Feeling a bit ineffectual.
July 12, 2012
I got together today with some very dear friends of mine. We took our kids to the park to play, while we caught up. Towards the end of the ‘play date’, it was just Katy and me, and we were having a chat about a lot of things relating to our lives as women and mums. Of course, I always end up talking about the stuff I want to write about and I told her how I can’t keep up with the things that pop up in the world that incense me or inspire me.
I feel like the things that incense me, though, are the ones I need to tell everyone about. I guess I feel like if I don’t, people won’t realise the extent of our global problems and if they don’t know, they can’t do anything about it. And we need to, don’t we?
Today I’m feeling a bit bummed and low about it all, actually. I’m feeling overwhelmed.
In the last couple of days I have heard about:
- A comic in America making rape jokes at The Laugh Factory. Shit.
- Domino’s Pizza in the U.S. thought it would be a riot to have a new campaign titled, “No is the new Yes.” Another rape joke. Full article here
- I read an article about hardcore porn which says:
“…that hardcore porn (called “gonzo” by the industry and fans) is now mainstream on the Internet, that choking with a penis, slapping, hair pulling, and verbal abuse is the norm. The producer is horrified to hear that women in porn suffer repeatedly from rectal prolapse (because of pounding anal sex), and get diseases such as clamidia of the eye, gonorrhea of the throat, and fecal throat infections (because of the ATM act in which the penis goes from the anus to the mouth without washing).” Full article here.
Choking with a penis. For fuck’s sake.
- A woman was executed – shot in the head repeatedly, in Afganistan accused of committing adultery, while a hundred or so men watched and cheered. One comment on the YouTube Reuter’s report was, “These bitches deserved it. They were sluts!!!” …so there are obviously more than this one woman (of course). So where are the consequences for all the male ‘sluts’ in Afganistan?
I actually wept when I saw this report.
The above was just in the last few days (and there were more – but you get the gist). Then there’s the following:
- Women – and more catastrophically, girls – are being sold and trafficked as sex slaves. It’s abhorrent:
What can be done for these women and girls who live a life of actual, pure hell? I can’t imagine how, when the world seems so disinterested.
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And here at home? In the ‘developed’ world, women and girls are sold a cookie-cutter image to aim for. That simple.
Why? Because money makes the world go around and we need our women, who carry the weight of consumerism, to BUY!
How can it be done? Create an unattainable image for most and therefore create self-hatred and loathing – splash it EVERYWHERE – make it fashionable – provide make-up, clothes, hairstyles (that all cost more than the male equivilants) – and then sit back (count your billions) and just watch women kill themselves over it.
Body and soul destroying.
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Women have, without exaggerating, microscopic representation in the running of things on the entire PLANET, yet we make up half the population.
On top of that, it’s an insult to ANY man, after all, to have female traits – “You run like a girl; You’re not crying like a girl, are you?” And ten million other such insults.
Question #71: So how can we ever be seen as equals, when everything we are about and how we perseve, is considered sub-standard?
So here I am – feeling like the ache in my heart can’t quite take it. It practically seems hopeless.
The worst part is that there are people who continually test my claim that I’m not anti-male. I’m quite tired of it. My stance is simple:
Women victims of violence, rape, assault, prostitution, sexual trafficking – due to men. Period. And it’s horrific.
Women victims of inequality in the ‘developed world’ – due to decisions made by men…BUT to an extent, with our consent. Both playing a part.
We need to band together – women AND men dammit! – to start saying, “No, that’s not right!” – REGARDLESS of how long it’s been going on for or when the statement, “It’s how it’s always been,” enters your head.
Question #72: What’s the point of history and evolving, if we’re not prepared to make changes for the better??
Enough of the ‘women against men’ stance and visa versa. That’s not what I’m about (for the millionth time).
What’s the point of fighting me? How am I affecting the world for the worse by pointing out the countless ways women are being exploited worldwide? My journey is about us taking action together to get rid of the patriarchal world, run by a select few.
Deep melancholy breath.
x
An important question for men and women. Equally.
July 9, 2012
I have a two-parter today. Women need to see this – but I really need to get some thoughts from the guys’ end of the fence. Unfortunately, what I’d really like, is to hear some young men’s perspectives, but I doubt they read this blog – so, seeing as you older lads know what’s going on inside a male’s mind, I’d love your opinion AND input as to how we can change things around.
Firstly there is a short going around, similar to Miss Representation, but instead looking at how the sexualisation of the current culture, is developing our future men:
There’s a question in the piece that asks:
“So where do guys get the idea that women are play things, eye candy and sexual objects for our enjoyment?”
As the question is being asked, a scene from a movie is shown, where a stream of attractive women walk in – dressed in lingerie – who then all bend over in front of a male who’s stunned, while the other, Adam Sandler, directs the girls to do it.
So degrading. As a woman, it’s hard to watch.
“The answer is, quite honestly, everywhere.” – they say.
True. It is. It’s at saturation point.
BUT!..and this is where I repeat that I’m not anti-male – you can’t have a stream of women bending over…WITHOUT WOMEN. Without their consent.
So, if our girls are lining up to pander to this heterosexual male fantasy (porn) behaviour and look:
Question #69: What are we, as a society, doing to instigate this?
Can it be changed? Pulled back a notch? Can we (you) stand up and do something to help gain some control of this spiralling problem?
OK – Part two.
A 20-something year old guy started a ‘bed of shame’ idea on Twitter, getting guys to take photos of themselves next to the woman they’ve spent the night with. Click here for article. It was so popular over the weekend – inundated with photos – that he’s doing it again. Filth.
Question #70: What do men think about the accessibility and ease guys have, to be able to do this to women?
I know what I think about all of this – and I’m sure you have a sense of what I think too…but what do YOU think? About any of it.
Is there a solution?
Leaving it with you.
Deep Breath.
x
A response – # 3
June 4, 2012
I invite you all to read the SIX comments an American gentleman left as a response to my last post.
I actually don’t know what he’s on about because he only keeps repeating in bold letters: they CANNOT COMPETE WITH THE NFL.
Over and over again…plus a lot of insults.
I think the springboard for his rant, was my question wondering why the women can’t wear protective gear. I meant mainly skin protection, as they’re being brutally tackled onto the ground, with literally nothing on. Fair question, isn’t it?
He also talks about his country’s superiority and how retarded we are in Australia…although I’m sure he just means me.
That’s OK…
…because at least I have a grasp of grammar and know how to clearly make my point – something this gentleman is lacking.
Superior indeed.
Deeeep Breath.
x
PS The following are some more promotional shots for the LFL.
Question #53: Don’t you think these images cross the line? (especially the second one)
There is no male equivalent. If you do have examples – I’d love to see them.
I’m pretty sure you mostly agree with me…so I ask you:
What’s the lesson – what is it teaching?
Just sayin’ – #4
May 30, 2012
Picture this – you have a yearning to do something – something that gives you a real fire in your belly. You’ve been told that being a woman means that there are no boundaries and that you can do anything! GO FOR IT!
Well, some of the women who are involved in the LFL feel that fire and want to feel that sporting challenge.
This week I have heard arguments in favour of the LFL – of genuinely interested women who want to play but have no other avenue to do so…unless they wear ‘the uniform.’
Question #49: What does this say about our unequal world, if the only way these women can play this sport is by looking sexually provocative?
As I’ve heard said, “Why else would anyone go watch women’s sport?” Sad.
I asked why these women don’t just start up a league and play on their own terms… and the answer is – it doesn’t make money.
When the LFL was about to launch in the US, the Chicago Tribune quoted: “For those who have long mulled what would happen if you wedded Victoria’s Secret with professional football, the Lingerie Football League debuts…” it also says, “…the league, billing itself as true fantasy football…”
It is, what it is.
Whatever positive messages this sport has, it’s lost in its packaging – or lack there-of.
Sad.
If my wonderful grandmother were still alive, I wonder what she would think of women being portrayed and SOLD in this manner?
…Just sayin’
Deep Breath.
x
It’s less than a week before the LFL plays in Brisbane and Sydney and I’m going to continue using my voice to oppose it. Go to Change.org and vote!
What about the white elephant in the room?
May 25, 2012
The creator of the LFL, Mitchell Mortaza, has issued an official statement in direct response to Australia’s Federal Minister for Sport, Kate Lundy.
I am utterly perplexed because what we’re saying is simple. Either the men involved don’t get it or they just want to have things their way. I think they get it.
In the statement, the only issue Mortaza discusses about the LFL, in its defence, is the actual sport itself. I don’t think there’s a single woman out there who wouldn’t applaud any female athlete, who challenges and extends her physical boundaries.
But what about the white elephant in the room? The fact that the women are playing a tough, injury ridden game in. their. frilly. underwear! …with garter belts, bow ties and accidental nudity to boot!
Question #47: If it truly is all about the sport, why do the women have to play in unprotective, sexually provocative underwear?
THAT’s the problem. It’s sexism…and it’s exploitation. As a response to a comment left after my last post, I wrote:
This is what was written about one of the US players of the LFL:
Tampa Breeze Florida player Liz Gorman told CBC Radio earlier this year what it is like to wear uniforms designed for maximum flesh exposure: “Oh. Well … well, honestly … I don’t like it. I’d rather wear full clothing. Because when you fall, it literally rips your skin. I’d love more clothing, but at the same time like any sport, the players don’t get to choose the uniform.”
Well, she doesn’t sound like she loves it but if she says no, she’ll probably lose her job. Do you know what it reminds me of? When I worked in Uruguay and the people there had terrible workers’ rights – and if you didn’t like your situation? Well, there’s a queue of people willing and waiting to take your spot. It’s exploitation.
On the Collective Shout FB page, they wrote:
“Have just been listening to some interviews with ex LFL players. All the same story, they say they paid health insurance with the LFL, endured a serious injury and the LFL refused to pay. One woman is thousands in debt because of medical expenses.”
Wow, sounds like a dream job! The fact that all these revelations are coming out means that these women are (or will eventually) be exploited. Bottom line.
Therefore, it’s wrong and we should fight against it coming here.
According to Mortaza, the Australian fan base brought them out. Surely there’s more of us who are against it…surely…
Does anyone else like Mortaza’s suit? Nicely covered, isn’t he? One woman wrote the following on Collective Shout’s FB page:
“People with power are clothed. People without power, unclothed. Simple”
I’ll leave you ladies with something to mull over. On the issue of gender clothing coverage, have you noticed how guys’ boardshorts are getting longer? I’ve seen lengths that are mid-calf. MID-CALF! That’s a lot of coverage. What are they trying to hide? They used to wear actual shorts 25 years ago…actually guys and girls had similar lengths.
So, why don’t they wear Speedos?
What? They don’t want to show the world their ‘penis bump?’ Feel a little too exposed?
Women, on the other hand…
Deep Breath…and don’t forget to vote against this on Change.org!
x
With power comes great responsibility.
May 24, 2012
It feels like we’re entering (if not already entered) a paradigm where power is highly sought after – but the ‘responsibility’ that comes with that power, is being neglected.
This issue of the Lingerie Football League (LFL) is getting me quite fired up. I’ve been having a small ‘discussion’ with a man on my Questions for Women Facebook page. My last comment to him is at the end of this post.
His perception, like maaaany, is that we need to take a ‘chill pill’ about the whole thing.
I must admit that my first response to him had some bite because, like many comments I’ve read before, men compare something like the LFL to the uniforms worn by Beach Volleyball players (for example).
They see the difference and that alarms me deeply.
That one is a uniform adequate for the sport and the other is lingerie with garter belts?…and ‘accidental nudity?’ According to an article written by Melinda Tankard Reist:
“Players have to sign contracts agreeing to “accidental nudity”. There’s nothing accidental about it: flesh exposure is virtually guaranteed. The contract states: ” … Performances hereunder may involve accidental nudity. Player knowingly and voluntarily agrees to provide player’s service … and has no objection to providing services involving player’s accidental nudity.”
If they wear any additional items of clothing under the lingerie they will be fined $500. Apart from All Star matches, they are not paid. And they are at serious risk of injury. In fact, the league brags about all the injuries suffered by female players.
It is a mix of voyeurism and violence.”
Now – the most important point or argument put forward:
“But they’re doing it of their own free will.”
Are they? Really?
Well, yes, literally they are – but is the decision an educated one? If you think of the quote, “You can’t be what you can’s see” (Miss Representation), these women are products of what they’ve seen around them, as they’ve grown and developed, and now they’re simply making the image grow, as it tragically becomes ‘fashion’ or worse, the norm. It’s a growing emergency because the more girls and young women are ‘fed’ this image, the more they feel the necessity to join up…
…and don’t the guys just love that they do.
After all, human beings have that uncanny knack for doing things that may not be the best for them – especially it feels good. Right?
And this is where I need to state – quite emphatically – that I don’t begrudge people of their desires. But I need to ask:
Question #46: Where do we draw the line? Where’s the responsibility to our youth?
I believe these young women DO need our help – make it our responsibility, seeing as the men in power are only looking out for themselves – because these women haven’t had much else to model themselves on. They’re insecure of their worth and need validation. They’re told by men that they’re ‘hot’ – paid nothing (in most cases) – and are ultimately exploited.
I continue to be completely (and sadly) gobsmacked that this LFL was permitted to come to Australia. The presentation game is in Sydney in two and a half weeks, so please make sure you vote against this on Change.org:
I think there may even be two different petitions going. Sign them all!
Deep Breath everyone!
x
![US_SOCIE(32)[1]](https://questionsforus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/us_socie321.jpg)
Facebook comment:
This ‘sport’ only exists to exploit women to service men’s desires.
Questions for Us 