A question for men – #2
June 26, 2012
In my kitchen there is an interesting piece I found in an antique shop when I was in my 20s. Its rustic, wooden frame contains a page from a Home Economics book circa 1950. Its title is:
Tips to look after your Husband.
When my daughter was about six and really getting into reading, she stood in front of this and started to read. I was cooking dinner and giggling as she read lines such as:
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs…
….. and would then turn to me and say, “Have you done that?”
Or then there’s this snippet of wisdom:
Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner – count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day…
“Have you done that?”
It sounded ludicrous and that’s why it was so funny to hear, in this day and age.
BUT at the same time, it got me thinking about how women seem to have always been instructed on how to behave towards men – 1950s: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” 2012: …I wouldn’t even know what to write here – I imagine it would be very sexual.
As I have said many times over – I was your poster girl for teen-girl feelings, hopes and dreams – I wanted to find the perfect guy.
How was I going to do that? Get advice from Cleo and Cosmopolitan magazines, of course! Haha! Tragic.
These magazines, which I religiously read throughout my university years in the late 80s/early 90s, provided every young woman with everything they needed to know – chock full of advice on how to look, what to wear and most importantly – how to snag a guy…including ENDLESS sexual activity ideas – especially with his penis.
Ironically enough, Jezebel just published a list of Cosmopolitan’s Most Ridiculous Sex Tips article here. Gee, there are some CLASSIC suggestions in this list – and if anyone can remember, it was more of the same – issue after issue.
Instructions for women.
So I just have this question:
Question #62: Where are the instructions for young men about how to treat a woman, in their popular culture?
It’s concerning that girls are continually being groomed to satisfy men – only.
Again, ladies and gentlemen, there ain’t nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy your partner. It’s important to learn what makes them tick and want to please them.
But what are boys being taught about women? What are their magazines (for example) teaching them?
Well, all that seems to be out there for boys are specialty sports magazines and ones like Zoo Magazine – which is basically soft-porn/porn, with sections such as: ‘Booty Bank’ and ‘Strip Search’.
How are boys supposed to have a respectful attitude towards women, when they don’t get an ‘instruction manual’ like women seem to have?
Of course, I KNOW men would cry out collectively and say the manual would look something like this:
Well, it would be a start boys…it would be a start.
Deep Breath.
x
If you had any doubt…
June 18, 2012
I’m appealing to all the good guys out there because at the end of the day, this topic – which has reared its ugly head again – is really for you.
If there were any doubt about how low Mitch Mortaza, the founder of the Lingerie Football League, can stoop – well, he has.
Paris Jackson, Michael Jackson’s daughter – aged 13, has been approached to be a spokesperson for the LFL. Article here.
In the letter that Mitch wrote to Paris, it outlined that she:
“…will be introducing youth clinics across the country to introduce the game of football to young ladies at an earlier stage in life.”
Introducing young ladies at an earlier stage in life?
How bloody early?
This is why things like the LFL need to be scrutinised and assessed – because once we become (or already have become) a society which just keeps accepting things as they come – without question – then the ‘line’ just gets moved further and further back until…what?
Question #59: When will we say, ‘enough?’ When we have Tweens playing Lingerie Football?
Will the men who may attend such a sporting event, hope the ‘nudity clause’ will stay in place? Maybe catch sight of a pre-teen hairless pubic area?
If you’re thinking that’s sick – well, YES! It is.
Paris is 13…just entering her teens and Mitch thinks it’s a good idea to have her endorse this and create a culture of acceptance – especially with our vulnerable girls.
Needless to say that Paris has declined the offer and the family is completely outraged with it all. Fantastic! These are small mercies which give some hope.
BUT there is a man out there who’s not only created the LFL and (of course) found a market, but is now after our daughters – just to make HIMSELF rich.
Question #60: Does Mitch Mortaza deserve this wealth – just because he can?
I’m pretty sure I could make a lot of money, by crossing some hideous line…and seeing as women are the main consumers on the planet, I’m actually positive I could.
But I won’t…and that’s the difference.
Shame on you, Mitch. And shame on the men and women who perpetuate it all.
…and good on you, Paris!! (seen below, smashing the opposing team, holding up her hands in victory…fully dressed).
I reckon she felt pretty awesome, pumped and confident at that moment. Don’t we want the same for our girls?
Deep Breath.
x
This is Freedom from Porn Culture‘s post about what happened at the LFL Sydney game last night.
All logic points to this ‘sport’ being shite – simply because of its uniform. That is all.
For those of you who didn’t get an insiders look at the LFL Promo match at Sydney last night, you missed the cause of equality for female athletes being set back, here are the updates…
Grey team player loses her pants, the mostly male crowd goes wild, they replay it ‘close up’ on the big screen and the crowd cheers. Pink team makes a touchdown, player celebrates by slapping her thighs and making hand gesture of a vagina. An athlete in the crowd says “I’m a sports person and I find this so offensive.” LFL players dance for the men, the men go wild, not unlike a strip club (sounds like strip club sport, looks like strip club sport, equals strip club sport). Three male spectators are invited on the field to chase and tackle one of the LFL players (Melinda Tankard Reist – “in no other sport would crowd be…
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A response – # 3
June 4, 2012
I invite you all to read the SIX comments an American gentleman left as a response to my last post.
I actually don’t know what he’s on about because he only keeps repeating in bold letters: they CANNOT COMPETE WITH THE NFL.
Over and over again…plus a lot of insults.
I think the springboard for his rant, was my question wondering why the women can’t wear protective gear. I meant mainly skin protection, as they’re being brutally tackled onto the ground, with literally nothing on. Fair question, isn’t it?
He also talks about his country’s superiority and how retarded we are in Australia…although I’m sure he just means me.
That’s OK…
…because at least I have a grasp of grammar and know how to clearly make my point – something this gentleman is lacking.
Superior indeed.
Deeeep Breath.
x
PS The following are some more promotional shots for the LFL.
Question #53: Don’t you think these images cross the line? (especially the second one)
There is no male equivalent. If you do have examples – I’d love to see them.
I’m pretty sure you mostly agree with me…so I ask you:
What’s the lesson – what is it teaching?
A question for men – #1
June 3, 2012
Well guys, in true faith of the fact that I’m fighting for a balanced world and perspective, I’m keen to also strike up a conversation with you.
I know that there are MANY men who agree with the fact that things are skewing out of balance in what is being portrayed about both girls and boys; women and men. But, of course, there’s always a perspective that men have, that is quite different to women’s.
Adam wrote a response to my post, Just sayin’ – #4. It reads:
I think – as a bloke – I’m not interested in mens tennis but id rather watch womens tennis (not just for the grunting either) It is also a better style of match to watch.
I wouldn’t watch women’s rugby but i would watch the lingerie ball if it was on telly – I wouldn’t go to it or go out of my way mind you
What I’m saying is that if women market themselves as aesthetically pleasing they actually have an ADVANTAGE over men in sports –
Why is this so bad when women like Lauren eagle use their good looks (unfortunately not speaking ability though) to get sponsorship and money – I dont see the same opportunities coming to a young guy with the same skill-set.
Athletes play to their strengths and good luck to them – what would these girls in the Lingerie ball be doing otherwise? checkout, home mums, glamour work or worse? Maybe some have other jobs – that would be great – but this is where i reckon they make their money – and good luck to them.
I know women like watching mens contact sports because of the guys looking “fit”
Thats what i think – Ads
My reponse to this is simple. I understand and agree that women have always been ‘the fairer sex’ and have used that to their advantage, to an extent.
However, it’s becoming the ‘poster’ for our young girls – except it’s not the ‘seductive’ or ‘sexually mysterious’ look that we used to have – in this internet and inter-connected current culture – it’s just ‘slutty.’
Can you see the difference?
Tonight on The Project (again) they had a story on the LFL because the first demonstration game was on last night, in Brisbane.
Wow! I tell you what – the footage I saw of the US girls playing, was full on. They were smashing each other. It was really impressive actually. They looked like amazing athletes. I did cringe, though, when they were being rammed into the ground – with nothing but bare skin.
So…why can’t they wear proper protective gear?
The audience was a sea of men, drinking beer. Collective Shout posted the following:
“Heaps of kids there, great family entertainment” reported Mike Goldman from last night’s Lingerie Football League event in Brisbane. He also tweeted this picture.
Would all of these men have gone to watch if the women were dressed like their male counterparts? If the answer is no, which I suspect it is (tell me if I’m wrong) – then there’s the problem and why it’s going too far. What does it say about us as a society?
One of the panelists on The Project (I can’t remember his name) said something about this being “the women’s choice to play.”
Yes, it’s their choice. But I wonder why there are so many eager candidates. Are we teaching a generation of girls that it’s OK to dress this way – even in sport? Do you think it’s OK?
If you are a parent, relative or friends with people with young girls and boys:
Question #51: Do you think the casual acceptance of the LFL is an indicator that things are heading down a dangerous road?
I see young boys, like the one in the picture above, learning about women and how this saturated look is fine tuning his tastes for ONE sexually desirable look.
I see young girls learning that men only want ONE sexual look.
Why? Because it’s everywhere – right into their smartphones, in their hands.
Question #52: Is this what we really want for our young ones? One look – no variety – just to make money?
If you’re new to my blog, I have always stated that I think men and women have had the same desires throughout time, and that’s cool – but I didn’t have this in my face when I was growing up (I’m 42).
How do we navigate and guide our youth through this? Surely saying the LFL is OK, is not the way.
Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
Deep Breath.
x
PS If you’d like to vote against this sport coming to Australia – because these women (and in turn our daughters) are being objectified – go to Change.org and cast your vote.
http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-the-lingerie-football-league-in-australia
It’s a long way, to the top…
June 2, 2012
As I was cooking last week, I caught the tail end of the show, The Project. I have to say that one of their last stories drove home some simple truths about women in the work force. I found myself shouting, “YES!” in the kitchen…on my own, haha!
Because what they discussed so simply; so succinctly; is an issue that – I believe – hits the core of how we can possibly make change.
The story discussed the microscopic representation of women in clout positions ‘at the top’ and the glass ceiling women hit – something I’ve been discussing for a while. In a nut shell – we barely a voice in the running of this world.
Statistics they presented:
- In Australia, the percentage of women at the top (Female Chairs and CEOs of ASX 200 companies)… 2.75% less than three percent!
- Australia is equal 1st, in the world, with women’s education AND we’re better educated than men – 87/100 women enrolled in tertiary education compared to 67/100 men. Irony number one.
- Advertising man, Todd Sampson, who was on the panel, said that women represent 5% of top advertising positions, although women constitute 80% of buying power. Massively HUGE bit of irony there.
Natasha Stott Despoja even says, “What’s it going to take?”
I’ve always discussed these issues in the past, with a gargantuan sense of frustration. We’re equally as smart, we have the buying power…and yet…
They said that in Norway (if my hearing over the extractor fan was good), they put a quota on getting women in the boardroom (currently at 11% in Australia) – up to 40% – by law.
Many countries have listened and are already following suit.
It’s huge.
Here in Australia there’s discussion about putting in a temporary quota system, aiming at 40%, to inject women into more clout positions.
I think this is a fantastic idea.
Of course, there is an objection – as one woman said, she didn’t want to get a job because of a quota she wanted to get it on her own merits. There’s one colossal flaw with this…if we have the brains (and then some), why aren’t we there already? As Dr Phil likes to say, “How’s that working for ya?”
Seeing as the current system isn’t remotely representing women adequately:
Question #50: Do you think a quota is the way to go? If not, how?
The following picture is from an article from The Guardian (UK), where the following was written:
Britain’s economic recovery is being held back by a lack of women in the boardroom, David Cameron has warned.
The prime minister said there was clear evidence that ending Britain’s male-dominated business culture would improve performance.
Thoughts?
Deep Breath
x
Just sayin’ – #4
May 30, 2012
Picture this – you have a yearning to do something – something that gives you a real fire in your belly. You’ve been told that being a woman means that there are no boundaries and that you can do anything! GO FOR IT!
Well, some of the women who are involved in the LFL feel that fire and want to feel that sporting challenge.
This week I have heard arguments in favour of the LFL – of genuinely interested women who want to play but have no other avenue to do so…unless they wear ‘the uniform.’
Question #49: What does this say about our unequal world, if the only way these women can play this sport is by looking sexually provocative?
As I’ve heard said, “Why else would anyone go watch women’s sport?” Sad.
I asked why these women don’t just start up a league and play on their own terms… and the answer is – it doesn’t make money.
When the LFL was about to launch in the US, the Chicago Tribune quoted: “For those who have long mulled what would happen if you wedded Victoria’s Secret with professional football, the Lingerie Football League debuts…” it also says, “…the league, billing itself as true fantasy football…”
It is, what it is.
Whatever positive messages this sport has, it’s lost in its packaging – or lack there-of.
Sad.
If my wonderful grandmother were still alive, I wonder what she would think of women being portrayed and SOLD in this manner?
…Just sayin’
Deep Breath.
x
It’s less than a week before the LFL plays in Brisbane and Sydney and I’m going to continue using my voice to oppose it. Go to Change.org and vote!
With power comes great responsibility.
May 24, 2012
It feels like we’re entering (if not already entered) a paradigm where power is highly sought after – but the ‘responsibility’ that comes with that power, is being neglected.
This issue of the Lingerie Football League (LFL) is getting me quite fired up. I’ve been having a small ‘discussion’ with a man on my Questions for Women Facebook page. My last comment to him is at the end of this post.
His perception, like maaaany, is that we need to take a ‘chill pill’ about the whole thing.
I must admit that my first response to him had some bite because, like many comments I’ve read before, men compare something like the LFL to the uniforms worn by Beach Volleyball players (for example).
They see the difference and that alarms me deeply.
That one is a uniform adequate for the sport and the other is lingerie with garter belts?…and ‘accidental nudity?’ According to an article written by Melinda Tankard Reist:
“Players have to sign contracts agreeing to “accidental nudity”. There’s nothing accidental about it: flesh exposure is virtually guaranteed. The contract states: ” … Performances hereunder may involve accidental nudity. Player knowingly and voluntarily agrees to provide player’s service … and has no objection to providing services involving player’s accidental nudity.”
If they wear any additional items of clothing under the lingerie they will be fined $500. Apart from All Star matches, they are not paid. And they are at serious risk of injury. In fact, the league brags about all the injuries suffered by female players.
It is a mix of voyeurism and violence.”
Now – the most important point or argument put forward:
“But they’re doing it of their own free will.”
Are they? Really?
Well, yes, literally they are – but is the decision an educated one? If you think of the quote, “You can’t be what you can’s see” (Miss Representation), these women are products of what they’ve seen around them, as they’ve grown and developed, and now they’re simply making the image grow, as it tragically becomes ‘fashion’ or worse, the norm. It’s a growing emergency because the more girls and young women are ‘fed’ this image, the more they feel the necessity to join up…
…and don’t the guys just love that they do.
After all, human beings have that uncanny knack for doing things that may not be the best for them – especially it feels good. Right?
And this is where I need to state – quite emphatically – that I don’t begrudge people of their desires. But I need to ask:
Question #46: Where do we draw the line? Where’s the responsibility to our youth?
I believe these young women DO need our help – make it our responsibility, seeing as the men in power are only looking out for themselves – because these women haven’t had much else to model themselves on. They’re insecure of their worth and need validation. They’re told by men that they’re ‘hot’ – paid nothing (in most cases) – and are ultimately exploited.
I continue to be completely (and sadly) gobsmacked that this LFL was permitted to come to Australia. The presentation game is in Sydney in two and a half weeks, so please make sure you vote against this on Change.org:
I think there may even be two different petitions going. Sign them all!
Deep Breath everyone!
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![US_SOCIE(32)[1]](https://questionsforus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/us_socie321.jpg)
Facebook comment:
This ‘sport’ only exists to exploit women to service men’s desires.
This is a great post about The Lingerie Football League coming to Australia. Not only is this as sexist as it gets – they are enticing families to take the kiddies along. We must all stand up and say “NO” to this.
Deep Breath
x
Today’s Herald Sun featured an article by Australian women’s activist and www.collectiveshout.org co-founder Melinda Tankard Reist, reiterating all the reasons we should not let Lingerie Football League (LFL) come to Australia.
WHEN a man plays gridiron – or American football – he is dressed for maximum protection to ensure safety in a game known for its raw physicality. His body is covered, with little exposed flesh, to minimise injury.
It’s not the kind of game a man would consider playing in his underwear. That would just be dumb, right? But it seems rules are different if you are a woman playing for the Lingerie Football League (LFL). The less clothing the better. In fact, it’s a requirement of the game.
LFL is blatant sexualisation and sexism, while promoting violence towards near naked, physically unprotected women, with outrageous clauses for maximum boob and bum exposure with little or no pay and the whole…
View original post 312 more words
At the start of the week, I (and hopefully you) signed the petition against the Lingerie Football League.
Very late last night I signed the following petition:
Basically one of our high-profile AFL (Australian Football League) players, Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin (a ‘role model’), is part owner of the ‘fashion’ brand Nena & Pasadena – that includes the porn t-shirts I’ve featured in previous posts.
Collective Shout has started this petition, calling the AFL to action on this football player. This is some of the explanation on the petition:
The Australian Football League’s Respect and Responsibility Policy represents the AFL’s commitment to addressing violence against women and to work towards creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community. The Respect and Responsibility Policy is about shifting attitudes – ensuring that people throughout the Australian Football industry are aware, and have structures in place, that recognise that violence against women and behaviour that harms or degrades women, is never acceptable.
AFL player Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin is an owner and model for the Nena and Pasadena fashion brand, which designs porn-themed t-shirts, fosters misogyny and encourages rape jokes.
Franklin’s management has been quick to distance their client from the brand maintaining he is “a shareholder only”. However, Franklin deliberately uses his AFL profile to promote the company on countless websites and in the media and has self-identified as ‘owner’.
We want to tell the AFL that Franklin’s continued ownership and promotion of Nena and Pasadena is not consistent with the AFL’s Respect and Responsibility policy “creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community.”
I recently had a look at Nena and Pasadena’s Facebook Page and it asked of its followers: “How do you seal the deal? Best answer wins a t-shirt.”
I read the responses like – “I hope she can’t run faster than me down the alley way,” as well as some with references to rape and women being refered to as ‘bitches’ – and it made my stomach sink. These regular guys are out there and that’s how they feel about women. Thankfully it was reported and that comment feed has now been taken down.
Please sign! Every vote counts!
Deep Breath.
x
The following picture is of Franklin in one of his T-shirts:
Questions for Us 