Let’s talk about sex…
March 27, 2012
I need to start this post by saying that I’m SO embarrassed. When I checked the number of hits I’d had on Friday night, I failed to realise that it was a few minutes past midnight…hence why there weren’t any hits. FAIL. I must admit, though, that my brain was in the mushy stage by then, especially after the previous 24 hours. So all is good. *smile*
I also want to give an honourable mention to my BFF (who I met 35 years ago and has been a constant in my life ever since), for joining me on my mini-break. It was just the ticket. In just over a day together, we talked, did some shopping in the quaint, antiquey, Blue Mountains shops, saw The Three Sisters, drank, ate, laughed…and talked. We discussed our kids, our strength as mothers – our flaws – and gave each other support. I came away feeling peaceful and blessed. Thank you, Katy.
Now…
Sex.
As I usually do in discussions like this, I’m going to go ‘back in the day’, as it’s the only benchmark I have.
I remember in the 90’s, when I was in my 20’s, I used to buy Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines pretty regularly – it seemed to have everything a young and vibrant girl like me needed to know! *insert ‘wow’ face*
It was also designed to confuse the hell out of us, but hey….what’s new. We went from ads with skinny and gorgeous women modelling clothes, makeup and jewellery – to the harrowing story of the girl with anorexia – to “How to lose your tummy in 10 days!” exercise regime – to some story about loving a star’s new curves. Yep. Mixed message central.
And this was the era of no photoshopping! I know – hard to believe or imagine nowadays. If anything, at least they were selling us real women – unlike today where the women are practically digital.
So, yes, the core of what we’ve been ‘sold’ over the decades, hasn’t changed. What has changed, however, is the saturation of the current ‘look’ and the worst part is that our young girls are LAPPING it up.
What does this have to have sex? I hear you ask….
Well, in the same way that us girls have always been sold an image to conform to, now it’s being used to sell a ‘common’ sexual image – for men.
Back to Cleo and Cosmo for a moment. Along with all the above-mentioned features, there was always a section devoted to how to ‘catch a guy’ or ‘please your man’ – generally with ’10 ways’ to do it. Funny – I’m not sure what magazine is out there for the guys, with tips on how to please their woman…
…oh, that’s right, there isn’t.
Question #26: Why are women perpetuating the sexual image, that’s a male fantasy?
With the introduction of the internet, it seems that (again) there is one predominant image being splashed about in everything we see; young girls and women, dressing like they’re ready to go – and a lot of them are. A friend recently said to me that a young, male relative of hers told her how easy it is for a guy to end up with a girl, “without having to do anything.”
But the word that keeps rearing its head, is young.
You have ads, like the following, where child star Dakota Fanning, is looking a little more grown up, a little less innocent – and giving up her ‘flower’ to sell perfume…that’s sitting in her crotch.
This ad was banned in the UK.
Or there’s this 10-year-old in French Vogue…
It’s obviously not enough to target young women in their 20’s, through to teenagers, to make a buck – now, to feed the insatiable lust for making money, we need to start training our girls in Primary School. What leaves me dumbfounded, however, is that there seem to be A LOT of mothers behind the new trainees.
Please watch the following clip. It features Melinda Tankard Reist, the warrior fighting the sexual exploitation of our young girls. This link contains images of a dance show in America called, “Dancing Moms” and how girls as young as eight are doing a burlesque dance – with the ‘appearance’ of being topless.
Besides the disturbing fact that pedophiles just won – AGAIN – these girls are being trained to express themselves in a sexual manner – aged 8 – for ratings. There is nowhere else for these girls to turn, because as they start to grow and watch music videos and movies, there’s just more of the same:
- Girls looking and acting like they’re naughty girls – because that’s what men like,
- Girls who are willing to give sexual favours AND be good at it – because that’s what men like,
- Girls who ‘don’t want a relationship’, just sex – because that’s what men like.
Ever noticed that if there’s a soundtrack to represent sex – it’s just a female voice you hear moaning and panting? Never a man’s – because men don’t like that.
Deep down, girls don’t know how else to behave because they’ve been fed the same story from the start – your validation comes from your looks.
Girls can’t really get validation from their friends because girls/women secretly (deep down) compete with each other. So they turn to the men and in this competitive market, how else are girls/young women going to catch that boy’s eye, if it’s by not by giving him what he wants?
We’ve always been a confused bunch – navigating our way through everything that was thrust in our face – but now it’s a whole new ball game and it’s up to us, ladies, to start turning things around through education and protest.
x
No question today.
March 24, 2012
This is a quick post to let you all know that I’m still here…
A saddish day today – no hits. Not one.
Oh well…*shaking it off with a smile*
It has been a busy, busy, busy week – the usual running around for the family – volunteered yesterday morning to do some mail drop-offs; of my school’s flyers for Open Day tomorrow – got bad food poisoning yesterday afternoon – yucky, vomitty sick for a few hours – went to work today; on an excursion – back to school to ready my Drama Room for Open Day – came home to do the drop-offs I couldn’t do yesterday, with the girls – did two loads of washing – cleaned the pool (got chlorine on my good, black work pants and bleached them….well, that’ll teach me – D’oh!) and cleaned up the kitchen…
Why so much work, you ask? Well, it gets better.
My favourite part of today, was packing my bag because after attending Open Day for a few hours tomorrow, I’m off to the Blue Mountains for the weekend for some serious R & R; a mini-break, as Bridget Jones would say. This is the backyard:
Just what the doctor ordered. *you should see my grin*
Make sure you all make room to do something for yourself this weekend – That’s an order!
x
PS I have something to discuss with you (as usual! *wink*) after the weekend, so stay tuned…
What’s in a surname anyway?
March 19, 2012
This journey – writing the blog – has made me come to realise many things about how society, and in-turn my family, has raised and shaped me. I’ve reached moments where decisions I want to make for myself, are not as easy to make as I originally thought or simply can’t be made at all because – that’s the way it is.
It’s at these moments that I feel the most ineffectual and helpless – because ‘that’s the way it is’ means it cannot be changed.
Or can it?
This post is just looking at the simple issue of – what’s in a woman’s surname?
Main problem: As I mentioned in my previous post I was Suzie Home Maker, so when I got married I started the usual ‘procedure’ of changing my surname to my husband’s. Now, my parents had two daughters (yes, only token males to create more females in my family *wink*) so our maiden name ‘dies’ with my sister and me; and although she kept our maiden name when she got married – I knew the buck stopped with us.
Before children were even a thought, I kind of broached the subject with Hubby about our kids having my surname. His brother already has two sons that will keep their surname going – so I thought I’d give it a shot. No can do – because that’s the way it is and that was OK.
I remember that when I first signed my ‘new’ name, my sister saw me write it and said, “You’re not changing your name, are you?” and I replied that I didn’t want my (future) children to have a different surname than me.
Well, I don’t know now.
Two years ago, I had to officially change my surname to be able to get a new passport. When I finally got the certificate from Births, Deaths and Marriages with my husband’s surname as my own – I felt a tiny pang of ‘identity loss’ – even though it had been a LONG time since I had been using Hubby’s surname. Silly, I know – I guess it bothered me because it was so official.
It was then that I questioned the future for my daughters (well, all children really). If women are the ones who go through a pregnancy, give birth and are the primary carer for our babes in the early stages – if not until they leave home *wink* – then:
Question #25: Why don’t children carry their mothers’ surname?
1. There’s never a doubt about who the mother is – 2. She is the one who (generally) cares for the child, should the partnership dissolve – 3. Dad could take off – it doesn’t matter, that child will officially carry the father’s surname (unless changed, of course).
I know, I know – What can you do? Right? But it sits wrongly with me.
The reason this post has come up is because I decided I’m writing this blog under my maiden name. Although Hubby understands my reasoning behind it, his initial reaction seemed tinged with offence. I found that so interesting. None of us really seem to give much of a thought to our tradition of someone dropping the surname they’ve had their whole life for another – yet not using his surname on my blog seemed to hurt Hubby a little. But, like I said, he understands why I’m doing it and he never asked me to change my name when we got married – because I just went ahead and did it. Stuck to the tradition.
Funnily enough in my country of birth, Uruguay, (I was 3 months old when I came to Oz), your name stays the same regardless of marriage. You have two surnames – the first being your father’s and the second being your mother’s. That’s pretty cool – you have the same name your whole life. But the country that goes one step further is Spain – it’s like Uruguay, except you can reverse the order of the surnames to mother first and father second, under gender equity law.
We need us some gender equity law happening here! *smile*
Minor issue: Women shouldn’t have to announce whether they’re married or not – Ms should = woman, just as Mr = man.
Sounds fair, right?
But only we can make the minor changes – easily – before they can lead to bigger and better things.
I wonder if it’s a change that married women want…
x
Who are our girls’ role models?
March 16, 2012
A week or so ago, on the show The Project, they were discussing Pink Ghettos – places in the workforce where there are predominantly women (like Public Relations).
Firstly it addressed how it’s not good to have either sex feature predominantly in the workforce and secondly, it was looking at how it’s necessary for women to have good Maternity Leave – as it can mean the death of their careers, having to leave their job to care for the children. The irony was that the discussion was between a Joe Hockey (male politician) and Natasha Stott Despoja (former leader of the Democrats; and an awesome woman) – where HE was actually arguing that he knew what women wanted, more than the female, former leader of a party, with children sitting before him. I thought that was incredibly patronising. However, it generally seems that way; hardly the bat of an eyelid at the fact that a man is making the calls on what’s good for women.
The part that really had me gobsmacked, was that when Natasha was asked whether she had ever heard of Pink Ghettos, she said, “No, but Canberra is a pretty much a Blue Ghetto, with the amount of men that are there,” to which Joe Hockey replied, “I wish it were all blue.”
Yep. I bet you do, Joe.
Around the world, the average of women in parliament in 2007 was 18.3%* (couldn’t find anything more current – would love to know the figures today) and although the stats were a little better in Australia, it got me wondering WHY women are simply not up there at the top; in equal numbers to men – after all there’s a teeny bit more women than men worldwide.
Could it be that our girls have few aspirations to go for leadership roles (in many different areas) because it’s simply not modelled for them?
So, I thought I’d ask girls at my school, of different ages, who they look up to; who is an inspirational role model in their lives.
The first reaction was always the same – a long silence, looking up; trying to conjure up the faces of all the women out there who have impacted their lives.
One of the questions I was asked was, “Does it have to be a woman?” I gave her a cheeky ‘did-you-just-ask-me-that?’ look, as I didn’t know whether she was pulling my leg. She wasn’t. At the same time, what a telling question it was.
Even after I nudged them along with possibilities like singers, writers or personalities on TV…. a big portion of them said their mothers.
How wonderful. Or is it?
Hear me out.
I am a mother. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mum, since I can remember. I was quite young when I kept asking my mum questions about marriage and whether she minded if I got married a little bit earlier than she did. She was 24. I was Suzie Home Maker. My best friend and I used to actually talk about the days where we’d be in our own home, married and ironing our husband’s shirts. PALEEASE!
Now, although I went to uni and ticked all the boxes – my ultimate goal was to get married and have kids. And I did.
I was blessed with two, very strong, daughters who drive me insane – you know what I mean – but whom I believe I was destined to have.
As much as I know they will ultimately respect me as a mother – is it all I want for them?
Question #24: Is motherhood the only way we can model strong women?
I asked the students if they felt there were any unfair things their mothers might go through, because they’re women and there was a strong chorus of, “YEAH!”
Through our following discussion, it seemed clear that, besides their mothers, there really wasn’t much out there to inspire girls – and if there are great women out there (which of course there are) – why aren’t we seeing them as much as the plastic, doll-like versions of our sex?
Why is there such a dim spotlight being shone on intelligent and inspirational women?
All is not lost, though. One of my older students said Gail Simone was an inspiration to her. I don’t know about you, but I said, “Who?” When I looked her up, I saw that she is great – a graphic novel writer. Amongst other suggestions, a popular choice was the singer Adele. When I asked how Adele inspired them, they just LOVED that she truly is all about the music – not about making a caricature of herself.
A gorgeous, gifted woman – what. a. voice!
We HAVE to get more of a spectrum of strong, intelligent women to be visible.
Deep Breath
March 10, 2012
Looks like the last post hit a nerve with a lot of you…and there’s still so much more to explore.
A few years ago I set up a business (now on the back burner) and named it, “Deep Breath.” It was aimed at helping teens find more of an inner calm about the curve balls they (we) all pretty much get, throughout our lives. But we can respond, instead of react, to these obstacles. Something that’s easier said than done – with a lot of us – due to deeply entrenched behaviours and beliefs.
Many years ago, I went to one of those motivational courses and was amazed at how they got everyone SO ‘hyped’ up, chopping boards with your hands etc etc; where you find yourself leaving, full of adrenaline and ideas of how you’re going to turn things around in your life – to then arrive home, step through the door aaand straight back into ‘same-old, same-old.’ It was not long after that, that I started my small venture, with the opposite as its title – Deep Breath.
When you take a deep breath, you calm yourself. It’s a teeny, mini-meditation. Every time. There’s a saying – ‘When emotion goes up; Intelligence goes down.’ A lot of us are living in our emotions and we’re not stopping, taking a deep breath and thinking.
We are so intelligent, so why are we stuck?
A few of you left some comments from the last posting (these are some snippets):
Joy wrote: We live at levels beyond our years and possibly our means. We are geared to lives that have no let up. A return to less in everything is the key hard though it is.
Michelle wrote: (haven’t written because of) additional and unsustainable load of chaos for the last 2 months.
Christine wrote: how ridiculous I was….doing three things at once…. Trying to cram it all in while I had the chance.
We seem to be feeling this pressure, mainly at home, because that’s the time you’re together – as a couple – exploring a relationship and the life that comes with it. This home life should be shared – but generally isn’t. So why isn’t it equal in the home?
Question #23: Are we allowing men to take a back seat?
A colleague of mine is currently teaching her Advanced Yr 11 English class the following poem. I’m not a massive poetry fan (yes, even though I have taught quite a bit of English – it’s my least favourite form), but I did find it incredible that my colleague happened to mention this poem on International Women’s Day – one that so wonderfully encompasses what this post is about. The poem is by Aussie, Bruce Dawe and it was written in 1969…
——————————————————————-
up the wall
The kettle’s plainsong rises to a shriek,
The saucepan milk is always on the boil,
No week-end comes to mark off any week
From any other – something’s sure to spoil
The cloudless day. The talk-back oracle’s suave
Spiel, like the horizon, closes in,
Palming a hidden menace, children carve
The mind up with the scalpels of their din.
She says, “They nearly drove me up the wall!”
She says, “I could have screamed, and then the phone–!”
She says, “There’s no-one round here I can call
If something should go wrong. I’m so alone!”
“It’s a quiet neighbourhood,” he tells his friends.
“Too quiet, almost!” They laugh. The matter ends.
————————————————————————-
Can any of you relate to this poem?
Everything’s going on at once – the weeks and weekends blend together – the children’s noise is like a scalpel to the mind. She loudly voices her concerns.
The man talks of the quiet. He and his friends laugh…and the matter is closed.
I’m not suggesting that this is the only experience women have with their partners and children…but it’s not an uncommon feeling, is it?
To not be listened to or heard?
Deep breath.
If the poem is not your cup of tea (well, even if it is), the following 35 sec link puts a humorous spin to a situation we all know toooo well. *smiling, while shaking my head* (Just ignore the ad at the end – it was the best link I could find):
A writer named Ronna Detrick, has a post which suggests that there are parts of a woman’s life that are lived ambiguity. She says:
“Being a strong woman means that no matter what the ambiguity is about, that we still speak the truth; that we do not temper our words or our deepest emotions just to make someone else feel comfortable. That we speak kindly, graciously, winsomely – and honestly.”
So what can you do, to alleviate the amount of ‘work’ going on in your life – both mentally and physically? Does he need to step up?
Deep breath.
The strong, but stretched, women around me.
March 4, 2012
I found this a hard post to articulate… hence the gap since the last one.
When I first began this blog journey, I was SO nervous about this new world I’d entered and was questioning its dynamic at every turn – How many times a week should I be doing this? Will people drop off if I do less than two or three times a week? Are my stats good? Is anyone commenting? (finding it curious that the spam messages are about to overtake the number of messages sent to me!). All in all, a tad nervous.
I’m a full-time high school teacher – holding down four specific roles within the school – and a mother of two young girls. On a ‘normal’ week night, whether I cook or not, the ‘Me Time’ part of the evening doesn’t start until the chores – such as, cleaning up after dinner, getting everyone sorted for the next day (lunches for all, uniform, notes, sports clothes etc) and the never ending, girls’ bedtime routine, concludes – this is normally around 9pm. On some evenings, I would hop on the computer and start writing – shamefully admitting that I was more preoccupied with the blog than hanging with the Hubby. I then (always) get to bed late – around midnight (whether I write or not, for some reason, regardless of good intentions, I get to bed that late) – just to start over again at 6.30am. I find myself always telling my daughters how tired I am.
As I’m looking at my inability to ‘fit it all in’, I hear a few sobering stories from numerous girlfriends of mine and learn of their situations. All in the one week. It made me take a deep breath and conclude that we needed to strike a balance towards all this – and life in general.
BALANCE. It’s the key to everything.
Which brings me to the reason for writing this post. I hope that it gives justice to the women I want to write about……
Part two – Our Lot
Friend #1: I have a very close friend who confided in me – telling me how the pressures of her life are deeply affecting her. As she’s talking to me, I can see that, due to her wonderful sense of duty towards her family, she finds herself doing everything in her power to not let their problems affect her children (most importantly) and husband. Even as she’s talking to me, I can see how she doesn’t want me to worry either, as she speaks in an accepting, almost matter-of-factly manner, about her situation – even though it’s a gloomy one. I simply don’t know how she does it, holding her husband and three young children together.
But she does – and her family are so incredibly blessed to have such an inspirational and strong mother – however, it is affecting one person – her. She’s stretched to the limit.
Friend #2: In the same week, I spoke to another friend, who wakes up in tears every morning, due to a legal issue involving her husband. They’re a lovely family who stumbled onto some bad luck, and now find themselves facing a possible outcome, unimaginable a while ago, that would impact their family deeply, if it were to occur. This has been going on since last year and she – also – found herself holding it all together for everyone, especially her husband – but is now finding that she needs support too – she’s fraying at the seams.
Although these may seem, to some of you, as extreme stories, I know of SO many women – actual friends, not “I heard about this person, who’s a friend of a friend” – who are in a daily struggle to not only find balance for their families, but balance for themselves. It seems, however, that the pressure of finding that balance for the ones they love, means that many women are short changing theirs.
In this new, modern age of marriage and motherhood, women – AGAIN – seem to be taking the bigger piece of the responsibilities. If one is lucky enough to have a supportive partner in crime, one is also (hopefully) going to have a partner who shares the ‘chore’ load. Most times, however, even when the mother works full-time, the chores are still heavier on the female side. BUT let’s say, there’s equality on that front – it still appears the partner falls way short of equally sharing all the ‘worry’ that comes with their life.
As I mentioned earlier, my mind never seems to stop ticking with the million things that are bouncing around…well, there’s nowhere to bounce, actually – it’s all tightly crammed in there and ‘lo and behold!’, some things get forgotten. And don’t we feel a little guilt when we do? The pressure women find themselves under in retaining EVERYTHING that has to do with family and work can be suffocating at times because it’s unbalanced.
Question #22: Are women capable of finding balance in their lives?
Up until recently, I did both the washing for the family and the weekly shopping. As a full-time worker, the only time I could do it, was the weekend. As you can imagine, I started to become a little resentful at the fact that I wasn’t getting any break from work – whether it be a school or at home – because these two chores HAD to be done every weekend. I also didn’t want to ‘ask’ Hubby for help, at the risk of sounding like a nag – but if you don’t ask, how do you get the help?
This is why (I think) we are, where we are. Our lot.
But a few months ago I walked up to my husband and said, “Shopping or washing?” He chose shopping – again. See, we tried it a few years ago, but it still felt like I was in charge of it all, just not actually going to the shop, so we quickly reverted back to the old ‘system’. So I said, “But this time you’re the boss of it” and he accepted.
I tell you, it’s been great. It’s incredible how difficult it was at the start, to ‘let go’ (when you’ve always been in control…) – but relinquishing that big chore was just the ticket. I got a bit of the weekend back – a bit more balance to it all. *worth it*
Baby steps, right? Then BIG ONES!
PS Due to this reflection, I’ve decided to simply post once a week. Just the ticket *big smile*
This is how much of a girl I am…
February 27, 2012
What a weekend of mixed emotions I just had. Two unique experiences with myself and some of the women who were around me, which I’ll cover over two postings.
First up – The Silly Female Conundrum
I actually got to go to a party on Saturday Night. A 30th party. With my husband. And NO children! Yipeeeeeee!
The dress code was formalish, so we had to dress up. Cocktail dress was on standby.
There was one hurdle in my bid to look faaabulous…well, a small hurdle.
About ten days ago, I was with my year group (Yr 11) on our camp. We were hiking down a very steep ‘trail’ (if you could call it that), in the bush of the Blue Mountains – when I proceeded to sprain my ankle – stacked it – and fell like a sack of potatoes onto my front. It was a tad embarrassing in front of the kids. *Awkwaaaard* They were great, actually – but I reckon that my friends, however, would have CACKED, if they were there. It was not graceful. I have a giggle when I picture how I must have looked.
Joking aside, I did hurt my ankle, quite a bit. It’s now starting to dawn on me, that in my increasingly aging body *cough, cough*, injuries will take longer to heal – as this one is.
So on this night of glamour, I took off the strapping the physio had put on it, so that I could wear some sort of footwear that didn’t include thongs. The bummer was that I couldn’t wear heels – I had to wear flats with my cocktail dress. Noice.
What’s the big deal, right? Well, yes – it wasn’t a big deal at all – there was just that silly part of me that just thought, “Bum.”
OK, so all is good on the shoe front…well, as good as it can be – it looked a teeny weird – but, oh well – I get started on the hair and makeup.
“Why isn’t my hair sitting properly? Every time I do it, it sits right, why isn’t it sitting right now? I know, I’ll give it just a teeny sprinkle of hair spray. Yep, that’ll do the trick.”
We’re running late. I hurry things up. I survey the finished product – “Yes….yes….wait – why’s my hair gone flat? Bloody hairspray!”
Too late, we have to go.
Finally we’re in the car and on our way! Wooo Hooooo!! Just one final face check and I’ll be sweet. *Look in mirror* “Oh maaan – why did it not cross my mind to check my eyebrows before we left??”
You know that I’ve got another couple of ‘observations’ – but you well and truly get the idea. *Hanging my head in shame*
When we arrived, I scanned the room for the dear friend I was mainly going to see. I saw her and she was looking stunning (as usual) and I kept commenting to my hubby – what a gorgeous girl she is. Her smile lights up the room – just beautiful. When I told her I thought she looked great, she said, “Thanks, BUT…..”
And there she added her personal flaws.
Question #21: Why, oh why, do we do this to ourselves?
I honestly don’t notice other people’s ‘flaws’ because I see something brighter that overshadows everything; something deeper. That’s how I feel about all my women friends.
And I’m sure my friends feel the same with me. So if that’s true…why do we do it?
At the end of the day – with my unshaped eyebrows and gammy foot – I scrubbed up alright (and so did Hubby). All that silliness for what?
Am I on the right track?
February 21, 2012
Howdy all.
It’s been a few days since I last posted…where I used the scary word, ‘feminist’ in the title.
I was really hoping that this post would stir some reactions – anything really; a smiley face or a brief sentence telling me I’m off my rocker! But alas, it was not meant to be. For three days, I began to entertain serious doubt about what I was doing – was anyone reading?
On the fourth day, today, I got a comment – which brightened my somewhat gloomy disposition a lot. *Some hope*
I’m very new to all this, so it’s probably just due to the fact that I’m a newbie and that people don’t catch on to blogs until later – if they ever do.
But I have to say that I thought I would get more comments – albeit small ones – about the issues I’ve been raising.
Question #18: Are women afraid to voice their thoughts, in case someone may judge?
I understand the teeny prick of anxiety that comes with ‘putting things out there’ – believe me. Even some of the people I know are strangely silent about saying anything to me.
And that’s OK. Really. It’s just that I’m not sure what my fellow sisters are thinking about stuff going on in the world today, and more importantly, if they’re happy with the way things are at the moment – well, from my small perspective, anyhow. *shrug*
I truly believe we have incredible, intelligent, compassionate and inspirational qualities – which emanates a strength that can bring change. But only when we start to use our voice.
I’m willing to admit, though, that maybe it’s MY voice that’s not quite reaching you all the way I’d hoped – but hey, there’s nothing much I can do about that; so I shall continue onwards and upwards!
So, is ‘feminist’ a scary word? I don’t think so – just a wonderful sisterhood – who laugh, love and hold the world together, when they can.
With lots of love to you all. x
Feminist Shout Out! #1
February 17, 2012
I’m going to announce a Feminist Shout Out every time I put an observation that I think may not be your cup of tea…but I’m going to QUESTION it, anyway. I really hope you can let me know your thoughts – whatever they may be. Let’s talk. We can’t rely on our male-run governments to make all the decisions. Let’s make some here.
Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-California) is sending around this photo from the hearing on birth control today. She writes: “At @GOPOversight hearing right now 5 men are testifying on women’s health: http://yfrog.com/10wg35j #WhereAreTheWomen?”
Yes, WHERE? ? ?
Tonight, I walked in to find a movie on the TV about the Bra Boys (a surfing gang). I’m not really watching, but I look up and see violence – boys fighting boys, men fighting men. And it’s not Hollywood fighting, where the injuries don’t reflect what’s been done to them, but ugly, bloody, VICIOUS fighting. It was shocking to watch actual footage of the fights – because they were real. A 14 yr old member tells how he had a gun put down his throat, over him selling Ecstasy and other horrific accounts. 14.
AND THIS IS WHAT OUR WORLD IS.
Men fighting men. Men being violent with each other, demonstrating what seems to be the ONLY way to globally solve problems thus far – except they’re NEVER solved and create SUCH devastation – and they’re violent towards women. Most of us are lucky enough to have loving male partners, but look at how women are being violently treated by the MILLIONS every single day.
As Dr Phil says, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”
We vote men in. WHY? We need a different dynamic in our governments – we need A LOT more women in government, girls MUST be educated worldwide – they will tip the world back into balance. Instead of financing wars, let’s finance education.
But it’s still just about being in power and making an astronomical amount of money. Qantas will axe jobs to keep their SHAREHOLDERS happy. One man has a family to feed and has just lost his job – while the other makes a mint….but he’ll just make less of a mint. Yep, let’s side with the guy that already HAS a lot of money.
Our world is a boys’ club.
Is this OK with you?
We still don’t have equal pay, all the major corporations in the world are run by men, and our young girls AND boys are being corrupted to satisfy the male fantasy – to make money. More people are becoming morally corrupted and we’re allowing this lesson to be present in our children’s pop culture. They’re becoming consuming monsters and they’re consuming over-sexualised girls, violent, bullying boys – with girls who think that’s ok etc. etc…and this is just in the developed world.
The women in the developing countries are suffering atrocities we can barely imagine and they NEED OUR HELP. We need to educate their girls so they can STAND UP and start to create change.
We need to create change – from our end. We must get women into government. It starts here – in Australia. It’s inconceivable that we continue to follow The US. That place is a cesspool of greed, gluttony and porn. And men run that country. That’s not saying there aren’t good people there – I’m sure they’ll follow us once we take the lead! We start here because we are intelligent and we know that it’s time to make our calm but persistent voice heard.
Calm and Persistent Voice.
Stop buying from shops, like City Beach, for selling pornographic products aimed at children (for example). Let them know you’re not shopping there anymore through their Facebook page – most have them. Money talks. Sometimes they listen – because they’re losing money. Let’s put our money to good use, rather than feed the monster, and be happy.
Get women into government.
I have a proposal: Vote women in from the party of your choice. There’s always going to be debate – but our current parliament meetings are run like men – fighting and insulting each other. WHAT IS THE POINT? Let’s just do it!
What have we got to lose?
Question #17: WHAT SAY YOU?
Please pass this on. With much hope. x
Some funny self reflection…
February 17, 2012
I want you to come on a small journey and see some of the ‘demons’ I face with my appearance – being a woman.
Sometimes when I’m on the phone, I have to escape the kids and hide away in my bedroom – to be able to have a conversation in peace –“Muuuuumm”. Many times, I catch sight of myself in my bedroom mirror, and when the lighting is juuust right…I see a crone. Yep, a crone. *recoil and scrunch up face – stop it, that’s more lines!*
When did I get so old? Let’s see what other things I see…
Now, I have good legs – but what’s that droopy sort of skin above each knee that seems to want to start heading south all of a sudden? Is there any such thing as a knee lift? *smirk* I would never get one – but was actually wondering…
I’ve had humans exit my body – as most women I know have – and we all have to carry around that lovely added extra around the stomach. Like growing said human and have it come out, wasn’t ‘reward’ enough! And who can forget that charming phrase “muffin top”, that seemed to be a regular word tossed around at Mothers’ Group. Are guys refered to as having muffin tops?
“Nine months to put on, nine months to take off, ladies!” Jeez, the pressure! I always felt a secret resentment of any article that pointed out how quickly a star took off the baby weight, 10 minutes after giving birth, stating the marvels of breast feeding. What-EVA! She who has a personal trainer and chef at their disposal. My first baby sucked my milk like a crazy person and it actually made me eat MORE, than when I was actually pregnant…couldn’t help it…my body thought I was still eating for two. I felt jipped.
There’s the little flap of skin that’s appeared under my chin. Has anyone else got that? How quickly is that one going to progress? I don’t want to look like turkey anytime soon, thank you very much…and yet – there it is.
Boobs. What can I say. I remember watching the series, ‘Mad About You’ (loved that show) and there was this great sequence of scenes, when the lead character, Jamie, was in labour. All the women in her life were sitting in her hospital room with her, as her husband wasn’t there yet. They were giving out advice when the issue of breasts came up. Her mother said to her, “You’ll be fuller breasted, dear.” She nods. Her sister-in-law then states factually, “Yes, but eventually they look like a couple of empty gym socks.” Hahaha! Classic. Well, I won’t say mine are a couple of empty gym socks just yet, but they do like to look at my feet more often – when ‘unassisted’. *wink*
Finally, my hair. I’ve had long hair my whole adult life, but an accident at the hairdressers saw that change a few months ago. I went in for a trim with a few long layers. What actually happened was my hair ended up being hacked with a plethora of instruments, including a razor, and ended up looking like Carol Brady with a mullet. So bad. The only solution was to cut off the mullet – and ended up with short hair. I don’t mind it BUT I didn’t want to look like a woman who had made that, “Oh, I’m over forty now, so I better cut a mummy haircut”, decision. Plus it looks the same every day. I miss my ponytail. But then, everyone has long hair. Do I grow it?
So here’s my comparison with guys – I’m pretty sure they don’t agonise over their appearance as much as we do, because we love them anyway. They can put on weight, lose their hair, get very wrinkley – it’s the common image in the media – men can look however they like and will always be accepted.
And our guys love us too, when we start to get out of shape and grow older – don’t they? I guess that on the whole they do, BUT I know of a few stories within my circle of friends where the male partner has left, for a younger woman. If I know a few – surely you know a few. Therefore, is it more common than we think? Can we say the same of women who leave their men for younger versions? Probably not. I think that, even though I can look good for my age – a younger guy would see the middle-aged oldie I really am.
Hey, that’s OK – I don’t need that validation from younger men – as I’m sure you don’t either (only women in the public eye seem to be butchering themselves to look ‘younger’) – but what is it with us?
Question #16: Why are women SO obsessed with looking younger? Can’t we just reward each other for looking the best we can for our age?
Questions for Us 