Without women…Just sayin’ – #8
August 11, 2012
A short post…although I’ve had trouble posting it. Sorry if it keeps reappearing – this should be it.
Now to the issue at hand…
I can’t believe a woman agreed to pose for this shot.
This shot.
Being violently grabbed – violence being represented in three ways – by a fully dressed man.
Dominated.
She’s nobody. Nothing. Invisible.
Inferior.
So demeaning.
…and yet it’s glamorised with her smoking!
A casual way to spend the evening, perhaps?
What exactly does she get out of this?
Money?
At what price?
More importantly, what did she teach him?
So it comes down to this:
Question #81: How are we supposed to rise above our situation, when women like this continue to participate in promoting our exploitation?
Worse still, they’re becoming more and more mainstream. Just look at your TV. Or your Facebook Timeline. The following is an ad that appeared on a female friend’s Timeline:
Without women…(you complete the sentence).
…Just sayin’
Deep Breath
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Screening of ‘Miss Representation’
August 2, 2012
I know that there are possibly only a small number of you who actually live in Sydney or thereabouts, but I’ve secured the license to screen the documentary:
Miss Representation
It’s on Monday 3rd September at 6.30pm and it will only cost $20 pp. This covers the cost of the license and the wonderful venue, Dendy Cinema Opera Quays – near the Opera House!
A pretty amazing deal, I think!
This is a great opportunity for parents to see the effects popular culture is having on both our girls AND boys. It also explores the under-representation of women in positions of power and influence in America, and challenges the media’s limited portrayal of what it means to be a powerful woman.
Spread the word!
If you, or any people you know, are interested in coming along, just look at the comments to this post, as it tells you how to pay to secure a seat.
I hope to see you there!
Paula
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Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!
July 24, 2012
What IS the world coming to?
We recently had a new ad campaign, start airing here in Australia. It’s played later on in the evening when the kidlets are in bed – with a naked girl (with all her naughty bits covered with strategically placed white-as-the-driven-snow flowers) – talking about liners for ladies’ underwear.
The girl factually describes how wonderful the body is and how it works for us – and that for women, there are times where the discharge we get between our periods, is the body’s way of keeping the vagina healthy.
Vagina.
There it is! A part of the anatomy that more than half of the planet has. So what’s the big deal, right?
Well, it’s just incredible the hoo-ha (and no, I’m not writing an alternative word for the vagina…hahaha!) that’s come about from the actual word being used. On the The Project, I saw Steve Price (57) ask the ad’s spokeswoman on the show, why such a vulgar term was being used. The woman’s eyes widened and she looked a bit like a rabbit in headlights for a second, at the ridiculousness of the question – but answered, “Because…that’s what it’s called.”
Interestingly, though, when she continued with the sentence, she actually hesitated a fraction before saying ‘vagina’ herself, in a more hushed tone.
Hmmm…
Recently in America, a US politician, Democrat Lisa Brown, was banned for saying ‘vagina’ in the abortion bill debate. If you can’t say it here, when can you exactly?
Question # 77: Do you find it hard to say vagina? What about to your kids?
I don’t know about you, but ‘front-bottom’ never sat well with me…
But as advertising specialist and creative director of Jara Consulting, Jane Caro said – it was time to ”call a vagina a vagina”. Click here for full article.
Well ladies, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to use it whenever possible! See how many people flinch…I know, it’s the simple pleasures.
Hee heeeee!
PS – I think it’s curious that an ad with the word ‘vagina’ is deemed more inappropriate than the PG rated The Shire showing fickle women showing their quite-exposed fake boobs, a botox procedure, blatant vanity…at 7.30pm. Quite.
Deep Breath.
x
Just look at this image…
July 20, 2012
Lily Munroe – a friend I have made through this blog (and has a like-minded blog herself: freedomfrompornculture) – found the following, A-MAZ-ING image, after reading my last post:
Question #76: Do you think this is what’s happening?
I do…
and I’m finding myself getting a little alarmed.
Deep Breath.
x
Don’t make them right!
July 20, 2012
In lieu of the recent discussion about ‘quality’ television, it made me question what we’re becoming as an audience.
The general response, by the people who defend shows like, The Shire or Jersey Shore etc. etc. etc. is, “It’s so bad, it’s good!” or “It’s just for a laugh!”
But when pushed for an articulate explanation as to what it is they ‘like’ about it or how it’s funny…there is only the sounds of crickets.
That’s because there is nothing they can say about the tripe they’re watching – in fact, some of them explain with an, “I dunno, it just is.”
Yet they’re popping up everywhere. Why? Because it’s what the creators and producers think we want.
Is it?
Well, the tragic part is that it does appear to be what the masses want. I’m sure there will be many people glued to their seats, watching the next gripping and exciting installment of their favourite show of ‘tacky and fickle’.
Are they in the majority?
We appear like a nation of dumb and mindless, when these sort of shows are afforded our attention…and they gain ratings.
Question #75: Is there no sense of pride – knowing that we appear so easy to dupe?
This INFURIATES me because thanks to this perception, a lot of us are being held to ransom, as the choices of what to watch – for entertainment – are so limited.
Worse still, people are making money off it. Your attention = money.
We need to be more frugal with who gets our attention because at the moment, it appears that when a ‘carrot’ with big boobs is dangled – we follow – like children behind the Pied Piper.
Or we say nothing.
A few years ago, when I was on an excursion with students, I noticed that there was a new energy drink in the shops, called Pussy.
I talked to the students in my year group about seeing this drink. I told them of how I imagined the guy who thought it up – thinking about how he would get rich – he himself imagining guys saying to each other, “I’m going to drink some Pussy!” *HawHawHaw/SnortSnort*
I said to them, “Don’t make him right! Do not give him a cent!”
I urge you to think the same way about what’s being dished out and sold to us as being ‘popular’. Step back and take a look at the core of what’s being sold.
In these sorts of shows, the message that keeps hammering us over the head – on BIG screen TVs across the country – is that young women are not worth our attention, if they don’t have a certain type of vanity attached to their behaviour. This can manifest itself in a spectrum of ways – through clothes, make-up, plastic surgery, conversations, ACTIONS! – and the guys?…well, I didn’t see much about them in the first episode of The Shire – it mainly focused on those girls – and I don’t intend to watch anymore to find out either. My brain cells are still recovering from the first encounter.
So, what sort of audience member are you?
Don’t you want – DESERVE – something better?
Deep Breath
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Feeling a bit ineffectual.
July 12, 2012
I got together today with some very dear friends of mine. We took our kids to the park to play, while we caught up. Towards the end of the ‘play date’, it was just Katy and me, and we were having a chat about a lot of things relating to our lives as women and mums. Of course, I always end up talking about the stuff I want to write about and I told her how I can’t keep up with the things that pop up in the world that incense me or inspire me.
I feel like the things that incense me, though, are the ones I need to tell everyone about. I guess I feel like if I don’t, people won’t realise the extent of our global problems and if they don’t know, they can’t do anything about it. And we need to, don’t we?
Today I’m feeling a bit bummed and low about it all, actually. I’m feeling overwhelmed.
In the last couple of days I have heard about:
- A comic in America making rape jokes at The Laugh Factory. Shit.
- Domino’s Pizza in the U.S. thought it would be a riot to have a new campaign titled, “No is the new Yes.” Another rape joke. Full article here
- I read an article about hardcore porn which says:
“…that hardcore porn (called “gonzo” by the industry and fans) is now mainstream on the Internet, that choking with a penis, slapping, hair pulling, and verbal abuse is the norm. The producer is horrified to hear that women in porn suffer repeatedly from rectal prolapse (because of pounding anal sex), and get diseases such as clamidia of the eye, gonorrhea of the throat, and fecal throat infections (because of the ATM act in which the penis goes from the anus to the mouth without washing).” Full article here.
Choking with a penis. For fuck’s sake.
- A woman was executed – shot in the head repeatedly, in Afganistan accused of committing adultery, while a hundred or so men watched and cheered. One comment on the YouTube Reuter’s report was, “These bitches deserved it. They were sluts!!!” …so there are obviously more than this one woman (of course). So where are the consequences for all the male ‘sluts’ in Afganistan?
I actually wept when I saw this report.
The above was just in the last few days (and there were more – but you get the gist). Then there’s the following:
- Women – and more catastrophically, girls – are being sold and trafficked as sex slaves. It’s abhorrent:
What can be done for these women and girls who live a life of actual, pure hell? I can’t imagine how, when the world seems so disinterested.
-
And here at home? In the ‘developed’ world, women and girls are sold a cookie-cutter image to aim for. That simple.
Why? Because money makes the world go around and we need our women, who carry the weight of consumerism, to BUY!
How can it be done? Create an unattainable image for most and therefore create self-hatred and loathing – splash it EVERYWHERE – make it fashionable – provide make-up, clothes, hairstyles (that all cost more than the male equivilants) – and then sit back (count your billions) and just watch women kill themselves over it.
Body and soul destroying.
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Women have, without exaggerating, microscopic representation in the running of things on the entire PLANET, yet we make up half the population.
On top of that, it’s an insult to ANY man, after all, to have female traits – “You run like a girl; You’re not crying like a girl, are you?” And ten million other such insults.
Question #71: So how can we ever be seen as equals, when everything we are about and how we perseve, is considered sub-standard?
So here I am – feeling like the ache in my heart can’t quite take it. It practically seems hopeless.
The worst part is that there are people who continually test my claim that I’m not anti-male. I’m quite tired of it. My stance is simple:
Women victims of violence, rape, assault, prostitution, sexual trafficking – due to men. Period. And it’s horrific.
Women victims of inequality in the ‘developed world’ – due to decisions made by men…BUT to an extent, with our consent. Both playing a part.
We need to band together – women AND men dammit! – to start saying, “No, that’s not right!” – REGARDLESS of how long it’s been going on for or when the statement, “It’s how it’s always been,” enters your head.
Question #72: What’s the point of history and evolving, if we’re not prepared to make changes for the better??
Enough of the ‘women against men’ stance and visa versa. That’s not what I’m about (for the millionth time).
What’s the point of fighting me? How am I affecting the world for the worse by pointing out the countless ways women are being exploited worldwide? My journey is about us taking action together to get rid of the patriarchal world, run by a select few.
Deep melancholy breath.
x
An important question for men and women. Equally.
July 9, 2012
I have a two-parter today. Women need to see this – but I really need to get some thoughts from the guys’ end of the fence. Unfortunately, what I’d really like, is to hear some young men’s perspectives, but I doubt they read this blog – so, seeing as you older lads know what’s going on inside a male’s mind, I’d love your opinion AND input as to how we can change things around.
Firstly there is a short going around, similar to Miss Representation, but instead looking at how the sexualisation of the current culture, is developing our future men:
There’s a question in the piece that asks:
“So where do guys get the idea that women are play things, eye candy and sexual objects for our enjoyment?”
As the question is being asked, a scene from a movie is shown, where a stream of attractive women walk in – dressed in lingerie – who then all bend over in front of a male who’s stunned, while the other, Adam Sandler, directs the girls to do it.
So degrading. As a woman, it’s hard to watch.
“The answer is, quite honestly, everywhere.” – they say.
True. It is. It’s at saturation point.
BUT!..and this is where I repeat that I’m not anti-male – you can’t have a stream of women bending over…WITHOUT WOMEN. Without their consent.
So, if our girls are lining up to pander to this heterosexual male fantasy (porn) behaviour and look:
Question #69: What are we, as a society, doing to instigate this?
Can it be changed? Pulled back a notch? Can we (you) stand up and do something to help gain some control of this spiralling problem?
OK – Part two.
A 20-something year old guy started a ‘bed of shame’ idea on Twitter, getting guys to take photos of themselves next to the woman they’ve spent the night with. Click here for article. It was so popular over the weekend – inundated with photos – that he’s doing it again. Filth.
Question #70: What do men think about the accessibility and ease guys have, to be able to do this to women?
I know what I think about all of this – and I’m sure you have a sense of what I think too…but what do YOU think? About any of it.
Is there a solution?
Leaving it with you.
Deep Breath.
x
Beauty.
This is certainly a contentious issue – I mean, there’s that age-old, cliched question – what is beauty?
What I find interesting and incredibly frustrating is that in the current paradigm, we live in a society that rewards and reveres FAKE.
…and there’s NO way around it – in every single way, fake beauty is what we strive for.
WHAAAAT??
Studies show that we are a clever gender – I’m always pushing this point, actually – but in this massive DOOSEY of an issue, that dictates our gender’s life, we are simply stupid.
STUPID.
We do as we’re told by feeding into what media and popular culture dictate is beautiful and we exercise the self-hatred of our looks and bodies, like good little girls – something that industries perpetuate and thrive off .
How lovely that there are a few people out there who are living a disgustingly, greedy life – by sucking on the jugular vein of women’s insecurities like vampires.
But at the risk of sounding repetitive ladies, the vampire can’t suck as easily as he does without us running up and presenting our neck for feeding!
Am I victim of this? YES!! Of course I am. I feel MUCH better about myself (and subsequently started looking better) than I did than when I was younger, but in essence, I have been conditioned to feel this way, as generations of women have – but now it’s getting ugly…no pun intended! I simply wasn’t exposed to what girls are being besieged with today. But I bet I felt what they do now.
As I’ve also said before, I use makeup, I most certainly use a bra and I shave my legs and armpits. I like to wear nice clothes (when I can get out of the house! Haha!) and appear attractive.
But this is where things get complicated…what is attractive? What is beautiful?
Most importantly – to both men and women – what is the MEDIA telling you is beautiful?
Answer? ONE look – with all its fickle, attached connotations that go with that look. That is all.
There is NOTHING real out there, girls! ALL the images of women in magazines (as we all know) are airbrushed / altered / tweeked etc. etc. etc.
ALL.
Let’s take a look at the most ineffectual woman (and one of the richest) on the planet: Kim Kardashian – well she’s effectual for me to make this point, I suppose.
Although on one hand we’re told that ‘curves are great!’ etc. etc. Snore. Snore. – the images we’re presented with, are quite a different story.
Now, if we look at these images of Kim, we can see that she has been ‘shaved’ of her total ‘booty’/thigh area by quite a bit. All unsightly (cellulite) bumps quickly taken care of. TICK ! Yes, embrace your curves!!…just not that much…
Her ample bosom has also been ‘shaved’ on the side because we don’t want any of that ‘side-boob-hangin’-out-under-the-armpit’ crap – just bountiful, lifted, straight-out-the-front breasts. TICK!
Her skin has even been made lighter. TICK!
Now, this is the part that gets my goat:
Firstly – IF, by today’s definition, Kim encompasses everything that is beautiful – why does she need tweeking?
Secondly – Why is someone so fake even considered beautiful to start with?
The enigma to me is that we know she probably has some cellulite issues and we know that there are probably some rolls in there and…
…what’s wrong with that?
It’s Kim the gimmick I have a problem with because if she were just any other girl with a normal amount of make-up on and regular clothes – we would probably ostracise her look. You know it’s true…and yet, to add insult to injury – the faker she is, the more we throw money at her.
So many women in the spotlight have succumbed to the pressure of having one look – plastic and fake – and why shouldn’t they? when a) they won’t get ‘hired’ – especially after they hit the “You don’t look so young anymore” ceiling AS WELL and b) the minions (us) keep shouting, “You are SO BEAUTIFUL” to them.
This is where I have to tell young girls (especially) to put their thinking caps on.
1. Media (in conjunction with big business – a marriage made in money) create female insecurity, by saying, “Look this way!” Period.
2. It’s then us women who fill in the blanks with…”or be ugly/die alone/ be a failure/be unlovable…” etc. etc.
Well it can end today ladies, with a simple shift of thought. Eleanor Roosevelt said:
“Noone can make you feel inferior – without your consent.”
Without your consent.
Predominantly, you feel the way you do because it’s what’s been entrenched in your psyche – yes – but ultimately it’s your CHOICE.
We are in a Catch-22 situation that is VERY hard to get out of, in this day and age, because of the easiness of creating false images.
We then buy, buy and BUY into this mono-image that’s popular and in turn, feed the monster.
The men at the top say, “Hey! It’s what the ladies want.”
Question #66: Is it?
Yes, at this stage I think it is. We’re creating and driving it along.
We can either want and strive for the unattainable and EXPENSIVE-to-uphold, image or feel shit about ourselves. Well, we certainly don’t want to feel shit, so let’s see if we can buy ourselves out of feeling this way. And we certainly do try.
STUPID.
What you’ll pay on the Carbon Tax will pale in comparison to what you (may) already pay on attaining society’s perception of ‘beauty’.
Don’t hear much complaint to our government about how society is moulding our daughters to be hyper-sexualised, insecure consumers with an INSATIABLE appetite…
Deep Breath.
x
A question for men – #3
July 3, 2012
Just a quick observation.
I was watching The Project last night and one of the stories was about an annual competition here on the east coast of Australia:
The Face of Origin…
…for The State of Origin, of course.
As usual, the women all looked the same – long hair, lots of make-up and fake tan, little amount of clothing etc. etc. Snore. Snore.
I actually wonder how the guys pick the ‘winner’ out of the bunch…eeny, meeny, miney, mo?
Anyhoo, that’s just one angle – the obvious one – but here’s my question to you:
Question #65: Why can’t the ‘Face of Origin’ be a guy?
It’s a $20,000 prize.
Twenty THOUSAND dollars!!
So why can’t it be a guy? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a guy represent the ‘face’ of Rugby League?
With that sort of money – I was curious as to what you thought…
Deep Breath.
x
Feeling the strain, mums and dads?
June 29, 2012
A few months back I wrote a post about the balance (or lack thereof) in our lives called – The strong, but stretched, women around me.
Recently I went through – and to some degree, am still going through – a very rough patch with myself, especially in regards to my daughters.
A lot of tiredness from work – both in my place of employment and at home – coupled with less patience and a shorter fuse, meant that things weren’t good.
And the GUILT.
Every time I faltered, I saw any efforts made to change things around (because it had to start with me), go down the toilet.
But my mind is just SO. FULL. It is a rare moment where there isn’t something to organise…coordinate…remind…do…
…and from talking to friends of mine, of both sexes, there are a lot who are struggling for some meaning to it all because of how hard it seems to be at times.
In these more desperate moments, I have found myself stepping back and looking at how our society is structured and wondering how (or if) it’s contributing to all this.
Our society is pretty archaic. It hasn’t evolved much.
We have, in essence, been living the same sort of life for decades and besides some changes here and there – like there being more women in the workforce now – we are inherently still chasing the same sort of dream or blueprint to ‘happiness’ as past generations – go to school, get a job, buy a car, buy some type of housing, get married, have kids…and start all over again.
Which lends itself to make us question why we keep repeating the same ‘type’ of life, time and time again.
Even our school system, based on the 50s, hasn’t changed. In a YouTube video called Did You Know?, it states that:
“The Top 10 in-demand jobs in 2010…did not exist in 2004. We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t exist yet…using technologies that haven’t been invented…in order to solve problems we don’t even know are problems yet.”
It’s gobsmacking, when you think about how technology, jobs and skills are growing at the speed of light – while we obsess about whether our child will ever be a success if they struggle with English, Maths and Science. Watch this following clip about our education system – it will blow you away:
So we’re in a circular, Groundhog Day, style of life that we pretty much pass on to our kids, with a few tweeks here and there.
Question #64: Is it possible to gain the right balance for both women and men in the important areas of our lives?
The following article: A Million Women Are Reading This, is absolutely fantastic!
I think it challenges us to think about the issues that affect all men and women, and whether it’s possible to change for the better – a change that matches the world we currently live in, not one from decades ago, when the decisions of ‘how life should be’ were made.
I’ve touched on a lot of the issues in this article, throughout my posts.
What do you think?
Deep Breath.
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Questions for Us 