women: “You’re not beautiful and no man will want you, if you don’t look – and act – like this.” (PS Buy Dove or any other Unilever product – that MAY help).
Conflict of messages, much?
A Lynx’s poster campaign, for shower gel, featuring a woman standing underneath an outdoor shower on a beach wearing bikini bottoms while clasping an undone top against her boobs. The poster ran with the strapline “The cleaner you are the dirtier you get”.
Nice.
Anyway, I’ll leave you read.
It’s time to step outside of ‘the emotion’ of life and start becoming a rational observer of it.
Question #123: What do you see?
Deep Breath.
x
Physiology.
December 14, 2012
A week or so ago, my family and I had a bit of a Christmas gathering as it was the only time a lot of us were going to be all together. It was so lovely because it was a rare collection of loved ones who were all able to make it on that day only.
One of our dear family friends said a very elderly neighbour had recently passed away and that his children had finally gotten around to sorting out his belongings – some of which they kept and some, thrown out.
This friend rescued a full set of Children’s Encyclopaedia Britannicas and asked if I wanted them. To say I was chuffed was an understatement. They were published in 1970 – the year of my birth. I also got a four volumed set of The Cycle of Life – looking at the birds and the bees and titles such as, ‘How do you know it’s love?’ and all from the 60s.
They are truly wonderful and a treasure. and the smell of them – old and musty – is just divine.
A few friends had asked why I would want them as all the information would be outdated. Well some would be, but not all of it. Picasso is Picasso; the basic information would be the same.
I – or more importantly – my daughters can pick up a volume and read through some bits and pieces. I did that today, when I picked the volume with ‘Paintings’. There are beautiful, colour, glossy pictures of famous paintings – I found a beautiful, hand drawn illustration of the Pied Piper of Hamelin…it just goes on.
See, the stuff you get off the net is what you look for specifically and there are generally millions of pages presented to you – that flash up when you’ve typed in your search engine term. Millions. So most go with the top couple and that’s it.
But these books have intriguing, snippets of information – some information hasn’t changed and the areas that have, have you looking on with wonder at how much our society has progressed over the last 40 years or so – especially (obviously) in the area of technology and engineering. In other areas, however…
Basically I keep stumbling upon things that, more than likely, you can’t find on the net.
As I was flicking through, I found Physiology (the study of how our body works, like a machine) – which inspired this post. One part reads:
Everyone is born with the power to do these [automatic] reflexes without thinking, but people can learn other reflexes, such as riding a bicycle and feeling hungry as a mealtime draws near. These are called conditioned reflexes. Much of what a person does – that is, their physiology – is made up of automatic and conditioned reflexes.
Fascinating…and sobering.
Why? Because I think society is allowing businesses to feed on our automatic reflexes to make money – but are in turn creating conditioned ones. Bad conditioned ones…and there appears to be no end in sight because most people think ‘everything’s fine’.
Example? The recent discussion on the net over the Playboy Bunny bedspreads in the arts and craft shop Spotlight, had many people, of both genders, saying to relax – you just tell your young child that it’s a regular, ol’ bunny. Yes, you can, until it’s everywhere and the association of what it really stands for becomes quickly embedded and comes at a much, much earlier age.
At this moment I realised how little we go to the past anymore.
Noone looks back. Just forward.
Just more.
Pushing that line with an ever growing army.
While we stand idly by.
Let’s look back to our youth and its artists.
I looooved Duran Duran. I may have mentioned this before, but I was convinced that Simon Le Bon need only look at me (with my braces aged 14) and know he had found the one. But even though I was surrounded by posters of Duran Duran, I still knew of older artists and their contribution to music:
The Doors (another love), The Beatles, Elvis, The Stones, The Eagles, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, The Easybeats, The Monkees, The Style Council, Bob Marley, Simon & Garfunkle, Christopher Cross (don’t laugh), Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra…etc.etc. etc. I could go on.
Question #121: Who are our youth listening to today? And what are the messages in their songs?
Because there seem to be a lot of similar looking videos – hyper-sexualising girls and young women all wearing the ‘gagging-for-it’ uniform, as they writhe around the screen…and who can forget the famous lyrics:
Man: It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.
Woman: I am getting so hot, I’m gonna take my clothes off.
As well as the plethora of references to being nasty, freaky, hot, sexy and many more delightful terms. I heard a new song from Kanye West and the chorus goes like this:
Ain’t nobody f*ckin’ with my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
Ain’t nobody fresher than my muthaf*ckin’
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
As I look around, they don’t do it like my
Clique, clique, clique, clique, clique
And all these bad bitches, man, they want the…
They want the…They want the….(Insert the word dick)
Your kids may be listening to this song. It’s Kanye West.
Question #122: Is our youth’s conditioned reflexes changing their physiology for the worse?
Deep Scientific Breath.
x
Feminist Shout Out #5. Please watch this, guys.
December 5, 2012
I haven’t got time – I’m about to go to our School’s presentation evening.
BUT…I have to share this with you.
This video is made by a young man who has used his voice – and it’s wonderful.
Spot on.
Question #116: What can we, men and women, do to change things around?
Boys/guys/men: stop pushing your adult sexual urges and fantasies onto our kids (surely it can be interpreted that doing nothing is giving consent to it). Have some decency.
Toddlers in tiaras/sluts/crazy nut-jobs:
WAKE UP!
Look at how you’re being represented.
Question for women #117: Why are we even in the ads/shows/movies/music videos etc. etc. etc. to start with? Perpetuating it?
Women (as a gender) are helping – in a BIG way – to sell ourselves short. We are CONFIRMING everything that’s portrayed about us.
So that’s why we think it’s reality – but it’s not.
I’m not like that!
I find it gobsmacking that I’ve already had a sex talk with my 9 year old daughter – a while ago, actually – because that ‘slut’ representation is everywhere. Some queried whether she was too young for that chat and I thought, “Too young? My talk as a mother to her daughter, answering her questions, is more scrutinised than what we’re allowing them to see, like wallpaper?”
Our lives should have the tag-line: Parental Guidance Recommended.
Come on…what can we do to have a happier, mental world? To help our girls AND boys.
I have to go.
Deep Breath
x
Nearly there.
December 3, 2012
I’m sorry for the long absences – I am so close to going on holiday, that there is a little drool pooling up in my mouth…I can just TASTE it. But before that happens, it’s the usual crazed frenzy that comes with finishing everything off.
I have a few posts cooking which I’m hoping to start publishing once the lunacy subsides.
Until then, I thought I’d share this photo I saw on the internet.
I think it’s a gem. Enjoy!
Classic!
x
Question for men – #5
November 26, 2012
Yesterday, 25th November, was White Ribbon Day – a male-led campaign to stop violence against women.
The following article is an edited version of a speech given by Ken Lay, the Chief Commissioner of Victoria Police.
It includes some sobering facts and haunting situations. It practically seems unrealistic.
“We create the environment in which these people– who are 95 per cent men – think it is OK to do what they do.”
There must be something that can be done to change this.
Surely.
Not see women as the enemy?
What?
The ugly reality of violence against women
And please guys, don’t take this personally. I’m sure the majority of you reading this have never laid a finger on a woman or girl…BUT it doesn’t take away from the fact that the male gender is doing this.
You (guys) know how men tick – better than I, or any other woman, ever will – so:
Question #114: What’s the solution? How do we start to turn things around in this area?
Deep Breath for all women living violent and violated lives.
x
And then there’s this.
November 20, 2012
*Warning*
The following article contains information that some may find upsetting.
It has upset me quite deeply.
Female Circumcision in Indonesia
I have no words.
I have no question.
Our humanity seems to be disappearing…
ebbing away…
until we’re numb.
And you know what? If you say, “Well, that’s the way it’s always been” my response would be,
“So what!What do we think about it today??”
Doesn’t this bother anyone else?
If it does, then why is this sort of thing – as well as the countless, upon endless other kinds of atrocities – still HAPPENING?
There must be way to stop this.
Deep Breath
._.
It’s a girl! #2
November 15, 2012
In a part of my discussion about the ‘Femicide’ of girls in India and China, I referred to the core of its motivation being about greed – especially in terms of the dowry system in India.
Some of the people who commented in response to the post, weren’t so sure about greed being the primary drive – but I’d like to explain my understanding of it:
If an entire nation feels that their current system of female slaughter is acceptable because of the issue of a dowry – then money is the goal.
I think that at this point greed is the predominant factor because sons are revered for what they can ‘bring in’.
Women and girls, on the other hand, are treated like a commodity.
They are always owned.
You may feel that the term ‘greed’ is incorrect (maybe it is) – but I can’t get past the fact that the essence of it is money driven…and all because of the septic tradition of paying someone to take your daughter.
Worse still the amount of violence and ‘dowry deaths’ bestowed upon these poor, poor women – that comes from the parents not paying enough dowry – is again driven by money. Torture, starvation, beatings, forcing acid down women’s throats…
It makes me feel sick.
The following article A Report On The State Of India’s Girls has more devastating statistics like:
* Hundreds of girls born in India are given names like ‘Unwanted’ and ‘Undesired’ by their parents.
* 90% of abandoned children in India are girls.
* 25 million girls in India are married off before the age of 10.
* 53.22% of children in India have experienced some sexual abuse; 22% of them extreme forms of sexual violence.
* Up to 5 years of age, girls in India have a 40% higher mortality rate than boys the same age.
Towards the end of the documentary, a very eloquent Indian woman was explaining how ludicrous it was, that while women like herself try to engage in a dialogue with people who continue these disgusting practices, they end up finding themselves discussing women as if they’re the latest conservation plight – like ‘Save the Pandas’ – except women aren’t an animal – they are fellow human beings.
Question #112: Can we all stand and use a collective humanitarian voice to help these women and girls?
YES!
Sign this petition to stop Female Genocide in India:
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/stop-female-genocide-in-india/sign.html
At least it’s something.
Deep, deep breath.
x
It’s a girl!
November 15, 2012
On Monday night I joined some of the amazing ladies from Collective Shout (amongst other awesome people) to watch a documentary called, it’s a girl.
As the documentary stated, in our society those three words generally bring joy and elation – a healthy baby of either gender is a miracle and a gift. But this is most certainly not the case with unimaginable numbers of baby girls born in countries such as India and China.
These two countries were the focus of this completely disheartening look at the doomed and cursed life of being born female.
The movie kept using the term ‘Gendercide’ – but Melinda Tankard Reist, who said a few words before the screening, felt that the term ‘Femicide’ is more accurate. After all, the male gender is not at risk. At all.
The documentary first looked at India where we learn of one mother who, in her effort to bear a son, murdered eight of the baby girls she bore. Eight.
Why? Because when a girl is born, she only signifies a loss of money. Although dowries are not permitted it is still a very common practice. It is an entrenched custom, from the lowest classes to the elite.
A son = money that will come in from their daughter-in-law’s dowry.
A daughter = money lost to pay the dowry.
Greed. That is simply what it’s all about.
That realisation had a profound impact on me because in the back of my mind, I always saw greed as predominantly haunting the halls of the Capitalist realm.
But no. It’s everywhere. This chilling realisation also brought me to understand one simple truth – the main commodity used in making more money – are girls and women. Regardless of age. Regardless of location.
So if a baby girl is ‘lucky’ enough not be snuffed out at birth, she has a life of continual fear and struggle to contend with. Many face a life of neglect – no food or medical attention is afforded to them, as it’s always given to the boy. And of course, the ever-present fear of violence – such as being doused in petrol and set alight because the dowry wasn’t sufficient, for example.
After all, it’s HER fault.
‘Dowry deaths’ are illegal but justice is rarely served. Big surprise.
Then there’s China.
Their One Child Policy has created a situation that’s devastated its people. If you’re from the city, it’s only one child for you and if you’re from the country, a second child is permitted…if you’re first one was a girl.
Forced abortions are common place by the Family Planning Department. Back in June I posted Chinese abortion – which recounts the harrowing forced abortion, performed on a woman who was seven months’ pregnant.
Statistic – there are an estimated 35,000 abortions a day / 1,500 an hour. There are also approx. 500 suicide attempts by women in China a day.
That’s a lot of misery for the female gender.
Because so many girls have been ‘disposed of’ there are now 37 million MORE men than women in China. The similar, deeply rooted belief that the Chinese share with India, is that everybody wants a daughter-in-law…just no daughters.
These men, who are aimlessly dragging their feet through life without a wife, are called ‘bare branches’ – but hey, that’s just not on! Measures need to be taken to find him a wife.
How? Why not kidnap someone else’s young daughter and raise her yourself? Then she’ll be nice and ready to wed your son when they’re both a little older.
Sounds like a great plan!
Ooh, ooh! What about the men who just want to have fun? Well, how about kidnapping more young girls – really little ones too – and sell them as sex slaves? A fortune could be made! Excellent notion. Top notch.
Statistic – 70,000 girls a year are trafficked.
On my drive home I was inundated with so many conflicting emotions. Predominantly it was helplessness. I met a wonderful couple at the screening, Liz and Michael Newton-Brown, a married couple who started their own group called, The Freedom Project – Ending human trafficking and slavery – and I asked them, “What can be done? It seems hopeless.”
It’s absurd. It’s madness. What has the human race succumbed to?
What the hell is going on???
If it’s not a hatred towards women and girls, what is it?
When I got home I asked my husband rhetorically, why does ‘man’ look down on ‘woman’ so much?
I mean:
Question #111: Why aren’t we a team?
How wonderful it would be if we were. Truly were.
We wouldn’t recognise this place.
Thank goodness for all the driven, dedicated and inspiring people, like the ones mentioned above, who are tirelessly trying to raise awareness. There’s hope.
Deeep Breath
x
Go and put the kettle on…
November 10, 2012
Are you comfortable?
Because it’s time to have a chat – especially with the Aussie parents out there – about a magazine that’s tapping into the seedy and degrading underbelly of our boys and men’s minds and it’s using a firm and taloned grip.
I should warn you that there are images, with text, in this post that may offend some readers (I was offended…putting it mildly) and if they don’t – I encourage you to step away from your personal perspective and think of the fact that the rest of us (including {and especially} kids, whose minds are absorbing like sponges) can’t avoid them.
They’re everywhere. Shaping.
This Australian magazine’s simple existence, (along with its horrible brethren versions around the planet) – and the manner in which it has evolved and spread over the years – leaves me gobsmacked.
Well, no, I suppose it doesn’t. Once you dangle the proverbial carrot in front of a weak society, anything goes nowadays. Point in case? This magazine.
What does perplex me, however, is the desensitised indifference that society as a whole seems to have towards magazines like this.
Or is it that most people – especially parents – simply don’t know the dangerous and misogynistic reach these types of magazines have?
This magazine is cheap – only a few dollars – with no age restrictions for purchase at your local newsagency and it predominantly exploits women.
Finally, it calls itself Zoo. Are we animals?
In a recent post, Melinda Tankard Reist discusses Zoo Magazine and says:
28000 – That’s the number of boys aged 14-17 estimated to read Zoo magazine each week. Despite its pornographic nature Zoo magazine is classified as ‘men’s lifestyle’ and therefore unrestricted – anyone can buy it. Zoo is conveniently positioned and priced for young readers to purchase in convenience stores, service stations and Coles and Woolworths.
It also states that:
“More Australian men buy and read ZOO than any other magazine in the country – that’s a fact.” – ACP Magazines, Zoo Magazine distributor
28000 a week – of teen boys.
Any alarm bells set off yet?
Many years ago, I had my first experience with Zoo – around the time of its inception in 2007. A copy was confiscated from a 12 year old boy at school. I looked through it and was a little stunned – for so many reasons. Amongst its variety of ‘sections’ (including a baby-seal clubbing article with pictures), the standouts in this particular issue were:
1. A multi-paged ‘article’ with photography of raunchy video-clip stills – predominantly breasts and women bending over, mouths open in erotic ecstasy etc.
2. A section where regular, everyday girls (mostly teens) have sent a ‘selfie’ of themselves in underwear or bikini in ‘sexy’ poses, to be ranked by the readers.
3. An advice section, where it’s two women answering the queries in each issue and are photographed with only underpants on, topless but turned to the side.
A 12 year old had it.
So now I’m going to ask you to have a look at Zoo Magazine’s Home Page.
How are those alarm bells going now?
Now envisage the amount of young boys going to this site.
This is the downside of the Internet, I suppose – furthered by the unyielding force that is Facebook.
Zoo Magazine has a Facebook page.
{Of course it does; it’s good business, right? And that’s what’s ultimately respected, after all – making money}
This is the place where parents can see the ease of infiltration, as well as the predatory domination that is occurring. Remember that legally, a person needs to be 13 years old to open an account on Facebook – but we all know parents who open up accounts for their children, as young as their first years of Primary School.
Recently, Zoo put up the following post (question) for its readers on its Facebook page:
“Left or right? But you’ve got to tell us how you came to that decision.”
For those who can’t read the print, the first comment that appears in this image says: “Left…You have the mouth and the tits to fuck.”
Here are some more responses:
Women being discussed as ‘holes’, ‘it’ or the lovely, ‘either end there’s shit coming out’.
Misogyny. Pure misogyny.
And this platform sees them all clapping each other on the back and giving each other high-fives. Aaahh, the Brotherhood is certainly strong in these circles.
It’s grooming our boys and they’re multiplying. How can they not be?
If the way boys and men think about women is ever-changing for the worse (as evidenced by magazines like Zoo, the post above, Facebook pages on 12 year old sluts etc) then:
Question #110: Are we happy to stand back and let these businesses sabotage our youth by only perpetuating sex as disconnected, dirty and now violently dominating?
Some boys will never know the joy of what a loving relationship entails – where a woman’s wants are equal to his. How sad, but it won’t be entirely their fault because Internet porn and businesses like Zoo Magazine, taught them differently.
And learn they do; they’re KIDS.
I can see older men shaking their head as they’re reading this, thinking how you grew up with ‘Playboys stashed underneath your bed’ and that you turned out ‘alright’. Well, your experience and attitude is a cog (and continues to be) in the terrible state of affairs today.
The comments above are hateful. Nothing good comes from hate.
One may have entertained thoughts or ‘jokes’ similar to the ones posted on the Facebook page above but I probably would have never known; now it’s posted online and it’s permanent. Then it feeds, thanks to the unprecedented way sites like Facebook spread information.
Spreading hate.
How can that NOT be damaging our kids?
A task: Want to take some action? You can join us and let the battle begin against the visible stocking of lads’ mags like ZOO.
Next time you fill up at the petrol station or shop at Woolies or Coles, have a look and see where these sorts of magazines are positioned.
Knowing the damage it can do, just from its sexist cover – should it be there?
A friend confronted a petrol station owner who had all these types of magazines above the lollies that kids make a beeline for.
After that, it’s simple. If they listen and change, continue giving them your business. If not, take your business elsewhere and tell them why you’re doing so.
Remember that money talks. It’s the only way.
Deep Breath and go get ‘em!
A nice one for the girls.
November 10, 2012
Just a quick post – as I’m watching the movie In Her Shoes on the telly.
What a delight. I’ve been enjoying it so much.
It has it’s touches of ‘Hollywood’ – yes – but the main protagonists are all women and we see all their flaws – their different shapes and looks – as well as their gifts.
It looks at the sisterhood…the good, the bad and the ugly.
And there’s beauty in their flaws.
Toni Collette is always her amazing self – a.mazing – and Cameron Diaz is fantastic; she was great in this role. There’s also Shirley Maclaine…and last, but not least, a divine collection of gorgeous shoes!
It’s like you can kind of relate to every female character, in some tiny way (or in many) – whether as a part of you or as a part of the women around you.
Complex women. Like us.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this movie with you – one that (I thought) portrayed a more truthful representation of a cross-section of women. This seems to be a lacking element of the movies nowadays.
Watch it one day – and please be sure to visit me again and tell me what you thought of it.
We need more movies like this.
Nigh Night.
Questions for Us 