The Shire
July 17, 2012
I will be brief as most of Australia has heard of nothing else but this all day.
Last night The Shire aired its first episode.
I literally have no words to explain the levels of ‘wrong’.
Many people from the area are incensed that it’s not an accurate depiction of ‘how it is’ there and then I have a colleague at work who knows which high school one of the girls went to…and it wasn’t in ‘The Shire.’
Oh well, big deal. So the creators are deceiving us – what’s new?
I only have one MAAAAJOR problem with this show and that is how young women are being portrayed.
One of the ‘duo’ (pictured below) did NOTHING but talk about spray-tans, big lips, being thin and botox – with her sidekick. She also convinces her friend to get botox in her forehead…which we see get done. The response? “Is that it? That didn’t even hurt!”
It was like an ad.
By the way, the breasts she’s so subtly pushing out in the image below, were pretty much ‘in your face’ throughout the episode.
Many people in the public were responding to the show by saying how terrible it is that these girls are being judged for how they look. In general, I tend to agree. There are many women who embody similar attributes and attitudes and many more who don’t and we should all be accepted as we are…BUT…
…how can one NOT judge these women about their looks, when the producers not only picked THREE of the main female characters to appear obsessed with their fake appearances – it was, in fact, ALL they talked about. What else are we going to discuss about them – their witty banter?
We have entered a sad time of ‘entertainment’ when such ineffectual people are being glamorised on the screen, for our children to absorb. And they ARE absorbing everything they see.
Question #74: Aren’t we sick of it yet?
What do our daughters have to look up to, when nowadays women have to look hyper-sexualised and self obsessed to become ‘famous’?
Where’s the balance of the other 95% of wonderful women out there to model for our children?
This show, besides all that, is manufactured tripe and should really be boycotted. Don’t you want money and sponsorship spent on something better to put on the telly?
Deep Breath.
x
Ready, Fire, Aim!
July 16, 2012
I have taken a very deep breath and after my off-loading in the last post, I found the second wind I needed from all the wonderful support and great conversations – both online and with friends and family around me.
I still feel the same way as I did in that last post – but now it’s from a clearer and calmer position – and much less overwhelmed as I did a few days ago.
Let’s get to it.
Ready, Fire, Aim!
I heard these words at a professional development day at my school recently – the words of James Nottingham, an educator from the UK.
Our principal said these words – this formula – as a way to inspire positive change in what we do as teachers and I think they’re awesome.
The idea is that we fire – to just do – see how it goes and then readjust our aim. Otherwise we just keep sitting in the same situations waiting for the perfect solution to manifest itself, without trying it out first.
Nothing effective in that.
How are we supposed to get things right, if we’re not willing to try something different? Again, I can hear the voice of Dr Phil making its way through the haze, imploring us to think…”How’s that working for ya?”
I hear MANY women and mothers complain about the state of certain affairs – in everything, mind you, not just in this feminist realm – but that’s all they do…talk about it to each other.
Well, I’m here to say that we can all make small change in one of two ways (or both!):
- Raise your voice and/or
- Choose who gets the benefit of your money.
Just Fire!
To a lot of you, the story I’m about to tell, may not raise any eyebrows and may put your ‘care factor’ at zero. But I care and I think it’s the subtleties like the following, that most people just accept – and we really shouldn’t.
When lines are tentatively crossed, the perpetrators will see what the reaction is – but when there is no reaction or opposition (which seems to be the way of things) – they just draw another line further along and cross it again.
On Saturday night – at 6.30pm – the wonderful, The Sound of Music was on TV and, although I had seen in a gazillion times throughout my youth, I thought it’d be lovely for the girls to immerse themselves in its legendary and geeky glow. How can we forget Liesl going, “Weeeeeeeeeeee!” after her first kiss! It was also cool to see that they already knew some of the songs, even though they hadn’t seen it before…
…and then the commercial break.
We have a new series that’s about to start in Australia called, The Shire – looking at life on the southern beaches of Sydney – through the eyes of a select few, young (of course) adults. It looks like an attempt to do a tacky, Australian version of, Jersey Shore. For anyone from overseas, these are the sort of shorts we’re seeing in the lead up to its inception – Click here – along with the classy promo shot at the end.
So, now you’re starting to see the full picture – one moment we’re all singing along to,”Doe, a deer, a female deer…”and I’m telling my girls that their aunt has pictures of the actual glass gazebo, where Liesl and Rolf sing and dance – and the next we’re assaulted with the image of a blond, heavily made-up girl, referring to herself as a princess, saying:
“I’m so preeeety.”
Worse still there are two girls with little clothing on, in another version of the ad, describing how they don’t like the natural look – with one of them saying:
“I love looking fake – if you weren’t born with it, buy it.”
Well, as far as I know, NOONE is born ‘with it’ – ‘it’ is manufactured – but thank you for getting in my daughters’ ears with this crap.
If there were a visual of me desperately trying to find the remote and change the channel, you’d have a right laugh. But it was what I had to do – because the brain takes an imprint of everything it sees and I simply don’t want my girls seeing this same image of women, over and over again.
And it’s everywhere. It’s exhausting. Even ‘my choice’ not to watch the show is taken from me because (at least here in Australia), the ads are practically half the episode…a slight exaggeration, but you get the drift.
Simply, what’s been made painfully clear to me, is that my kids literally CANNOT watch anything on TV because these ads were not age appropriate – a family movie coupled with ads of spoilt, fake, over-made up and fickle young adults. It really pissed me off.
So now I fire.
- I am complaining to Channel 10. What will come of it? I don’t exactly know, but I do know that when there are enough complaints, the Advertising Standards Board will investigate the issue it’s being presented with.
- I will boycott this show.
Question #73: Can you imagine the effect if everyone did one or both of the above?
People power.
I know that speaking up is not for everyone – but there are always ways to show you’re not happy…especially through your wallet.
If you don’t buy it – there isn’t a product to sell. If noone’s watching, investors will lose money and hopefully learn that they’ll have to back a different kind of show next time.
Simple really.
So if you don’t like a situation – whatever it is – just Fire! Aim later.
Deep Breath
x
PS Just look at the difference…
Feeling a bit ineffectual.
July 12, 2012
I got together today with some very dear friends of mine. We took our kids to the park to play, while we caught up. Towards the end of the ‘play date’, it was just Katy and me, and we were having a chat about a lot of things relating to our lives as women and mums. Of course, I always end up talking about the stuff I want to write about and I told her how I can’t keep up with the things that pop up in the world that incense me or inspire me.
I feel like the things that incense me, though, are the ones I need to tell everyone about. I guess I feel like if I don’t, people won’t realise the extent of our global problems and if they don’t know, they can’t do anything about it. And we need to, don’t we?
Today I’m feeling a bit bummed and low about it all, actually. I’m feeling overwhelmed.
In the last couple of days I have heard about:
- A comic in America making rape jokes at The Laugh Factory. Shit.
- Domino’s Pizza in the U.S. thought it would be a riot to have a new campaign titled, “No is the new Yes.” Another rape joke. Full article here
- I read an article about hardcore porn which says:
“…that hardcore porn (called “gonzo” by the industry and fans) is now mainstream on the Internet, that choking with a penis, slapping, hair pulling, and verbal abuse is the norm. The producer is horrified to hear that women in porn suffer repeatedly from rectal prolapse (because of pounding anal sex), and get diseases such as clamidia of the eye, gonorrhea of the throat, and fecal throat infections (because of the ATM act in which the penis goes from the anus to the mouth without washing).” Full article here.
Choking with a penis. For fuck’s sake.
- A woman was executed – shot in the head repeatedly, in Afganistan accused of committing adultery, while a hundred or so men watched and cheered. One comment on the YouTube Reuter’s report was, “These bitches deserved it. They were sluts!!!” …so there are obviously more than this one woman (of course). So where are the consequences for all the male ‘sluts’ in Afganistan?
I actually wept when I saw this report.
The above was just in the last few days (and there were more – but you get the gist). Then there’s the following:
- Women – and more catastrophically, girls – are being sold and trafficked as sex slaves. It’s abhorrent:
What can be done for these women and girls who live a life of actual, pure hell? I can’t imagine how, when the world seems so disinterested.
-
And here at home? In the ‘developed’ world, women and girls are sold a cookie-cutter image to aim for. That simple.
Why? Because money makes the world go around and we need our women, who carry the weight of consumerism, to BUY!
How can it be done? Create an unattainable image for most and therefore create self-hatred and loathing – splash it EVERYWHERE – make it fashionable – provide make-up, clothes, hairstyles (that all cost more than the male equivilants) – and then sit back (count your billions) and just watch women kill themselves over it.
Body and soul destroying.
-
Women have, without exaggerating, microscopic representation in the running of things on the entire PLANET, yet we make up half the population.
On top of that, it’s an insult to ANY man, after all, to have female traits – “You run like a girl; You’re not crying like a girl, are you?” And ten million other such insults.
Question #71: So how can we ever be seen as equals, when everything we are about and how we perseve, is considered sub-standard?
So here I am – feeling like the ache in my heart can’t quite take it. It practically seems hopeless.
The worst part is that there are people who continually test my claim that I’m not anti-male. I’m quite tired of it. My stance is simple:
Women victims of violence, rape, assault, prostitution, sexual trafficking – due to men. Period. And it’s horrific.
Women victims of inequality in the ‘developed world’ – due to decisions made by men…BUT to an extent, with our consent. Both playing a part.
We need to band together – women AND men dammit! – to start saying, “No, that’s not right!” – REGARDLESS of how long it’s been going on for or when the statement, “It’s how it’s always been,” enters your head.
Question #72: What’s the point of history and evolving, if we’re not prepared to make changes for the better??
Enough of the ‘women against men’ stance and visa versa. That’s not what I’m about (for the millionth time).
What’s the point of fighting me? How am I affecting the world for the worse by pointing out the countless ways women are being exploited worldwide? My journey is about us taking action together to get rid of the patriarchal world, run by a select few.
Deep melancholy breath.
x
Six Months.
July 10, 2012
It seems incredible, but it was six months today – in the very early hours of the morning – that I started writing this blog.
This is my 80th post, yesterday I passed 8,000 hits and asked my 70th question.
Woooo Hoooo!!
When I started, I thought that I’d run out of things to discuss. I had a few things that I definitely wanted to say, enough people in my life had heard it! – Haha! – but I was actually nervous about running out of steam.
But I’ve been proven wrong. It seems there is a plethora of material and actions to question – as we try to navigate through the machine that’s become a monster of consumption and lead our children through it.
There are two main objectives that I want to explore – in my true quest of balance: a) question how society (the village) is raising its children – by mainly asking women what they (we) can do to change our circumstances and b) hold a mirror to the huge amounts of outstanding and wonderful women out there, who are so clear and strong as to who they are and inspirational role models.
On a daily basis, I hear about unique women and all I want to do is write about them!…but then something pops up in the media that I need to discuss and put these lasses on the back-burner. But I promise to focus more on the ‘good’ – for a more balanced perspective, of course! *wink*
The time factor is an issue. Although the school holidays are currently affording me a pause from the crazed, daily routine and giving me the opportunity to write – the end is nigh and it’s back to full-time work on Monday. I’ll write when I can, even though my desire to do so outstrips the pockets of time available. Shorter pieces, maybe…although I can’t seem to stop once I get on a roll!
Thanks to all of you for joining me on this journey. At times I feel a little disheartened about things – will we actually be able to put on the brakes a bit? Not stop, just slow – but there are also other wonderful moments when the comments and insights you give me, fill me with hope – plus the fact that there are many, many other voices starting to be heard. That’s the way!
The picture below is me – now – in the glow of the laptop…literally on my lap!
I look forward to more conversations, comments and perspectives, from both women AND men; young and old. Ideally I would love more teens and young adults throwing in their thoughts…that would be awesome!
Basically, everyone’s welcome – without judgement; only questions and chats.
Tell your friends!
Deep Breath.
x
An important question for men and women. Equally.
July 9, 2012
I have a two-parter today. Women need to see this – but I really need to get some thoughts from the guys’ end of the fence. Unfortunately, what I’d really like, is to hear some young men’s perspectives, but I doubt they read this blog – so, seeing as you older lads know what’s going on inside a male’s mind, I’d love your opinion AND input as to how we can change things around.
Firstly there is a short going around, similar to Miss Representation, but instead looking at how the sexualisation of the current culture, is developing our future men:
There’s a question in the piece that asks:
“So where do guys get the idea that women are play things, eye candy and sexual objects for our enjoyment?”
As the question is being asked, a scene from a movie is shown, where a stream of attractive women walk in – dressed in lingerie – who then all bend over in front of a male who’s stunned, while the other, Adam Sandler, directs the girls to do it.
So degrading. As a woman, it’s hard to watch.
“The answer is, quite honestly, everywhere.” – they say.
True. It is. It’s at saturation point.
BUT!..and this is where I repeat that I’m not anti-male – you can’t have a stream of women bending over…WITHOUT WOMEN. Without their consent.
So, if our girls are lining up to pander to this heterosexual male fantasy (porn) behaviour and look:
Question #69: What are we, as a society, doing to instigate this?
Can it be changed? Pulled back a notch? Can we (you) stand up and do something to help gain some control of this spiralling problem?
OK – Part two.
A 20-something year old guy started a ‘bed of shame’ idea on Twitter, getting guys to take photos of themselves next to the woman they’ve spent the night with. Click here for article. It was so popular over the weekend – inundated with photos – that he’s doing it again. Filth.
Question #70: What do men think about the accessibility and ease guys have, to be able to do this to women?
I know what I think about all of this – and I’m sure you have a sense of what I think too…but what do YOU think? About any of it.
Is there a solution?
Leaving it with you.
Deep Breath.
x
Our bodies – A visual journey.
July 7, 2012
A comment responding to my last blog post, talked about Norman Lindsay’s paintings. This got me thinking about how our perceptions of what is considered beautiful, when thinking about the female form, have changed over the centuries.
In the 17th Century, Peter Rubens was painting women and they were always a little large and hearty.
The following painting, The Three Graces, was painted around 1693:
I think a lot of women can identify with some of the features present in this painting – biggish bums, solid thighs, bumps, creases, folds and boobs that are a bit smaller than what’s happening in the under-carriage. I think Rubens was a ‘bum’ guy because you can see the women depicted in his paintings in much the same way.
Question #67: Is this the ‘natural’ form of a woman?
Maybe. In that day, I’m sure there were ‘fashions’ (as there always are), but I wonder if altering body shape was one of the goals – as it is obsessively today.
Here is a painting, Imperia, by Norman Lindsay. Norman was painting in the early 1900s (this one was 1920). I think he was definitely a ‘breast’ man:
If you have a look at his female subjects, they were very buxom indeed…but they were also big in the thigh area and around the tummy…plus there’s pubic hair. As I wrote in my response to Hannah, I think the waxed/Brazilian of the pubic area is a new, acquired taste…possibly connecting it to a look where women look pre-pubescent?
By looking at these two paintings, if you had either of these bodies – which a lot of women do – you would probably be unhappy with certain parts. Hell, if women have the ‘perfect’ body, they still find something to hate about it – hence all the ‘altering’ that goes on. (Read my last post – The beauty we aspire to, does not come naturally…or cheaply. Click here)
Were these women unhappy with their bodies? I wonder…
When I was in my early 20s (early 1990s) I remember there was a big story in Cosmopolitan about women’s bodies, that has stayed with me all these years later. Over a two page spread, they had photographs of the bodies, front and back, of about fifteen or so women. Their heads weren’t in the picture and they were completely nude with their hands held together in front of their pubic area.
The article wanted to know what women AND men felt was a beautiful female body. I remember my eyes gravitating towards this gorgeous, lean and ‘perfect’ body. She had longish legs, small waist and breasts that were just right – not too big and not too small. She looked like a size 10 (quite small here in Australia) and she had my vote.
The following month, the results were in. Out of the wonderful mix of body shapes and sizes, the women and men demonstrated a very definitive preference through their choices.
90% of women (yes, 90) voted the same body I had chosen, as the best. No surprises there! My older self feels disappointed with my younger-me…I was as predictable as the rest of the women…all chasing (and still chasing) one body weight and shape.
The men’s choice, however, was interesting. If memory serves about 86% (still a high number) picked the size 14 girl. She was in proportion BUT there were some serious curves…especially around the thigh, stomach and breast area.
Fascinating. I wonder if the guys of today would choose similarly?
To the young women of today, who are fighting their own battle to belong, feel at peace with themselves and (dare I say) find a way to be in love with their bodies, there’s not much of a mirror out there telling them that their bodies are ALL beautiful in their unique way.
I had a friend post a picture on Facebook of an overstretched and biggish stomach from having children. The image was trying in inspire women to love their untaut tummies due to the fact that they had made and grown a HUMAN BEING inside them – an absolute miracle…BUT most mums I know, don’t have that feeling of tenderness towards their stomachs – quite the opposite, in fact.
Question #68: Why do we do it to ourselves?
When I went to Google images of tummies, I predominantly got two images – a ‘hot’ flat stomach or a pregnant belly. (More hot than not!)
How sad that at the end of that pregnant belly, some women are left with a feeling of self-loathing towards what their body is left with. And when they turn for help, all they see is young, slim, taut and perky. C’mon.
TAKE ACTION!
The change happens within you and it CAN if you do the following (and it IS this simple):
Go to the mirror NOW and look at yourself through new eyes!! Woooo Hoooo!!
Deep Breath.
x
Beauty.
This is certainly a contentious issue – I mean, there’s that age-old, cliched question – what is beauty?
What I find interesting and incredibly frustrating is that in the current paradigm, we live in a society that rewards and reveres FAKE.
…and there’s NO way around it – in every single way, fake beauty is what we strive for.
WHAAAAT??
Studies show that we are a clever gender – I’m always pushing this point, actually – but in this massive DOOSEY of an issue, that dictates our gender’s life, we are simply stupid.
STUPID.
We do as we’re told by feeding into what media and popular culture dictate is beautiful and we exercise the self-hatred of our looks and bodies, like good little girls – something that industries perpetuate and thrive off .
How lovely that there are a few people out there who are living a disgustingly, greedy life – by sucking on the jugular vein of women’s insecurities like vampires.
But at the risk of sounding repetitive ladies, the vampire can’t suck as easily as he does without us running up and presenting our neck for feeding!
Am I victim of this? YES!! Of course I am. I feel MUCH better about myself (and subsequently started looking better) than I did than when I was younger, but in essence, I have been conditioned to feel this way, as generations of women have – but now it’s getting ugly…no pun intended! I simply wasn’t exposed to what girls are being besieged with today. But I bet I felt what they do now.
As I’ve also said before, I use makeup, I most certainly use a bra and I shave my legs and armpits. I like to wear nice clothes (when I can get out of the house! Haha!) and appear attractive.
But this is where things get complicated…what is attractive? What is beautiful?
Most importantly – to both men and women – what is the MEDIA telling you is beautiful?
Answer? ONE look – with all its fickle, attached connotations that go with that look. That is all.
There is NOTHING real out there, girls! ALL the images of women in magazines (as we all know) are airbrushed / altered / tweeked etc. etc. etc.
ALL.
Let’s take a look at the most ineffectual woman (and one of the richest) on the planet: Kim Kardashian – well she’s effectual for me to make this point, I suppose.
Although on one hand we’re told that ‘curves are great!’ etc. etc. Snore. Snore. – the images we’re presented with, are quite a different story.
Now, if we look at these images of Kim, we can see that she has been ‘shaved’ of her total ‘booty’/thigh area by quite a bit. All unsightly (cellulite) bumps quickly taken care of. TICK ! Yes, embrace your curves!!…just not that much…
Her ample bosom has also been ‘shaved’ on the side because we don’t want any of that ‘side-boob-hangin’-out-under-the-armpit’ crap – just bountiful, lifted, straight-out-the-front breasts. TICK!
Her skin has even been made lighter. TICK!
Now, this is the part that gets my goat:
Firstly – IF, by today’s definition, Kim encompasses everything that is beautiful – why does she need tweeking?
Secondly – Why is someone so fake even considered beautiful to start with?
The enigma to me is that we know she probably has some cellulite issues and we know that there are probably some rolls in there and…
…what’s wrong with that?
It’s Kim the gimmick I have a problem with because if she were just any other girl with a normal amount of make-up on and regular clothes – we would probably ostracise her look. You know it’s true…and yet, to add insult to injury – the faker she is, the more we throw money at her.
So many women in the spotlight have succumbed to the pressure of having one look – plastic and fake – and why shouldn’t they? when a) they won’t get ‘hired’ – especially after they hit the “You don’t look so young anymore” ceiling AS WELL and b) the minions (us) keep shouting, “You are SO BEAUTIFUL” to them.
This is where I have to tell young girls (especially) to put their thinking caps on.
1. Media (in conjunction with big business – a marriage made in money) create female insecurity, by saying, “Look this way!” Period.
2. It’s then us women who fill in the blanks with…”or be ugly/die alone/ be a failure/be unlovable…” etc. etc.
Well it can end today ladies, with a simple shift of thought. Eleanor Roosevelt said:
“Noone can make you feel inferior – without your consent.”
Without your consent.
Predominantly, you feel the way you do because it’s what’s been entrenched in your psyche – yes – but ultimately it’s your CHOICE.
We are in a Catch-22 situation that is VERY hard to get out of, in this day and age, because of the easiness of creating false images.
We then buy, buy and BUY into this mono-image that’s popular and in turn, feed the monster.
The men at the top say, “Hey! It’s what the ladies want.”
Question #66: Is it?
Yes, at this stage I think it is. We’re creating and driving it along.
We can either want and strive for the unattainable and EXPENSIVE-to-uphold, image or feel shit about ourselves. Well, we certainly don’t want to feel shit, so let’s see if we can buy ourselves out of feeling this way. And we certainly do try.
STUPID.
What you’ll pay on the Carbon Tax will pale in comparison to what you (may) already pay on attaining society’s perception of ‘beauty’.
Don’t hear much complaint to our government about how society is moulding our daughters to be hyper-sexualised, insecure consumers with an INSATIABLE appetite…
Deep Breath.
x
A question for men – #3
July 3, 2012
Just a quick observation.
I was watching The Project last night and one of the stories was about an annual competition here on the east coast of Australia:
The Face of Origin…
…for The State of Origin, of course.
As usual, the women all looked the same – long hair, lots of make-up and fake tan, little amount of clothing etc. etc. Snore. Snore.
I actually wonder how the guys pick the ‘winner’ out of the bunch…eeny, meeny, miney, mo?
Anyhoo, that’s just one angle – the obvious one – but here’s my question to you:
Question #65: Why can’t the ‘Face of Origin’ be a guy?
It’s a $20,000 prize.
Twenty THOUSAND dollars!!
So why can’t it be a guy? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a guy represent the ‘face’ of Rugby League?
With that sort of money – I was curious as to what you thought…
Deep Breath.
x
Feeling the strain, mums and dads?
June 29, 2012
A few months back I wrote a post about the balance (or lack thereof) in our lives called – The strong, but stretched, women around me.
Recently I went through – and to some degree, am still going through – a very rough patch with myself, especially in regards to my daughters.
A lot of tiredness from work – both in my place of employment and at home – coupled with less patience and a shorter fuse, meant that things weren’t good.
And the GUILT.
Every time I faltered, I saw any efforts made to change things around (because it had to start with me), go down the toilet.
But my mind is just SO. FULL. It is a rare moment where there isn’t something to organise…coordinate…remind…do…
…and from talking to friends of mine, of both sexes, there are a lot who are struggling for some meaning to it all because of how hard it seems to be at times.
In these more desperate moments, I have found myself stepping back and looking at how our society is structured and wondering how (or if) it’s contributing to all this.
Our society is pretty archaic. It hasn’t evolved much.
We have, in essence, been living the same sort of life for decades and besides some changes here and there – like there being more women in the workforce now – we are inherently still chasing the same sort of dream or blueprint to ‘happiness’ as past generations – go to school, get a job, buy a car, buy some type of housing, get married, have kids…and start all over again.
Which lends itself to make us question why we keep repeating the same ‘type’ of life, time and time again.
Even our school system, based on the 50s, hasn’t changed. In a YouTube video called Did You Know?, it states that:
“The Top 10 in-demand jobs in 2010…did not exist in 2004. We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t exist yet…using technologies that haven’t been invented…in order to solve problems we don’t even know are problems yet.”
It’s gobsmacking, when you think about how technology, jobs and skills are growing at the speed of light – while we obsess about whether our child will ever be a success if they struggle with English, Maths and Science. Watch this following clip about our education system – it will blow you away:
So we’re in a circular, Groundhog Day, style of life that we pretty much pass on to our kids, with a few tweeks here and there.
Question #64: Is it possible to gain the right balance for both women and men in the important areas of our lives?
The following article: A Million Women Are Reading This, is absolutely fantastic!
I think it challenges us to think about the issues that affect all men and women, and whether it’s possible to change for the better – a change that matches the world we currently live in, not one from decades ago, when the decisions of ‘how life should be’ were made.
I’ve touched on a lot of the issues in this article, throughout my posts.
What do you think?
Deep Breath.
x
A question for men – #2
June 26, 2012
In my kitchen there is an interesting piece I found in an antique shop when I was in my 20s. Its rustic, wooden frame contains a page from a Home Economics book circa 1950. Its title is:
Tips to look after your Husband.
When my daughter was about six and really getting into reading, she stood in front of this and started to read. I was cooking dinner and giggling as she read lines such as:
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs…
….. and would then turn to me and say, “Have you done that?”
Or then there’s this snippet of wisdom:
Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner – count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day…
“Have you done that?”
It sounded ludicrous and that’s why it was so funny to hear, in this day and age.
BUT at the same time, it got me thinking about how women seem to have always been instructed on how to behave towards men – 1950s: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” 2012: …I wouldn’t even know what to write here – I imagine it would be very sexual.
As I have said many times over – I was your poster girl for teen-girl feelings, hopes and dreams – I wanted to find the perfect guy.
How was I going to do that? Get advice from Cleo and Cosmopolitan magazines, of course! Haha! Tragic.
These magazines, which I religiously read throughout my university years in the late 80s/early 90s, provided every young woman with everything they needed to know – chock full of advice on how to look, what to wear and most importantly – how to snag a guy…including ENDLESS sexual activity ideas – especially with his penis.
Ironically enough, Jezebel just published a list of Cosmopolitan’s Most Ridiculous Sex Tips article here. Gee, there are some CLASSIC suggestions in this list – and if anyone can remember, it was more of the same – issue after issue.
Instructions for women.
So I just have this question:
Question #62: Where are the instructions for young men about how to treat a woman, in their popular culture?
It’s concerning that girls are continually being groomed to satisfy men – only.
Again, ladies and gentlemen, there ain’t nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy your partner. It’s important to learn what makes them tick and want to please them.
But what are boys being taught about women? What are their magazines (for example) teaching them?
Well, all that seems to be out there for boys are specialty sports magazines and ones like Zoo Magazine – which is basically soft-porn/porn, with sections such as: ‘Booty Bank’ and ‘Strip Search’.
How are boys supposed to have a respectful attitude towards women, when they don’t get an ‘instruction manual’ like women seem to have?
Of course, I KNOW men would cry out collectively and say the manual would look something like this:
Well, it would be a start boys…it would be a start.
Deep Breath.
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