Just sayin’ – #4
May 30, 2012
Picture this – you have a yearning to do something – something that gives you a real fire in your belly. You’ve been told that being a woman means that there are no boundaries and that you can do anything! GO FOR IT!
Well, some of the women who are involved in the LFL feel that fire and want to feel that sporting challenge.
This week I have heard arguments in favour of the LFL – of genuinely interested women who want to play but have no other avenue to do so…unless they wear ‘the uniform.’
Question #49: What does this say about our unequal world, if the only way these women can play this sport is by looking sexually provocative?
As I’ve heard said, “Why else would anyone go watch women’s sport?” Sad.
I asked why these women don’t just start up a league and play on their own terms… and the answer is – it doesn’t make money.
When the LFL was about to launch in the US, the Chicago Tribune quoted: “For those who have long mulled what would happen if you wedded Victoria’s Secret with professional football, the Lingerie Football League debuts…” it also says, “…the league, billing itself as true fantasy football…”
It is, what it is.
Whatever positive messages this sport has, it’s lost in its packaging – or lack there-of.
Sad.
If my wonderful grandmother were still alive, I wonder what she would think of women being portrayed and SOLD in this manner?
…Just sayin’
Deep Breath.
x
It’s less than a week before the LFL plays in Brisbane and Sydney and I’m going to continue using my voice to oppose it. Go to Change.org and vote!
The Debutante Ball.
May 28, 2012
This is a quick post to tell you about my Saturday Night.
I was the Matron of Honour at my school’s Debutante Ball and it was a wonderful night! There were 18 girls and they were all from my year group (Yr 11), so it was really special.
I got my hair done for the first time in years and my sister gave me a divine dress to wear.
Now, I know that some may think that a Debutante Ball is archaic – considering that the young ladies are being ‘presented’ to society – but I tell you what, it was enchanting.
As each girl slowly walked down with her partner to greet the Guest of Honour, we were all treated with an account of how these girls want to make their mark in the world.
It filled me with delight to hear the girls’ dreams and goals – dressed in white, with long gloves and a sense of ballroom elegance.
That’s the word: elegant.
I was equally proud of the young men, the majority of whom are also from my year group, for the way they conducted themselves – as gentlemen.
The Guest of Honour, a successful solicitor (lawyer, if you’re American), spoke of her journey; from her school days, full of dreams and hopes, to today. How after life’s curve balls and three children later, she finally saw her dream come to fruition…after nine years of study. It was inspirational to hear a woman speak of the value of having dreams and the willingness to stick through hard times to realise them.
There was a small element to the night, however, that was a little disappointing. Although we were in a gorgeous abundance of gowns, black ties and formality – there were some girls in the audience, who were a tad under-dressed for the evening.
Question #48: What I’m wondering is, why are there girls who don’t know how to ‘dress for the occasion’?
But to all of those who dressed up to the nines – even if it was just for one special night – you all looked beautiful, elegant and RADIANT.
Now that’s what catches the eye of the right person.
Deep Breath
x
PS This is my hair from the back! Very spoilt.
What about the white elephant in the room?
May 25, 2012
The creator of the LFL, Mitchell Mortaza, has issued an official statement in direct response to Australia’s Federal Minister for Sport, Kate Lundy.
I am utterly perplexed because what we’re saying is simple. Either the men involved don’t get it or they just want to have things their way. I think they get it.
In the statement, the only issue Mortaza discusses about the LFL, in its defence, is the actual sport itself. I don’t think there’s a single woman out there who wouldn’t applaud any female athlete, who challenges and extends her physical boundaries.
But what about the white elephant in the room? The fact that the women are playing a tough, injury ridden game in. their. frilly. underwear! …with garter belts, bow ties and accidental nudity to boot!
Question #47: If it truly is all about the sport, why do the women have to play in unprotective, sexually provocative underwear?
THAT’s the problem. It’s sexism…and it’s exploitation. As a response to a comment left after my last post, I wrote:
This is what was written about one of the US players of the LFL:
Tampa Breeze Florida player Liz Gorman told CBC Radio earlier this year what it is like to wear uniforms designed for maximum flesh exposure: “Oh. Well … well, honestly … I don’t like it. I’d rather wear full clothing. Because when you fall, it literally rips your skin. I’d love more clothing, but at the same time like any sport, the players don’t get to choose the uniform.”
Well, she doesn’t sound like she loves it but if she says no, she’ll probably lose her job. Do you know what it reminds me of? When I worked in Uruguay and the people there had terrible workers’ rights – and if you didn’t like your situation? Well, there’s a queue of people willing and waiting to take your spot. It’s exploitation.
On the Collective Shout FB page, they wrote:
“Have just been listening to some interviews with ex LFL players. All the same story, they say they paid health insurance with the LFL, endured a serious injury and the LFL refused to pay. One woman is thousands in debt because of medical expenses.”
Wow, sounds like a dream job! The fact that all these revelations are coming out means that these women are (or will eventually) be exploited. Bottom line.
Therefore, it’s wrong and we should fight against it coming here.
According to Mortaza, the Australian fan base brought them out. Surely there’s more of us who are against it…surely…
Does anyone else like Mortaza’s suit? Nicely covered, isn’t he? One woman wrote the following on Collective Shout’s FB page:
“People with power are clothed. People without power, unclothed. Simple”
I’ll leave you ladies with something to mull over. On the issue of gender clothing coverage, have you noticed how guys’ boardshorts are getting longer? I’ve seen lengths that are mid-calf. MID-CALF! That’s a lot of coverage. What are they trying to hide? They used to wear actual shorts 25 years ago…actually guys and girls had similar lengths.
So, why don’t they wear Speedos?
What? They don’t want to show the world their ‘penis bump?’ Feel a little too exposed?
Women, on the other hand…
Deep Breath…and don’t forget to vote against this on Change.org!
x
With power comes great responsibility.
May 24, 2012
It feels like we’re entering (if not already entered) a paradigm where power is highly sought after – but the ‘responsibility’ that comes with that power, is being neglected.
This issue of the Lingerie Football League (LFL) is getting me quite fired up. I’ve been having a small ‘discussion’ with a man on my Questions for Women Facebook page. My last comment to him is at the end of this post.
His perception, like maaaany, is that we need to take a ‘chill pill’ about the whole thing.
I must admit that my first response to him had some bite because, like many comments I’ve read before, men compare something like the LFL to the uniforms worn by Beach Volleyball players (for example).
They see the difference and that alarms me deeply.
That one is a uniform adequate for the sport and the other is lingerie with garter belts?…and ‘accidental nudity?’ According to an article written by Melinda Tankard Reist:
“Players have to sign contracts agreeing to “accidental nudity”. There’s nothing accidental about it: flesh exposure is virtually guaranteed. The contract states: ” … Performances hereunder may involve accidental nudity. Player knowingly and voluntarily agrees to provide player’s service … and has no objection to providing services involving player’s accidental nudity.”
If they wear any additional items of clothing under the lingerie they will be fined $500. Apart from All Star matches, they are not paid. And they are at serious risk of injury. In fact, the league brags about all the injuries suffered by female players.
It is a mix of voyeurism and violence.”
Now – the most important point or argument put forward:
“But they’re doing it of their own free will.”
Are they? Really?
Well, yes, literally they are – but is the decision an educated one? If you think of the quote, “You can’t be what you can’s see” (Miss Representation), these women are products of what they’ve seen around them, as they’ve grown and developed, and now they’re simply making the image grow, as it tragically becomes ‘fashion’ or worse, the norm. It’s a growing emergency because the more girls and young women are ‘fed’ this image, the more they feel the necessity to join up…
…and don’t the guys just love that they do.
After all, human beings have that uncanny knack for doing things that may not be the best for them – especially it feels good. Right?
And this is where I need to state – quite emphatically – that I don’t begrudge people of their desires. But I need to ask:
Question #46: Where do we draw the line? Where’s the responsibility to our youth?
I believe these young women DO need our help – make it our responsibility, seeing as the men in power are only looking out for themselves – because these women haven’t had much else to model themselves on. They’re insecure of their worth and need validation. They’re told by men that they’re ‘hot’ – paid nothing (in most cases) – and are ultimately exploited.
I continue to be completely (and sadly) gobsmacked that this LFL was permitted to come to Australia. The presentation game is in Sydney in two and a half weeks, so please make sure you vote against this on Change.org:
I think there may even be two different petitions going. Sign them all!
Deep Breath everyone!
x
![US_SOCIE(32)[1]](https://questionsforus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/us_socie321.jpg)
Facebook comment:
This ‘sport’ only exists to exploit women to service men’s desires.
This is a great post about The Lingerie Football League coming to Australia. Not only is this as sexist as it gets – they are enticing families to take the kiddies along. We must all stand up and say “NO” to this.
Deep Breath
x
Today’s Herald Sun featured an article by Australian women’s activist and www.collectiveshout.org co-founder Melinda Tankard Reist, reiterating all the reasons we should not let Lingerie Football League (LFL) come to Australia.
WHEN a man plays gridiron – or American football – he is dressed for maximum protection to ensure safety in a game known for its raw physicality. His body is covered, with little exposed flesh, to minimise injury.
It’s not the kind of game a man would consider playing in his underwear. That would just be dumb, right? But it seems rules are different if you are a woman playing for the Lingerie Football League (LFL). The less clothing the better. In fact, it’s a requirement of the game.
LFL is blatant sexualisation and sexism, while promoting violence towards near naked, physically unprotected women, with outrageous clauses for maximum boob and bum exposure with little or no pay and the whole…
View original post 312 more words
Barren.
May 20, 2012
Now here’s another post that has been hard to write. It’s funny that when I discuss people I know and love, it becomes difficult to ensure I get it right – to respect them.
I feel a little ashamed about my last post – carrying on about the difficulties of motherhood – when there are SOOO many women who would give anything and everything (and financially, they generally do) to be able to have a baby.
A very close and dear friend of mine, is in a horrible, heart-wrenching, never-ending roundabout – desperately trying to fall pregnant and it’s getting towards the end of ‘trying’ through IVF…and she’s so very, very sad.
She used the word barren.
It’s such a confronting word – like a slap – and it pained me to hear her say it about herself, with such anguish. I didn’t know how to console her. How could I? When I know that if I were in her place, I’d be devastated…just like she is.
My friend is not someone who ‘left it too late’ – although she is 40+ – she just met the perfect, love of her life in her mid-30s. They are a beautiful couple who are so blessed to have found each other; it’s such a cruel irony that they seem unable to conceive and take that natural next step.
In her place, I’d be wallowing in a murky sea of, “Why?” As she put it, on paper everything looks right – but it just isn’t happening and in this day and age of advanced technology – they can’t tell her why.
To add salt to the wound – she is friends with a couple (two males) who have two children, through surrogacy. They are close and my friend is not only delighted for them but is also God Mother to one of the children – but the surrogacy door is closed for her because here in NSW, it’s a criminal act (as of last November) to pay someone to have your child:
“It will impose penalties of two years’ jail, a $110,000 fine, or both on parents who pay for a surrogate here or abroad to carry their child.” *
…unless my friend moves to Victoria – where it’s legal. So we are a divided nation on the topic of surrogacy, it seems.
And what does the future hold for women in this situation? Well, they see a bleak and lonely one – one where they can’t pass on their lessons on life to their child, wrapped in unconditional love. Worse still, they wonder whether they’ll be enough for their partner – not being able to ‘give’ them a child.
Question #45: Are there any of you out there who can bestow some wisdom and support on this matter?
I’ve known quite a few women throughout my life, who have found pregnancy – such a natural and seemingly easy thing to do – skip past them. They’ve had to go through the pain of seeing their period arrive, over and over again, and get that sinking feeling – a hole where hope was bubbling only a moment ago. I felt that stomach plummet sensation twice – once before each one of my girls decided to join me. Each time I thought, “Oh no.”
But if I multiply those two nothing moments in my life, by the countless times these women see their period arrive, before they decide to try IVF and suffer egg extractions, needles, pills…and STILL see their period arrive…well, I can’t know what sort of grief that brings – but I did hear it in my friend’s voice.
It’s an understatement to say that I feel fickle and ungrateful, complaining about my children…simply being children. I know that many women would swap with me in a heartbeat.
My heart goes out to all the women who experience these soul-destroying months.
… and I send out my deepest love to you, dear friend.
Deep Breath.
x
Just sayin’ – #3
May 20, 2012
I was watching the horror space movie Event Horizon last night and noticed that they’d cut out a lot of the more really scary visual images – the Hellraiser type ones. I thought, “Fair enough”…it was on the TV and the movie did start at 8.30pm.
Last year, however, when I was flicking through channels, I stumbled on something quite different. The Aussie TV series Underbelly Razor (set in the roaring 1920s and based on real events) was on and the scene was in a bar, where two women – being looked on by a crowd – were having a very heated verbal argument.
One of the women challenged the other to fight and she agreed. At this point both women took of their tops and completely bare-breasted, started to fight each other.
I kid you not.
That was also on at 8.30. Pity there’s no thought of cutting out scenes like that.
…Just sayin’.
Deep Breath.
x
PS It’s been a crazy week. Exhausted – but all good. Next post is coming soon.
Mothers’ Day.
May 13, 2012
Here’s to you.
Here’s to Us.
To the lives and households we run;
To the families we are raising – teaching – guiding…
…the same families who drive us insane!
1. FOOD – We think about what everyone will eat – all. the. time.
- What needs to be done: *Write shopping list, *Do shopping, *Put away shopping, *Cook, *Bear 2.7 questions an hour from children about what they can eat, *Organise food for meals and snacks whenever outside the home…etc.
2. APPEARANCES – We worry about the state of our family’s clothing and general grooming issues.
- What needs to be done: * Remind children to put dirty clothes IN the basket *Soak clothes, *Wash clothes, *Hang clothes, *Bring in clothes off the line, *Iron clothes, *Take clothes to corresponding rooms, *Go shopping for clothes, *Shower/Bath routines, *Hair Brushing, *Finger and Toe nail appearances…etc.
3. CHILDREN – 24/7.
- What needs to be done: *Remember…EVERYTHING, *Continually Repeat All Instructions/Statements…over and over again, *School Matters – Sign notes + know what days Library Day/Sports’ Uniform Day fall on, *Coordinate dropping off and picking up from Day Care/School, *Organise Holiday activities and playdates *Doctors’ appointments, *Sickness…etc. etc. etc.
4. BED-TIME ROUTINE – Yes, it’s a dot point on its own!
- What needs to be done: *Remind children of their expected routine – with 5 minute reminders, *Be prepared to be asked to listen to something REALLY important, at this time; every night – it goes something like this, “Muuuum?” “What.” “Can I tell you something?” “Go to bed.” “Pleeaaasse?” “What.” “Uuuuummm….”, *Have about an average of three things each child has ‘forgotten’ to do, that comes to mind at this time of the night…etc. ._.
5. LOVE LIFE – We worry about our relationships with our partners.
- What needs to be done: *Well, every relationship is different – you know what you do.
6. WORK – A juggling and balancing act.
- What needs to be done: *Aaah…Juggle and Balance – whether full-time, part-time, job-sharing, casual, shift-work – it’s another complicated job.
7. TIME FOR YOU – Few and far between.
- What needs to be done: *Find time! Really. Get out and have time away from it all – even for a little while…I’ll babysit for you!
8. ETC. ETC. ETC. – Everything Else.
For all these areas, there is help – some mothers get more; some less – but everything is ALWAYS a part of a mum’s thoughts.
And the quality that weaves through all of us is:
Strength.
I think what we do as mothers is simply gob-smacking.
It’s the toughest gig there is – but when those windows of sun and wonderfulness bathe us…well, we understand the why; enough to keep going onwards.
I only hear stories of what’s ahead and it sounds like this ride never eases up – bring it, I say!
I salute you all.
Mothers of all ages.
All my Love.
x
This post is dedicated to my mum. Un beso grande, Mamá.
At the start of the week, I (and hopefully you) signed the petition against the Lingerie Football League.
Very late last night I signed the following petition:
Basically one of our high-profile AFL (Australian Football League) players, Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin (a ‘role model’), is part owner of the ‘fashion’ brand Nena & Pasadena – that includes the porn t-shirts I’ve featured in previous posts.
Collective Shout has started this petition, calling the AFL to action on this football player. This is some of the explanation on the petition:
The Australian Football League’s Respect and Responsibility Policy represents the AFL’s commitment to addressing violence against women and to work towards creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community. The Respect and Responsibility Policy is about shifting attitudes – ensuring that people throughout the Australian Football industry are aware, and have structures in place, that recognise that violence against women and behaviour that harms or degrades women, is never acceptable.
AFL player Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin is an owner and model for the Nena and Pasadena fashion brand, which designs porn-themed t-shirts, fosters misogyny and encourages rape jokes.
Franklin’s management has been quick to distance their client from the brand maintaining he is “a shareholder only”. However, Franklin deliberately uses his AFL profile to promote the company on countless websites and in the media and has self-identified as ‘owner’.
We want to tell the AFL that Franklin’s continued ownership and promotion of Nena and Pasadena is not consistent with the AFL’s Respect and Responsibility policy “creating safe, supportive and inclusive environments for women and girls across the football industry as well as the broader community.”
I recently had a look at Nena and Pasadena’s Facebook Page and it asked of its followers: “How do you seal the deal? Best answer wins a t-shirt.”
I read the responses like – “I hope she can’t run faster than me down the alley way,” as well as some with references to rape and women being refered to as ‘bitches’ – and it made my stomach sink. These regular guys are out there and that’s how they feel about women. Thankfully it was reported and that comment feed has now been taken down.
Please sign! Every vote counts!
Deep Breath.
x
The following picture is of Franklin in one of his T-shirts:
Just sayin’ – #2
May 10, 2012
It’s Mothers’ Day this Sunday and I saw a lingerie catalogue for mums…using very young, ‘hot’ women.
Lingerie for mothers – who have had humans exit their womb – being modelled by hotties.
This brought me to ask:
Question #44: Who is making the decision to use these types of unrealistic images – men or women?
Because whichever way you look at WHATEVER image you’re looking at – you can’t escape one undeniable and deflating fact:
You can’t have these unrealistic, fake, plastic, hyper-sexaulised images of women…without women.
…Just sayin’.
Deep Breath.
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Questions for Us 